Peter Petigrew sat at the table thinking about what he could do for the weekend with his lord and master. He made a list of all the fun things he could do with dear,ol'

Voldie.

And the list starts:

1)When ever greatly bored tell him you feel a song coming on and start to sing and dance to "The Devil went down to Georgia."

2) Buy a pony and ride it into the Death eater meeting. Play the theme song to Blazing Saddles. Then say, "Ride um cowboy." And come galloping in. Then give pony rides too random Death eaters.

3) During his plotting session run around the house and scream because he won't let you help.

4) Constantly ask him if he would care if you would die then pretend to die and see his face when you "die."

5) Ask him if he want to go shopping.

6) Pretend to be invisible and say, "I'm I here or maybe I'm over here."

7)Dress him like a thug and teach him all the word to an Eminem song.

8)Play Johnny Rzeznick, "I'm still here" to the point of insanity.

9) Invite Harry Potter over for a cup of tea.

10) Talk in your sleep about how sexy Voldmort is in his Joe Boxers.

11) Come in his room at three in the morning and ask him if he wants some coffee or what the time is.

12) Drink coffee then scream in his face.

13) Ask him if he will be your boyfriend. And when he says no cry very harassingly.

14) Be hyper.

15) When he is sleeping put his shaving cream on the floor and when he steps in it laugh.

16) When he does try to kill you kiss him and tell him how you really feel for him.

17) Ask him if he wants to make out.

18)Giggle a lot.

19) Drink coke then burp in his face.

20)Teach him how to do the Booty Call. Then when he get discouraged tell him to put more ass in it.

21) Change the Death eater uniforms to pink with yellow polka dots. Then him pink flatters his figure.

22) Ask him if he wants to frolic though the flower with the Malfoys and Snape.

23) Buy Voldmort a pair of ducky socks.

24) Blare 99.1 HFS and sing in the shower.

24) Put cornrows in his hair and tell him it brings out the inner Snoop Dogg in him.

25) Buy him a puppy for his Birthday and swear it only responds to the name Voldie poopoo.

"Done." The man said and he was very pleased.

The paper the next day:

YOU KNOW WHO HAS BEEN SPOTTED…with cornrows and a puppy?