Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 probably... mainly for language.

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened?? - Chapter 25

The Next Day.
Sunnydale High School.
The Library.

"So..." Giles began as he left his office, taking a quick look around at the students circling the table. Studying them all in their various degrees of attentiveness. Willow was looking on with wide open eyes, taking in each word he'd been saying. Jesse was sitting next to her, however he was less attentive, peering over at Faith wearing a smug grin while flipping him the bird for some reason or other. Sighing he moved his attention around to the remaining students, Buffy seemed happy to flick her attention between himself and then back to watching whatever Jesse and Faith were arguing about, beside her Xander was holding a crossbow upside down, shaking it occasionally. Obviously trying to figure out what was wrong with the firing mechanism. Cordelia was slightly paying attention, but she kept pushing all the pieces that rolled over back to his section of the table. Coughing to attract their attention, he continued. "So... we have no further leads on Ms Post?" He asked.

"None." Willow responded. "I did some brief checking on the internet last night. No one signed in using her name in any of the local hotels. I'm going to speak to Ms Calendar later about seeing if we can look into finding out what credit cards she was using... that way we can track her financially." She finished.

"What if she's using cash?" Buffy asked.

"We should be able to find out where she's withdrawing cash from." Willow explained, "Least that way we'll have an idea about which town she's in."

"She's still local." Buffy answered dismissively, turning her attention back to where Jesse was now flicking pieces of paper at Faith.

"You're certain..?" Giles asked, wondering if it was some form of Slayer intuition or something that gave Buffy the confident tone in her answer.

"Yep." She replied turning back. "Did a check this mornin..."

There was a loud noise where Xander had banged the crossbow on the table. "Sorry..." He said, looking around sheepishly.

"What are you doing..?" Faith asked.

"He's fixing it, can't you tell..?" Jesse answered sarcastically. "See all those metal pieces, they should be inside the crossbow... it won't work like that."

Faith threw her bag at him, almost knocking him off his chair. Buffy just smiled as he threw it back, Faith catching it casually.

"As you were saying..?" Giles tried to get the conversation back on track.

"Doesn't fire properly." Xander answered without looking up. "You pull the trigger and there's a small delay before it releases the bow."

"Not you." Giles clarified.

"The one I had kept going off." Cordelia turned to inform Xander.

"Which one was that..?" Xander asked, mentally adding it to the list.

"Are you certain it was the crossbow at fault..?" Jesse commented, ignoring Faith as she rolled her eyes.

"Yes I'm certain. And not sure..." Cordelia answered both questions, looking at each person as she did so.

Xander sighed heavily, and was surprised to find Giles doing so at the same time.

Glancing upwards he looked at Giles with what he hoped was going to be recognition in Giles eyes, but instead found a glare that seemed to be focused on Buffy.

"Right..." She said, trying to remember what he could be blaming her for. "Oh yeah. This morning... We took a quick run up to Restfield..."

"I drove." Xander muttered, ducking his head before Giles turned the glare his way.

Buffy smiled and patted him lightly on the arm, as his attention went back to where he was connecting what looked like a small hook back to the main part of the crossbow. "Xander met us there. We went to the Von Hauptman crypt again, and this time discovered it open... looking inside, all the lids had been thrown off the upper coffins, and the downstairs..." She paused trying to think of the technical term. "...bit, was in an even worse state."

"So she's returned..?" Giles asked.

"And from the mess, she may have got goons." Faith added.

"Where do they get goons from..?" Jesse mused aloud. "Can we find out where the source of all the goons are and stop them..?"

Willow turned to look at him.

"Hey it's a good idea..." He defended himself. "If we stop all evil people from managing to employ goons and vampire minions, they'd all be so much easier to deal with."

"I think that's why they get them in the first place." Willow stated.

"You really can't say goons." Buffy said, staring at Jesse. "Seriously, you can't pull it off... if I were you I'd make a mental note never to say it again."

"Like you said it any better." Jesse retorted.

"Guys... face it." Faith attracted the group's attention, seemingly taking on the role of peacekeeper in this debate. "None of you are as cool as I am." She finished.

Shaking his head, Giles began to give them final instuctions. "Okay, so she might be in town... and she might think we still have the Glove."

"If she read that book she'll know we know how to destroy it." Jesse corrected him.

"If she read that far." Giles replied. "She may have only read about the location before making her escape."

"And she might think we could be in two minds about whether or not to destroy it." Willow added.

"Whether she thinks we got it or not... we're on her shit list." Faith summarised for the group. "It all comes down to whether she leaves town or not... if she stays, she's coming after us... there's no other reason for her to stay."

"Quite." Giles replied, agreeing with Faith's assessment. "Everyone, we need to find out if she's still around, Willy might be a good person to check in with... especially if she's hired some g... help." He finished ignoring smug looks off both Jesse and Faith. "Willow, work with Jenny on finding Ms Post using that... computer thing... you suggested doing." He drifted off, brow frowning in concentration as he began to realise some other implications. He left the table, "Excuse me, I need to make a phone call."

"So I'm in the group that goes to see Willy?" Cordelia asked, realising that only Willow had been specifically given a particular job. "I can do that." She commented, glancing around at the others.

Xander threw the pieces of metal up in the air, letting them land noisely around the table. "I give up... I take it apart, clean everything and put it back together... yet it's still crap." Turning to see Giles heading towards his office, he shouted. "Have you got a manual..?"

Computer Room.
Computer Lesson.

"Hmmmm...." Willow began, peering intently at the computer screen. Which showed a list of local ATM machines. She entered another command, this time recieving a list of card numbers that had withdrawn money from a particular within the last twenty four hours. "Ms Calendar..?" She said softly, eyes never leaving the screen.

Cordelia turned at her friend's voice. She glanced around the room, noticing that the teacher was looking over the work of another student. Cordelia sat a little higher in her seat, allowing her to peer over the computer monitor. Harmony was the student currently capturing Jenny's attention.

Cordelia leaned her head round the side of the screen, quickly glancing at both women and getting eye contact with each of them. With Jenny she flicked her eyes in the direction of Willow, and with Harmony she gestured for Harmony to come talk to her.

Jenny gave a grateful glance too and moved over to Willow.

Harmony came closer. "What..? Aren't you too busy spending time with those losers..?"

Cordelia waved it off, as though it didn't matter. "Goss... you want it or not..?" She asked, knowing Harmony would be unable to resist.

Harmony's eyes lit up as she moved her chair closer to Cordelia, enabling them to whisper in hushed tones. "What goss..?"

"I'm officially back on the dating circuit." Cordelia answered.

"It's not Jesse or Xander, is it..?" Harmony said with some distaste.

Cordelia bit back her initial response and counted to ten. "No... you remember Scott Hope...?"

"Him..?" Harmony asked. "Haven't you dated him before..?"

"So..?" Cordelia replied. "He's cute... and anyway I figured if I'm going to start again, it might as well be with one of the nicer boys in the school."

"When you broke up he called you a snob." Harmony informed her.

"He never fitted in with the gang we were hanging around with..." Cordelia answered automatically. "The cheerleader and jock thing just wasn't his scene... so after Larry." She added, knowing the response she'd get.

"True... after Larry." Harmony agreed.

"That's why I'm hanging out with Xander and the others..." Cordelia lied. "They're more his type of people... he feels more comfortable there." She said, dismissing all her recent behaviour with a plausible excuse, least in Harmony's eyes. "Remember Harm... school's all about politics, and it's all about making people feel comfortable in their surroundings..." She continued, confident that Harmony was buying everyone word.

Meanwhile, Jenny had leaned over Willow. "Well?"

"I've got a list from each machine." Willow stated. "That's the local one's covered. So we'll know if she turns up here. Would need to write a different program for a more national search, that one isn't practical."

"Yes." Jenny agreed, quickly glancing over Willow's program. "I've got it setup to just do the bank that we know she's with at first... or was with." She thought aloud. "Make it so that we can get statements of any transactions from her account as the main bank find's out about them..."

"I've written this one to check every hour." Willow commented. "That way it provides a complete list of all withdrawals quickly."

"If it turns out she's not using any of the accounts we're familiar with, it's going to be far more difficult." Jenny answered, trying to find a natural starting point for such a task. "If nothing comes up in first few days then we need to rethink this whole thing."

Lunchtime.
Quad.

"So any luck..?" Jesse asked his girlfriend as she arrived at their table.

"It's working fine now." Xander answered automatically, only paying attention when Buffy slapped him gently on the shoulder. "What was that for?"

"Sweety, we're all very proud that you fixed the crossbow, but he was talking to Willow."

"Why what was she fixing..?" Xander asked.

"Not fixing... creating. And it was a computer program to find Ms Post." Willow informed him. "And if she's local we should be in the know... if she's left if could be more difficult." She said, answering the original question.

"If she's left I'm not too worried about it." Buffy commented. "Unless Faith decides she still owes her one, and wants to go hunt her across America."

"Talking Faith out of that is a job you're welcome to." Jesse stated, biting into his sandwich.

"How come I'm getting volunteered for that..?" Buffy asked, turning to pout at her boyfriend. Who merely leaned over and kissed her before shrugging and returning his attention to his own food.

"It might be that she's changed accounts and we don't know where she is." Willow answered.

"And on that cheery note." Xander stated through a mouth half full of food. When their attentions turned to him he gestured to where Cordelia and Faith were walking over to them, Cordelia linking arms with the boy seemingly attached to her, while Faith laughed at something the other guy said.

"Hey guys." Faith said, climbing up to sit on the table.

"Heya." Buffy responded with a grin.

"Scott, I believe you know everyone." Cordelia stated, waving her hand to gesture to the table full of people.

"Not really." He replied.

"Right, silly me." Cordelia said. "Right..." She began pointing towards each person in turn as she went round the table in a clockwise direction, each of them waving as their names were mentioned. "Willow. Willow's boyfriend Jesse. The one filling his face is Xander. And this is Buffy, Xander's girlfriend."

Buffy smiled back, nodding politely at Scott and then turning to face Faith with an expectant look on her face.

"What... me too?" Faith asked, shrugging. "Pete, the guys... the guys, Pete."

"Not sure I like being referred to as one of the guys." Willow said, quickly glaring at Faith.

Faith smiled, as she could tell there was no real heat in it.

"Hi." Xander said, offering his hand to be shaken. "I'm Guy number One." He declared first, sneering at Jesse.

"And I'm guy numbered Jesse." Jesse responded quickly, also offering his hand to both newcomers.

"Not-guy called Willow." She informed them, from her position on the chair.

"Just Buffy." Buffy stated, also shaking their hands.

"Right..." Scott said. Cordelia ushering him into one of the seats, a huge grin plastered on her face.

"So how do you guys all know each other..?" Pete asked, looking around the group.

"Grew up as childhood friends." Jesse replied, Willow and Xander nodding in agreement.

"I kinda knew them... but didn't." Cordelia semi-explained.

"Got to know them when I moved here." Buffy shrugged, trying to pass their little gang off as nothing special.

"Ditto." Faith said, leaning over to steal Xander's sandwich.

"That's mine." Xander tried to reach for it, but Faith held him off with her free hand.

"Mine now." She commented, taking a bite into the end he'd been eating from.

"It's got his germs on it." Willow commented.

"That's like you've kissed Xander." Jesse added in teasing tone.

"Hey..." Xander said loudly

"Is it..?" Faith stated, this time seemingly examining it more when she took another bite. "Thought so... Sloppy kisser..?" She asked, turning towards Buffy.

"Don't answer that..." Xander instructed her waggling his finger in her general direction. "Or you." He added, waggling it at Cordelia.

The group laughed at the light-hearted jokes at Xander's expense. None of them noticed the quick glare Pete sent his way.

End chapter twenty five