Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 by English standards (mainly for language)

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened? - 8/?

Later that night

Joyce was drifting in an out of consciousness. She always found herself stirring at this time of night. Least she had since she'd discovered the truth about her daughter. It was when the girls were due back. Every night without fail she'd find herself feeling anxious about now. When she'd first learned the truth, she tried to wait up for her each night, that'd lasted about a week. She just couldn't function on that little amount of sleep. Her work had started to suffer, and she was getting irritable over the smallest things.

She changed that ritual into one where she went to sleep at a reasonable hour, setting an alarm for around 3am to confirm her daughter was safely inside. She always ended up making herself a cup of coffee in order to force herself not to drift off again; whenever Buffy caught her doing this she wasn't impressed. 'She doesn't know what it is to be a worried parent.' Joyce had figured. Add to the fact that Buffy always sneaked back into the house, she never knew if her daughter was home or not. 'I think it's a teenage thing... sneaking into the house in the middle of the night, even when they actually have permission to be out that late.'

Since the arrival of Faith however, Joyce seemed to sleep easier. She never forced herself to wake up, though she still always did. 'There's two of them and they watch each other's backs.' Joyce thought.

Then she heard it. The sound of the television being turned on downstairs. Followed immediately by Buffy's muffled voice, "Will you turn it down..? Mom's asleep upstairs."

Faith's reply was barely audible, "Relax B... Your mom never wakes up... now shush, I'm trying to find something decent... ohhh... America's Dumbest Criminals..."

Buffy's voice got louder. "Wanna Coke?" Buffy asked, as she opened the fridge, which was in the kitchen directly beneath Joyce's bedroom.

Then Joyce heard the living room door close, and the house was almost silent again.

'Now I can sleep,' Joyce thought as she settled back into her pillow. 'Now I know the girls are downstairs watching late night television like any other teenagers.'

'Wonder if Faith knows how much this simple act of normalcy makes me feel better; or that the sounds of either the television or them patching each other up in the bathroom allows me to sleep easier.' Were her final thoughts as she began to drift off.

The next day
Sunnydale High School
The library

"What I don't get is why Jonathan doesn't create another gang..." Jesse put forward to the group around the table.

"I think after Faith staked the geek friends he'd turned, he may have been put off." Xander responded.

"We had to do something," Buffy commented, "He brought them into the school during the day. They'd eaten five students who'd gone to the basement before we even knew they were there."

"What happened?" Cordelia asked, glad for the distraction.

"It could have been a massacre." Willow informed her. "Jonathan remembered that a lot of students used to sneak into the basements to have a crafty cigarette, so they lay in wait for them. It was quite ingenius really, we weren't expecting to have to deal with vampires during the day, or on school grounds."

Cordelia turned to face Faith, "So how did you know they were there... sense them or something?"

"Hardly," Buffy smiled, "Faith was sneaking down for a cigarette herself."

Cordelia joined in the humour. "That's brilliant... bet they were shocked when they saw a Slayer."

Xander elaborated, "It was fairly soon after she moved here, think she'd only been attending Sunnydale High for a week or so. So only Jonathan recognised her... He ran to the tunnels, while the others were mainly confused as to why she was more annoyed than frightened."

"I bet they were..." Cordelia grinned as she imagined the scenario. "So Jonathan is a serious threat then... coming up with innovative methods like that."

Giles returned from his office. Taking a look at the group, he realised that not much research was being done. He coughed to announce his return. They all quickly pretended to be deep in the books. Sighing, he realised that as soon as he was gone they'd be giving research the part-time treatment. He headed back into his office.

Once Giles was out of earshot, Willow leaned over and whispered to the group. "Yeah... Jonathan's gotta be taken seriously. He's had some good teaching and has a grudge on most of the school, for what he considers a lifetime of bullying. Think he turned the other geeks in the hope that their hatred ran just as strongly. Luckily they didn't..."

"And now he's teamed up with Trick..." Faith drifted off, thinking about the vampire that had followed her across country.

"Trick..? Isn't that the vampire that organised the hunting party on the night of the homecoming dance?" Cordelia asked.

"Er... yeah. Slayer Fest 98 he called it." Buffy replied. "But how did you know? You were busy getting your Homecoming Queen title in the bag."

Cordelia gave her a look. "Ermmm... not me, remember? I was Homecoming Queen?"

Jesse leaned over to whisper in Xander's ear. "You notice how when it's a good thing it is her; but when we're making assumptions that she wouldn't know stuff cos she wasn't there, we're at fault?"

Xander grinned back at him, whispering he said. "Think it's a 'woman' thing or a 'Cordelia' thing?"

Both got slapped by their other halves. "Play nice!" Willow ordered both of them.

"Jonathan and Trick..? But Trick wasn't that... tricky in our world." Cordelia informed them.

"They've both been trained by Master Vampires and they're both modern thinkers. Mix in Jonathan's knowledge of most of this school's population and you see how they're making names for themselves." Xander explained carefully.

"Not to mention a dent in the school's population." Buffy added.

"Trick's trying to turn himself into a major player... he finds the most powerful demon around and learns from them. He's a vampire; time's on his side and he's patient. This is the sort of person who would have a ten year plan... and it won't be pretty." Faith said.

"Jonathan's only after two things... more like him, to cause hell to the rest of the school; and to turn any hot girl he can find, trying to make up for his lack of success in life by bagging himself a vampire whore."

"That's why he was going after you..." Willow expanded on her boyfriend's comments. "You're the latest one to take his fancy."

"Latest one?" Cordelia asked.

"Yeah... he turned Joy... the head cheerleader, she was his little sextoy for a while... but he got bored of her, so he staked her himself." Buffy commented.

Cordelia cringed a little at the thought of Joy and Jonathan, not a couple she could imagine happening any other way if she was honest. She turned to face Xander as he filled her in some more.

"He only wanted her cos lots of guys at the school did... lots of guys that'd picked on him at some point."

Faith shook her head, "Boy's got issues... and his demon's acting out all his little revenge fantasies."

"Wonderful." Cordelia said as she resumed reading the book Giles had given her on portals and alternate realms.

After School.
Cheerleading Practice.

Jesse and Xander are sitting on a bench, watching Cordelia and a bunch of other girls attempting to form a pyramid.

Jesse drinks from his can of Pepsi, before passing it over to Xander. "Remind me again why we stopped going to games?"

"Something to do with not liking any of the jocks, and the fact that we never win anything..." Xander said, lifting the can to his lips. Unfortunately the hole was in the wrong position, and he ended up tipping most of it down the left side of his face.

Jesse was so focused on the view in front of him, that he hadn't noticed. "Knew there was a good reason for it... maybe we should start going again?" He suggested.

"You never know..." Xander agreed, wiping his face with his sleeve. "Maybe the team's about to begin a winning streak. We should be there to support that... in case it happens."

"We might even pick up some of that school spirit stuff. You know, the one Snyder says we're severely lacking in."

"There does seem a lot of it about. Just look how enthusiastic these students are." Xander gestured towards the semi-completed pyramid.

It's Cordelia's turn to climb up into her position. Both boys lean forward and lower their heads to get a better view. Neither notice the three girls walk up from behind them.

Buffy looks at Xander and back to the cheerleaders and back to Xander again. Turning to face Willow they both then shrug simultaneously. Faith, however, is less subtle.

She sits down beside them, taking the can out of Xander's hand. Taking a big gulp, she leans forward to get the same view they have. Smiling she turns to face the boys. "So which one we looking at..?"

Jesse and Xander immediately sit back up properly. Noticing their girlfriend's raised eyebrows they offer quite pathetic grins in defence.

"Xander, you're drooling." Buffy informs him.

"It's Pepsi." He replies.

She stares at him, knowing he'll be the first to crack. "So I'm clumsy, you knew this when you started seeing me."

"And the cheerleader fetish?" She grinned.

Now he smiled right back, "You knew that about too." Buffy blushed.

Jesse notided that right away, and recognised the look in her eyes. "You dress up as a cheerleader for him?" Turning to face his own girlfriend. "You never dress up as a cheerleader for me."

Willow looked midly hurt, "But I thought you liked the horny librari..." she said aloud before realising the others could hear. She fought the blush down, her look challenging anyone to say anything.

Faith however hadn't noticed. "The librarian and the chauffeur eh?" She commented returning to a more normal seating position, gesturing to the group in front of her she added, "Cowards the lot of them... If I had to dress as a cheerleader I'd be tempted to go commando... just to see who was looking."

None of them knew how to respond to that. The looks on Jesse and Xander's faces, showed they were probably imagining it though.

"B... when you do it for the X-man do you wear anything... cos technically a cheerleading outfit is only the top, skirt and pom-poms."

Ignoring the answer, though Xander's eager nodding in her direction, led the others to guess she currently wore underwear but that might change next time they play the game, Buffy quickly changed topic. "When we sent you to invite Cordelia to this evenings meeting, we assumed you'd be bringing her back. Not staying to wait til she was finished."

"I'm with the guys on this one B... I say we wait for her... what?" She replied at their look. "I can enjoy the female form without being a lesbo you know."

"And what a form it is." Jesse automatically responded.

"Amen." Said Willow and Xander together.

"I give in." Buffy stated an sat down. "Just til they finish practice then... we're not following them to the showers or anything like that."

The only audible response was Jesse and Xander gulping very loudly.

The Library

The gang plus Cordelia strolled back into the library.

Giles greeted them as they entered the room. "You've taken your time, I was wondering if you'd gotten lost. Now as you all know I've been researching Cordelia's predicament."

They made their way to the table and sat down.

"It seems there is no such thing as a Fairy Godmother... there are however multiple types of demon that can grant wishes. However most of these require the Wisher to complete a set objective or pass a test if you prefer. As Cordelia hadn't mentioned anything similar I was assuming that probably wasn't the case."

"Probably..?" Cordelia asked.

"You may have passed them already."

Faith looked around the others, "I think I speak for everyone one in the room when I ask 'Huh?'"

"It could be that she was being tested without knowing she was being tested. But as I said this wasn't my first suspect. The only other way to move between dimensions is to cause a portal. And you also didn't mention one of those."

Cordelia shook her head. "Didn't see one... don't think I stepped through one."

"Ahhh... unfortunately, that was my first suspect."

"So what you saying G-Man?" Xander asked.

Giles continued in a far more excited tone. "That it would appear we have discovered something new. Or at the very least extremely rare, and therefore not well documented. Now please concentrate Cordelia, is there anything that happened that you may have overlooked?"

End chapter eight