Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?
Author: mkcrl120
Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.
Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.
Rating: 15 probably… mainly for language.
Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.
What The Hell(mouth) Happened?? - Chapter 33
That Evening.
Summers House.
"Here you go girls." Joyce said as she passed them both plates of Chicken Casserole.
"MMmmm." Faith said carrying it over to the dining table, savouring the smell as she inhaled deeply. "Cheers Joyce."
Buffy took her own plate and placed it down, glancing backwards to where her mother was standing empty-handed. "Not having anything mom..?" She called back.
"I'm eating with Pat tonight." Joyce informed them.
"Sure it's Pat..?" Faith asked with a smirk.
"Yes." Joyce replied smiling at Faith's teasing. "Tonight it's Pat."
"So when wasn't it Pat..?" Buffy asked, refusing to let go of the topic now it had been brought up.
"Yesterday." Joyce answered, smiling at the memory. "Yesterday, it wasn't Pat."
Faith looked up from where she was devouring her meal to give the elder woman a wink.
"So who was it yesterday?" Buffy continued with her line of enquiry.
"A friend of Pat's."
"Does the friend have a name..?" Buffy asked.
"B.. you need to let go..." Faith sighed wearily, adding in mocking tone. "You need to understand that your mom has hit the age... well where she becomes interested in people of the male gender. You may find her going on those things that you will grow to know as dates..." Leaning in close with an overly loud conspiratorial whisper. "You may find she participates in activities that you and Xander also find enjoyable."
"Stop it." Buffy turned to her fellow Slayer, while Joyce laughed.
"She may even know what bases refer to what..." Faith added.
"Shut up."
"Faith..." Joyce admonished. "Don't tease Buffy like that, it's not nice."
Faith pouted in response returning her attention back to the remains of her food.
Buffy's by comparison was hardly touched. "Thanks mom."
"Pat's friend did indeed have a name and I, for one, thought he," she added emphasising the word, "had a very nice one."
Buffy went goggle eyed while Faith had to stop herself from spitting her food across the table. Joyce blushed at her unintended double entendre and refused to make eye contact with her daughter.
"Now excuse me girls..." She said, silently willing the blush to fade. "I need to go over to Pat's so that we can do the girly-talk thing where we gossip about the previous night."
Buffy was still sitting there open-mouthed, unable to form a coherent come-back.
"See Faith. You should tease her like that." Joyce stated without any hint of shame before leaving the room and heading up the stairs to get ready.
"G-g-girl t-talk..?" Were the first words out of Buffy's mouth as she watched her mother depart.
"That's what you do after a hot-date right?" Faith stated. "I do believe it was you that told me it was your right as a best friend to get the gossip after I'd returned from seeing Pete."
"G-g-gossip." Buffy repeated.
"You don't think Pat's demanding the same..?" Faith asked, getting up and checking the oven to see if there was any more casserole.
"My mother does not... she... well she doesn't..." Buffy attempted to form her first sentence in a short while.
Faith answered scooping herself another half-plateful of casserole. "B... reality check... She may not have for a while... but if she isn't already, then she probably will be soon."
"But she... wouldn't." Buffy looked to her companion for reassurance.
Faith looked thoughtful. "Yeah... you're probably right. I doubt she is yet." Faith commented, ignoring Buffy's growing grin. "At their age, there's probably less rush... I think you're mom's the type of classy lady that would definitely hold out til the third date... definitely." Faith finished confidently.
"There will be no third date." Buffy stated defiantly.
"B... don't you want your mom to be happy... like ever?" Faith quietly said in a serious tone, making the other girl feel guilty.
"Yes..." Buffy reluctantly answered in a defeated tone.
"Then chill out. Let her have her fun... she's covered better than most right..? She brings him here and it turns out he's not dating within his own species... well, we're both here to deal... she knows who to call if she gets that kinda trouble."
"Yes." Buffy agreed, her brain locking down on the thought of killing this mom-seducing demon.
"And while you're chilling out..?" Faith asked, attracting Buffy from her inner thoughts. "You think you're gonna want any more when you've finished that plate..? Or shall I just have the rest of this now..?"
Giles Residence.
Similar Time.
Giles heard the raised voice coming from the kitchen. "It is important!"
Sighing, he turned his attention back to the television. "I wish we could have gone to see her uncle in person." He muttered to himself.
"I know he's gone!" The female voice in the other room said. "That doesn't mean that it woul... it doesn... yes." It drifted off quietly, obviously listening to the person on the other end.
He quickly turned the television off, awaiting the arrival of his partner. As expected she walked in a few seconds later looking a mix of extremely annoyed and slightly defeated.
"He says the spell is lost..." She muttered, apparently to herself.
Taking this as an introduction to a conversation, he turned to face her and gave her a reassuring smile. Which she did not see as her eyes were staring directly at hers hands that were resting on her lap. Sighing he lost the smile and began again.
"Did it sound like he was lying..?" He tried, instantly wincing as he realised that probably wasn't the best opening line.
"I don't know." Jenny replied, her voice didn't sound like it was taking any offence to the question and answered it accordingly. "How am I supposed to know..? He could have been lying to me since he brought me here... I don't know what to believe any more."
"You lost your temper with him rather quickly." Giles stated.
"He was the one trying to get me to return to the family..." Jenny replied. "They said my time was over... with Angelus gone... Angel, god they still refer to him by the name that the demon went by..." She said, standing up and waving her arms around.
Giles was glad that at least she was being animated. She never backed down from arguments with him, whether they were generally playful or heart-wrenching-would-their-relationship-survive-this ones. Seeing her in a defeated posture always chilled him to the bone.
"That... that... that..." She began, anger growing each time she repeate the term.
Giles got up off his own chair and stood facing her.
"What the fuck is his problem..?" She shouted, throwing her hands up in an exasperated gesture.
Giles had to fight the grin; she was swearing now, always a good sign when it came from her. It was quite rare and normally meant that she was fully ready for a fight, no matter who the opponent was.
"I mean... what the fuck is wrong with them..? Honestly, answer me that if you can." She turned to face him defiantly.
"What's wrong with any of them..?" He repeated, "As you mentioned earlier today... they do have a lot in common with the Council; and I can't say I understand any of them."
"Precisely." She agreed enthusiastically, believing he'd hit the nail on the head. "They're so... so... fucking inbred with their need to follow tradition, they can't think outside of it even if it means we can actually save lives... I mean... how can you compare following the methods of some centuries dead asshole to actually changing a few little things and managing to save people... real living people... who are alive now."
"Quite." Giles nodded his agreement. Knowing better than to disturb her when she was in full flow.
"I mean you... you're reluctant to make changes yourself... but at least they're crappy little admin changes... they don't actually risk anyone's life."
Giles didn't comment, feeling slightly chided even if he didn't wholeheartedly agree with the accusation.
"I do it too... me... the one who calls you on your little problems... I followed their instructions and didn't tell anyone who we were so as not to put us at risk or to incur the wrath of the demon... Angel... Angel had no real wrath... Spike and Drusilla, they were someone to avoid... Darla, she was majorly pissed when they gave Angel a soul... now she, they were quite right never to allow her to find out we were the surviving Kalderash clan... but Angel... he was harmless. First time they took me to see Angel, to tell me about my destiny was about eight years ago... I studied but that was the first time I'd actually seen him... he was eating rats in New York... they were frightened of someone who lived off vermin. What's wrong with them."
Giles blinked, trying with difficulty to follow this wandering trail of logic.
"But no... I suggest letting us have a copy of the ensouling document so that we can see if we can ensoul others... recruit people to actually help with the fight against the darkness, and they deny it." Making her voice deeper and doing an impression that Giles assumed was her uncle. "'No, that's not a good idea Janna.' Idiots."
"I often think the same thing about the Watchers Council." Giles said, trying to add something worthwhile.
"Them as well!!! That Cruciamentum thing." Jenny began, face wincing in disgust as she recalled the details Giles had provided to her that afternoon. "That's fucking inhumane. We're not doing that." She stated defiantly, noticing he was about to comment she quickly cut him off. "But that's for another day... we can tackle that closer to the time. Today we need to deal with this..." She drifted off.
Giles looked thoughtful. "Have you been drinking..?" he carefully asked.
"I had to... just a small glass of whisky while I was talking to that man." She commented.
"You haven't eaten yet." Giles reminded her. "We'll get some food into you, and it'll be..."
"I only had one... I not pissed... just pissed off." She commented. "Well my uncle wasn't much use was he... time to call Nanna Kalderash."
"Your grandmother's name is Nann... forget I said anything." Giles commented, shaking his head at his actions.
Maria Locans Apartment.
She sighed looking at the clock again. "Still seven thirty." She commented, wishing time would hurry up. Yet still trying to grasp onto what remains of her innocence.
"From what that Giles man said earlier, I think this is gonna be big." She commented to herself. Running through her mental checklist one last time.
"Cold beers in the fridge, check... makes for a friendlier atmosphere and might be necessary... stay away from anything stronger just incase you then don't believe it tomorrow and have to go through this whole thing again."
Looking around the room, she double checked everything had been cleaned to her satisfaction.
Now she was doing what he'd told her. Waiting for their arrival to give her a more full briefing on the whole thing.
"I don't want to know more about this sort of thing..." She almost cried out loud. "I want reassurances that this isn't real. That what almost happened to me last night wasn't real."
She continued to sit there clock watching until there her doorbell rang. Standing up she mentally composed herself before heading towards the main door.
Remembering what they told her in last night, and had given her further hints on earlier. She stood on the inside of the door, making no move to reach for the handle. Wishing she'd had a spyhole installed at some point she called out, trying to make it sound as casual as she could. "Yes..? Who is there..?"
End chapter thirty three
A/N: Remember at this point, although the Cruciamentum has been mentioned twice in the story now (both by Jenny and ages ago by Post)... if this had taken place directly in place of the Wish episode - no-one (majority of characters and even the viewers) would have had a clue what they were talking about if they even heard the word. (I'm cruel like that).
A/N2: Maria Locans is starting to grow on me as a character (I wish they wouldn't do that), so I can honestly say that as I finished writing this chapter I don't know who is at the door or whether or not she gets to survive...