Summary: A messenger meets his Master, some feelings are unearthed, only to be buried again with the hatchet, and a portrait reports to a spy.
Disclaimer: Insert something funny here
A/N: Okay, sorry for the length of the wait for this chapter. It's been a hectic month. But it's here, and that's what matters, right? Not a bad chapter, really. First part ROCKS! The next parts are pretty good. This chapter is part important, part filler. Enjoy! Happy Hallowe'en!
Thank you…
amura, lol. Thanks a lot, and here ya go!
blackdragonofdeath13Thanks a lot for the compliment and I hope you stay with the story!
GirlAfraid, or Kate, or Katski, or, Whatever, Thanks! So confused now….(shakes head).
GagsyWell, you're not too late, so be glad! LoL. (looks around nervously) What is with all you people and not liking HarryxGinny?! I think they're cute! LOL. But don't worry, no proposals from Harry to her in the future AT ALL. This is a SeverusxRemus fic (yippee!) so they'll be the only ones doing anything of that sort of stuff. Mostly. I get a lot of comments on Harry and Ginny being a couple, but none about Hermione and Ron….hmm….
LOL. Yes, I love that song to. It was the very first song in learned to play on an acoustic guitar, and the first one I tried my hand at with electric. Love the Beatles.
Thanks for the review and Rock On!
Lise, Thanks a lot! You're welcome for the cookies! LoL.
hipa, Thanks! Don't you worry, there'll be some 'Remy and Sev' fluff coming right up….in a while. LOL.
cdkobasiukThanks for the review, and there's more Severus in this chapter!
MajinSakuko, S'okay. Wow, I didn't know anyone would take that line that way…(grins sheepishly) I hope you know now that I meant he smiled 'happily' at it? Right? RIGHT?! LOL.
He wasn't in bed when he looked at the Dog Star, he was standing at his window, by the way. And, in all actuality, I really don't know if you can see the Dog Star at all from Hogwarts, but you can in this Fic! LOL.
Sorry about all the 'fucks'. (grins). Couldn't help it, I write a lot of curse words. They're in the middle of war and they're bitter a lot, they're going to curse. LOL. What a way of me to phrase it…
On with the Story, and HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!
Chapter Eleven: My Lord, My Sorrow, My Wonderment.
A sharp look behind a corner, bated breath, sweat trickled down the messenger's spine. His hair was matted to his brow, and his strange, buck teeth were nibbling uneasily at his lower lip.
To say he was anxious was an understatement.
Watery blue eyes peered out into the corridor, as he treaded lightly towards the door, towards his escape. He needed to be quiet, he couldn't let anyone hear him. No one. Especially not the one through the door on the other end of the hall. He shuddered involuntarily. Screw the message. He wasn't going to throw himself in the face of death. He wasn't suicidal. He reached up and brushed a lock of greasy, mouse brain hair behind his ear.
Or rat brown.
"Wait." A calm voice echoed against the peeling walls and bounced back from the high, arched ceiling straight into the messenger's heart which now resided in his throat. "Leaving so soon? Why, you just got here…"
"N-no, my Lord. I was merely going out for a breath of fresh air. It's so lovely outside, I just thought I might-"
"Save me your sniveling," The cold, high pitched voice barked out. "Come. We shall go to my study, and you shall tell me everything you saw."
"Yes my Lord, of course my Lord." The messenger bowed his head and scurried along like a rodent behind his Master. They walked to the end of the corridor, Master in front, head held high, Servant behind him, bowed low to the ground, and eyes trailing the cracks in the wood. They walked through the end door and through another in the back of the room until they emerged in a vast chamber. The walls were lined with bookcases and the center held a long table, covered in drawers and writing instruments.
To the left hand side of the room, there was a large desk, behind which was a high, wing backed chair beside a fireplace on one side, and a large window and balcony on the other. Through the cold French doors, a wolf howled and a soft, silvery mist floated past the curtains to stain the floor from the moon. The Master sat in the wing backed chair, and the Servant sat, cross-legged, on the deep green rug beside him.
"Now, tell me, my loyal, what is it that you saw?" The cold voice drifted across it's formless lips and chilled the insides of the man before him.
"Th-they seem to b-be working together on something, m-my Lord." He stuttered clumsily, reprimanding himself for so blatantly tripping over his words. "A potion, I think. It is a bit hard to tell from my position, my Lord. I can sense something between the two, but I am not sure what it is. Nothing bad, I can assure."
The cruel mouth of his Master twisted into a strange, gruesome smile. "Ahhh, so it is true that my trusted loyal can not be trusted at all. Interesting. I presume he was never a spy for me, but for that old fool, yes?" The Servant smiled with no need of asking who it was his Master was referring to. "But there is something you are not telling me, my pet. What is it? I think I know, but it will save you a certain…something…if you tell me yourself." The smile grew darker, filled with a lust that could only be relieved by blood.
The Servant's watery blue eyes widened with fear and he had to repress the urge to wrap his hands around his neck to reassure that his head was still firmly attached. "I am sorry, my Lord. I knew you would be mad. I shall never again."
An elegant, dark eyebrow was raised in disdain, "And what is it, my pet?"
"I was seen, my Lord." The Servant hung his head in shame and fear. "I was seen by my quarry while he lay in bed. I was not well hidden enough. I do not think they suspect me, though. I believe that he thinks it was mere coincidence. I did not get the chance to see the Werewolf alone, much." Before his Master could whisper admonishing words, he hurried on, "But I will do better, my Lord. Let me learn form my mistakes. Let me try again. I swear I shall do better. I swear on my life, my Lord."
The Master studied him inquisitively for a moment before nodding his head. "I shall give you one more try, my pet. But remember, never swear on something you hold dear with me, because I can assure you that you'll lose it."
The servant paled considerably, but bent down and kissed the hem of his Master's robes. He stood up, still hunched over, before he crawled over to the door. As he opened it, he stopped at the sound of his Master's voice, but did not turn around. He kept his head bowed low to the ground in respect, and fear.
"One more thing." A pause. "Do not fail me again, Peter."
"Yes my Lord."
And with the quiet shutting of a door, he was gone.
Severus woke up near dawn and shook the covers off his lean frame. Dragging himself off the bed and towards his closet, he picked out a clean set of his repetitive teaching robes and languidly undressed from his nightclothes. He looked down at his boxers disdainfully before he headed over to his chest of drawers near his bedside. He pulled out the third one down from the top and rummaged around until he found a pair of fresh ones that matched his mood.
They were black, as usual, as that colour normally matched his mood. Dark.
He pulled his worn ones off, and slipped into the clean, before he pulled his other clothes onto his body and stepped in front of the mirror.
He didn't cringe at his reflection, but he wasn't exactly happy about it either. He fingered his nose and scowled. He had always liked his forbidding appearance, but now, he wasn't so sure. Now, he wondered if it was hindering his handsome gay Potions Partner from noticing him.
Oh God.
He knew he shouldn't be thinking about him in any more than a mutually platonic way. But he was already fucked up and he knew it. He was far beyond recovery now. Well, for the time being.
He tried to think of him in some kind of unlikeable situation.
Remus in his wolf form. Long, sharp teeth and claws, growling, drool falling from his lips. He shivered at the thought in disgust. But then, much to his chagrin, he got a strange, twisted mental image of Wolf Remus sitting on the floor of his chambers, wagging his tail, and wearing a collar and dog tag in Slytherin colours.
Shit.
Not Good.
He shook his head in self anger and headed out of his chambers. He walked through the nameless corridors of Hogwarts and headed for the Entrance Hall. So tired, was he, that he did not hear the soft pitter-patter of tiny feet behind him. Not even the sound of his shoes against the stone floors could have drowned it out. But then again, if he did notice he probably would have passed it off as a cat, or a pet rat of one of the students now that the new Term had started.
Big Mistake.
He passed the portrait of his father without even recognizing him there (regardless of the fact that Dane had glared at him and emitted a sort of animalistic growl), and passed through the last dungeon corridor and up the last flight of stairs. As he opened the door and stepped into the Entrance Hall, he winced at the sudden change of light and colour. He took half a second to regain his bearings, before he turned and headed across the Hall.
He did not pass the double doors into the Great Hall, as it was much to early for that yet. He took another flight of stairs and walked down them until he came to a corridor lined with portraits of different food groups. When he reached the portrait of the bowl of fruit, he reached over, and tickled the pear. It opened up and he stepped languidly into the kitchen, his face a mask of stone.
Immediately he felt several eyes upon him. He looked up, expecting to only see House Elves, but was shocked to see a man sitting at a table in the back and watching him closely, with a mite of surprise.
"Good Morning, Severus. Didn't expect to see you here." The man said, albeit with an air of hesitation.
"Same to you." Severus replied grumpily. He was saved the effort of appearing good-natured by a House Elf approaching him and asking for what he wanted.
The man, Remus Lupin, sighed and shook his head. He had awoken early, feeling comforted and drowsy, and thinking about Severus. But thinking about the Potions Master, brought back an internal remainder. Work, Dungeons, 10 o'clock, Snape. Then came the inevitable "Oh No…." and the guilt. He had completely forgotten about going to work with Snape after all that had been running through his mind after Harry had left his quarters. He had gotten up, dressed, and headed down to the Kitchen for breakfast instead of going to the Great Hall later, in hopes of not having to face Severus until later on in the day. He hadn't counted on Severus getting up early for breakfast too.
After Severus had placed his order, he looked around, and saw Lupin waving his hand for him to sit at his table. He walked over and pulled up a chair, before placing his head in his hand and his thumb along his jaw, waiting for an explanation. He watched Remus fidget, and almost laughed with glee when he saw the worried look that was cast his way as he arched an eyebrow.
Remus took a deep breath, and figured it was now or never. "I'm sorry I didn't go to work with you last night, I forgot." So that wasn't the best way to put it, but it was good enough, right?
Severus felt something sink in the pit of his stomach bit his face did not waver. He forgot about him? Was he that unimportant that it just completely slipped his mind? He felt sick. He knew that there was probably more to the story, but he didn't care. He knew he should have never of fallen in love with the stupid werewolf.
Wait a second….love?
He snorted out loud at that outrageous misconception of his 'hurt little mind', and Remus immediately took it a different way. His face hardened and his chin lifted up a fraction.
"I'm sorry, okay? I just had some other things on my mind."
Severus growled mentally. Yeah, right. "Like what, Lupin."
This is really none of his business. "Harry came to see me last night. I just got preoccupied."
Snape's eyebrows automatically disappeared into his hairline and his mouth dropped open. What the fuck? "You…you and Harry…but I thought…" he choked on his words.
Remus groaned as he realized what he had said. "No, not like that Severus! You know Harry is dating Ginny Weasley!"
Severus visibly relaxed, but only a bit. "Then why were you so…um…preoccupied?"
Remus glared. This guy just wont leave well enough alone, will he? What does it matter to him? "He came to me about Sirius. We talked. That's it, Severus. I just got thinking afterwards and I fell asleep eventually. I woke up this morning and realized. Sorry."
"Black?" Severus wondered, genuinely curious. "Is he still grieving over that mangy mutt?"
"How can you not?" At Severus' snort, Remus continued haughtily. "Just because you didn't like him, doesn't mean that no one else did. When you lose someone you love, it's hard to forget them. But you wouldn't know that would you? You don't feel. And even if you do, you don't recognize it." He paused, but hurried on when Severus opened his mouth to retort. "You know, that's your problem, Severus? You won't open up, not even to yourself. Your just this cold, hard, emotionless shell. You wouldn't know what it's like to love, you've avoided it all your life. Hell, I bet you've never felt anything other then cold hard lust. You're disgusting."
Severus stared, shocked, unable to speak. His throat felt like it was constricting, and his stomach wouldn't drop back down. This wasn't good…
"And that's the thing," Remus carried on, "People love you. People care for you. People care for you a lot, Severus. But you don't care for them. You're so bloody afraid of rejection that you won't let anybody in. I would give anything, for once in my life, to see you happy. That's all I ask." Remus winced. No matter how hard he tried to mask his feelings for the stupid Potions Master, they always slipped out somehow. What on Earth would Severus say if he knew he cared for him?
But the question remained unbidden in Remus' mind; How much did he care? He looked up at the obsidian eyes in front of him and felt a rush of warmth and….something. Then he noticed what those eyes held and he felt something between sick elation, and devastation.
Flat out Sorrow and Pain.
Severus stood up and walked to the door. Before he opened it, he turned around and looked back at the handsome Wolf. He felt so confused inside. He felt happy, because now he knew that Remus must feel something a little more then platonic towards him. If he didn't, why would he care so adamantly about whether he cared for people or not? But he also felt sickened and pained, knowing that the Wolf was right. He never loved, and never let himself be loved, because he knew that it would end bad. Didn't it always? Well, it did with all his bloody fucking relatives. And what of his friends? Hmph. What friends?
Even if Remus did feel the same way for him, as he did to Remus, it would do no good to make something out of it. Better safe then sorry. For the first time in his life, since a long time, he felt almost like crying. It wasn't a big deal, really, he tried to tell himself, it's just some silly attraction. Or he hoped it was…
He looked at the Wolf sadly, who was watching him intently, holding his breath, "You don't know who I care about, or what I feel, Remus. And bless Merlin for that." He sighed and walked away, leaving Remus to feel completely bewildered and wondering…wondering if there might be a chance that…
"Is Master Severus not going to have his Breakfast?"
Remus blinked and looked down at the little, wide eyed Elf. He laughed, despite himself.
"Guess not."
The rest of the day was long, and lousy. Remus did his teaching, ate his meals, talked to the Trio, and avoided Snape. He knew he needed to talk to him, needed to patch things up between them, but he kept making lame excuses as to why he couldn't.
Eventually, after all the lessons had finished, and he was walking back to his quarters after Dinner, he came across the one and only, Snape.
Yippee.
They stopped walking in front of each other and Snape looked down at him with that horribly bland expression. Remus worked his throat for a minute before he finally felt it all tumbling out of him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those things to you. I was just tired, cranky, hungry, and stressed out. It wasn't my place. If you don't want to forgive me, I understand, but keep in mind that we still have to work together. Can we just forget about it?"
Severus felt a strange form of disappointment. He automatically thought, 'Well, there goes my chance with him…' but quickly reprimanded himself, telling himself that he wouldn't have taken the chance regardless….sort of… "Oh all right, Lupin. No big deal. It wasn't any worse then what Albus puts me through. You're forgiven." He rolled his eyes like he was talking to a child, and Remus grinned. "Speaking of work…"
Remus groaned. Severus, feeling slightly giddy (which was not a good thing, in his opinion) laughed.
Remus was pleasantly surprised at the almost unfamiliar sound of his deep, throaty laugh and he felt an unbidden surge of warmth again. He pushed it down and grinned. "Well, since we missed our work period yesterday," He grinned sheepishly, "How about we get to work now, so that we can make up for it?"
Severus grinned. "My, my, Lupin. I didn't know you were so enthusiastic about working with me." Remus laughed nervously, and Severus, feeling quite unlike himself, winked at him before turning and leading the way down to the dungeons.
Remus took a couple seconds to recuperate, unsure if he should take Severus to the Hospital Wing or not to check up on his mental state, before he headed off after the swishing, shadowy cloak of the Potions Master, resisting the urge to jump him and kiss him.
He had to repress that urge a lot lately.
Dane Snape sat in the portrait of three snakes that was erected on the wall of his son's laboratory, watching as he and the Half Human worked together, lightly touching each others hands inconspicuously and blushing afterwards. He grinned maniacally and ignored the hissing of the snakes beside him.
He had always dreamed of the day when he could finally expose for certain the true loyalty of his son. Now that he had deduced that he and the beast were working on a potion to cure Lycanthropy, he knew he was no longer a loyal to the Dark.
He had also deduced that they weren't very far along, and some minor facts about the Werewolf himself.
The Dark Lord would be pleased.
Having completed his task he moved back to his original portrait in the Dungeon hallway. He looked down at the small animal beneath him with disdain and told him of his findings. When he finished he smiled cruelly and spoke once again,
"The Dark Lord will not be pleased if he finds out that you are now getting me to do your spy work for you. I might find a way to get this tidbit of information to him if you do not keep your promise." He laughed maniacally. "Remember, little friend, tell him that when he comes for his Bond, to take me with him as well!" He laughed again as he watched the furred creature scurry off into the shadows and down the hall.
"Good Luck, little Peter."
A/N: Okay, short chapter, i know. Sorry about the little fight and insecurity between or two favourite Potions Partners, but i assure you, it'll turn into something VERY Good. REVIEW and NO FLAMES! Thanks!