Title: Synopses
Author: Scriptophobic
Pairings: (Most pairings are fleeting) 1x2x1, 23, 4x1, 13x1, 6x4
Warnings: AU, Angst, Drama, Language, Adult Situations
Note: This exists in a USA someday when gay marriage is legal
Heero loved consistencies. He loved when things worked together and made sense. He didn't like surprises. The two main constants in his life were his work and his husband; Duo. Work was... work. Steady, reliable and unsurprisingly enjoyable considering he was a software engineer and computers had been his first big love. Duo of course, had been his second.
It had started out as a fling and had included all of the cheap and vulgar things that tends to go along with that phrase. The fling turned into a grudging and rocky relationship that didn't blossom until two brief break-ups during and after college. There had been a lot of drama but now they were good and it seemed as if all of the drama had made their relationship stronger.
They moved to New York from Rhode Island and got an apartment in SoHo where they thrived among the rest of the yuppies. Heero got a job and Duo did his "art thing" which mostly consisted of decorating the apartment and repainting the walls six times in two years. He had one successful show, two flops and after another year, he decided that he'd be better off as an art buyer and freelance photographer. It wasn't his dream but he consoled himself with the idea that he was getting something out of his Brown education and degree in Visual Arts.
They got married when Duo first thought of starting his own business and now two years later, their relationship and the business were thriving.
It had been a long day and Heero was tired but he was looking forward to their Friday greasy take out and movie rental ritual, so he couldn't be in that bad of a mood. He got off the R train on Prince Street and hurried to their apartment in the rain. He wondered what movie Duo had picked out this time and smiled to himself as he thought of last week's disaster that they never got to see the end of because they'd been more interested in dry humping on the new shag rug.
Unlocking the door was suddenly an annoying inconvenience but then he was anxious to get out of his wet clothes. As soon as he was through the door he kicked off the soaking wet Converses and shrugged off his leather jacket as he whipped his head around and got the excess water off his hair like a wet dog. It didn't take him long to realize that two important things were missing from their Friday night ritual. Lights and the smell of Chinese food from Wong's Noodle Shop.
Duo liked to have every light in the apartment on because he felt like it gave it more life. Wong's had the best Chinese food in Manhattan.
"Babe?" With his brow furrowed, Heero entered the living room and flipped on the overhead light (a gorgeous fixture that Duo had made). His eyes focused and he saw Duo.
Duo looked very wrong. He was sitting on the window sill and staring out at the rain. His eyes were shadowed and his lips were in a thin line; hands curled into tight fists. It looked as though he had been crying.
It wasn't as though Duo never got upset, on the contrary Duo was very easily excitable and angered. However, he hadn't looked this sad in a long time. In such a long time that Heero couldn't even remember what the cause had been.
"What's wrong? Has something happened?" Heero started forward, face full of concern, but Duo held up a hand to halt him.
"It's-- I'm f-- nothing--" Duo stopped and let out a long, shuddering sigh. His eyebrows knotted and he winced as though he were in pain.
"Duo, you're scaring me." And he was. Many thoughts were going through his mind, thoughts that included the death of one of their friends or family members, the failure of his business, a law suit-- but the one thing he wasn't thinking of was exactly what came out of Duo's mouth.
"Heero..." It was so soft that it was almost a sigh. "Heero, I'm leaving you."
A smile ghosted across Heero's lips and he started to speak but the look that Duo gave him stopped him in his tracks. He was serious.
"It's... it's not as sudden as it seems," Duo said weakly. "I've been thinking about this for a long time and... and I just think it's time that--- I know that-- Fuck I had this whole speech prepared and now I'm fucking it all up." He slammed his fist against his thigh and sighed.
"I don't get it," Heero said flatly.
"I know, Heero," Duo said tiredly. It was the way he spoke when he really didn't feel like discussing something. "I know you don't get it and that's part of the problem." He flinched as soon as he said it and waved his hands wildly. "No, no forget I even said that bullshit. I'm not putting any of this on you. This is about me."
"Are you fucking someone else?" The words were vile on his tongue and tasted like something resembling poison. He imagined Duo writhing against another man and had violent thoughts.
"No! Jesus, Heero!" Duo looked hurt that he would even suggest it. He looked betrayed. "How could you think that I would ever cheat on you?"
"Because that's the only thing that would make sense," Heero said coldly. He pulled off his scarf (another one of Duo's pieces. He could work with anything.) and let it drop to the floor. His eyes bore into Duo's and he could feel himself shutting down. He could feel the anger and the confusion and the tears but they refused to be expressed or released and instead he made himself blank.
Maybe if he didn't react, this wouldn't be real.
"You're right." Duo nodded. "It doesn't make sense; not even to me. We... have a great life together." He smiled and it was bittersweet. "We get each other. We... we have so much history. You know everything about me and you are amazing in bed and... and we make sense. But..." His smile faded entirely. "But I feel like I'm missing out on so much." He shook his head and his bangs fell over his eyes in a way that was normally endearing. "Don't you see Heero? You were my first boyfriend... my first everything. I've never... never experienced anything else. There are so many things I could be doing, so many places and people I could be seeing and..."
Heero tuned him out. Suddenly all he could think about was if the girl at Wong's was wondering why they had never ordered their usual Friday night fare.
"...you're ready to settle, Heero. I know you are. But I-- I thought I was, but I'm not." Duo nodded to himself. "I'm 27 years old and I've never really done anything and... and I can't settle yet. I'm sorry."
Heero wanted to cry very much but for some reason it wouldn't happen. Instead he stared at his damp socks and caught sight of packed suitcases out of the corner of his eyes. He felt like throwing up. He thought about how passionately they had made love the night before and felt like Duo had stabbed him in the back. "How long?" He whispered.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes."
Duo stood up and fiddled with his overlong sleeves. "I've been considering this for about two years."
Heero looked up sharply and this time the tears almost surfaced. "You've been wanting to dump me since we got married?"
Another wince. "I---"
"THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING MARRY ME?"
His composure was gone. He slammed his fist against the wall and it dented and caved. The carefully applied Starlit Blue paint cracked around the hole.
"It wasn't until after that I had second thoughts! I thought they would go away! I-- I thought-- but then I felt smothered, trapped and I knew... I knew I would never get to do the things that I had always dreamed I would do!"
"Oh, really? You never got to mooch off of me for two years while you experimented with paint mixtures and Fung Shui? You never got to fake at being an artist and have people actually buy your shitty paintings? You never got to realize that you're actually a hack so INSTEAD you make a shitload of money buying paintings for rich assholes? You never got to con me into a ménage a trois and swinger parties? You never got to spend an entire month lounging around in Paris as you tried to look for inspiration that you pulled out of your ass--"
"Stop it!" Duo looked very hurt. Very angry. "You--- You're just being an asshole now." He shook his head in disbelief. "Fake at being an artist? A hack? Jesus Heero you sure know how to fucking strike a low blow, don't you?"
"A low blow?" Heero asked incredulously. "You're telling me that you've wanted to get rid of me for the entire length of our marriage and I'm the one striking low blows? You coward. You spineless, little coward."
"Heero--"
"Just get out."
-------
Four months, eleven days and sixteen hours later and he still hadn't recovered from the shock. Their mutual friends had shied away from him after the separation and he realized they had always truly been more Duo's friends than his own.
It was the weekend of their anniversary and he was at Daniel, a ridiculously expensive French restaurant on the Upper East Side, nursing a cup of Tilleul tea and a plate full of grilled swordfish with a curried béarnaise that he couldn't really enjoy the taste of.
Duo had loved to go to expensive restaurants even when they were overrated and this had been their special place. He'd always ordered the "duo of beef" because it amused him and they usually made inappropriate innuendos the entire night. He wondered if Duo still came here and the answer to his question came just as he had finished his roasted eggplant.
They had never officially divorced or filed papers and technically were still married. He hadn't seen or spoken to Duo since that Friday night. He kept waiting for someone to contact him, a lawyer or Duo himself, but it hadn't happened.
He hadn't expected to see Duo with another man.
He was tall and green eyed and beautiful and looked like a mix between Italian and Greek. He was dressed casually but was still incredibly stylish and it was a look that Heero had never been able to pull off despite Duo's best efforts. They looked amazing together and Duo was smiling his private smile.
Heero felt masochistic and refused to leave even though he felt like vomiting up his hundred dollar meal. He left extra cash on the table and sat at the bar where he could get a better view. He almost fooled himself into believing it was a business dinner until the green eyed man leaned over and brushed his lips across Duo's temple in a gesture that was chaste but still very intimate.
"Sir, are you okay?" The bartender was a pretty young girl with wide, friendly eyes.
"What?" He asked distractedly.
She wordlessly handed him a handkerchief and Heero realized he was crying.
-------
Twelve days later Heero filed for divorce.
Their mutual friends tried to talk him out of it and he told them that he wasn't going to let Duo finance his expensive dates with their joint account. They acted as though he were being unreasonable and he imagined that it was the end of his friendship with most of them.
He had expected it to be a fairly straight forward, if painful, process. He hadn't expected Duo to want the apartment and the Chevelle.
To be fair to Duo, it wasn't an entirely outrageous request. He had spent two years turning the bland, colorless co-op into a work of art. He'd mixed paint to get the perfect colors; created light fixtures; refinished chairs, floors and the whole nine yards. He had been very proud of it in the end, especially since it was his first real home and it made sense that he would want it back.
As far as the car went, well, it was a black and red 1969 Chevelle Malibu and it had been Duo's baby. Heero bought it knowing it wasn't really his style and Duo had taken it over. Heero wasn't surprised that he was requesting it. He wasn't surprised but he didn't feel particularly interested in being fair either. Suddenly it didn't matter to him that the car was just sitting in the garage collecting dust or that he had considered moving out of the apartment only two weeks before.
What mattered was that finally he could get back at Duo somehow. For leaving him, for hurting him and for betraying him. It was probably spiteful and childish but for the first time in a long time, Heero didn't care about that. If Duo wanted so badly to move on with his life, he would have to do it without the possessions they had shared.
-------
"You don't even drive the fucking thing!" Duo hollered angrily.
"Please control your client, Mr. Chang," Heero's lawyer said in a bored tone. Her name was Relena Peacecraft and she was supposedly the best divorce lawyer that someone with Heero's salary could buy.
"It just sits in the garage with a stupid black tarp ove--"
"Duo." Chang gave Duo a cool look and he instantly quieted down, opting to glare at Heero silently instead. His outfit amused Heero because he knew that this was Duo's version of 'dressing up'. He'd never gotten the hang of a normal suit and tie and had often blamed it on the way he grew up.
"Heero has offered the following deal," Peacecraft began pleasantly. "Of the $85,678 joint savings account at Washington Mutual, Mr. Maxwell will receive 40 as well as the Lincoln Aviator and any or all pieces of artwork from the apartment that he created. Mr. Yuy has also very generously offered the handcrafted mahogany bookcase and coffee table that were special ordered from Central Java, Indonesia by Mr. Maxwell and the antique Louis Phillipe mirror."
Heero kept his head down and stared at his folded hands. He was wearing a suit and as usual it fit awkwardly. Too big in the shoulders and the pants were too long. He despised his ancestry immensely at that moment and wished he could have had genes that made him a bit taller and broader.
"No, no, fucking A, NO." Duo crossed his arms over his chest. "I can't believe you're doing this to me!"
"I'm not doing anything to you," Heero retorted. He refused to look up and concentrated on the loose thread in his jacket sleeve.
"You don't even drive the damn car! You said it was too flashy and--"
"The car is rightfully Mr. Yuy's as he was the one who paid for it in full. Commandeering something does not automatically make you the legal owner. The Aviator, however, was paid for by both of you--"
"But he wanted the Aviator! Wufei--" Duo turned to his lawyer helplessly.
"I'm sure, Mr. Chang, that you will agree that Mr. Yuy's offer is very generous and fair. Obviously your client has objections so I will leave you to negotiate that with him as I have another meeting that I must get to. I'll be in touch." Peacecraft stood up, smiled politely and walked briskly out of the room.
Heero followed her quickly and didn't look back. He ignored Duo's angry look and told himself that this was what he really wanted to do.
-------
They no longer had mutual friends and the only person Heero spoke to was his lawyer. Although he had a large number of acquaintances at work, he had never understood the exact science of making friends or confiding in people so the only person who knew he was getting divorced was his boss.
For the next month, most nights were spent sitting silently at the refinished dining table that Duo had labored on for days and eating take-out from Wong's. He wondered if this was what "depression" was, but couldn't be bothered to go talk to some overpaid doctor about it.
Duo didn't want to give up the car or the apartment but he had decided to stop asking for the Chevelle after Peacecraft brought up all of his speeding tickets and the DUI. Heero had received a particularly wounded expression at that moment but Duo had remained surprisingly silent.
The fight for the apartment went on for quite awhile until Peacecraft pulled out the big guns one morning when she seemed to be in a particularly vile mood. She let Duo know that although he had a decent job now, she was very much aware of the fact that he hadn't had one for the first three years of their stay in New York and that he hadn't put a dime into paying the rent or eventually buying the apartment when it had turned co-op four years ago. She reminded Duo that he had been a poor kid from Woonsocket that had gotten into Brown on scholarships and full financial aid and that he wasn't automatically entitled to anything that Heero had paid for just because he had slapped some paint on it.
This time the wounded look leaned more towards hateful and Duo got up and walked out of the room.
-------
Nine days later Duo agreed to the original deal that was offered to him but refused the Aviator anyway because it "wasn't his style". Papers were drawn up, sent out and now sitting in a manila envelope that lay on the Indonesian coffee table that Duo was coming by to pick up later.
Heero stared at the envelope and avoided touching it for several days. Once he signed and they were filed, this would all be officially over and he could move on with his life.
The idea was very depressing.
Two weeks later they were divorced and Duo was coming by to pick up his things that night.
Heero was very nervous about this and had debated vacating the apartment before he arrived before nixing the idea as cowardly. It hadn't really sunk in that they were legally divorced yet and he fidgeted with his clothes like he was going on a date. He practiced things to say in his mind because he didn't want the situation to be entirely tense and silent but he couldn't think of anything that didn't sound smug about the property division or bitter about the entire ordeal. He expected himself to freeze up when Duo arrived and finally decided that he'd stay to the side and be quiet.
The doorbell rang three hours and seventeen minutes later and two people stood on the other side. The beautiful green eyed man from the restaurant and Hilde Schbeiker stared at him as if he were something they had stepped in. Hilde had been one of their "mutual friends". Duo was nowhere to be seen.
"Where's Duo?"
"He didn't want to be in the same room with you," Hilde informed him coldly. "He's getting over a cold and doesn't need to get sick again."
Heero nodded and pointedly ignored the insult before pointing them in the direction of the living room. Hilde told him that she had a list and knew exactly what to take. She made it sound sinister but Heero couldn't figure out why she thought he would care. He shrugged and gave them the large boxes he had gotten from the liquor store the night before and retreated to the corner of the room. The green eyed man would look at him curiously from time to time but generally remained silent.
He actually helped the man take down the bookcase and coffee table but they didn't exchange two words the entire time. By the time they were done all of the hand crafted knick-knacks, lamps, fixtures, paintings and even his scarf were gone. The apartment looked naked and raped. It made Heero ill but he didn't say a word.
That night he made his second trip to the liquor store and spent the night with a bottle of Jack Daniels.
-------
It took Heero three months to stop drinking every night and that was only because he was afraid that he was becoming an alcoholic.
Three months after that he was mostly back in the swing of things and wasn't quite as depressed anymore now that everything had sunken in and adjusted.
A month later, he met Quatre.
Quatre was a resident at Mt. Sinai Hospital and was intelligent, attractive and witty. He wasn't funny like Duo or silly like Hilde had been, but he had dry humor that Heero found immensely entertaining. They met in a food court near the hospital and had begun a conversation since they'd been stuck sharing a table. Heero had been surprised at how fast they clicked because that had only ever happened to him with Duo.
Despite his best efforts, he'd felt guilty about it because he considered this to be "too soon". He wasn't drowning his sorrows anymore and the wounds weren't as fresh but they definitely hadn't healed and he still dreamed of his ex-husband at least twice a week.
It took him a long time to even kiss Quatre and when they had sex for the first time, it felt mechanical and empty. Three weeks after that he told Quatre that he wasn't ready for a relationship and they decided to remain friends.
"A friend of mine is making me go to a party on Saturday. Would you like to go?" Quatre's tone was dry as if he expected Heero to say no.
"No."
Quatre rolled his eyes and poured dressing on his salad. "You're worse than me."
"Meaning?" Heero examined his sushi suspiciously.
"Meaning I never go out and you go out less than me. Your social life is now in the negatives."
"I'm being social right now, aren't I?"
"No. I don't count."
"Oh. Okay."
Quatre made a face. "I don't want to go alone. It's going to be a lot of artsy fartsy yuppie types and I don't have the patience for it right now."
"So you'd have the patience for it at some other point in your life?"
"Oh, shut up. I'm only going as a favor to my friend Trowa because some of his pieces are going to be in the show but he's going to be mingling all night and I'll be there hating everyone alone."
"So I should come hate them with you?"
"Exactly. Just imagine it: a bunch of SoHo and Chelsea boys masquerading as 'ah-teests' and smoking cloves. We'll have fodder for weeks."
"My ex-husband is an artist."
"So you should have no problem hating them, then." Quatre blinked after he said it as if the words had come out of his mouth unexpectedly. He smiled apologetically and focused on his salad.
Heero had only gone over the basics of the divorce because he hated discussing it, but Quatre had immediately disliked Duo on his behalf. "I don't hate him."
"Obviously you're a better person than me because I would most certainly hate someone if they dumped me after a long, committed relationship for no apparent reason." Quatre scowled. "And don't start defending him to me, either."
Heero hated when anyone badmouthed Duo. Even now. But Quatre was his only friend and he didn't want to argue about it so he changed the subject. "Alright. I'll go with you but we aren't staying long."
-------
Quatre had said to wear something 'stylish but casual' so Heero wore his Think Geek SQL t-shirt, ratty Levi's and his Converses. Quatre came by to pick him up in a similar outfit, except he wore running sneakers and a t-shirt with 'doctor humor' on it. He looked pleased when he saw Heero and gave him a big smile and a high five.
They walked to the gallery and Quatre nearly gagged when he heard the sounds of Enya floating out the door. The place was full of people who resembled models: underweight and theoretically attractive. They were wearing what Heero assumed were the latest fashions and many of them seemed insulted that the two of them were wearing clothes that didn't cost more than Heero's laptop.
"Hors D'oeuvre?" The waiter looked like a Calvin Klein model.
"Oh look they have gall bladders on a stick!" Quatre smirked at the confused looking waiter and started to say something else that was probably equally as alarming when a deep, low voice interrupted him.
"Still being the antichrist of the chic, are you?" The tone was dry and more than a little amused.
"Did you expect anything less, Trowa?"
Heero had trouble breathing properly for a moment and nearly dropped the champagne flute that he'd felt inclined to take from another dashingly handsome waiter.
"This is my good friend--"
"Heero." Trowa's green eyes were slightly widened and his lips were parted in an 'o' of surprise.
His name sounded wrong coming from a man who had never deigned to speak to him before. Heero suddenly imagined him lying in bed with Duo and the two of them discussing all of the ways in which Heero had failed as a husband. He put down the flute and excused himself softly before speed walking towards the door.
He was halfway up Spring street when he heard footsteps pounding after him. For some reason he hoped it would be Duo because he had undoubtedly been at the party, but it turned out to be Quatre. He apologized breathlessly and swore that he had no idea of the connection. Heero assured him that it was okay and suggested he go back to the party. Quatre waved off the suggestion and said that he wasn't going anywhere and that Trowa understood. Heero pondered at what exactly Trowa could possibly understand but didn't ask.
They took the subway to Quatre's midtown apartment and ordered Spanish food. They drank beer, lamented over failed relationships and wound up having sex on the wood paneled floor. Heero woke up the next morning with several splinters and an uncomfortable ache in his back.
They didn't discuss what had happened and went on as if everything was exactly the same as it had been before the party.
-------
A month later, it was the anniversary of the day Duo walked out on him. It was a Saturday and he had no work so he spent the day in bed. He had never truly stayed in bed all day before and he came to the conclusion that it was an overrated experience.
It stormed badly that day and he watched the rain hit against the skylight as if he were in a trance. The phone rang seven times over the course of the day but he hadn't had the energy to actually answer it.
He looked at the caller I.D. hours after the day was officially over and puzzled over it. Four of the calls were from Quatre, one was the bank, one was his uncle and the last was a Barton, T at 10:56PM. He didn't recognize the name and was very curious about it considering the person had called rather late at night, but he wasn't curious enough to actually call back.
The next day Quatre came over with take-out soul food and a friend from work. His name was Treize Khushrenada and he spent most of the night subtly flirting with Heero. Quatre encouraged the behavior and Heero began to realize that the whole thing was some kind of set up. Quatre had recently hooked up with Treize's friend Zechs (his "stage name") and had apparently made it his mission to find Heero a mate since he now had one of his own.
When the subject of relationships came up, Heero made it a point to say that he wasn't interested in being serious with anyone at the moment. Quatre looked disappointed but Treize looked even more intrigued. He admitted that he didn't particularly like being exclusive either and at the end of the night he asked if they could exchange numbers. Heero didn't really want to but he couldn't think of a reason to say no and he didn't want to be rude, so he went along with it.
Quatre gave him a thumbs up and a Cheshire Cat smile as they were leaving and Heero rolled his eyes. It didn't matter that it had been a year since Duo had left. One year compared to the nine years that they had been together hardly gave him time to truly "get over it" and he doubted he ever would.
Two weeks later he was pushed into going on a double date with Treize, Quatre and Zechs. Zechs was reading in a poetry slam at the Bowery Poetry Club and he wanted them all to come. Heero had expected Zechs to be dark, dramatic and full of himself but was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't the case. He didn't win the poetry slam but everyone in the club admitted that he was robbed. He accepted his defeat with grace and they went to CBGBs to listen to kids who couldn't play their instruments right and seemed more fond of screaming than singing at the audience.
They split up around two in the morning and Treize gave Heero a handjob on the cab ride home. The four of them began hanging out regularly and Heero figured out that having a "fuckbuddy" was easier than having a relationship because he didn't have to deal with the guilt of possibly having strong feelings for someone else.
-------
The winter brought another bout of depression and Quatre tried to convince Heero that he should "see someone" about it. The trysts with Treize became infrequent as Heero became more withdrawn and finally when he developed a bad case of insomnia, he agreed to go to a psychiatrist. He was given Paxil for depression and Seroquel for sleep but after a month he quit the Paxil and just took the Seroquel. He hated the idea of taking any kind of "happy pills" as Duo used to call them and as soon as he got a regular sleeping pattern, he stopped taking them altogether and never went back to the psychiatrist again.
By the time their would-be eleventh anniversary rolled around, it was Spring and Heero was mostly out of his slump. He had begun spending time with Quatre, Treize and Zechs again and they had fallen into a routine. They had a regular movie night on Fridays but they actually went to the Cineplex instead of Blockbuster and had lunch together several times a week. He had completely lost interest in the idea of casual sex and Treize no longer seemed to care so it wasn't an issue and caused no tension among the group.
It was March 25th and Heero decided to have lunch by himself under the arch in Washington Square Park because it was another one of his and Duo's special places. They'd usually spend the day in the park and then have dinner at Daniel but since the night that he'd seen Duo there with Trowa he'd felt as if the place had been desecrated and had never stepped foot inside of it again.
Heero bought a large pretzel and a bottle of water from a vendor and walked over to the arch. He had expected his mission for a nice, quiet lunch to be interrupted by obnoxious NYU students. He hadn't expected it to be interrupted by Duo.
He was sitting cross legged with his back against the arch with a book propped in his lap. He was dressed casually in black jeans and a close fitting black jacket. His hair was considerably shorter and chopped into some kind of stylish cut that ended a few inches below his shoulders. The change in length was shocking but very aesthetically pleasing and it was a much more 'grown up' look than his usual long braid.
The book's title read At Ease: Navy Men of World War II and had a black and white image of two half-naked, attractive young men laying on a towel near some kind of plane.
Heero stared at him for a long time and strongly debated turning around and running in the opposite direction. He'd spent a year of his life wondering if this very thing would happen and mentally preparing himself for it if it did, but now that Duo was a few yards away from him he was scared to death. He had already backed up a step when Duo looked up and he froze in place when their eyes met.
There was a long, tense silence and Heero couldn't read Duo's expression at all. He could have been shocked, angry, disgusted--
"Hi."
"Hello, Duo."
His eyes roamed over the length of Heero's body and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Still wearing that dumb binary t-shirt, huh?"
"You cut your hair off."
He looked self-conscious suddenly and it clashed with the self assured, stylish yuppie image that he had worked hard on projecting. "Uhh yeah, I kinda... I don't know. Wanted a change, you know?"
"You seem to always want a change." That one came out of nowhere.
Duo frowned and closed his book, looking away from Heero and focusing on his boots. "Guess it does seem that way, huh?" He shook his head and sighed. "So... wanna sit down? I um-- it's--, just sit the fuck down." He seemed irritated at his own nervousness.
Heero shrugged and tried to appear casual as he sat down next to him. He ripped his pretzel in half and offered the larger piece to Duo like he always had in the past. Duo offered him a tight, nervous smile in return and began picking the excess salt off. It was all very familiar except for the fact that they were acting like strangers.
"Interesting choice in reading."
"Oh, it's a photography book focusing on hot young soldiers during the World War II era. The author is gay and blatantly picking the most homoerotic photos he could find. It's lame."
"Then why are you reading it?"
"Because there are some really hot soldiers in here, man! Look at the asses on the cover!" Duo smirked.
"They're probably extremely old or dead now, you realize that don't you?"
Duo waved him off and they sat in silence for a moment that was a little uncomfortable but less tense than it had been at first. "It's... heh... it's our anniv--well it would be our anniversary, you know." He picked at his pretzel some more and avoided Heero's eyes.
"Yes."
Duo sighed softly. "Heero..."
"Duo."
"Would you stop that!"
Heero raised an eyebrow at him.
"That monosyllabic answer crap that you do when you're mad at me!" Heero didn't respond and Duo sighed again, louder this time. "Why didn't you..." He paused. "I've missed you, you know."
"Is that a fact?" Heero frowned and looked over at the fountain. He didn't want to hear this phony lamenting crap.
"Trowa told me that you came to that party awhile ago and I was so... I don't know. Mad, I guess that you ran off without saying hello." Duo frowned. "I mean I guess I have no right to be mad at you for anything, especially not something like that but I--"
"You took Trowa to Daniel on our anniversary last year," Heero said calmly. "Why is that?" He hadn't wanted to bring that up; hadn't wanted to bring up anything that could potentially cause an argument, but he hadn't been able to help it. Duo had missed him so much that he had taken a date to their favorite restaurant on their anniversary? Right.
Duo froze for a moment and then swallowed hard. "You saw me there?" Heero nodded and Duo shrugged and bowed his head. "Uhh that probably looked really bad, huh? Heh. Great going, Maxwell," He muttered bitterly. "Well... it wasn't really a date I guess. Me and Trowa... well it's complicated but we had never been in a committed relationship or anything. He's just really supportive and uh, he even let me call you from his house a couple of months ago... even though you didn't pick up. Uh anyways, I wasn't ready for a relationship at that point and he went with me because I was afraid of going alone and... it felt wrong not to go at all. I had come to the park earlier that day too." He toyed with his jacket sleeve and looked at Heero out of the corner of his eye. "Is that why you filed for divorce?"
"Yes." Heero opened his Deer Park and swished the water around in his mouth for a moment. "It was the last straw for me, I guess. I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from."
"Yeah, I guess I do." Duo sighed again and Heero was beginning to wonder if he was doing it for dramatic effect. "I had wondered why you uh, did it, so soon after our anniversary. That kind of hurt."
"It should have hurt. It killed me to have to do it. By that time I had assumed that you forgot about me and didn't really care."
"Well that was a stupid assed thing to assume." Duo sat up and glared at him. "What the fuck did you think? That I broke up with you and then went out dancing every night in celebration?"
"The thought had crossed my mind."
"Well for your fucking information you asshole, I broke up with you and went to Hilde's house and cried for two weeks straight. I had to let my assistant handle the business and went on a short leave and everything." He flushed at the admission. "What, did you think that was fun for me?"
"The th--"
"--Had crossed your mind. Yeah, I get that." He glowered at nothing in particular. "God Heero, I fucking love you to death and you act like I'm some asshole who was all set out to hurt you."
"What did you expect me to think? Honestly? You walked out on me after what I thought had been two years of pretty goddamn awesome marriage and nine years of a great relationship. I didn't have any warning signs or signals and it caught me off guard. How did you think I was going to react or think?"
Duo winced and raked his hand through his hair. "I know, man but... I don't know. I just needed some time to--"
"Just forget it, Duo. I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Why not? Why can't we talk about it? We've never gotten the chance to sit down and talk about it!" He grabbed Heero's arm to prevent him from moving.
"Because there's nothing left to talk about. You've moved on and... so have I." A flat out lie.
Duo stared at him with wide eyes for a long moment and dropped his hand. "Oh. I see."
What? What did he see? Heero narrowed his eyes for a moment and realized that Duo probably thought he was with someone.
"Heh, guess I didn't really think you were like pining away for me all this time or something anyway, right? Smart, gorgeous guy like you and all..."
Never mind the fact that that was exactly what Heero had been doing. "That's not what you were doing, so why would you expect me to?"
Duo didn't say anything to that and started dragging his fingers across the side of the arch. He seemed completely mesmerized by it. That or he was avoiding looking Heero in the eye.
"I have to get back to work," Heero said and stood up. He left the bottle of water for Duo and brushed off his jeans. "It was interesting to see you again." He paused for a moment to see if Duo would say anything in return and when he didn't, Heero turned around and started away.
"Heero! I--"
Heero stopped walking.
"I'm so sorry for everything. You don't know just how fucking sorry I am." His tone was slightly shrill and desperate.
Heero didn't know what to say to that but for some reason the half of his heart that was left after being broken the first time felt like it had been torn in two again. He opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out and he clenched his hands into fists. He nodded curtly and started walking again.
"...Bye."
Duo's voice was thick and shaky and Heero had never been able to resist that tone. He stopped walking again and stared at the ground for a long time before slowly undoing his key chain and taking one of the keys off. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Duo was slumped against the arch and looking completely miserable.
"Call me. We can have lunch sometime." Duo's head jerked up and Heero offered him a small smile. He flung the key at Duo and the smile widened into a smirk when he saw the delighted look on his face. "Later."
Duo looked completely flabbergasted and he clutched the key as if it was his newborn child. "I--I-- Hopefully sooner than later!" He choked out. It was a line that the two of them had used on each other often in the old days.
Heero turned around and closed his eyes briefly before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away.
It was a start.
-End-