August 9th, Present Day, Doggett Residence...
Monica walked into Anna's room and smiled. She had heard Anna impatiently walking around her room hoping to get her presents soon, and when Anna had heard her mother getting up she ran into her bed and hid under the covers. The truth was Monica had set her alarm early to prepare herself to tell Anna about her pregnancy. It had completely skipped Monica's mind that Anna wouldn't show any interest because she had been told a week previously, but she wanted to tell her herself and was slightly concerned that Anna might not like the idea of not being an only child anymore.
Monica walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers and Anna burst into giggles.
"Hey birthday girl." Anna jumped up and leapt into her mother's arms.
"Happy birthday, shall we see if there are any gifts for you downstairs?"
"Uh huh!"
"Ok, but first I have something I need to tell you." Monica sat down on the bed and Anna sat down on her lap.
"Ok, you know that you saw your daddy last week, and he told you he had a gift for mommy?" Anna nodded her head.
"Well, you were right, I'm going to have a baby."
"I know that mommy."
"I wanted to tell you that it was true though. And I want you to know that I love you so very much, no matter what."
"I know mommy. I can't wait! I'm gonna be a big sister! Like William and Jack!" Monica laughed.
"Not exactly, but you got the right idea."
"Mommy, if it's a boy I think we should name him daddy after daddy."
"Well, I don't know about 'daddy' but I think John would be a good idea?" Anna seemed to consider this for a moment before smiling and hugging her mother.
"Ok! Can we go downstairs now?"
"Sure we can baby."
"And can I have pancakes? The way daddy makes them?"
"You can have anything that you want."
By lunchtime Anna had played with every toy five times over and was now in the garden with William who arrived just ten minutes ago with his parents and brother who gave Anna their gift. She had ripped into it so fiercely that Jack had hidden as the gift paper went flying around the room. Anna had been delighted with the bright yellow remote control car she had received and William took her outside to show her how fast it could go on the grass. Monica had been dreading this day for weeks and now that it was finally here she was shocked at how easy this was for her. Of course it would have been perfect if John were there, but just a little off centre of perfection was ok for now.
Mulder came over to Monica and she smiled as he pulled her into a soft hug. She was touched by his show of affection and he smiled as he pulled back from her.
"Congratulations. Dana told me."
"Thank you."
"You're gonna do fine Monica, you know that right?" Monica smiled and looked at Anna out of the window.
"Yeah I think I do."
When they'd eaten everything that Monica and Dana had prepared for the spread on the kitchen table it was time to play outside again. There were two knocks on the door just after they had all eaten, the first came from Phoebe Carmichael who looked absolutely terrified as Monica showed her through to the garden.
"Anna, come here a sec, I want you to meet someone." Anna came pounding over red faced and hair out of place from running around all day.
"This is Phoebe, she works with mommy now. Say hi." Anna smiled up at Phoebe and spotted the card and small gift in her hands.
"Hi Phoebe." Phoebe relaxed a little and crouched down to be level with Anna.
"Hi Anna, happy birthday. This is for you."
"Thank you Phoebe!" Anna took the gift and ran back over to William who watched eagerly as she tore through the wrapping. Monica looked back at Phoebe and smiled.
"Thank you, you didn't have to do that."
"It was my pleasure." Mulder walked over to them knowing exactly who this woman was and he was desperate to meet her.
"Oh Phoebe, this is Fox Mulder." Phoebe turned around and held out her hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you sir."
"Mulder, call me Mulder."
"Sorry. Mulder."
"So, you're running things with Monica now? Lets you and me have a little chat." Mulder took Phoebe to get her a drink and Monica laughed, she had warned Mulder not to tease Phoebe too much. As she turned back to the house Dana was walking out to talk to her.
"Monica, John's dad is here. He wants to talk to you before he comes outside. I told him you'd be right in."
"Oh. Ok, thanks. I'll be right back."
Monica saw Frank before he saw her. She watched him nervously pacing the room, his eye occasionally catching a photograph of John as if he was surprised to see him still staring at him. She had been upset at how they had parted, but Monica didn't want to hope for too much at her father-in-law appearing at her home without his wife to monitor what he said or did.
"Frank." She startled him and he turned, but smiled as he saw her walk towards him.
"Monica, thank you for seeing me."
"Well I wasn't about to throw you out if that's what you mean."
"No I know, but I don't deserve any of your time. Especially not today."
"So what's say you talk and I listen, and we waste as little time as possible?" Frank nodded his head slightly and smiled as Monica stood waiting for him to speak.
"I just had to tell you that I was sorry. I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry I was such a jerk, and that I love you and Anna very much. I can't explain the way I acted, but I can say that I was the happiest father in the world when John married you, he'd been miserable for so long and you were the only thing in his life that could make him smile or laugh. You made him happy Monica; you gotta know how important that was. And I adored you for it; you made my boy come alive. And you were family to us.
When you called and told us that John had died, and then told how it happened, you wanna know what my first reaction was? Thank God Monica's ok. Thank God she can take care of their little girl and continue to make people smile. And then I realised that no parent should react like that, my son was dead, and I couldn't decide whether I was more upset about that or more glad that you had been protected. It hurt me, and I know I hurt you. I just had to come here and tell you in person that I loved my boy, more than anything. But that I'd rather him have died for you than die alone."
Frank stopped talking and panicked as he saw the tears running down Monica's face. So he walked over to her, and he hugged her, pulled her close and showed her that she was still family. Monica had never believed anyone could make her cry like that speaking from their heart. John had done it. And now she knew where he had gotten the ability from. This was all still very hard. But at least now she believed in the possibility that it would get easier.
April 5th, Eight Months Later, Doggett Residence...
The rain was pounding hard on the windows but it didn't break the calm that Monica felt. She could hear Anna and William playing with her toys in the next room, and she could hear the TV down stairs that she knew Dana and Mulder would have been watching trying to keep Jack amused. They had stayed against her insistence that she could manage alone, and she had secretly been relieved when they said they would stay until later that evening. It was already beginning to get dark and Monica so badly wanted to close her eyes and get some sleep. But the small bundle in her arms was making that impossible.
Her son. Her very own little boy was sleeping soundly beside her as she watched him positively glowing. She had brought him home that morning having given birth the day before. On John's birthday. She couldn't take her eyes from him and as happy as she was she was crying out for John to be with her, to see their son, to be close to them and to hold him in his arms. She had been inundated with visitors, John's parents were in a motel about a mile away, and her own parents were flying up the next day. So this time alone with her baby was time to bask in and to allow him to know she was the one he had to depend on.
Monica closed her eyes just for a second and felt something inside. An ache that she had
harboured since John's death was boiling at the surface and she was afraid of why. She didn't open her eyes, yet she knew she was no longer alone. He was there. He was lying beside their son on their bed he was really here.
"So this is John Junior?"
"John..."
"I told you I'd always be here."
"Oh God John..."
"Open your eyes Monica..."
"No, I can't... If I do you'll be gone, I can't let you go."
"You have to. Open your eyes..." Monica opened her eyes and her heart skipped as she struggled to breathe at what she saw. John Doggett was in deed staring right into her eyes and she was afraid to blink.
"He's beautiful Monica..."
"I can't do this... I can't have you here and know that you're never coming back..."
"I'm not going anywhere Monica. I told you that no matter what I would love you, and I would protect you, I'm here. Just because you can't see me it doesn't mean that you can't feel me."
"But I'll never know..."
"You'll know Mon, believe me."
"I love you so much."
"I know..."
"It hurts so much to see you here... and not be able to touch you..." Monica was crying but it was just tears, tears that she didn't even notice she had begun to shed. John lifted a hand and he stroked her face. She shivered as she remembered how it felt to be close to him, and to be faced with never being close to him again.
"I promise I will never leave your side Monica. Not ever. No matter what. Now close your eyes."
"No..."
"Monica."
"John don't do this to me, please..." John looked at his son and he stroked his cheek. He kissed the baby's head softly and looked back at Monica.
"Make sure you teach him how to throw a ball straight."
"You can't come back again. You can't do that to me..."
"I know. It's time to let go. Take good care of our children Monica. Please... close your eyes." Monica sobbed as she closed her eyes and when John's lips brushed softly against her own her eyes slowly opened. But he was gone.
Monica cried and cried as she struggled to understand whether she had been dreaming or hallucinating, or both. Or whether John had really been there.
Anna walked into the room and straight over to the bed.
"He came to see you didn't he? I knew he would. Can I sit with you and the baby?" Monica nodded her head and Anna walked to the other side of the bed so that Monica had one of her babies on each side of her. She kissed Anna as she clung onto her mother, and the baby stirred a little as she lifted him up into her arms. Anna smiled as she looked at her brother and then up at her mom.
"It's all going to be ok now mommy, he promised. It's over."
"I think maybe you're right."
"We have baby John now."
"Yeah we do. Your daddy's really gone."
"He'll be back." Monica kissed Anna and closed her eyes again. She couldn't see him. But she knew that he was there.
THE END.