June 23, 1998
Dear Ginny,
I hate you. I hate everything you stand for on the outside, everything you are from the inside out. And would you like to know why? Well I will tell you anyway, because it's people like you who make me long to vomit all over my robes.
I hate you because you were born a Weasley. Not because of what you believe in, no, not that. Those things don't matter to me. I hate you because you had a fucking choice. You had a loving family. You had friends. Your house was probably warm when you entered it, full of some delicious scent of food that was home cooked by someone who loved you. You could laugh in the hallways without being sneered at by the people in your house. You grew up any way you please. You were born with a future. And you make me sick because you take it all for granted, taking each day of that bliss that I can't touch as if it will never end.
When I was born, I had no choice. I was raised to be a Dark wizard, to join the ranks of Death Eaters, to carry on my pure-blooded family name whether I liked it or not. Everything I am was designed for me. I am no eighteen-year-old man who holds his future in his hands with the choice of what to do with it. I am a soldier, a zombie, forced to be what I am with no will of my own.
And I hate you because you couldn't see all that. With your damned cunning and insight on people, you couldn't see me for who I was. You wouldn't give me a chance. I asked you to, don't you remember? After that Quidditch game where I once again lost to Potter. I told you fairly that he flies better than me, you sneered and agreed. I asked if you could meet me this weekend to talk and you stammered, made some pitiful excuse and ran. Why couldn't you figure me out? Was I not worth it? Am I too good of an actor? Or is it you who was acting?
Well none of that matters now. The moment I was home from school I got the Mark, so nothing you could say out of guilt could help me now. I only wish that you could have helped me, could have let down your suspicions and stereotypes for that one moment and let me be your friend and then perhaps something more. You're the only one who could have helped me. I don't know why that is, but somewhere inside me I know that you could have saved me from this cursed future I now have. I would have liked to get to know you better, Ginny.
Yours,
Draco Malfoy