Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 probably... mainly for language.

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened? - 15/?

Sunnydale High Library.

"Angel's dead." Cordelia asked confused.

"He..." Buffy's voice caught in her throat.

Cordelia stared at Buffy, trying to decipher the reason behind her sudden bout of sadness.

Xander quickly moved to wrap his arms around his girlfriend reassuringly.

Cordelia's eyes moved across the rest of the group. Willow also looked sad, Jesse was standing beside her ready, his jaw was clenched as though he was angry at something. Finally her gaze reached Faith, who was just looking at the others for the response. When Faith's eyes met Cordelia's, she simply shrugged.

Giles came to the rescue. "Angel died. He sacrificed himself to stop Acathla." Cordelia was about to ask another question when Giles suddenly continued. "Drusilla managed to open Acathla. It was something about their bloodline... we think Acathla may have been linked to the Master at some point."

"Okay..?" Cordelia said, unsure why everyone seemed so upset. Even in her own reality, only Buffy had really been close to Angel. "So what's with the..." She used her hands to gesture the four teenagers comforting one another.

Faith stood next to Cordelia and Giles, watching as the others moved off to the side slightly.

"Once we discovered what Drusilla and Spike were planning, we moved to stop them. Unfortunately, Spike had set it up for Jonathan to arrange a little distraction at the Bronze. In the end that took longer than we'd expected. During the fight, we'd had to split the forces. By the time Angel and Kendra had arrived at Spike's warehouse, the portal was already open." He paused to look at the others and their reactions.

"We knew that it could only be opened by someone with the bloodline of Aurelius, and as such it could only be closed by such a person too." He polished his glasses.

"We do not know the full details of the fight, but we think Angel had concentrated on Drusilla. It would have made sense as Drusilla's powers wouldn't have worked quite as easily on him. Kendra had taken on Spike. She did what any Slayer was trained to do... she was willing to give her life for the sake of the planet. When Buffy had finally made it easy enough for us to handle the Bronze situation, she immediately ran off to aid her fellow Slayer. By the time she arrived however, both Spike and Kendra were gone, and Drusilla and Angel were still fighting in front of the portal. Drusilla had managed to get the upper hand and got Angel with a sword through the gut. As she was running over to help, Buffy believed she heard Drusilla shout the word Spike before diving in herself. Angel then stood up, looked at her and then threw himself into the portal. By the time Buffy had reached the spot, Acathla's portal had closed itself." He paused letting them come to terms with that info. "We don't know if it needed more of the bloodline of Aurelius than Spike had, or if Drusilla needed to be the sacrifice as she was the most likely to open it. It may have been Angel actually closed it, as he was the only one bleeding when he entered the portal; we know the blood was required to remove the sword... in the end we just don't know. What we do know is that it took the lives of two champions in order to close it."

Faith just looked shocked, while Cordelia seemed desperate to ask another question.

"It should have been me." Came the quiet voice of Buffy from across the room.

"Don't say that." Xander automatically said, tightening his hold on her.

"It should." Buffy commented. "I was the elder Slayer. If anyone's time was up, it was me... I've been living on borrowed time since you brought me back anyway."

"No B." Faith said, "You can't think like that..."

Jenny walked into the library at this point. Seeing all the faces in front of her, she asked. "What's happened?"

"We were just informing Faith and Cordelia about what happened to Kendra." Giles informed her.

"Oh." She said nodding.

Faith moved over to comfort her fellow Slayer, hugging her from the opposite side to Xander. "B... without you my life would have been shit. I'd have probably kept running... until one day Kakistos would have caught up with me."

Buffy released her grip on Xander and turned to hug Faith back. "You wouldn't... you would have been welcome here. Giles would have been your Watcher, and you'd..." Buffy drifted off.

"B. I know you mean well... but we both know that if you'd just died, then there was no way Joyce was going to let another Slayer live in her house."

"We would have arranged something." Willow stated confidently.

"It's not like I'd have been welcome at yours, Red. And Xander and Jesse's get written off immediately. Face it, I'd have remained in that motel until the bitch came along to collect me. And god knows where I'd have gone from there."

Giles considered reprimanding Faith for what she'd called Ms Post, but after all the arguments he'd had with her himself, he knew that if Ms Post could, she would have taken Faith to god knows where once she'd arrived. 'And I've often thought worse things about her myself.' Deciding he did need to calm the Slayer's down, and get them off this upsetting topic, he did comment however. "And that Ms Chase, is why Angel is not around to help us."

"Okay..." Cordelia said, staring at where Buffy was still wiping away tears and hugging Faith. "I don't know if this makes Buffy feel better or not... but in my reality. Kendra died around the same time... well a day or so earlier truthfully."

Buffy nodded, not really commenting on whether it being destiny or not made her feel better. 'I cheated destiny with Xander's help.' she figured, 'and it seems I cheated destiny in Cordelia's too.'

"But that isn't what I'm getting at." Cordelia commented. "Angel got sucked into a portal in my dimension too. But he came back... very animal-like from what I heard too."

"He came back..?" Jenny asked, a look of shock on her face.

"Yeah... what I'm saying is where is he?" Cordelia said, letting the group take that in.

Summers Household.
That Evening.

"Why do I have to watch this again?" Xander whined into his girlfriend's ear.

Buffy turned from her spot on the floor in front of him. "It's a romantic comedy... I like romantic comedies... you saying you don't want to watch it with me?" She pouted.

Xander smiled at the small woman sitting between his legs. Shaking his head at her pout, he quickly kissed her lips and answered as tactfully as he could.

"It's hardly very manly, Buff."

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "You saying you don't want me in a romantic mood..? Cos that can be arranged you know."

Xander grinned at her antics. "Buffy. You know I love your romantic moods... and under normal circumstances I love helping you to get in them... but this time... just maybe there could be other ways to have fun for the earlier part of the evening."

Buffy looked confused. "Normal circumstances?" She stared at his face, but it gave nothing away. "Soo.... what would you prefer to watch?" She asked.

"Nothing." Xander answered, looking for all intents and purposes like he had no ulterior motive. "I just thought we could go out... you know... just the two of us."

"And what's brought this on?"

Xander looked as innocent as he could, unfortunately it was a little too innocent and Buffy was getting more and more suspicious. "Everytime we go out now, we go with the whole gang. I just thought... maybe your romantic mood could be established from a night of it just being the two of us."

"We've got the house to ourselves. That is just the two of us."

"I'm not in a 'staying in' state of mind. I was thinking of taking you out... a movie or dinner... possibly dancing?" He suggested.

"I'm not saying it's not tempting, Hon." Buffy responded. "But I was hoping we'd get some us time. You know..."

She was interrupted by the sound of a car horn from outside. Suddenly it all made sense. Grabbing a pillow she began to hit him with it. "We. Are. Not. Spying. On. Faith."

Xander protected his head with his hands, "Oww... baby... Slayer strength."

The onslaught continued, "Repeat after me. Faith is going to enjoy herself."

"Faith is going to enjoy herself."

"And we will not be there to make fun of her."

"And we will not be there to make fun of her."

She stopped hitting him, and paused to look into his eyes to check his honesty. Raising her eyebrows she gestured him to continue.

"I just thought Faith would like some moral support." He attempted.

She hit him with the pillow again.

"Ow..."

"And Faith's moral support was going to consist of what exactly?"

Risking a look he opened one eye from his curled position next to the sofa. Buffy was sitting on his legs, the pillow held threateningly over his head. "Eermmm... well... the plan hadn't gone much beyond following them to the Bronze."

"And then I suppose it consisted of staying in her line of sight? And making faces, or other things that'd make her uncomfortable? How about saying things just within earshot of Slayer hearing to make her laugh or react in not so good a way?"

"Hey that's good, I completely forgot about Slayer hearing..." Then he saw the look in her eyes. "Shit." he shouted as he resumed the foetal position as the bombardment began again.

"Honey," he tried when she paused again. "It's just... Faith doesn't date... We have to make the most of this opportunity."

There was a sound of a door slamming shut upstairs, Buffy quickly placed the pillow back over his head and held him there. Unable to turn to face the stairs.

Faith got to the bottom of the stairs. She turned to look at the occupants of the living room. Xander was lying down next to the sofa and facing away from her. Buffy was straddling his legs and holding a pillow on his head.

"Asphyxiation. Didn't know you guys were into that." Faith stated as she ran out to Cordelia's car.

Now that Faith had gone. Buffy lifted the pillow off of him.

"Now I didn't get to make fun of her clothes." Xander complained, as he climbed back into the sitting position.

Buffy waited til he got comfortable then returned to her original position of sitting between his legs, leaning back against his chest. "Sweetheart... you really have no say in that department."

"You heard her... how come she gets to say stuff about us but I can't say stuff about her?"

Buffy smiled from her position on the floor. "Do I ever normally stop you two when you're teasing one another."

"No... but..."

"This was top material teasing? Yes, I know. But she's not comfortable with it at the moment. Once she is, I promise you can start all you want to."

Xander grinned, thinking of material to use.

BUffy found the remote and rewound the tape back to wear they'd got distracted.

"Have you got a pen?" Xander asked. "I know I'm gonna forget some of this stuff."

She shook her head ignoring him. "If you find one you might wanna note something else down too."

"Yes dear?" He asked, trying to sort the thoughts in his head into categories. "If it goes well... if it doesn't... if she falls in love..."

"You are not teasing her if it goes badly!" Buffy informed him.

"Don't worry... the best stuff is if she's in love anyway."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"So honey... what was your suggestion?"

"My what?" Buffy asked confused.

"You said you had a comment I could use against Faith."

"No I didn't." Buffy thought back to a minute or so previously. "Oh, I remember. I agree on the us going out alone thing. So tomorrow, you've got to take me somewhere special."

"Crap." Xander responded automatically.

"What was that?" Buffy turned around again. "You don't want to spend any time with me?"

"I never said that." Xander attempted to defend his comment.

Buffy turned back to the television and this time paused it.

"So what were you insinuating?"

This time Xander managed to reach behind him and grab a pillow of his own. "Nothing much. Just that I wanted to go somewhere tonight. Tomorrow might not be good for me."

Buffy's mouth opened a few times, doing a good fish impression. Grabbing the pillow she climbed on him again. "I'll show you what's good for you."

The Bronze.

"You sure about this?" Pete asked for the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

"It'll be fine." Scott replied from his place on the opposite side of the table.

"Just that my last relationship didn't end well..." Pete mumbled.

"That wasn't your fault." Scott told him. "I know the police gave you a hard time... but you have to remember it wasn't your fault."

"Okay." Pete answered confidently. "I'm ready for this. Ready to move on."

"Good." Scott answered, then noted Pete take a mighty swallow of his drink. "Or maybe not."

"Dutch courage. You know?" Pete explained.

"It's not alcoholic." Scott gestured to the drink. "All you're gonna do is give yourself gas."

"Dammit." Pete replied, turning to face the bar. "Think we should get an proper drink?"

"No!!" Scott shouted a little too quickly. "We won't get served."

"I'll get served." Pete informed him, glaring at a specific bartender.

"I don't think getting wasted is the best plan. Anyway, they're here now." SCott pointed at the new arrivals.

Pete turned to face where they'd just walked in. "They're here to see us?" He asked, quickly glancing back.

Cordelia was dressed in a small dark purple dress. Designed specifically to reveal just the right amount of flesh. Her companion was dressed in black leather trousers and a tight fitting red top. She'd obviously chosen it to show off her curves. "And what curves..." Pete mumbled to himself.

"Don't you want to know which one yours is?" Scott whispered before they came over.

"Can honestly say I don't mind." Pete responded, Cordelia's friend seemed to smirk at the same time. "And you said you were gonna give Cordelia another try. Make sure she isn't as bad as she was."

"Yes well..." Scott replied. "The other girl is named Faith. She may have a litt..."

"Faith... Gotcha." Pete said. "Anything else, I'll find out the old fashioned way."

By now the girls had reached their table. "Hey Scott." Cordelia stated as she arrived at the table. "Buy two girls a drink?"

Scott smiled. "Hey Cordy. This is my friend Pete." He gestured to the other guy sitting down. "Pete, this is Cordelia." he gestured to the girl who stood at his side. "And this must be her friend Faith."

Faith smiled, and shook Scott's hand. Pete stood up so he could shake hers too.

Faith turned to face the guy she'd overheard commenting on her curves. Remembering a certain line from a comic she'd read as a kid, she said her first words of the evening, smirking as she did so.

"Face it Tiger, you just hit the jackpot."

End chapter fifteen