Memories and Differences
By the Rurouni Idoru

Yukina cuddled the small child in her arms. Kousetsu, his mother, had decided to name him Shimo, not that it would matter. Shimo...such a sweet name, for such a sweet baby. It was hard to believe that this child was the cause of such an uproar. Hard to believe that he was a "forbidden child." He certainly seemed like no threat, sleeping peacefully as he was. Yukina smiled at him.

"He's adorable," she cooed to Kousetsu, never taking her eyes off of his pudgy little face.

"Of course he is," the older koorime said coldly, "All newborns are. But he...he is a vile monster in disguise. He needs to be destroyed." Yukina looked up in sorrow. Obviously, there was none of the compassion in this woman that there was in her mother and Rui. There would be none of Kousetsu's hiruiseki to protect him from certain death. This child...Shimo...was going to die. An hour had passed since Kousetsu's trial. Yukina had no intention of watching a panel of koorime agreeing with the decision of killing an infant. "I have errands to run. And then, we'll rid the island of this abomination later." Kousetsu got up and walked to the door. "Watch him while I'm gone." And with that, she left. Yukina looked down sadly at the baby. He was stirring. He quietly yawned, and opened his eyes to look at Yukina for the first time. His big, clear, blue eyes stared up at her. She gasped in amazement. Such lovely eyes....

"Poor thing...." She found herself staring into those eyes. And that was when she found something amazing. She could see all of the males she'd grown close to! Right there in his eyes! She began recalling fond memories of them...

Bara had taken Yukina on a shopping trip, where they'd run into Yusuke. Yusuke was buying something Bara kept calling a water ice, and Bara quickly decided that she wanted one.

"Buy me one!" Bara demanded to Yusuke, as if it were her due for all the trouble she endlessly caused him.

"No!" he spat back. But Bara was prepared to throw a tantrum like that of a five year old, right there at the food court.

"But Yu-uu-uu-suke! I just wasted the last of my money on this adorable shirt I found, and no place I went shopping today gives out refunds, and I want one REALLY BAD!" If this was annoying to the other people in line, none of them knew Bara. Yusuke, however, recognized that this was but a warning sign of just how bad she could get. Sort of like how a skunk will give off certain signs to back off before it sprays you. Since he knew that Bara refused to let him win this battle, Yusuke sighed.

"Fine. But nothing expensive." Bara began dancing, and loudly debating with herself which flavor she wanted. Yusuke's deflated demeanor disappeared as he turned to Yukina, who was strangely confused. "You want one too?" He smiled at her. Yukina paused, then nodded.

"I suppose, if it's not any trouble." Yusuke smiled again, and turned back around to face the direction of the line. Yukina thought that it was so nice that Yusuke would offer to pay for her too, when she hadn't even asked. Maybe it was because he thought that if he was going to empty his wallet, why not go all out? But maybe it was just an act of kindness that couldn't be explained. Either way, Yukina was sure that Yusuke was certainly a good seed.

On another occasion, a lovely spring day, Yukina had been sent on a shopping trip to pick up some milk or something, she couldn't quite remember, and she had passed by Kurama's house. She saw him out front, trimming flowers from some bushes. He called out to her.

"Good morning, Yukina-san!" She turned to him and smiled.

"Good morning, Kurama-san! What are you doing there?" He turned to her fully, leaving his work behind him and a bunch of flowers in his hand.

"Trimming the flower bushes. Mother says the garden's getting out of control," he said, smiling. He turned around slightly to look at his unfinished handiwork. "I suppose she's right." He laughed a bit. "There's so many even I don't know what to do with them anymore. Mother's got all of her vases out, all over, and they're all stuffed with flowers...." He sighed. Yukina practically read his mind.

"It's a shame to see such lovely flowers go to waste like that, though." Kurama nodded. He suddenly seemed as if he were struck with an idea. He handed over the bunch of flowers to Yukina, and slightly shifted them around to make them shaped nicely like a bouquet.

"Here. You take them." Yukina was apprehensive at first.

"Are you sure, Kurama-san?" Kurama smiled yet again.

"Of course, I have nothing else to do with them. I'm sure you could find a nice place for them. Just...try not to tell Hiei about this? He'd be horribly angry with me." Yukina nodded and smiled in return.

"I'll try. Thank you." She decided that Kurama was certainly quite a gentleman if she had ever met one, and he would continue to be, at least as far as she was concerned.

And then there was the subject of Kazuma. He was always so kind and gentle to her, and treated her, not like a princess, not like a queen, but like a goddess on Earth. She remembered once, there was an event called a dance, although Yukina was sure that dance was something you did, not something you went to, and Kazuma asked her if she would go with him. Of course, she gladly accepted, and he was overjoyed. The night of that dance, her female friends, being as spontaneous as they were, decided to "fix her up." This, of course, confused Yukina, as she was sure she wasn't broken, but it turned out that they meant they wanted to give her new clothes and paint her face and make sculptures out of her hair. She didn't mind any of this, of course, and in the end she thought she looked quite nice, but there was one problem: the shoes. It wasn't that the heel was too high or too thin to walk in, it was that Yukina wasn't used to them. It took a few tries walking around the room before she could keep her balance and not trip over her puffy skirt. Granted, they didn't become comfortable, but they would work, Yukina supposed. It was when they got to the dance, of course, that the shoes became important. After Kazuma taught her the basics of dancing, which, she discovered, were fairly easy, she was soon dancing to every song. After about a half an hour, she began to look slightly pained.

"Are you okay?" Kazuma asked her. She sighed and smiled up at him.

"It's just these shoes," She said, sticking one foot out from under her billowing dress. "They're lovely, but they're starting to hurt my feet." Kazuma briefly considered this, and then asked her a question, looking very serious.

"Do you still wanna dance?" Yukina smiled brightly.

"Well of course! I'm having a wonderful time, it's really only the shoes that are the--" Before Yukina could utter another word, Kazuma had lifted her up and started dancing with her again.

"Now your feet won't have to hurt." She struggled for what to say. Finally, she smiled.

"Thank you, Kazuma." She decided that Kazuma was among the nicest creatures she had ever met, youkai, animal, or human, male or female.

Of course, Hiei was just as important as the rest, if not more so. Memories of her brother flooded Yukina's mind. When Tarukane captured her, Hiei came to her rescue, and then spared Tarukane simply because she had asked him to. When everyone was playing cards at the Ankoku Bujuustukai, and he just had to try his best to get along with them, and deal with the fact that human amusements were the only means of entertainment. When he left for the Makai, and gave her his teargem. The day she found out that Hiei was her long-lost brother. All those times he would try to protect her from everyone and everything, including Kazuma, although Yukina didn't understand why. Millions of little things. How he'd actually dish out the sweet snow for her, and forbid anyone else from touching it. The look he gave Kazuma when he picked her up so she could keep dancing, even with sore feet. How he would use words and sentences with her when only a "hn" seemed to be suitable for everyone else to hear from him. How it seemed that she could make him smile when everyone else made him want to kill. There was so much about Hiei that she was glad for. So many reasons why she was happy he'd survived that fall. And all of them were reflected in Shimo's clear blue eyes.

A startled Yukina was brought back to reality by a small coo from Shimo. There was nothing wrong with males...It was simply that they were unnecessary to the koorime. They weren't all dangerous. They weren't all bloodthirsty. They weren't all cruel. Of course, there were some evil males, but there were some women who were just as bad. If they were raised right...If, for even a moment, they had hope, happiness, love...they tended to turn out fine. It was the ones who were unloved, unwanted, unhappy, who turned out evil. They were the ones who became a threat to the koorime. And that was what they wanted to make Shimo, if he lived? They didn't understand, did they? They didn't realize that if he were raised properly, he wouldn't be a threat, but a valuable ally, especially if he was raised by the warrior koorime. It would take everyone a while to accept him, but after then, surely he'd be loved...right? Either way, Yukina wasn't going to just stand by and let him get killed. Shimo gave off a confused little gurgle, and suddenly, Yukina was moved to determined tears.

"You'll be alright. Yukina-san will make sure you're alright." Shimo giggled and caught one of the falling hiruiseki. He examined it curiously, as if looking for its face. Yukina wiped her eyes. That was when Kousetsu returned.

"Yukina?" she ventured, not stepping all the way inside. Yukina had her back to the door, and quickly wiped her eyes again. She swallowed hard, and replied with the only word that seemed to be able to fit out of her throat, which felt closed in failed determination not to cry.

"Yes?" Shimo dropped the hiruiseki into his own lap, and began to play with a lock of Yukina's hair.

"Bring the child outside. After I'm sentenced by the Elders, it will be time to get rid of it." Yukina rapidly turned around, making sure to be careful of the baby.

"You're going to throw Shimo off of the island now?" Kousetsu seemed unmoved.

"Not now, but soon. Say your goodbyes, Yukina." That said, she turned and left again. Yukina sat with Shimo, horrified. It was time? Already? She hadn't thought out a plan yet! She would just have to do the only thing left. Shimo stared up at her expectantly. Yukina looked down sadly at him.

"You can't cry, okay?" She picked him up so that they were at eye level with each other. She continued to speak as if what she told him would make any difference. "I know it's scary, but you have to be brave. It'll be over soon." She closed her eyes and held him close as he made a confused little noise. "I promise."