Love Through Jealousy
Natsue Arishima
Chapter Eleven: Pyrefly
The wind pounded mercilessly in her ears. Rikku snarled, fitting on her goggles as grains of sand pelted at her skin. Around them, the dunes rolled on for miles, dark shapes within the swirling wind.
They had been walking for hours. And then, with the best possible timing ever, they had been hit with another sandstorm. And there hadn't been time to avoid it.
It wasn't so bad. A lot better then having guts ripped out, and limbs broken, and… Dammit, who was she kidding? This was horrible.
She turned and found Tidus's shape within the sand. Lowering her head, she headed towards him with difficulty. He looked up when she was in range of his sight, a mere inch away. He smiled at her, which came out closer to a grimace.
"This is insane!" Rikku screamed over the wind. Tidus blinked, barely able to hear her. "I said, this is suicide!" the Al Bhed repeated, waving around her hands to emphasize her words. She was received with an eyebrow raise.
Rikku rolled her eyes.
"This — is — crazy!" she shrieked, pronouncing the words as best as she could and exaggerating her words by forming them precisely with her lips. Tidus blinked before comprehending her message. He began to shout back.
Rikku didn't catch a single word.
Ten minutes and several series of frantic arm wavings later, the Al Bhed finally gave up and headed back towards the bent form of Wakka.
It was almost as if Bikanel was perfectly reflecting her thoughts. Rikku frowned as she fought against the wind, hissing as cuts appeared on her limbs. Thoughts revolving around a certain guardian, who hadn't even blinked when she had given her all.
Damn that bastard.
He could have at least given some sign, or at least told her that he wasn't interested. But no… he just had to keep her guessing. Because of him, she wasn't sure of anything anymore.
She turned towards Wakka, feeling slightly guilty that she had previously forced herself on him. Lulu hadn't even been awake then, so he hadn't been given anything in return. But there had been no rejection for him either; there hadn't been any show of indifference. So in a way, he had been lucky.
Sensing her gaze, the redhead turned towards her before grinning.
Rikku smiled back before facing forward again. In front of her, she could just make out a dark outline, propped against the figure of a dune. Wordlessly, she headed towards it, stumbling several times in the process.
After what seemed like an eternity, she found herself in front of the silhouette. Propping herself onto her knees, she reached forwards until her hand brushed solid wood. A sign.
Things were looking up.
Inching closer, she eyed the markings on it. Behind her, she could sense the others gathering close, creating a small ring of comfort around her. Within a second, the force of the wind died and the assault of the storm lessened. Smiling, the Al Bhed shut her eyes, savoring the moment.
Ah, bliss…
A sharp jab in the head brought her back to life. Irritably, she examined the sign again. The markings were faded and blurred, almost impossible to read. She frowned and wiped off the sand, frustration bubbling when it remained still impossible to read.
Sighing, she leaned in closer, head almost plastered onto the wood. It was written in Al Bhed.
Oasis.
She blinked before sighing. Back to the oasis again.
It seemed as if they weren't wanted elsewhere.
Turning, she shouted towards Tidus once again, who also once again was unable to understand her. The minutes passed and Rikku sighed before trudging past the ring of guardians.
Oasis it was then.
---
Bikanel was surprisingly cool at night. The night sky was silent and clear, a pale moon casting its glow onto quiet waves. It was almost magical; everything was so peaceful. And the silence, the calm. Perfect. Like the soon-to-be Calm that Yuna would bring, with the death of Sin. The death of Jecht.
Auron stared up at the starless sky, back braced by stone. Cool silver met his gaze as he eyed the curve of the moon. A light breeze rustled by him, stirring his clothes and hair.
Almost hesitantly, he slowly raised a hand to his face, brushing the cold line of his shades. He swallowed before slowly taking them off, folding them neatly and tucking them away in his robe. The glare of the moon intensified immediately and he narrowed his eye.
He suddenly felt strangely vulnerable, and at the same time, foolish. To feel this weak, just without a darkened lens… Unconsciously, he rubbed at his scar, a constant reminder of failure. A reminder that he hadn't come in time to save his previous summoner.
He sighed as he thought about the recent events and swallowed angrily, hands clenching into fists. Besides him, crimson eyes opened, a full moon within either one. There was a clink of belts as Lulu shifted, dark hair sliding over pale shoulders as she lifted herself off of the sand.
She eyed him questioningly, slender brows slightly furrowed, and he shook his head, turning away before she could clearly see his face and the scar that lined it.
Silence stretched until a cold hand was placed on his shoulder. Another found its way to his chin; slowly but forcefully, it forced him to turn his head. He lowered his gaze. His eyes met rock, sand, and then black cloth, belts woven cleverly within it.
Lulu stared at him silently, surprised by his sudden change in attitude. Where it had been cold and uncaring, it was now, if possibly, confused and lost. To see the legendary guardian this weak… She winced, eyeing the scar before loosening her grip. She wouldn't press Auron if he wasn't ready to show it.
She could sense him staring at her out of the corner of her eye. She nodded faintly, lips curving ever so slightly, and he relaxed in return.
Lulu leaned back onto the smooth rock again, eyes drifting towards a tanned face before shutting them. Her Knight shifted within her arms and she shushed it silently. Minutes passed until the grips of sleep took hold of her again.
Auron watched her until her breathing became soft and steady again. Not wanting to wake her, he got up and paced softly towards the water, thanking her cool acceptance of his behaviour. He had almost been afraid of what she would say, what anyone would say, once they saw his face, and yet she had said nothing, merely smiled. The black mage would never dream of judging him, a trait that he had been attracted to for ages. He understood her, and she him. Perhaps that was why the two of them had never once crossed the line between friendship and love.
She was a close friend, and nothing more. A close friend who had been blissfully asleep during the afternoon's incident.
He made his way to the water's edge, eyes focused on the soothing waves, crested by glinting silver. Swallowing, Auron gazed at his reflection, wincing at his scar.
Rikku had kissed Wakka.
Auron sighed, sitting down on the brink. He hadn't known what to do, so had merely continued polishing his sword. But the look Rikku gave him afterwards made him regret his choice of acting indifferent.
And yet… if she truly did like him, and he her… then why were the two of them competing against each other? It made no sense. Was it now a contest of persistence and strength? To see who would hold out and win in the end?
Or did the Al Bhed not know?
He groaned. As dense as the blond could possibly be, Lulu had been right. He was being obvious. Risking his life numerous times just for her… and she still couldn't see it?
Or did she really like Wakka?
Or was she waiting for him to come to her?
Or…
Dammit.
He rubbed his eye.
Actually, he wasn't sure if he truly did like her. Or if he did, wasn't sure if he wanted to or not. It was strange though; he would always feel inexplicable when she wasn't around, and surprisingly happy when she was. But when she was close, he would always feel stupid and clumsy. It was as if a single breath could judge what would happen next, whether it be rejection or admitted love.
He scoffed, shaking his head. To think these thoughts… he almost laughed. It was like being with Braska again, constantly teased about women by Jecht. He almost felt guilty, reflecting on his past while Yuna was still lost, perhaps wandering the desert or elsewhere.
Auron turned to where Rikku was sleeping, curled up in a small ball, head cushioned by a mass of smooth, blond hair. Should he just tell her? Or should he just wait and watch, until time decayed his pitiful sentiment…
He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve anyone.
Turning back to the water, he shut his eyes, feeling suddenly alone. He lifted his hand, examining it. So real… like the hand of a living person.
But…
Sighing, he relaxed completely, loosening a mental grip in his mind. His hand began to shimmer, glow intensified by the moon. There was a warmth in his arm, creeping towards his chest. And then the tips of his hand began to dissolve.
Pyreflies.
Everywhere.
They flickered around him, dancing with the water, weaving into the night sky. He stared at them blankly, the amazement at their beauty long faded. Lights everywhere, like stars.
He didn't notice the stir behind him.
There was a gasp.
Rikku.
Auron tensed immediately, his figure stiffening. Around him, the pyreflies flickered before stirring together again towards his faintly outlined hand, called by their host. Even so, he knew it was too late. She had already seen enough to know that he was an Unsent. One of the dead.
So now she knew.
The color of his skin was becoming bolder, firmer. He stood in silence, waiting. The words that were spoken weren't what he had expected.
"Wait, Auron. Please."
Rikku was at his side in an instant, gazing at him out of clear, emerald eyes. Hesitating, she slowly reached towards his arm.
He pulled away, but her grip was firm.
"Pyreflies," she whispered softly. And then laughed.
He frowned, mentally questioning her sanity. He started when she tapped him on the nose, catching a pyrefly within her fist, staring at him. He noticed the question behind her eyes and swallowed, nodding.
She smiled as the fly lighted on her fingertip before, ever so slowly, it slipped into her skin as if it was water. Rikku gasped softly, squirming. The seconds passed as the two of them remained silent, both gazing at the water, Rikku holding her hand to her chest.
Finally, she stared back up to him, the sudden warmth within her finger fading. "Thanks Auron." She raised an eyebrow. "Lulu doesn't have one of these, does she?"
She was given a shrug.
Grinning, she turned and headed back towards the sleeping figure of Wakka. Lying down, she hesitated before whispering, "I like you better without your glasses."
---
A/N: Awww... isn't that sweet? But wait, there's still more! God I feel like a movie broadcaster... Anyhoo...
I admit, the delay in this chapter was completely my fault, both in laziness and my weakness for cars. My flight back was delayed, and that itself wasn't what I would call pleasant. And then came the drive home afterwards, with surprisingly strong winds that buffeted the car back and forth... And for the first time in around ten years, I experienced what it felt like to be carsick.
Meh. So you can guess that I wasn't really up to writing. (The next day was spent laying in bed for around 20 hours and stuffing my face for around 4). But anyhoo, this chapter is finally up, and not as late as it could have been, so...
Anyhoo, next update: possibly the first day of the new year, or the second, it depends... Oh, and thank you all for reviewing! Next chapter: a brief visit to Home... Uh oh... (Heh)
- Natsue Arishima