hey people, thanks for waiting for so long... writers block is killer... i had no idea how to write this chapter. and after the last one whew, i didn't know if i could compete with myself...
this is a happy chapter... quite different from the last 15 or so. enjoy...
disclaimer: mentioning harsh reality is such a drag, i own nothing... sighs

Chapter 17

"kagome?!" sango waved her hand in front of kagome's brooding face in shock. "kagome? Are you alright?" As kagome's memory drifted away she smiled weakly as she remembered the shocked expressions on her teacher's and classmates faces.

"kagome?!"

"Kagome?!"

The classmates crouded around her as she realized with much embarrassment that somewhere during her premonition she had fallen out of her seat in class and was in a daze curled up on the floor.

"higarashi?" (A/N:S/P? sorry... . )

She heard her teacher say some where above her head.

"higarashi, kagome?!"

she got up quickly, rushed a apology and ran out of the classroom.

A bucket of cold water splashed on her face, and kagome sat up quickly choking on it.

"oh my gosh kagome, you were burning up. Are you alright?!"

"Yes, yes I'm fine."

Her voice made an attempt at emotion, but all of it was swallowed up into the dark abyss that kept echoing, 'you must kill inuyasha.'

Those simple words were haunting her mind and soul as rot haunts the aged fruit.

Slowly she looked up at sango.

Everyone seemed so cold towards her, just because of inuyasha using the jewel.

Or maybe it wasn't because of that.

She didn't know.

Her face fell to the floor as if it were more interesting.

She didn't even think it mattered.

Sango was still standing there. Kagome had to say something or else nothing would be said.

"Do you think the gods would take pity on me and kill me after I've killed him?"

Normally she would never have thought of anything like that let alone spoken it aloud. Keeping to her nature she made a rushed explanation on why.

"I mean, after I gave him the jewel I told myself to go home. But something changed my mind.

Maybe it was him, or maybe it was fate.

Who knows?

Then I ended up meeting him again.

It was terrible; I made the worst mistake of my life in those few moments.

I thought he was a phantom come to haunt me.

He told me that he never wanted to see me sad or leave my side again.

But I turned and walked away.

I was blinded by my own selfish regret.

You see after I gave him the jewel and poured my heart out to him all he could say was 'kikyou'.

What a fool I was.

Blinded by his words,

I couldn't see the jewel in his shoulder the first time I saw him.

I could have changed things."

All control lost, she pounded the ground and put her forehead down on the swept surface.

With a rattling sob she screamed.

"I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM!!"

It all happened so quickly that sango barely had time to comprehend kagome's last words before she wrapped her arms around the sobbing girl.

Kagome turned into her shoulder and cried.

Moaning 'I could have saved him' every few sobs.

Sango didn't know what to say.

Kaede told her and miroku to leave kagome alone to kill her beloved, alone, in the darkness that she had gathered around herself.

Somehow everyone but sango understood why.

Miroku tried to explain, sitting next to kagome's beaten form, telling her to look at kagome's face.

But there was nothing there, except a weariness that only inuyasha could sweep away.

"Kagome, please forgive us. Please, kagome, please forgive us..."

sango cried into kagome's shoulder.

In retaliation, kagome stood up straighter, amazed at the first warm words given to her.

"oh sango, what for?!"

The old kagome was beginning to surface, once again after so long.

"Oh kagome, how could we have been so cold to you, after all the times you have comforted us in our problems.

All of us are selfish and greedy, and I see now that miroku, kaede, and I are too.

Our personal problems of naraku solved, we all split up, not even saying farewell, and then when one of our comrades is in trouble, instead of dealing with it on our own, we call upon the only one who will suffer at his death, to kill him.

Oh kagome, I want you to be happy again, to live again, please kagome I'll give all my happiness up for you, just for you to spend one day with your beloved.

Just for you, kagome, for the best friend that has shared the good times as well as the bad, by my side.

Please kagome, please forgive the tortured soul that has been turned against you."

Kagome was speechless; sango's speech had hit the mark. Everything has been cold and distant to her since she lost her love.

"sango, humans might naturally have a selfish and greedy side but they also have a kind and loving side that helps them reach out to others and comfort the lonely.

You know what sango? I am going to see this predicament through to the end and guess what?"

sango looked up at kagome confused,

"I will move in with kouga, and live the rest of my life out protecting and living with the wolf demon tribe.

Not bad huh?"

Sango looked perplexed.

"So sango, I really appreciate your telling me that you will give up your happiness for me, but I want you to know that I will find my own happiness on my own. And that I will give your happiness back to you, just for you, because you have had your share of blackness in your life."

Kagome got up and reached down to help the mystified sango up off the floor. Smiling happily kagome, waltzed outside.

Yes, sango, your happiness was made just for you. Everyone has their down times, but their ultimate happiness comes in a unique package. Sango, I want you to live out your happiness for the rest of your life. Just for you.

awww... how sweet... now i know that this is a stark contrast to the angst that i have been wrtiting for the last 16 chapters but i didn't know what to write... i really don't want to see sango miroku ect. mean to kagome like that. and i bet deep down they really dont so i tried my best to lighten the mood, i hope it was ok...

and i want you guys to know that i will say thank you to all my reviewers just at the end of the story... thanks for all of you following and sorry for the delay, and sorry the next chapter might take a long time too.