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Notes/Disclaimer: Prizefic for Rimsaena. Hope you like it. Companion fic to "Dreams of the Past." Kingdom Hearts is the property of SquareEnix and Disney. Sort of contains spoilers for the beginning of Chain of Memories: Reverse/Rebirt. (If you don't know what that is, well, that's a spoiler.) And maybe some minor minor spoilers for the rest of CoM.
- denotes memory
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Darkness.
Darkness everywhere.
Am I dead?
I remember... light. Why can't I see? Where am I?
The light. It's gone because he's gone. I hate him. Why did he have to leave me?
He didn't, of course. I left him.
I love him.
WHY? Why did he have to be the light? I fought! I was strong! It should have been me! I don't want to be cursed by this darkness anymore! I want it to go away! I want the light! I want him!
I hate the dark. Why has he gone?
Can you leave the dark?
Can I leave the dark? I don't know. I don't know if I can. I hate the dark. I hate it. But without it, what do I have? I am weak. I am like a child. The dark is all I have. I cannot have the light. I know I can't have him. The dark protects me. It makes me safe. I don't know if I can leave.
Can you leave the dark?
I'll protect you. I promise.
Sora? Yes. You promised me. If I am left alone, stripped of my darkness, I will have nothing. No light. No dark. Will you protect me then? Will you protect me, even though I'm tainted?
I thought I could control the darkness. I thought I was strong enough. You were strong. I was so afraid that one day I would wake up, and you would have far surpassed me. I would be nothing, and you would leave me behind. Only if I stayed ahead of you, slightly out of your reach, would you keep coming for me. It was the only way I could keep you. That's why I gave in to the dark. I was afraid of losing you.
My fears came true. You are strong now. And I am weak. I am worse than weak; I am nothing.
What does your heart say?
He was always trying to worm his way into my heart. I didn't want that, either. I didn't want to care about him. I grew up faster. I hit the change first. Long before he began to look at Kairi with that flutter in his stomach, I was looking at him through those same eyes. I was afraid. I didn't want to care. He would leave me behind, and I would be alone. But he kept trying. There was no way I could stay away from him, and every action of his drove him deeper and deeper into my heart.
Can you leave the dark?
Would I find him again? Is he out there, somewhere, waiting for me? Would he protect me, if I let go of the dark? If I could find him again, would he be my light?
Can you leave the dark, knowing that he might not accept you after you consorted with it?
No, I know Sora. He has already forgiven me. I know him because I love him. He may be buried deep in my heart, but I am also in his. He promised to protect me. He will not hurt me. Of this I am absolutely certain.
Can you leave the dark, knowing that he might not feel for you as you do for him?
Sora... Sora does not love me. But he does care for me. I will never know how much until I find him. And I cannot find him if I am asleep in the dark.
You are ready to awake, then?
Can I leave the dark? Can I find him again? Steeped in darkness so long, can I face the light?
Though it may burn me, though it may swallow me whole, though it may take and shatter my dark heart, I must face the light.
I am ready to leave the dark.
Oh God, that was hideous. Take me back.
or
Oh God, that was hideous. Let me complain to the author.