Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 probably... mainly for language.

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened?? - Chapter 24

"They're back... and they're alone." Buffy stated, spotting them as they rounded the corner at the end of the corridor. Watching as they made their way past the rows of lockers.

"Think they've killed her..?" Cordelia asked, moving out of the position she'd been holding. Jenny followed her down the steps and past the main table.

Buffy opened the door for them as they all strolled in. Faith walking to the table to unceremoniously dump most of the weapons on it, then making a space by pushing both the books and the weapons in opposite directions climbed on the table, and lay down on her back using three books as a pillow.

Giles watched her do so, and asked the question they were all thinking. "Did you find her..?"

"No joy, G-Man." Xander answered, heading his way unfastening his coat as he did so. "But we got this..." He said, removing the item from his coat. "The Glove of Mine-whatever-it-was, complete with previous owner."

Giles took it from him and looked distastefully at the skeletal remains.

"Smells too." Xander informed him, moving to one of the chairs.

"Right.. well." Giles attempted to remove the arm, eventually pulling so hard some of the fingers fell off when the arm left the protective gauntlet. Giles shook it upside down, causing the fingers to fall out on the floor.

"Ewwww..." Was Willow's response as she follow Giles into the office.

Giles picked up the book in one hand and held the glove in the other. "Nothing mentioned." He commented, "So I guess..."

He casually tossed the glove into the wok, watching as it started to heat up in the flame. The others gathered round to see the glove glow red, then a few minutes later small drops of metal could be seen collecting at the bottom of the wok.

Once all the remained of the glove was a lump of cooling metal at the bottom of the wok with the living flame buring above it, Giles took a small green powder from his desk and gently sprinkled it over the flame. The flame growing smaller as he did so. Eventually it was completely snuffed out.

"We should probably throw that away." Giles said, referring to the ruined wok.

"The dinner ladies must really hate you." Willow commented.

"So what now..?" Cordelia asked.

"Now we go back and wait for Ms Post to arrive searching for the glove." Jesse answered.

"You sure she's still going to go..?" Jenny asked.

"Me and Xan had trouble moving the stone lid between us." Jesse explained. "Faith did it fine, and I'm pretty sure that Lagos thing could probably have moved it easily too..." He trailed off.

"But Ms Post is going to need tools... right." Buffy said, agreeing with the assessment. "This time I'm definitely going to be there in case she turns up."

The Next Day.
Sunnydale High School Library.

"Anything..?" Giles asked, as Xander and Faith strolled into the room.

"Nothing." Faith responded. "We stayed out til three but we need to get some sleep before school." She added shrugging. "Course I was up for skipping it... but none of the others would back me up on it."

"I should hope not to." He replied, watching where Xander had moved over to the table and rested his head on his schoolbag.

"No Slayer stamina." Faith explained, noting where his eyes had gone. "Not that Buffy complains." She added, smirking as it caused Giles to look away. "You're gonna have to put up with more than that if you're going to be my Watcher." She paused, slightly unconfident of herself now. "You are going to be my Watcher, right..?"

"For the time being." Giles explained. "The Council have decided to leave you in my charge until they can assign a full time Watcher for you..."

"Good." Faith replied, causing a small smile to be seen on Giles' face.

"They've also reliably informed me that they will be sending full contact details and a photograph of whoever does get assigned to you, to ensure that the same thing doesn't happen again."

"Nice." Faith replied. "So we can find out the dirt before the next one arrives, eh..?"

"We can go check out the crypt during lunch." Giles tactfully changed topic.

"Not sure what good it's gonna do G." Faith mused. "If she's been she won't find it... and if she hasn't then we don't know when she'll return."

"We can at least check to see if the lids have been opened." Giles informed her. "That way we will know whether it's worth keeping an eye on that place in future."

"Okay... we'll check at lunch and give it a few fly-bys during patrol."

Later That Day.

"Hey Pete." Faith commented, gesturing for him to join her at the table.

"Hey." He replied, looking around. "I didn't see you at the Bronze on Saturday."

"I told you I didn't think I'd make it." She answered, giving him her brightest smile. "It's kind of cute that you missed me over the weekend though."

"Was looking for you at lunch." He replied.

"Yeah... had to do a few chores with my friends. Boring really." She waved it off.

"Cordelia..?" He asked.

"Buffy, Xander, Willow and Jesse... think Cordelia was at practice." She thought realising the other girl hadn't been around at dinner.

"She was." Pete answered.

She grinned, unable to resist the smirk. "You often go to watch cheerleaders..?"

"I was trying to spot you." He answered.

"Not a cheerleader, babe." She replied. "Sorry to disappoint."

"You couldn't disappoint me if you tried."

"You always this sweet with girls..?" She answered, flashing her brightest smile.

"Only ones I really like."

After School.
Von Hauptman Crypt.

"Well..?" Willow shouted from outside the crypt. "Anything..?"

"Nothing I can see has been moved." Jesse replied walking out, closing the door behind him.

"You sure it's safe..?" Willow asked. "To be checking this without a Slayer along is what I mean."

"It's still daylight." He responded. "And if Ms Post turns up then she has no magical glove to get us with."

"Still." Willow responded.

"You worry too much." Jesse told her, pulling her into a hug.

She tilted her head up for a kiss. "Mmmmm." She moaned against him. "I'm allowed to worry." She said, once they'd released each other.

"Just gotta finish this week of school then we're done for two weeks."

"Why does everything that cheers you up involve missing school..?" She asked him.

"Not everything." He said, sliding his hand down towards her ass.

"Behave." She swatted him lightly across one arm.

"Don't wanna." He said.

"You gotta." She countered.

"My parents don't get in from work for another two hours." He informed her.

"And we're in a graveyard, why..?" She asked, pushing him away and darting for his car.

"Now you're talking my language." He shouted, giving chase.

That Evening.
The Summers Home.

"Is it me or is Faith happier than usual..?" Joyce whispered to her daughter, watching Faith sing along to the hi-fi.

"Double celebration." Buffy confided. "Her Watcher turned out to be evil, and..."

"That's a cause for celebration..?" Joyce interrupted, confused.

"We didn't like her." Buffy explained. "And she isn't admitting this... but the guy that Cordelia set her up with spoke to her again today... I think she really likes him."

"You sure."

"I saw them sitting together in the quad. She hasn't mentioned it, but she's definitely been smilier since then."

"I'm glad to see life's looking up for her." Joyce smiled, glancing to where Faith performed a little spin. "And how's your love life going..?"

"Mom!!"

"Okay. If you don't want to talk about yours we could always talk about mine." Joyce responded.

"You have a love life..?" Buffy spluttered. "Not that you don't deserve one... or men wouldn't find you attractive or anything." She quickly rushed to correct her behaviour. "Are you sure he isn't a robot..? That's all I need to know, really... not robot, not demon... anything else we can take from there."

Joyce smiled back. "Buffy, you're hyperventilating. I thought having a daughter that went out slaying demons til the early hours might have more self-control."

"I do... I'm happy for you... really... when do I get to meet him..? I just need to make sure Giles is nearby to identify what he is so I know how to kill him."

"Buffy calm down," she instructed her daughter, trying to resist laughing. "I just wanted to run the idea past you that's all... make sure you're okay with it... Pat knows more people from here than I do, and some of them are lonely single parents like myself... so I was going to meet one of them... for drinks."

"It is a man, right..? There's nothing else you want to tell me..?" Pausing to think about it. "I didn't even know single moms came in male."

"It will be a man, yes. They do, and they're generally called single dads."

"Right... heard about them... thought they were a myth... like Santa." Buffy continued to babble.

"So you're okay with it... in theory..?" Joyce asked, needing her daughter to understand.

"Theory yes... we'll deal with the practical when it happens, and we've got past the non-supernatural criteria and moved onto making sure he treats you right."

"Buffy... I'm your mother... I may be a little out of practise, but I was going out on dates way before you were born."

"Firstly I didn't need to know that... still got mental scars from the band candy incident, so I know how you behaved when you were my age." Buffy responded, deciding not to embarrass her mother further she quickly moved on. "And secondly, this is a Hellmouth... if all three of the women in this house are dating then the odds are that at least one of us is out with a freak."

Joyce was about to respond when Faith walked in the kitchen to join them. "What's going on..?" Faith asked.

"Mom is considering dating." Buffy explained. "I'm teaching her to be wary of the Hellmouth badness."

"Yo, Mrs S... intending to get down and jiggy with it..." She winked at her. "Just say the word and we're out on late night patrols... no problems there."

"Faith!!!" Buffy shouted.

"Thank you, Faith." Joyce responded.

"No worries... sure you'd do the same for me." Faith commented. "Well maybe not patrol... but you know."

Buffy lowered her eyes to the floor, not believing this conversation was actually occuring with her mother present.

Joyce noticed Buffy's reaction and decided it might be time that her daughter's situation with Xander actually got discussed. "Well Faith, I'm not sure. I think it depends on what sort of relationship you were in with the person you'd be intending to bring back... now while I'm sure that this boy Cordelia set you up with is quite nice, I do have to take into consideration exactly how long you'd have been seeing him. Whereas any situation where you were in as long a lasting relationship as say... Buffy and Xander have been. Then it's very doubtful it would be a problem."

BUffy looked up at that last piece of information. However before she could respond, Faith had continued to take centre-stage. "To be fair Joyce, being a Slayer I don't know if I'll even get to live for that much longer. And by then, I'd be out of your hair anyway... so why don't we just agree on a set amount of time, that after that point it's okay for..."

Joyce grinned, admiring Faith's negotiating tactics. 'It might be an option to offer her part time work in the gallery.' Joyce considered before responding. "Not saying that I don't trust either of you, but I do remember how truth can be... flexible when you're a teenager. So obviously any length of time that we agree on... and by that I mean I agree on, would begin at the point you first bring them home for a meal... not from when you and Buffy state you started seeing so-and-so."

Buffy continued to watch the conversation with her mouth open. 'I'm not supposed to discuss things like that with my mother.' She thought to herself.

End chapter twenty four