Disclaimer: If I do own PoT, I won't be pulling my hair out for waiting each episode to be released!
Summary: They only knew me because of what they saw. A 'powerful' mask. But they didn't know that behind it, there was a great worry deep down in my heart. A worry named Echizen Ryoma…
Pairings:? x Ryoma
This fic is beta-ed by clari-chan 'hugs' for her :-)
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Worry 1 – The Cracking Mask
I was always able to handle everything, especially problems that dealt with people. It wasn't rare that even my friends came to me asking for help or advice, which I would do in my own 'unique' way, they said. I was famous not just because of that, but also my amazing tennis skill which made me a very tough opponent to face. Many girls and boys either swooned or were in awe every time they saw me on and off the court. Even my teammates regarded me in many different ways; most of the ways they regarded me were out of either fear or admiration. They 'know' me as an amazing person with insuperable cunning, but he was the only one who saw me with something else; rivalry, determination that one day he would become stronger than me, and unexpectedly… understanding.
He was the only who thought that I was just the same as others. He understood well enough the pain I felt which I always hid behind my mask. That's probably the reason I worried with or about him yet it also made me fall for him. Since the first day I saw him, I often locked my gaze upon him whether I realized it or not. He was someone who could attract my attention, hell even others'. But I'd never thought that he'd be able to see through my mask the whole time. People tended to say 'he cares for nothing in this world except tennis'. But they were wrong, foolishly wrong. I still remembered that faithful day where my mask was cracking and failing completely…
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I was looking at the darkening sky, strangely I felt extremely lonely today. I didn't know why! Only sadness and loneliness were my companions. But I was not even able to bring myself to cry. Crying was probably the only thing I never experienced before. Not that I couldn't, I just simply didn't want to do it. I believe it was a sign of weakness, that's why I have this mask the whole time, to 'show' the world that I was strong as many people around me depending on me.
"I've never seen you like this before!" Startled I turned around only to find a dark-green haired boy who had been haunting my mind lately; he stood not too far from me. "What's bothering you?"
I put my mask quickly back on its place, "Saa… What are you doing here, Echizen, at this time?" I didn't answer his question. I couldn't.
He just stood there for a while with his big curios golden eyes still staring at me. Oddly, I felt very uneasy under his scrutiny.
"Betsuni", he shrugged then seated himself next to me under a tree in a deserted park and I was quite aware about our situation. My heart was beating fast and I did my best to control myself.
"It's alright you know!" his remark made me turn my head only to have to stare into those golden orbs. The red sun made them as piercing as ever. He saw through my mask and bore deep into my soul. And the worry that has been haunting me became greater to the point it was suffocating me. My mask began to crack, shattered and fell piece by piece.
"You're only human too!" he whispered in the most caring and understanding tone I had ever heard.
With that, I couldn't hold it back anymore. I looked away from him. I clutched my fist tightly into a fist in the green damp grass.
"Aaa…" that's what I managed to say.
In that comfortable silence, I finally found peace and felt utterly content despite the sadness and pain all the time before. Loneliness washed away, a silent companion which spoke million words of comfort to my heart.
Probably, probably just this once… only this time. I took my mask off and silent tears trailed down my cheek.
After that he didn't say anything, neither moved away nor towards me. He just sat there, right besides me, watching the sun disappeared in the far horizon.
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Echizen Ryoma…
Why did I care about you in the first place? I don't know!
When did you steal my heart? If I knew; do you think I would be wondering like this?
Since when has this feeling overpowered me? After that day, I couldn't even stop thinking about you!
Do you feel what I feel? No, I don't think you do.
Is this LOVE? No! It's impossible for someone like me to fall in love.
Why am I so sure it isn't love I have for him? Because love isn't supposed to make you worry. It is supposed to make you happy. That's the philosophy of LOVE that I knew.
But haven't you proven that wrong? Yes, I have.
I laughed at the irony I was in, this was the first time I had had so many questions yet there were no right answers.
But… Why can't I take my eyes off you? Why am I always looking for your presence?
Just like now, I was looking at the object of my affection, my desire, and my obsession. The boy was taking a nap under a tree. As usual his cap was lowered hiding most parts of his beautiful face and those feline eyes. Finally, I was able to take my eyes off of him when someone stood in front of me, blocking my whole view from my Ryoma. Wait! My Ryoma! Hell, what's wrong with me?
"Something's troubling you?" Or someone.
"Iie, Inui." I faced him with my usual mask.
"You've been dozing off during practice many times lately", he pinched the bridge of his glasses, "And you've been staring at Echizen longer than necessary."
I frowned inwardly and for the first time since I knew the taller boy, I cursed him for being such an observant data-man.
"It's nothing, Inui. I'm just thinking about something lately."
"About Echizen." Can Inui see now through my mask too?
"It's none of your concern, Inui!" probably hearing the finality in my tone which I seldom did, he didn't press any further.
"If you say so", he sighed.
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Later that day after practice, I saw Ryoma being glomped by the forever cheerful Eiji and Momoshiro. I gritted my teeth asa sudden rush of anger and jealousy ran through my body. I wanted to join them too if that let me be near him. I wanted to hold him tightly in my arms feeling the pulsating warmth of his body against mine and his soft peaceful breathing against my chest. But I knew, it'd look a bit awkward since I never went to the 'burger joint' with them… still I wanted it… badly.
I'd never be as close to Ryoma like them or even like HIM, who has his own mask like me. I knew; I could see it; Ryoma always looked at him with such tremendous indescribable feelings, different than anything he gave to others. He was the only one who made me worry about losing for the first time in my life.
Suddenly, he looked up at me. Golden sparkling eyes locked with mine. I felt my breath caught in my chest, he smiled faintly before he turned to his senpais, who were excitedly calling him, and left. Leaving me breathless as my mind whirling in chaos. Those eyes always made me lost like bottomless pools. That rare smile always poured warmth into my cold soul.
I… I can't let myself stay like this forever! I must come up with something, anything! That can make Echizen Ryoma mine. All mine…
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Okay, I know this is short but next chapter will be longer (I hope) Well… now guess who this person is? And will his worry become real or…? And yup Ryoma's kinda hitting on him, you all will know why in the later chapter. Ja and review... minna!