Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 probably... mainly for language.

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened?? - Chapter 19

The Next Day.
2 P.M.
Sunnydale High School Library.

Xander was bored, he was flicking through his fifth book of the day. Turning to his right, he saw Jesse in a similar state of mind. "Hey bud. You got any further info other than it's in here somewhere..?"

Jesse looked up, glad of the distraction. "I know what you mean, I don't think my brain can take in any more information about demons..." He commented, using his fingers to lightly rub his temples.

"We've been at it for hours now... there's no way we can read every book in this place within a week, never mind a day."

"I can't believe she skipped out after an hour's work." Jesse said, "It was her idea."

"It was nearer to two. She said her parents needed to run some stuff past her." Xander explained. "And I can't blame her for taking a few hours off... hell, I'd consider it if my parents had wanted me to do something."

"Now that's desperation." Jesse stated, thinking about it. "What could your parents possibly need you for anyway..?"

Xander sighed, "Probably a beer and liquor run if they couldn't be bothered to fetch it themselves. You know what they're like." He added quietly so that the others wouldn't hear.

Jesse perked up at that last piece of information. "Where can you go that'll serve you round here..?"

"My dad sorted something out with this guy he knows... if I go to his shop and order the sort of stuff my parents drink, he always assumes its for them." Xander mused it over. "Actually he may just not care anyway..."

"So how come we didn't fetch any booze for your eighteenth... or mine for that matter..?"

"Mine was held at Buffy's... I didn't want Joyce to know I can get my hands on any."

Jesse looked at him, "Are you telling me you'll sleep with her only child, but you won't have a drink in her house..?"

"I never said I was a saint... I'm just trying to avoid turning out like my parents."

Jesse smiled back. Knowing the full story, neither felt the need to expand further.

They were interrupted by Willow who had arrived out of the stacks behind them, leading Buffy who was unable to see over the giant pile of books she was carrying.

They looked up on the raised platform to see Buffy struggling to keep them all balanced. Willow carefully led her over to the stairs and instructed her when she got to the top of them.

"Okay... stop." Willow said, "Now... step."

Buffy lifted her left leg and aimed it slightly in front and downwards. Once she felt it was secure she moved her other leg next to it.

"Step." Willow repeated. "Step. Step. Step." Pausing between each word to wait for Buffy to move downwards.

Xander watched this with eyes wide open. "Honey, why are you carrying like four hundred books when Willow has five..?"

"Step." Came Willow's voice again.

"Apparently they're heavy." Buffy responded, concentrating on where she was placing her feet.

"She has Slayer strength. And there's only twenty seven." Willow stated, assuming that explained everything. "Step."

"That doesn't mean you get to test the limits of it." Buffy stated, trying to find the lower step with her right leg.

"Sweetie, we would have helped." Jesse offered, standing up intending to remove the top couple from Buffy's pile.

"Sit down." Willow told him. "Step." She instructed Buffy, then turning back towards the others she started waggling her finger. "I know if either of you get up, I'll never get you to start reading again."

Jesse reluctantly did so, casually turning the page without glancing at it.

"Can you stop saying Step," Xander asked. "It's driving me nuts... can't you just tell Buffy she has three more to go before she reaches the floor and leave it at that."

Willow glared at him, "Stop watching us and get back to work."

"Baby, there is no earthly way we can read an entire library in a day." Jesse tried to reason with her.

"We don't have to read all the books... just the mystical ones." Willow corrected him.

They all turned their attention to the sudden crash where Buffy had slightly over-judged a step and managed to drop the top half of the pile while attempting not to fall herself.
"See my step plan was working fine." Willow said, glaring at Xander.

Buffy placed the remains of the pile on the other end of the desk. Then she and Willow started placing the fallen books on the desk too.

"Not there." Willow corrected her, moving the last few books Buffy had placed down, and moving them over to the other side of the table.

"Why..?" Buffy asked.

"They're the books we've already checked. This is the 'To Do' pile and this is the 'Done' pile." Willow said, indicating each in turn.

"I didn't know that." Buffy commented.

"What did you do with the ones you read then?" Willow asked with an accusatory glare.

Buffy pointed at the haphazard pile in the centre of the table. Willow picked them up and moved them to the Done pile. "And what have you been doing with yours..?" She asked the two guys.

They both indicated the piles next to their feet.

"That's not the system." She informed them. "To Do. Done. To Do. Done."

Xander sighed and closed the book he was attempting to read. Concentration gone for the time being. He placed his head on the table and started lightly batting the back of it with the book he was holding.

"Will... honey," Jesse began, taking his attention away from Xander's actions. "There isn't enough room on the table for the system."

"We need to keep the piles seperate so as not to duplicate effort." She informed them. "This is only the second batch, the system cannot break down by the end of the second batch." she said handing out books to everyone. "Only eleven more batches and we're halfway there." She finished happily.

"The first batch took us four hours." Buffy said in disbelief. "We're still going to be here over Christmas at this rate."

"All the more reason to stop arguing and work faster."

"I haven't finished my first batch yet." Jesse complained, looking at the seven books she'd just added to his remaining pile.

"I read the most." Willow instructed them, "I finished mine and then moved onto the remains of Cordelia's."

"But even Buffy only just finished her first batch. Face it, the rest of us just aren't as academically inclined as you are." Jesse tried.

"You're doing better than Faith," She said, pointing at the largest pile on the table. "Where is Faith by the way..?"

The library doors swung open as Faith strolled in carrying a handful of Cokes. "Caffeine for the workers." She said handed them around.

Xander stopped hitting himself on the head and discarded the book onto his read pile. Taking the can offered he opened it and took a large gulp. "Ahhh... nice."

Willow turned to face Faith, "We need to keep working... unscheduled breaks don't help."

"But they do keep us sane, Red." Faith replied.

"We just need to work faster." She informed them.

Xander sighed and leaned to whisper to Jesse. "She thinks we're gonna find something today, doesn't she..?"

Jesse shrugged, and began flicking through pages quicker. Giving each page a brief glance before turning over.

Willow glared at him but didn't say anything. Promising to remember that if they hadn't found anything by the time they were done that she'd have to double check Jesse's again. And probably Xander's and Faith's too.

The library doors opened for the second time. This time it was Giles, Jenny and Ms Post who entered.

"Hoorah... we're saved, the professionals are here." Xander shouted, getting giggles from both Buffy and Faith.

"Have you found anything yet..?" Ms Post asked, heading directly over to the table.

Jenny handed Giles her coat before heading over herself, while Giles placed their coats in his office.

"Nothing so far." Willow answered for the group.

"Right then," Ms Post replied, heading into the stacks to collect a section of books for herself.

Faith leaned towards Buffy, waiting til Ms Post had disappeared she commented. "Never thought I'd be glad to see that bitch."

Jenny sat down at the table, "Okay..." She replied, taking the top two books off Faith's pile. "Let's see what we've got."

Several Hours Later.
Early Evening.

Giles, Jenny, Willow and Gwendolyn were still at the main table in the library searching through books. By this point the table had become extremely full with various books lying open at odd pages. Jesse was lying face down in a book, on top of some others, Willow glanced his way every few minutes to ensure that he wasn't drooling on any of Giles's priceless books. The others had spread around the room in order to find space to read and concentrate. Xander was strolling around the room trying to avoid any more reading.

"Does anyone else feel the need for a sugar rush..?" He asked those around him.

"Doing a donut run, Xan..?" Faith asked, popping her head from behind the counter where she'd been sitting with a book on her lap, having carefully chosen that space as the Watchers wouldn't be able to spot her from there. "Mind if I tag along..?"

Giles looked up from where he was reading. "You've both just returned from a meal. You cannot seriously be hungry already."

Buffy smiled from where she'd been lying on her front on the counter, a book spread out open in front of her. "They probably can... you've never seen two people eat as much as they do."

"We've still got lots of books to check." Willow commented, trying to mentally keep a track of those she thought had been read properly and those that may have only been glanced at due to failing attention spans.

"It's getting dark, Will." Xander informed her, pointing to the small window on the upper level. "We've been at this since just after we got up. We'll still have some more to read tomorrow."

Giles took a look around at the piles of books, "We'll need to get the library tidied up before we leave."

"It'll interfere with the system." Turning to Jesse, she shook his shoulders to wake him up, when he started to respond she ordered him, "Tell them not to interfere with the system."

Buffy looked around at the various books that seemed to be multiplying in various piles around the room. There were books in Giles' office, some in the weapons cage. Just about every flat surface had been used as a storage area. "There's still a system..?" She found herself asking before she realised the implications of her statement.

"Yes!!" Willow responded. "I've been trying to keep a track of where everyone was dumping their finished books so that I knew what piles had been read and which hadn't."

"Really..?" Jesse asked, wiping sleep out of his eye.

Willow pointed at each person as she mentioned them, "Yours are still piling up by your chair; Buffy continued to use the centre of the table even after I asked her not to, then she moved to get more comfortable which involved a few books in the office, when she returned from her meal she dropped them on this side of the counter where she'd chosen to locate; Faith took eight books behind the counter and I don't know what happened to them since then; Ms Post adopted the original 'Done' pile, until it collapsed and then she started placing them on the floor beneath the table; Giles and Jenny continued to use Buffy's pile on the centre of the table until it got too cramped and since then they've been placing them behind them; Xander has only read three books since his return from dinner and the last one he finished was eight minutes ago and he left it in the weapons cabinet where he decided that playing with an axe was more interesting than continuing to research."

Xander looked apologetic and found himself briefly glancing at the axe that he'd left near the doorway. "Your brain is way too scary." He told her.

"I love her brain." Jesse commented, leaning over to kiss Willow on the forehead.

"Don't try and sweet talk me after you've spent the last fifteen minutes asleep." She said, refusing to respond to the feel of his lips on her.

"Okay..." Jenny said, standing up. "I think we've been at this too long now and everyone's in need of a break." She didn't catch the glare Gwendolyn sent her way at the suggestion. "How about everyone takes an hour off just to chill and relax..? We'll meet back here in an hour and see what state we're in... that way we can either continue to research or decide to clean the place up a bit, depending on what people think they're capable of."

There were no objections to the plan.

Jesse glanced at the book open in front of him. Trying to get his eyes to focus he looked at the picture at the top of the right hand page, it was definitely a drawing of some sort of metallic hand. Shrugging he folded the page over and went to the office to lay down, determined that he'd be more useful if he was allowed to sleep for an hour.

Jenny looked behind her at the half-empty stacks of books. "This is going to take some clearing up." She muttered to herself. Giles nodded in agreement.

Willow overheard and strolled over to them. "We can't just put everything back." She complained.

Giles stroked his chin, giving the situation some thought. "How about if we only put the books we've finished checking back..? The others could be stored in my office for the time being. That shouldn't affect your system, should it?"

Willow contemplated her answer. "No... I think I can live with that. I've got some ideas that might help too." She stated, speaking to him about her theories on which books were unread and which may need a double checking. They walked off together into the stacks as she discussed it further.

Ms Post remained where she was at the table. She had paused from her reading but hadn't commented further. "How sure are we that the information is here..?" She asked the others.

"Cordelia believes it was." Xander explained.

"The new girl that Giles mentioned..?"

"Yes... she has it on good authority that it should be here." He expanded.

"She remembers reading about it during another research session..?" Ms Post asked, thinking this would be typical of the attention span of an American teenager.

"Not herself, no." Faith answered.

"One of you then..?" Gwendolyn assumed.

"Kinda." Buffy stated, pausing to glance at Xander.

"You mean there are even more of you that are aware of the Slayer and her role." She asked in a mocking tone. "This is just typical of the behaviour I've seen so far."

Xander had been about to respond when Jenny walked over and placing her hands gently on his shoulders, firmly walked him out of the door. "Not now." She told him.

"But she..." He answered, turning to look past Jenny and seeing the two Slayers following them out.

"Just... get some time away from her," Jenny instructed. "Go on that donut run you mentioned, get some fresh air, stay away from her for an hour..."

"Could do with some fresh air." He acknowledged.

"Me too," Faith replied. "Could do with some action too... getting cooped up all day ain't my idea of fun."

"It's just gone dark." Buffy said, joining their little group. "Could do a quick patrol to blow out the cobwebs."

Faith and Xander quickly agreed, and the three headed out into the night for a while.

Jenny watched the go, then headed down towards the canteen to see if there was anything she could find to eat.

Ten Minutes Later.

Cordelia Chase strolled into the library, complaining vocally as she did so. "My dad was... arghh... he was just so... We were there in town getting a birthday present for my mother, that of course he needed my help choosing when suddenly he recieves a call from his accountant and I'm left standing there in the middle of a shop while he talks on his cell phone for like an hour."

Looking around the room she noticed that there seemed to be an unusual amount of books spread out, but there was no sign of anyone. "Okay, you lot have been busy." she tried calling again.

"Faith, you there..?" She called out, cautiously walking further into the room. "Xander, Buffy, anyone..?"

"Faith, I was talking to my dad before he got sidetracked and I'm using him to practice that thing we discussed. I figure if I can get my dad to agree to it in theory here, then the same sort of arguments should win him over back home... Faith..?" She called out again, she tried listening for a few minutes and there was definitely a sound coming from Giles' office. "I know you said I didn't need to... but I figured I was definitely going to, and considering you live in this dimension and wouldn't know if I was successful or not then there was no harm in telling you."

Looking around the room, she picked up a large book to be used as a weapon. She was halfway to the office, making practice swings of how she could knock someone out with it, when she spotted the weapon's cabinet. Quietly she quickly ran over to that and picked up a real weapon. She walked back towards the office, this time practicing thrusting a sword through someone's torso. "I know you're in there..." She said as she got closer. "I have a weapon..." Hearing no movement she reached out and gently pushed the office door open.

To reveal Jesse asleep half-falling off the chair, book in his lap. Smiling she put her sword into a more relaxed position. Walking into the room, she let him sleep. "Alright for some eh..?" She asked the unconscious person, as she placed the sword so it was leaning up against the side of a set of drawers. "Where are the others..?"

Realising that she wasn't going to get much out of Jesse, she sighed and headed back into the main room. To see a middle-aged woman casually walking down the stairs carrying a couple of books.

"Hello..?" the woman asked. "Can I help you..?"

End chapter nineteen