Whenever the 21st of October was mentioned, Remus grew anxious. No matter how many times he checked his chart of lunar phases, the full moon would point at that date. He checked the charts often, in hope that by magic there would be no full moon that month. He checked the charts for the following months and all the months after that, as far as the next century but each month revealed the same thing: a full moon. However long he was destined to live, he was destined to meet the full moon each month. He wondered if there would ever come a time that he wouldn't have to cling to his lunar charts with the hope that the full moon wouldn't arrive that month. He wondered if he would ever look forward to not being himself -- even if at this moment he didn't particularly like himself.
"You have to tutor me in Astronomy some time, Remus!" Peter exclaimed. "You're so far ahead of everyone else in the class. You must like it a lot, reading that book all the time." Peter watched him close his book and smile politely.
"Sure. Just let me know when you need any help."
"Thanks! Maybe when I don't feel so swamped with all this homework." Peter frowned.
Trying to keep his thoughts away from calendars and charts and lunar phases, he remembered the bet Peter hand made with James and Sirius the day before yesterday. He wished for his poor friend that Ravenclaw would come out winning the Quidditch final. Having the regular load of homework was more than enough for Peter. No, more than enough for anyone at Hogwarts -- even second years like themselves. Having to do the homework of two more students on top of one's own was nearly a death sentence. Would the other two be so cruel as to inflict such a punishment for a lost bet? The more he thought about it, the more it seemed to him that Peter shouldn't have suggested the idea in the first place and that he should get what he deserved for placing such a ridiculous bet. But it seemed that James and Sirius were likely to take advantage of the situation without giving it so much as a second thought. All in all, he remained satisfied that he didn't make such a bet. He didn't trust anyone with his homework, anyway. He was in the clear. Isn't that all he should be concerned with? Not that two of his friends might be taking advantage of another?
He sighed and took out his quill and parchment and began an essay for his Transfiguration class. He wrote "21 October 1972" as the date -- so much for forgetting that date for the moment -- and quickly scratched it out to replace it with the actual date: "16 October 1972" 16 October, 3 days after the first quarter, 5 days to the full moon, 12 days to last quarter, 21 days to new moon. He could give off the dates for the different phases in his sleep as easy as he could recite his times tables or any other easy mathematic formula he memorized. He wouldn't let it get in the way of his homework, though. Werewolf or not, he was obligated to turn in his assignments like all the rest of the students.
He noticed that, especially in his first year at Hogwarts, his teachers had cut him slack around the time of the full moon. They gave no hint of feeling sorry for him, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel that maybe they did. Really, he didn't know what they thought of him or what they said about him to each other. Obviously, they tolerated it, as they let him inside their class. Dumbledore tolerated his condition as well. The new headmaster was the only reason he was allowed to be admitted into Hogwarts. He wasn't too sure if this was a good thing or not. Would it not be better for him, instead, to live a life away from the public? Away from normal wizards? Perhaps there was a school for freaks and outcasts such as himself that his parents had overlooked? He was tempted to write to them first thing tomorrow to see if they would be willing to do some research for him.
He might miss his classes and his new found friends, but really, it was better in the long run to either be with his own or be completely alone. Perhaps his parents would send him off to a faraway land and lock him in the highest tower of an abandoned castle -- not unlike princesses in fairytales -- so he could wallow in his misery alone and not harm anyone.
"Did you being the essay for Transfiguration class yet, Remus?" Peter asked.
"I'm just about to start it."
"Oh. Just wondering." There was a pause and then he continued, "What do you think of that class?"
"Pretty decent. Hands-on, which I like."
"I know! It's much better than reading out of a textbook for the entire period. It's difficult, though."
"At times."
"What do you think Sirius and James are up to?" Peter asked nervously from his bed.
"I'm not sure. I haven't seen them." He hadn't seen them since dinner. Hadn't really given a thought about their whereabouts up until now. It was getting late, though, and they were fixing to get in trouble if they didn't return to their dormitory soon. There was little time left until the halls were meant to be cleared of all students.
"Do you reckon we should look for them?" Peter glanced at the clock.
"I..." Normally he wouldn't give it any thought. He would not leave his room so close to curfew, but the thought of Peter getting any more nervous than he already was was enough to get him out of bed and at least go downstairs to the library and surrounding halls to look for the two. "Yes. We'll search for a few minutes and if they don't turn up, we'll return here. No use in all of us being caught after curfew. If they're wandering the halls, they're likely to be caught by Filch, don't you think?"
"Right." Peter agreed and waited for Remus to make the first move out of the room.
The crowd in the Gryffindor common room was finally breaking up, he noticed. One of the older boys questioned what they were doing leaving their area, but neither of the two answered him in fear of being questioned even further. Besides, they weren't prefect or Head Boy. That meant it was none of his business, as far as Remus was concerned. Although, really, Remus wanted to tell someone that James and Sirius weren't back yet. He'd get laughed at for sure. Those two were known for mischief and breaking rules. The fact that he was on the look out for the troublemakers was enough to send his anxiety level soaring.
Peter on his tail wasn't helping the matter any, either. At any creak in the floor, Peter would moan in fear and creep even closer to him. It wasn't that Peter was scared that annoyed him -- he had the right to be especially with Filch on rounds -- but the fact that he was so close that he was almost touching him was unnerving. No one else besides his parents had dared to get that close to him. He had the thought of shooing Peter away but that might make matters worse.
"W-Where do you think they are?"
"I don't know!" Remus grumbled from the side of his lips. "Maybe we should... keep quiet?"
"Right!" Peter exclaimed. "Er, right." He whispered.
They made their way down the stairs and headed towards the library. He didn't know why he'd check there first, the likelihood of either of them being in the library was very slim, but that would be one of the few places they would be permitted to be at this time if they did not have detention.
"They could have detention." He said just loud enough for Peter to hear.
"I don't..." Peter quieted, "I don't think so. Do you recall anyone giving them detention?"
"Well, put it this way: when don't they have it?"
"True. But I know for certain they didn't have it tonight." Peter whined.
"I didn't think so." They entered the library and took a quick look around. No James or Sirius to be found, only a few lingering students. Mostly, older students deep in study or deep in other things. He passed over a girl and boy smiling and playing footsies under the table. "C'mon, they're not in here." Remus said, frustrated. "I have a good mind to turn around and go back to our dorm!"
"NO! Please, let's look around for just a few more minutes. I have a bad feeling. They don't have detention and well, they didn't let me know of any pranks they were up to... and they're never shy about that. I'm thinking that they might be in trouble."
"Do they usually tell you of their pranks?"
"Well, not all the time but as I said they're not so secretive of them, either. They talk about them openly in the dorm and even in the dining hall."
Peter was right. They were rather open about their pranks and mischief. He couldn't even count how many times he overheard them about this or that. He racked his brain to see if he could come up with any clues that they were up to something, but nothing came to mind. Maybe they really were in trouble at some random, abandoned part of the castle with no one to know where they were. Remus couldn't live with himself if he found that they were harmed in any way and he did nothing to locate them. Perhaps Peter felt the same and that was why he tried to bring up conversation back in the dorm. It wasn't his homework that he was overly concerned with, it was his new friends that was troubling his friends. So, this was what having friends was like. He looked at Peter, meaning to smile, but decided to keep a straight and concerned expression on his face.
All of a sudden, he didn't mind that Peter had grabbed his jumped as they approached a turn in the hallway. Just as he lifted his finger to his mouth to indicate silence, he heard a voice from around the corner.
"Expelliarmus!"
"Damn you, Snape!" He recognized the second voice as that of James.
Peter gasped, and again, Lupin lifted his finger to his lips. He crept to the corner of the hall and held out his hand to stop Peter from stepping any further. He peeked around the wall and saw a very angry Snape holding out his want out to James' and Sirius' face. Their wands had been expelled from their hands and onto the ground nearby.
"Hum..." Snape mused, stroking his chin as if he had a beard. "What shall I turn you pathetic losers into? Something slimy, I think!"
"That's more along your personality, Snivellus!" Sirius spat. Snape seemed to be extremely angered by the "Snivellus" remark and clutched his wand even tighter. He moved closer in on the two unarmed boys.
"I think you're on to something, Black! Perhaps you're not fit enough to be an amphibian." Snape's eyes were wide. Remus could smell fear on all three boys, but Snape's was the greatest. James and Sirius might be bold enough to jump at Snape, but Snape was readied with his wand. What he would actually do with the wand was anyone's guess, but Remus didn't want to wait and find out. He removed his own wand from his cloak, held the wand out, pointed at Snape and shouted, "Expelliarmus!"
Snape's wand was flung from his tight grasp. He didn't even have the chance to see who cast he spell. James and Sirius didn't waste a second to look either. They rushed at the boy with all their might and pushed him against the wall. It was only when Snape sunk to the ground, defeated, that they looked over to Remus and Peter. Peter had at some point crept up to him, seeing that he was no longer in danger.
"Lupin!" Sirius exclaimed. The two relieved boys stood in their place, waiting for Peter and Remus to reach them. "That was brilliant!"
"Yeah, thanks. I wasn't sure if Snape actually had the courage to go through with it at first, but towards the end there he looked very determined to turn us into frogs." James added. He turned to retrieve the two expelled wands and stopped when he noticed the third, Snape's. " I think we should take this with us as well. What do you think?"
"Ha!" Sirius laughed. "Definitely. He won't think of it until it's too late." He grinned evilly.
"Oh! I'm so glad you two are okay!" Peter spoke up. "I knew something was up. Thank goodness we came looking for you!"
"Good thing." Sirius agreed, but proudly added, "Although, I think we could have handled this waste here." He kicked at Snape's foot. The boy didn't move.
"Yeah, definitely." James chimed in. "It was just a matter of time before we sprung up at him." Remus almost laughed. He wanted to remark that they looked pretty scared to him, but he kept quiet and let them have their moment. He watched James pick up all three wants. "What should we do with him?"
"Leave 'im here." Sirius frowned. "He'll snap out of it soon and find himself face to face with Filch --- not to mention at least a week's worth of detention for being caught out of his dormitory after curfew."
James laughed. "We should get upstairs before we're noticed, too. It's nearly curfew."
The four agreed and walked along quietly when they approached the other students returned to their dorms, all with expressions of relief.
Sirius walked up closer to Remus and bumped shoulders as he whispered in his ear, "Mischief managed." He winked, holding up Snape's wand.
"What'll we do with it?" James whispered from his bed. Remus looked over to see James lying with his head at the foot of his bed, Snape's wand in his hands this time. Lights were out. The moon gave off the only light coming into the room. It was late, he thought, for James to be awake.
One-thirty a.m. 17 October, four days to full moon.
"Well, we obviously have to jinx it." Sirius was sitting at the foot of James' bed, watching James twirl the wand aroun.
"We could make it grow sprouts, like a twig, instead of releasing a spell for next time he uses it. And every time after that. It does look... kinda twiggy." James suggested.
"Yeah, that would be funny, but it's not enough. We have to think of something better." Sirius responded.
"Well, what do we do, then?" James questioned. "Break the thing? That will wreak all sorts of havoc."
"No, we can't just break it! That would be too obvious. What are we supposed to do? Just hand him a broken wand back? We'll get in trouble for sure."
The two remained quiet for a few minutes, staring at the wand. There were infinite amounts of possibilities... infinite... finite... "Finite Incantatum!" Remus exclaimed, making the two boys jump up.
"What?" James asked.
"Finite Incantatum! Stops effects of spells." Remus sat up in bed. "I don't know if it would work on a wand, but it's worth a try. Let me have a look at the wand." He met James halfway and grabbed hold of Snape's wand, only to put it down on his nightstand. The two boys stepped close behind him. He took out his own wand and with a pause --- he wasn't really doing this, was he? ---- and after a deep breath, he belted out, "Finite Incantatum!"
There were no visible effects on the wand at the moment. The three boys watched it, as if it might jump out at them. "Let's see if it worked." Sirius picked up Snape's wand as Remus turned around. "I shall try to expel the wand from your hand. Ready?" Remus held his own wand up, at the same time Sirius did, and without any notice, the boy cast, "Expelliarmus!"
He jumped as if he thought the wand would soon go flying away from his hand, but nothing happened. His spell had worked! The two boys in front of him jumped up and down, but they were careful not to shout. "Ohhhhhh ho!" Sirius laughed. "I can't wait to see the look on Snape's face when he finds his wand no longer works."
James' expression became serious. "The only thing is, as you mentioned before, we can't just hand him back his wand. He'll know for sure that we've done something with it. We have to get it back to the hall somehow. Just toss it somewhere in the general area we were standing with him. They'll be looking for it in the morning when Snape realizes it's missing."
However, no one was ready to volunteer. They had nearly risked trouble before curfew and now that it was well into the night, no one wanted to be caught. Sure, they could come up with excuses as to why they were out wandering the halls at nearly two in the morning, but no one would believe them. Remus might have a legitimate excuse. The staff was aware of his condition and possible strange behaviors close to the full moon. He could very well be "sleepwalking" or sickly and on the way to the infirmary and they might not even second-guess him. "I'll do it."
James and Sirius stared at him, wide-eyed. "You don't have to get in trouble for us, Lupin. It's really not worth it. We should just toss it over the staircases and let it land somewhere at the bottom and be rid of it."
"Right at the bottom of Gryffindor staircases? Nowhere near where I expelled it? That's a bit shady, isn't it? Then we'll all get into trouble. No use all of us getting in trouble. They might let me off a little easily since it's my first offense." He dare not explain his true plan. "That's if they catch me."
"If you think it's worth the risk." Sirius frowned.
"Sure, why not. Mischief feels good." He half lied. He grabbed the wand from Sirius' hand and walked out of the room before they could convince him otherwise.
His heart was still racing even after he had been lying in bed for an hour. His trip back to the hallway by the library went off without a hitch. He wasn't sure why he wasn't caught, but he was grateful no one had caught him. He didn't know what lie he would come up with to save his face or maybe he could lie but whoever confronted him wouldn't believe him. He didn't want to think about that right now. All that mattered was that we was safe in bed and finished with all the excitement.
All he needed was some comfort now. How was he to find comfort at two-thirty in the morning? He sat up, not knowing what else to do, and watched his friends as they slept. They all fell asleep so easily after that. He wished he were as strong as them, to be able to fall asleep after having nearly risked their education at Hogwarts by hurting another student. They weren't to be blamed, were they? Snape had it coming to him, especially after what he tried to pull off, but what provoked him to poke his wand at their faces? Surely he couldn't have cornered the two so easily. Maybe he underestimated Snape's abilities. The boy did do well in his classes, especially when it came to defenses, so was it more likely that Snape was defending himself against the two, even if they were unarmed? He thought about asking Snape himself, but didn't know if he should press the matter so soon after the incident.
Still, this shouldn't be the issue at the moment to be so concerned with. He took out his quill and a piece of parchment from his nightstand and began to write to his parents:
Dear Mum and Dad,
I thought that I would write to you about something that has been bothering me. Although I am appreciative of you sending me to Hogwarts and being sure of my safety here, I am wondering whether Hogwarts is the proper place for someone with my condition? I would like to ask you to further your research of schools that tend to people with like needs and concerns. Please write back soon with your thoughts.
Yours, Remus.
He put his quill down and lay the piece of parchment underneath one of his books so that he could send it out first thing tomorrow morning. What would they think of this letter? He yawned and lay down again, ready for sleep at last. He was too tired to keep his eyes open, let alone question the letter he just wrote. He fell asleep soon after.