"I'll find her myself'" howled the Queen, as she stubbed her toe on the corner of her refrigerator. Then, she stepped on a rake, and it hit her in the face. She used a little magic to make herself look very old, and the bruise on her forehead go away and then dressed herself in peasant clothes, but for some reason her magic would not work.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, why will my magic not work at all? I rhymed again!"

And the mirror answered:

"You Queen, are creepy looking already. You could not GET any creepier looking, except for if you looked like Coal Black. But you cannot cheat your way into winning."

"Well why not?" the Queen cried. "The Queen of Spain does it."

"If the Queen of Spain jumped off a bridge would you do it too?" the mirror countered.

"No, I guess not," the Queen mumbled.

So instead, the Queen went out and bought "My First Disguise Yourself to Look Like a Hag" Kit, and used all of the makeup in there. She didn't have any time to work on the poison after that, so she just whipped something together with a little nutmeg and oregano.

Coal Black was feeling much better, and wasn't depressed anymore and promised she would not talk to anyone. Several weeks passed and everybody felt safe.

The vertically challenged people went to work, and into the forest walked an old woman collecting rocks shaped like Joe Pesci's head.

A knock at the upstairs window took Coal Black to the upstairs window, where she saw an old woman up on a ladder collecting potatoes that looked like rocks, that looks like Joe Pesci's head.

"May I have all of your potatoes that look like rocks, that look like Joe Pesci's head?" asked the old woman.

"No, those are my special potatoes. I collect them too." Coal Black said.

"Well, then can you just get me a drink?" the old woman asked.

"There's no harm in that, seeing as you're already drunk. Wait there." She left, then came back and handed a beer to the woman.

"Thanks doll," then all of a sudden the old woman fell off of the ladder, and then climber back up. "Wow, that was a close one. I almost fell that time!"

"Great, now I have to kill her," the old woman screamed.

"What did you say?" Coal Black asked.

"Oh, crap. I meant to whisper that," said the old woman. "I have to go now."

Then the woman hurled a bag of flour to the ground, and the woman vanished behind the dust. But, once the smoke cleared, the woman was still standing there, eating an apple.

"Um....that didn't work right. Can you just close your eyes while I run away?"

"Oh, ok..." Coal Black said and closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, the woman was still standing there.

"I forgot to tell you, eat this apple!" the woman said.

"No thank you," said Coal Black.

"They're lovely and ripe," said the old woman. "Try some of mine." She cut a piece from the apple she was eating.

'It must be safe,' thought Coal Black. 'She's eating the apple too.'

The Queen had very cleverly poisoned just one half of the apple - the half she cut off for Coal Black.

Coal Black took one bite and...and...nothing happened.

"You will die in seven days!" the woman murmured.

The old woman turned back into the wicked Queen.

"This time your friends won't be able to help you. Peace out!" the Queen laughed as she grabbed her bling-bling.