Love Through Jealousy

Natsue Arishima

Chapter Five: Al Bhed



He was angry. Rarely, even during his living days, had he ever felt fury such as this. Pure, unspoiled hate. For an ally. A friend. He was frightening himself. Afraid of what he was capable of doing, even for an accident. Afraid he would end up striking Wakka.

Auron gritted his teeth, clenching his fist underneath his robes. He needed to get back in control of his feelings. Damn... it was like he was a mortal again. Innocent, stupid. Emotions were nothing but trouble. Emotion killed Jecht. It killed Braska.

He pushed up his shades, making sure that they covered his eyes. Not like anyone could notice them anyway; he had chosen to guard the back of the group. But he hadn't been the only one who had decided to travel behind. Beside him, Lulu frowned. Mentally. Her lips remained frozen in place, always in their state of neutral, but he could almost sense her worry. It was rare of her to feel.

As if she read his thoughts, her crimson eyes shifted skyward. It was as close to eye-rolling as she could ever get. "Even one such as me has feelings. You've just never paid attention before. That said, I believe that I do not, though want to, add that one such as you are also capable of emotions. Why do you fear your heart?"

Her voice was her usual cold whisper, so light and nearly silent. Auron scratched his neck. He could talk to Lulu. She wouldn't degrade him, wouldn't mock him. He cleared his throat gruffly. "I've died. I'm no longer among the living. Emotion is weak."

"Weak, you say." The mage let her gaze drift onto the couple in front of them, specifically on the Al Bhed girl. Her lips curved up in a rare smile. "You've been so caught up in hiding your own weakness that you didn't examine the minds of others. Don't you realize how blind you are being? The object of your affections..." she trailed off. "Never mind."

Auron was about to question her when he caught himself just in time. He didn't need to know. That sort of information was useless to him. It was. He'd chosen to live again to destroy Sin. To fulfill his promise to Jecht. Not to fall in lo – not to experience his own selfish feelings again.

Lulu noticed his hesitation and decided against mentioning it. But when Auron continued to look doubtful, she sighed. Her Onion Knight snapped irritably as well.

"You are dead, yes," she stated thoughtfully. "You do not think that you are worth anyone's time anymore, because of that. Well, open your eyes. You're almost as dense as Wakka." A tone of exasperation. "I've loved, and I still love. I'm not afraid to say it. Chappu was everything to me. Even now, when he is obviously gone, I think about him, though I've tried to forget."

She swallowed, and her doll played soothingly with one of her braids. "I still love him, and I am just like you. Nothing more than an empty shell. I've died as well, though perhaps not in the same way."

Inside, he was shocked, though outside, the only change was in a single eyebrow. Dead? Auron looked at her, and suddenly couldn't find anything to say, realizing the depths behind her words. He could only wonder, and guess the reason behind the lifeless red eyes. She had been drained of her mind, her emotions.

"But I'm wakening again, Auron. Because I've allowed myself to feel." She smiled again, but it was hardly noticeable. "Let's just hope that it doesn't take you that long to realize it as well."

He was clueless. So much for Lulu's lecture.

---

Wakka rubbed his nose furiously, and Rikku raised an eyebrow next to him. He smiled sheepishly at her, but failed to fight back his sudden sneeze, instantly achieving the sloppiest sneeze award and causing a very wet Al Bhed to start whacking him continuously on the head.

Yuna blinked as she turned around to face her two guardians, who signed a mental truce for that split second and smiled at her, waving. And thus she missed the abuse when she turned her head away and Rikku continued her pitiless assault.

Tidus rolled his eyes.

After the beating, and when Rikku had quieted down, Wakka sighed before casually looking behind him. There she was, pale skin, ebony hair and crimson eyes. Why didn't she ever pay attention to him? Wakka sighed again, realizing how close Lulu and Auron were at the moment. Something came over him; jealousy again, perhaps; and he turned away quickly, sliding a secure arm around Rikku.

The blonde looked up at him, surprised, and when he didn't smile like he usual did, she understood. Lulu was doing something that was bothersome, was she? Rikku smirked but played along. She still remembered that small quarry between Auron and Wakka only a little ways back. Had the guardian been... jealous?

She shook her head sadly. Being optimistic was also a downside.

Rikku slowly realized that Wakka's arm was quivering slightly. She looked at it and saw the bumps. At the same time, she registered the steamy breath coming from her own chattering and blue lips.

Looking ahead of her as if to make sure that she wasn't going insane, she realized that Yuna was shivering as well, clutching her staff close to her side, and Tidus, though trying to hide it, was also freezing. A few paces to her left, Kimahri was walking with his usual posture; for a second, Rikku was tempted to try and steal his fur. But even he seemed a little chilled.

In fact, looking behind her, the only people who remained indifferent were Auron and Lulu. The Al Bhed pouted silently, wondering if Auron was warm if she could somehow jump into his arms or something.

Nah. Too risky. He'd probably end up taking her head off.

So sad, her life...

Through her chattering teeth, she managed to spit out, "Does it seem... a little chilly... to you?" Her cousin paused her steps momentarily before smiling shakily at Rikku. "We're near the lake." Not a single chatter of teeth or blue lips. Yunie... How does she do that?

Tidus put a hand on the summoner's shoulder, concern written clearly all over his face. Rikku smirked, having spotted the light blush underneath mismatched eyes, forgetting her chilled bones for that second and elbowed Wakka in the ribs. "Ow!" he exclaimed. "What was that for, ya?"

Rikku grinned as she whispered back, "Hey... Looks like someone's got a little something for Yunie."

Wakka looked at the direction where the blonde's eyes were focused and rolled his eyes. "Thought so, ya? And Tidus promised that he wouldn't lay a finger on Yuna."

"When did he promise that?" Rikku asked innocently.

Wakka rubbed his head and chose not to answer.

---

The warmth of the agency was so soothing. Wakka relaxed and shut his eyes. To sleep here, forever, in the warmth, wouldn't be a bad thing. He yawned and got a little more comfortable on the rickety chair that he was sitting on, ignoring the wood digging deep into his back.

Rikku plopped down beside him, and when he gave no implication of moving, she sighed and promptly shoved him off the chair. "Wha – hey! That's mine, ya?" he snapped, rubbing a now sore backside.

Rikku smirked down at him, curled in the previously occupied chair and Wakka groaned but let her have it. "You'd make a mean girlfriend, ya know?"

"Love ya too," she murmured, tapping him on the nose, but her eyes were serious, silently telling him to be more careful with his word choice. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Thankfully, no one was around.

Suddenly, the ground underneath their feet started to shake, and Rikku toppled off of her new prize, successfully squishing Wakka. Ignoring his groans of pain, the Al Bhed jumped to her feet and lunged towards the door, into the freezing ice and cold. Her skin turned blue within seconds. Wakka was close behind her.

From behind the agency came the unmistakable sounds of human yells, demanding and fierce in a different tongue. One that Rikku was very familiar with. She let out a small gasp before breaking into a sprint.

"Goddamn ice," she heard Wakka mutter behind her as he ran forwards too.

Her feet slipped underneath her and she slid forward. Momentarily off balance, she waved her arms around wildly before lowering herself down into a crouch. She let one gloved hand trail fingers in the ground behind her to slow herself down.

Surprisingly, Wakka possessed a quantity of grace, and easily slowed to a stop on the frozen lake.

Rolling her eyes, Rikku turned around to face the disturbance. Her jaw dropped.

---

Adjusting to the ice, Wakka looked around himself, his breath coming out in mists before him. It took a while for his surroundings to register in his mind, and when it did, fury erupted inside of him.

Yes, the gleaming glint. Clicking joints. The blitzball player shut his eyes, clenching his fists. Why... they already caused enough damage! Why were they bothering him again? No... he wouldn't let them kill this time. Once was enough.

There was no word enough to describe his hatred. His spite. He'd eagerly kill them without even flinching. Because they deserved it.

Snapping his eyes open, he glared up at the machina that towered above him, eyes nearly blazing. His brother's face flashed in his mind. Al Bhed.

Without thinking, he lunged forward, cursing and letting everyone know of his extensive vocabulary. One of his blitzballs came out of nowhere and he gripped it hard, ready to throw.

An icy hand on his arm stopped him. It was burning cold, colder than the brisk air around him. Impossibly cold. Like his arm was melting with liquid fire.

He slowly turned around and met crimson. "Lu—" Lulu...

She stepped past him. "Be careful. Don't anger them more than necessary. They wouldn't hurt us, at least not right now. Let's just wait for her answer."

Wakka furrowed his brow, shaking himself out of his daze with being in such close proximity with Lulu. "Wait, what you saying, Lu?"

The black mage stared at him, face in its never-faltering mask. Her skin blended in perfectly with the snow, causing her eyes and hair to stand out more than ever. He swallowed, faltering and feeling like a fool. If there was one thing that could describe her, it'd be a dark angel.

"I think you'll be surprised," she whispered in her low voice before turning away. He followed her line of vision in time to see a certain blonde in a state of shock, behind the quivering mass of machina. She was surrounded by a ring of men, all in identical yellow suits. They cursed at her, screaming and leering in their harsh language. Behind the blonde, a callused hand was placed firmly on a sword hilt, and eyes blazed with fury from behind a pair of shades.

Her face was pale, green eyes dead. And then she whispered, in the smallest voice, "I'm not fighting against them. They're my friends, and Al Bhed or not, I'm not betraying them."

Wakka's world shattered in shock.

---

A/N: OMG I hate my computer! I was planning to update this on July 4 as a little treat but there was something wrong with my Internet. It kept on shutting down. Grr... I eventually gave up after screaming myself hoarse. Damn computer. But anyhoo, I'm so sorry minna! Sorry sorry sorry! Thanks for waiting, too! (By the way, thank you all for your fabulous reviews! I've never gotten so many before!) But I need another favor. I started out this fic because I wanted to mainly write about a Wakka x Lulu fic, but lots of people think otherwise. Tell me what you want this story to be, and I'll try to rally up the votes in the end. Keep in mind that I might be a little biased (I did want an Aurriku and Lukka, but I'll try to be fair!) Thanks!

-Natsue Arishima