Author: mkcrl120
Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.
Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.
Rating: 15 probably… mainly for language.
Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.
What The Hell(mouth) Happened?? - Chapter 29
Summers House.
Later That Night.
"Hey, B." Faith shouted as she heard her fellow Slayer enter the house.
"Shhh...." Came the immediate reply. Glancing at the clock on the mantlepiece, she quietly added. "It's half one... mom'll be asleep."
"I think we're okay." Faith added, instructed Buffy to sit by patting the sofa next to her. "So... successful..?" She asked cautiously.
"What..?" Buffy threw her coat onto the other chair as she dropped heavily onto the space next to Faith. "Oh the woman... yeah, we saved her."
"You don't sound happy about it..?"
"Jonathan set it up."
"A trap..??" Faith asked, turning quickly to face Buffy. "What was it this time?"
"No..." Buffy sighed wearily. "It's worse than that... the trap wasn't for us. Instead of going hunting, Jonathan's worked a way to order take out."
"Eh..?" Faith scrunched her head up in concentration. "I take it you're not talking about intercepting deliveries from the local blood bank."
"That would be preferable to this." Buffy answered. "Least then we'd know who to be on the lookout for... no, Jonathan's way means that anyone who makes housecalls for any reason is a potential meal."
"What????" Faith shouted loudly.
"Shhh..." BUffy began, but paused as she heard the bathroom door shut upstairs.
"Night girls." Joyce's voice was heard from upstairs.
"Night." Faith shouted back.
"Night Mom." Buffy called, then turning to whisper while glaring at the other girl. "You woke her up."
Faith merely smirked back.
"You're happy you woke her up..?"
Faith dismissed the comment and returned her attention back to the television. "Can't wake her up if she hadn't been to bed yet."
"She stayed up worrying about us..?" Buffy asked. Realising it was a lot earlier than they normally got in. "You think she does that everynight..?" She asked, giving a concerned look in the direction of the staircase.
"If she's been up to that every night, then she's a very lucky woman." Faith offhandedly said, eyes never leaving the television.
"What was that supposed to mean..?" Buffy responded in an annoyed tone.
"B... I was in before your mom was." Faith answered, smirk never leaving her face. "And that's something I never thought I'd say."
"She was out..? But... vampires... dangerous out alone." Buffy drifted off.
"Also, not out alone... someone dropped her off."
"Who..?" Buffy asked quickly. "My mom has a social life..?" She muttered to herself under her breath.
"I didn't get a look in the car. But from the look on her face I think your mom has a possible love life." Faith grinned back.
"What..? No..." She finished confidently, shaking the thought off.
Faith continued regardless. "Remember her conversation the other day..? And she's in good shape for her age... all her parts are in working order. You can't blame her for answering a bootie call."
"My mom does not answer bootie calls." Buffy winced at the thought. "I've accepted she has sex in the past... back when she was younger... and still married to my dad. But she's past that now. She lives her life through me, and the gallery and stuff..."
"She's younger than Giles." Faith countered. "You think he isn't bending the computer teacher over a desk any chance he gets."
"This is my mom... and thanks for that mental image." Buffy shuddered. "That's gonna stick with me for days."
"You weren't there for the live show..." Faith grinned. "I dunno what you have or haven't been doing with your boytoy, but his eyes almost popped out of his head when we walked in on that."
"That was different... they were under the influence of mystical chocolate." Buffy remembered her boyfriend's comments. "He still won't enter Giles' place without knocking first."
"And you do remember why you sent him with me don't you..?" Faith raised her eyebrow as she asked the question.
"That wasn't mom either, that was some crazy mentally-teenaged version of her..."
"Deeee-looosh-er-nal..." Faith teased in her best Ace Ventura voice, before pausing to think. "How old is Joyce anyway..?"
"I am not delusional... and what the hell does her age have to do with it..?"
"Just wondering... I'd say late thirties... possibly forty." Faith commented to herself. "I just reckon she's still in her sexual prime..." Faith drifted off.
"Not hearing this..." Buffy walked off holding her hands over her ears. "My mom is not having sex... with anyone... especially anyone who'd probably be some evil demon of some sort..."
As she got to the bottom of the stairs called back. "I'm never gonna sleep now... you've left me with thoughts... bad ones."
"I like having bad thoughts." Faith smirked after her, waiting til she'd gone then began to start flicking channels, looking for something better to watch.
The Master's Cave.
"The Glove..?" Post asked, staring at the dark vampire who'd caught her crossing the graveyard.
"We went to where you said it was." Trick answered, "The Slayers practically camped there for a few nights... we got in, but there was no sign of it."
"What glove..?" Jonathan asked confused.
"She told me about a glove." Trick answered, eyes never moving from where they were locked with Gwen's. "When she was begging for her life..."
"That life..." Post replied, getting angrier with each word. "That wasn't a life... following in good old daddy's footsteps into an occupation that I didn't want. But it was useful... oh yes, it was useful." She drifted off, staring at a piece of wood on the ground. Looking like part of the remains of an old church organ. Watching her hand as she squeezed it tightly, splintering the wood into many fragments, smiling at her newfound sense of power. "Useful indeed."
"Okay... erm... keep crushing the wood." Jonathan stared at his partner in disbelief, grabbing the larger man by the arm as he dragged him out of the makeshift room. "What's with the glove obsession..?"
"She knew of a glove that could fire lightening bolts." Trick began.
Jonathan's eyes lit up. "That would have been so cool... pity you couldn't find it..." Shaking his head as he moved onto a new topic. "Never mind that. What are we gonna do when the Slayers come looking for her..?" Jonathan sighed. "She can't stay here... it's too risky."
"The Slayers won't be coming after her." Trick answered. "Unless they're coming to stake her."
"Yes... she's a vampire now... I get that." Jonathan waved it off. "But we turned one of their Watchers. They're gonna be seriously pissed."
"She already betrayed them... what we have here is a rogue Watcher." Trick responded. "She was looking for the glove to give her power over her idiot companions. So I did what she wanted... I gave her power."
"Yes... you made her a vampire... virtual immortality and all that... very good." Jonathan replied dismissively. "But the only thing she had of any use is already in the hands of the Slayers."
"Actually it's likely that they've already destroyed it." Post corrected him as she joined them in one of the larger chambers.
"Even better." Jonathan finished sarcastically. "So we can't even attempt to steal it."
"If she knew about that, she may know about other things." Trick tried to persuade his colleague.
"Know about other things..?" Post laughed as she uttered the comment. "I've had things like that drummed into me my whole life... various teachers telling me what damage they could do in the wrong hands... and how it was our responsibility to ensure that never happened." She paused as if composing herself. "You know... now I'm on the other side of the line... all their nightmare scenarios... well they sound kind of fun."
Trick gave Jonathan a questioning look.
Grinning back, Jonathan turned to her. "Fun, eh..? Well I'm always up for some of that... what did you have in mind?"
"The amount of stuff that I can think up that you can't yet concieve of, well it's outstanding."
"We want examples..." Trick pushed her for explanations.
"Do you even know how many mystical objects that are reputed to exist... of course not."
"How many are useful to us..?" Jonathan clarified.
"Many can be used by vampires... the Glove of Mynhegan for one." She paused, drifting off remembering a few other things that the Council had mentioned over the years. "Do you have any books..? Specifically one's that the Watcher's Council wouldn't have gotten their hands on."
"Ermm... the Master had some. As did Kakistos... always have one eye on a prophecy or so he used to say." Trick said dismissively. "But there isn't much useful in them."
"You haven't viewed them with trained eyes." She answered. "I'd like to see some for myself."
"Sod the books." Jonathan responded. "Tell us something that's actually useful."
Grinning she replied to him. "Get me some books to start with... and I'll fill you in on some information regarding Slayers that you might find handy to know."
Sunnydale High School.
The Library.
The Next Morning.
"So... you're telling me that Jonathan is ordering unsuspecting people to their deaths..?" Giles asked looking around at the students spread out in front of him, he held his glasses between the two smallest fingers in his left hand and rubbing his forehead with the forefinger and thumb.
"Yep." Buffy answered calmly. "That would have been my reaction too... you know if I had sight problems."
"Willow isn't sure that we can keep a track of all the orders to stop this being successful." Jesse answered.
"You'd have to cover all the fast food joints, plumbers, electricians, emergency doctors... hell... you'd even have to check all shops that offer home deliveries." Xander explained.
"You don't think we can stop it..?" Jenny asked her student.
"I could thereotically set up searches warning us of anything ordered in the name of Levinson or Trick." She quickly clarified, "Ignoring anything for Levinson not sent to his parents address obviously."
"So what's the problem..?" Cordelia asked.
"That's two names... we don't even know the names of the other people they've sired." Willow added. "And considering the searches we currently have ongoing still haven't brought any news of Ms Post."
"Hey... they'll work eventually." Jesse reassured his girlfriend.
"Yep... you and Ms Calendar are the computer gurus." Buffy agreed, "You said Jonathan was geeky, but his skill wasn't anything compared to yours."
"He was a B student at best." Jenny confirmed, "But just cos he probably couldn't do the same, doesn't mean he couldn't think up the possibility."
"So..?" Cordelia asked.
"It might mean he gets inventive with names." Willow answered with a sigh. "And at that point the best we could do is keep a track of people who don't return from making home visits."
"Which effectively gives us a list of dead people." Jenny reluctantly conceded.
"Or a possible list of the locations he's using." Giles replied, trying to keep the room positive.
"Pretty high price to pay Giles." Faith stated, fed up with the defeatist topic. "Did you know that the Magic Box in town sells real magical shit..?"
"What..?" Giles asked.
"Yep." Jenny replied at the same time.
Giles turned to face her. "What..?" He repeated.
"It's been around for years." She waved offhandedly. "It caters for most clients. They would be the problem, not the shop. How did you find out..?"
"We were snooping around the area, trying to distract the guys." Faith shrugged, "That was the only place open so they suggested we see if someone was robbing it."
"Erm... what 'guys'?" Giles asked.
"Was a bit worried incase it turned out to be... you know." Faith answered. "Was cool though, just an all-nighter."
"How did you know it was real..?" Jenny asked confused.
"Was it a Slayer sense..? Did all the hairs on the back of your neck go prickly..?" Giles asked excitedly, picking up a paper and pen waiting eagerly for more info.
Jenny looked at the items in his hand then met his eyes, revealing a slight smirk as she did so.
"Nah..." Faith shook her head indicating nothing of the sort. "I thought it was kinda gimmicky but it got the boys attention so I figured what the hell right..?" She opened her arms, giving a sort of 'no harm, no foul' gesture. "Then C here, whispers that some of the shit was real, so we left before they accidently bought some portal to another dimension or something... no offense, C."
"You recognised that items wer..?" Giles asked in shock.
"Hey!!!" Cordelia interrupted. "I know an Orb of Thesulah when I see it, okay..?"
End chapter twenty nine