Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 probably... mainly for language.

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened?? - Chapter 22

"You don't seem worried." Willow stated, watching Giles as the three of them headed back towards the library.

He sighed, ignoring her as he negotiated the corridors on their return. "I'll call the Council and I'm sure we can sort this all out in a matter of minutes."

"Even if she's evil..?" Willow asked, "Cordelia seemed pretty certain."

"Even if she's evil." He confirmed. "And I've no doubt that Cordelia was correct about her being evil in her dimension, we just don't know how it applies over here. You know prior to this week, I would never had taken Cordelia on her word about anything."

"Shows that the Hellmouth effect is out in full force." Jenny commented from her position on the opposite side of Giles to Willow.

"You're not worried either..?" Willow asked, just as a crash was heard somewhere in the building.

Giles picked up his pace and started to build it up into a light run.

"I wasn't." Jenny replied, running to catch up.

"You think she woke up pissed..?" Willow asked, chasing them down the corridor.

"I'd be certain that happened whether she's good or evil." Jenny called back, as they rounded the last corner, the library doors could be seen swinging closed from their position further down the corridor.

Giles had just reached them when Jesse came barging through weilding an axe. "It's me." he said quickly raising his hands.

Jesse glanced at him, then at his girlfriend and the teacher arriving shortly after. "That means she went this way." He said, taking off in the opposite direction.

"Jesse, wait!!!" Willow called out, watching her boyfriend break into a sprint as he headed towards the science labs, she began to chase after him.

"Wait!!" Giles shouted. Sighing as he watched them both disappear around another corner. He opened the door to the library. "Follow them." He instructed Jenny, "I'll collect some weapons."

The first thing he saw when he turned his head to face the library was Cordelia charging at him with an axe in her hands. "Shit." He muttered ducking slightly.

She slowed to a stop, peering past him. "Did you see the bitch..?"

"Jesse's gone after her," He informed, taking the axe out of her hands. "Isn't this a bit overkill..?"

"She has a sword." Cordelia responded, running back inside to collect a crossbow from the weapon's cabinet.

"Pass me another sword." He instructed, while she was still digging in the weapon's cabinet. "We really need some non-fatal equipment." he mused.

"I don't think she's thinking along similar lines, Giles." Cordelia commented, pointing the sword at the broken quarter staff before passing it to him.

He nodded. "Can you use that..?" He asked, staring at how she was loading the crossbow.

"I can make do." She answered, walking past where he was holding the door open for her. "Which way did they go..?"

"That way." He said, pointing in the direction he'd last seen the others.

Meanwhile.

"She could be anywhere." Willow hissed into Jesse's ear as they stalked the school corridors looking for any sign of the escaped Watcher.

Jenny was wandering behind them, peering in classrooms windows. Testing all the handles to see if any were open.

"This one's unlocked." She informed them, pausing at a door to one of the labs. Jesse and Willow made their way back to her, Jesse leading the way after Jenny had swung the door open. Slowly entering the classroom, he made his way between the rows of desks, eyes glancing to the floor constantly checking.

Willow was following a few feet behind him, knowing she had to stay far enough away to enable him to swing the axe should he need to. She kept double checking each row which her boyfriend had passed, knowing it was up to her should Ms Post try to sneak up behind him. Reaching across, she picked up one of the wooden stools, intending to use this as her first means of defence, knowing it wouldn't fair that well against a sword but hoping it could by enough time for Jesse to join in any fight.

Suddenly the lights came on in the classroom. Both Jesse and Willow turned weapons raised, to where Jenny was standng at the doorway occasionally glancing out into the corridor.

"Don't do that!" Jesse commented, turning his attention back to the remaining two rows as he slowly made his way forward.

"Thought it would be easier if you could see better." Jenny unapologetically explained.

Willow took the time to glare at her before following Jesse. "Warning would have been nice." She muttered under her breath.

"Nothing." Jesse commented as he'd reached the back of the classroom. Turning to make his way back to the doorway, Willow heading in front of him.

Jenny turned the light off as they approached her. "Think we should turn the lights on in the corridor..?" she asked.

Willow squinted at the wall next to her. "Where are the switches..?"

"Either end." Jenny responded.

"We'll do it for the next one." Jesse replied, leading the group further along the corridor.

Jenny moved to the right hand side of the corridor and tested the handle, she pointed to Willow to instruct that she should check those on the opposite side.

Sounds of footsteps from behind made them all turn suddenly. To see Giles and Cordelia heading their way.

"Found anything..?" Giles asked.

"Oh yes, we've cut her into little bits and now you need to locate them all." Jenny replied sarcastically.

Willow scrunched her face up as she imagined it.

"Stop it, or you don't get a weapon." Giles told Jenny, smiling affectionately as he did so.

"I'll have it." Willow offered, disappointed when Giles handed it to Jenny. She turned to look at Cordelia who was only carrying a crossbow. "You didn't bring me one..?"

Cordelia shrugged and offered her a stake that she'd had tucked into her back pocket.

"That's all I get... a stake..?" Willow asked.

"She's a human." Cordelia responded.

"Yeah, cos what we really need in this situation is a policeman." Jesse stated, beginning to head down the corridor again. The others following him, happier that they were armed now.

Fifteen Minutes Later.

"Man, that was so cool." Faith commented as they entered the school building. "I swore that vamp was gonna shit himself."

"Do vamps need to poo..?" Xander asked, causing both girls to giggle. "No, I'm serious... cos I'm thinking they're mainly on a liquid diet."

"You know of all the vampire related trivia I've learned since becoming a Slayer, that was something I never thought to ask about." Buffy commented, linking arms with her boyfriend.

"B and Red are right... you've got a special way of thinking, Xan."

"Is that good special or bad special..?" He asked, enjoying the playful banter.

"Jury's still out on that one." Faith added.

"Hey."

"Stop whining you pussy." Faith commented, opening the door to the library. She stopped as she looked around, spotting no-one. "Are we early..?"

"I didn't think that was possible." Xander replied looking at his watch. It said the correct time for when they'd agreed to meet back, not trusting it he tried shaking it and then holding it up to his ear. "Seems to be working... but I'd have to play odds and say it's more likely we're late and they've gone looking for us."

Buffy stepped over the broken quarter staff, "Mmmm." She glanced in the direction of the weapon's cabinet and noted that the door was open, trying to rack her mind as whether it had been open before they'd left. She headed towards the office to see if anyone was in there.

Both of the others noticed her concentration flick to the weapon's cabinet. Faith darted up the steps to check the back, glancing at the fallen chairs next to the table as she ran past.

Xander glanced into the corner of the room where he'd left the axe, noting it was no longer there he headed over the cabinet to see if they'd put it back.

Faith was the first to return to the centre of the room. "No one up there."

Buffy left the office carrying some pieces of rope that had obviously been cut. "I've got a really bad feeling about this." She added, nodding over to the broken staff.

Xander returned with a short sword attached to his belt and carrying a crossbow in his right hand. Under his left arm were an assortment of swords and axes. Dropping them onto the table, he commented. "When they left, they left armed."

Buffy and Faith each grabbed two weapons each. Buffy preferring two short swords, while Faith chose a sword and a double bladed axe.

"Right." Buffy said, nodding at each of them in turn. They both followed her towards of the library doors. Just in time to meet the others coming in.

Weapons were automatically raised by both sides. Faith pushed Xander with her right hand, almost knocking him over.

Sighs of relief were heard as the weapons were lowered.

"We've got to stop doing that." Jesse commented.

"The swinging doors definitely need to be replaced." Willow agreed.

"What was that for..?" Xander asked, glaring at Faith.

"What happened..?" Buffy asked, staring directly at her Watcher.

Faith simply pointed at where Cordelia was standing, her weapon previously pointed directly at where Xander's chest had been. Giving her a final questioning look, he returned his attention to the others, waiting to get filled in on the details.

"It seems Ms Post is after the Glove of Myhnegon for her own benefit." Giles explained, walking to the table to sit on a chair.

"Huh..?" Xander asked.

"She's evil." Cordelia clarified.

"I could have told you that." Faith commented. "No wait... I think you'll find I did tell you that."

"You didn't say she was evil evil." Jesse corrected. "You said she was an evil British Nazi Watcher bitch whose only role in life was to make yours suck."

"Same thing." Faith commented.

"We certain she's evil evil..?" Buffy asked, moving over to where her Watcher was seated.

"I'm going to call the Council to find out." Giles said confidently, moving over to the office to make a call.

"So while we've had losts of evil Watcher fun, what have you lot been up to..?" Cordelia asked the others.

"Ran into Trick." Faith commented.

"Hmmm... evil Watcher..." Jesse muttered to himself, starting to look around the room.

"What was he up to..?" Willow asked.

"Preying on people at the Bronze." Faith said.

"Oh... that's original." Willow commented.

"Last time they were original we went up against ten vamps remember." Buffy shouted from her place at the table. "I could live with lots of un-originality for the time being."

"Sing it sister." Faith called over her shoulder, then turned her attention towards the Cordelia. "So what happened with the bitch..?"

"Well..." Cordelia began. "After I'd hit her with the quarterstaff. We tied her up in the office." The story was interrupted by the sound of Jesse coughing.

Cordelia sighed, "Jesse tied her up. I was explaining to Jesse about what she was like in my reality, and Willow went to fetch Giles. While this was going on she somehow freed herself, probably using the sword she had when she attacked us. We managed to fend her off, but she escaped. Then we chas..."

"First she dropped the book she was carrying." Jesse corrected her.

"Do you want to tell this story..?" Cordelia asked.

"No... busy." Jesse commented, continuing to read from the book he was holding. "Please continue."

"First she came out with a sword in hand running right at us." She stated, glaring at Jesse. "I only just had time to raise the staff to defend myself, which of course it chopped right through. Then Jesse attacked her with an axe, but she managed to defend herself and get the advantage... by this point I'd got an axe of my own so I attacked her, and she deflected my blow as well and managed to knock me over the table where I slid to the ground." Turning to look at Jesse, she commented. "That better...?" Turning back, she continued. "Then we chased her around the school." Cordelia finished.

"Now you're researching..?" Willow asked in disbelief while moving over to her boyfriend.

"So where is she..?" Faith asked, determined to give the bitch a few punches of her own.

"She lost us in the hallways." Jenny commented. "We didn't see any sign of her but we did manage to find a fire door we think she'd escaped via. For me that kinda gives enough doubt as to whose side she was on."

"And if we weren't sure before, the Council confirmed it for me." Giles stated strolling out of his office.

"What did they say..?" Buffy asked, moving closer to the main group.

"The personnel department informed me she'd been fired years ago, something about misuse of dark powers."

"Told you." Cordelia shouted in Jesse's direction.

"Now she knows we're onto us she's gonna be hard to find." Faith commented. "I know what I'd do... either get out of town or if she wants to stay to find that glove then she needs to get a false identity pronto... makes it more difficult to track." She explained.

"And she knows you two are computer whizs." Xander commented, looking at the Techno-pagan and her student.

"Question still remains is what do we do when we find her..?" Cordelia asked Giles, looking over to where Jesse and Willow had their heads in a book. "That's mainly what we wanted you for."

"She's human so we can't really kill her... and we can't turn her over to the police for trying to use a magical weapon."

"How about the Council..?" Buffy asked.

"It would seem to be the best course of action, but they already released her once..." He commented, thinking it over.

"We could set her up with something... so that the normal police can arrest her." Xander offered.

"And you've trusted the Sunnydale PD since when..?" Faith commented.

"That's with vampires... they ought to be able to deal with regular crimes, right..?" He asked the others, seeing if anyone had any confidence with the local law enforcement.

"This is all well and good." Giles interrupted, "But first we need to find her... and as Faith said, that could be very difficult."

"I think I know where she's going." Jesse commented. Walking over he passed the book to Giles. "Magical glove of evil one-oh-one... how to destroy it, last known locations, even some info on the Lagos guy."

Cordelia's eyebrows raised. "She's going to the glove..?"

End chapter twenty two