Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 by English standards (mainly for language)

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened? - 7/?

The first thing Cordy felt was the hand touching her back. "Back off Perv!!" She screamed turning around. To come face to face with Jonathan in vampire mode. She let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"I love it when they're feisty." Jonathan smiled at her.

Grabbing a cross out of her handbag Cordy returned the smile. "Don't flatter yourself Loser. That wasn't for you... that was for the Slayer on the dance floor. And I'm sure the other one's around somewhere."

Annoyed, Jonathan growled and lunged at her. Cordelia held the cross up in self defence, pressing it as near to him as she could.

He grabbed her arms in an attempt to stop her bringing it closer. Her arms successfully locked in place, he began to torment her. "Now what you gonna do bitch?"

Cordelia tried moving her arms to attack him with the cross, but she realised she couldn't get to it. Neither could she free her other hand to reach the stake also concealed in her handbag. Realising the stalemate, she did the only thing possible. She dropped the cross onto his forearm, and at the exact same time she kicked him in the groin.

Jonathan screamed, more from the burn of the cross than from the bruised genitalia. Cordelia used the time to pick up the cross again, and place the stake firmly in her free hand. By the time he'd recovered enough to fully stand up again, she was fully armed and facing off against him.

"Really think you can take me bitch?" He teased, lashing out with one of his hands. She stumbled backwards into the railing. The shock of contact making her accidently drop the stake. Jonathan saw this and smiled, casually kicking the stake off the balcony.

"Think of it more of a delaying tactic," She countered, nodding her head in the direction of the Slayer bounding up the stairs.

"Faith..." Jonathan hissed, turning his back on Cordelia. Eyes scanning the remaining club-goers wondering who he could use as a hostage.

Cordelia used the lack of attention in the best way she knew how. Grabbing a stool from behind her, she swung it into the back of Jonathan's head.

Causing him to topple over the balcony and fall to the ground below. Faith arrived just as he went over the edge. "Shit C... Guess you have changed." Faith said as she and Cordelia arrived at the railing to see what had happened. Buffy stopped her ascent up the stairs on the opposite side to Faith and quickly began to run down them. Jonathan pushed himself up off the floor, back in a normal human face. Xander had gone to fetch Cordelia's stake, the second he'd seen it drop. He now found himself standing between Jonathan and the rest of the dance floor, he still hadn't made it to the stake. Jonathan was about to attack, when suddenly the stool Cordelia had hit him with, landed on his head again.

"Who's the little bitch now?" Cordelia shouted, while Faith celebrated her direct hit. Xander used the spare couple of seconds to dive for the stake. Jonathan stood up and angrily tossed the stool into the crowd, ready to face off against Xander, whether he was armed or not.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jonathan saw Buffy running onto the dancefloor rapidly overtaking Jesse's own attempt to aid Xander. Jonathan weighing up the new odds turned and fled.

Xander passed the stake a few feet in front of him, as he headed towards Jesse. Buffy snatched it out of the air, as she quickly headed towards the door that Jonathan had left via.

"Shouldn't we go after her?" Jesse asked.

Xander indicated Faith's own run down the stairs, chasing off in pursuit of the others. "We're on damage control." He told him, as they headed to the students who'd been hit by the stool used in Jonathan's display of anger.

"Man I hope they catch him this time." Jesse commented, as they arrived, trying to wonder exactly who'd been hit. Willow was shortly by their side.

Cordelia came down to see them helping a young couple to their feet. "Nothing more than bruises." Willow was telling them, in a far too cheerful voice.

"Anything I can help with..?" Cordelia asked, once she reached the group.

"Nahhh..." Jesse replied. "Let's go get some drinks for when they get back." At her look he added, "It's the tradition Scooby celebration for a particular bad vampire's demise."

"Hold on... Jonathan's a bad vampire..? But he's... but he's... Jonathan." Cordelia asked confused.

"So he's not a vampire in your reality?" Willow asked confused.

"No."

"He's been pretty tricky here." Xander added. "Learnt from a nasty vampire."

"Yeah... Spike was his sire." Jesse informed her.

"Spike..? Vampire in a wheelchair, dumb hair..?" Cordy asked, remembering what the others had told her.

"Dumb hair, yes... wheelchair, no..." Jesse answered confused.

"Seems Spike has a thing for Slayers..." Xander stated, "Turns out he actually scopes out his target and evaluates them, before making initial contact." At her look he added, "I got possessed by a soldier."

"Yep... that's familiar... steal a rocket launcher here too?"

"Guess me and him are pretty similar after all." Xander smiled back at her.

"So... Jonathan?" Cordelia queried.

"Once Spike discovered which school the Slayer went to. He did the smart thing." Willow stated, almost spitting out the word smart. "Turned someone from her year."

Jesse expanded on it. "Not just anyone either. Someone she rescued... and who wasn't surprised when she rescued him... someone that must have seen her in action a few times."

"How long ago..?" Cordelia asked.

"Just over a year." Jesse responded. "Saved him from being the victim of a werewolf attack."

"Ahhh... Oz." Cordelia nodded in understanding.

"You've said that before... seem pretty sure too." Willow mentioned.

"He was part of the gang... your boyfriend to be exact."

"Right..." Willow said, looking uncomfortably towards Jesse.

Jesse grasped her hand reassuringly. "Wasn't you... and I wasn't there. No guilt huh?"

"No guilt." Willow agreed.

"Isn't Jonathan practically a fledgling though?" Cordelia asked confused. "Not really Master vampire status, is it? One year."

"Seems Spike was so willing to bag his third Slayer, that he took Jonathan under his wing completely. Trained him in everything he knew... Jonathan's far nastier than other vampires of his age... and he knows us." Xander said.

"And the sneaky bastard got away again." Faith said, as she and Buffy strolled back in. Buffy immediately heading to be engulfed in a Xander-hug.

"I really hate that guy." Buffy's muffled voice came from Xander's shirt.

Faith walked up to Cordelia, and offered out her hand. "Good work defending yourself. Quick thinking when you handed me the stool too. Guess you've passed the Scooby Gang vampire initiation ritual."

Cordelia took it. "Like it was ever in doubt."

Buffy turned to face Xander, "You wanna give Cordelia a lift home..? Me and Faith thought we might go on patrol before we check in."

"Sure." Xander offered his arm to Cordelia. "You too ashamed of me... or willing to take the chance in this bold new reality?"

Cordelia quickly took it. "Oh... I'm game. But I have a car of my own."

"I'll just follow... make sure you get home okay..." Xander offered.

Cordelia smiled back.

Willow took that as the end for the night. "Jesse give me a lift."

"Do I look like your chauffeur?" Jesse countered as they begin walking off.

"But I like you in spiffy clothes. Remember how horny I got when we had to go to your cousin's wedding. In fact just the thought of it is..." She finished the rest of the sentence whispering quietly in his ear.

"Kids eh..?" Xander laughed as they watched the two leave the club. "Excuse me for a moment."

He left Cordelia's side, in order to give his girlfriend a goodbye kiss. "See ya Faithie..." He shouted as he resumed arm-linkage with Cordelia and headed off towards the car park.

"Don't call me that Harris." Faith shouted after them as they left.

"So... one more sweep of the Bronze then some patrolling?" Buffy suggested, while Faith was still waiting for Xander's repsonse. Realising she wasn't going to get an answer, she dragged Faith by the arm back towards the stairs. "You go up... I'll meet you at the entrance in five."

"Sure B." Faith said as she starting scanning the crowds in front of her.

The Chase Mansion

"You got Faith to like you... I'm impressed." Xander admitted as he talked to Cordelia through the car window.

"Surprised..?" Cordelia grinned back, locking her own car where she'd parked it on a freespot of the drive near the building.

Xander smiled from the driver's seat. "If you knew how much shit the other you put her through... you'd be impressed too."

"Too much rhyming for me to pay attention. You're not a rapper you know."

Xander grinned and imitated the stars he'd seen on MTV, which mainly involved putting his hand in what he assumed was a funky position. "Boys from da hellmouth!!"

Cordelia winked as she walked inside. "So White... so very very white."

"I heard that."

"You were supposed to!!!" She shouted back as she entered the house.

Confident she'd be safe now she was indoors, Xander rolled his window back up, and proceeded to drive home.

A few hours later

Outside Giles Residence

"Come on..." Faith was trying to persuade her co-worker. "Come on... let's just skip it... we can tell G tomorrow."

"Let's just report in and go home." Buffy said.

"No way... I hate the way she stares at me... like I'm scum or something." Faith said standing on the spot.

Sighing Buffy walked behind her and started to push her towards the door. "She doesn't think you're scum... the sooner we do this, the sooner we can get home."

"Oh... it's fine for you... you didn't fail to help her." Faith argued, starting to push back.

"Neither of us found it... face it... regardless of what she reckons, it's probably not on the Hellmouth."

"But I hate that bitch..." Faith said a little too loudly. "Shit..." she added as Giles' door swung open.

"Hello..?" Giles said. "Oh good, it's you two... please come in."

Buffy walked in, Faith reluctantly followed. Scanning the room as she entered; she passed Giles holding the door open for them, and Jenny sitting down on the sofa.

"See..." Buffy whispered to her.

"Safe... phew." Faith whispered back.

"Hey girls." Jenny called from where she was sitting, "Want a drink or a biscuit..?" she offered the contents of the tray on the coffee table.

"No... I'm fine..." Buffy politely declined.

"Oooooh Choccy ones..." Faith said selecting a couple.

Giles sat down next to Jenny.

Faith mumbled through a half chewed biscuit. "We saw Jonathan again toni..." she began.

Then stopped, she swore she'd heard it. The sound of a toilet flushing somewhere in Giles' apartment. "Shit..." she said, spraying some bits of biscuit out in front of her.

"I take it, from the use of the word 'saw' and not 'staked', that Jonathan escaped again." Came the voice of Gwendolyn Post, from the doorway to Giles' other rooms. "Really two Slayers, and you can't take out one solitary vampire."

End chapter seven