CHAPTER 11: Hollow mind
It was so dark it felt like being swallowed up by a shadow itself. The weight was something that would make the average person break into a chilling sweat, truly believing that they would die from pressure on them. The ringing was the only thing that made her aware that she was indeed alive and not buried somewhere. This was a common dream for April, one she has had many times before since the passing of her mother, although now she had some kind of understanding and control of what was happening from the discovery of her psychic powers.
When she was younger and tried to explain it to her father, he would talk to her about grief and loss but after about the tenth time of bringing it up, she was enrolled into therapy. Although that didn't last long for her and she began to bottle up the weird things that would happen while she slept. She would confide in Irma and once she tried to talk about it with Casey but she learnt pretty quickly that her peers just wrote it off. The worst part for April now was not knowing what was coming, but being fully aware of it all since she began her training with Master Splinter.
While she waited for the scene to play out, she saw a blurry face of a woman who was meant to be her mother, cupping her face and tenderly telling her not to cry and that everything was going to be alright after her…departure, something else came forward. Something that April was not expecting at all. What emerged from the inky darkness was a bird, a small blue jay that looked hurt. The empathy within her body was practically boiling over as the small helpless animal fought to move towards her, its eyes seeming to plead with her trying to speak, yet nothing emerged from it.
April could feel her consciousness wanting to cry out, but there was nothing she could do as out of the void a gargantuan hand shot out, catching the bird within its clutches. The bird attempted to flee but was already caught up, the hand turning from a solid into a goopy, misshapen mess. It truly made her feel ill as she watched the rest of the scene unfold, leaving behind nothing but a few feathers at the encounter. And then the hand turned its attention to her, itching closer to her field of vision before dissipating back into the void. This was new, but the emotions she felt were all too familiar.
When April finally did crack her eyes open, it was day. Although there were no windows down in the lair for her to feel the sun on her face, she did note the person who she fell asleep with the night before was nowhere to be seen. Reaching her hand over to touch the spot where he was before, the soft smile spreading across her face. She did care for him so much, and finally allowing herself the freedom to act on how she felt was a weight lifted off her shoulders. She most likely would have remained sitting there and smiling like a doofus much longer if it wasn't for the knocking at her door.
Far too rapid to be Donatello, but not even enough to be Leonardo.
Slithering away from the warm clutches of her bed to her door and coming face to face with the concerned eyes of Michelangelo was not something April expected to see just starting her day. Although the look of worry quickly changed into one of relief to see her up and about.
Mikey: April! Was getting' worried about you dude! Didn't expect you to skip out on breakfast and morning training like that!
April: Wait what! How long did I even sleep for?
April scampered back to her bedside and snatched her T-phone, seeing the giant numbers indicating it was indeed past two in the afternoon. Her hand clamping over her mouth to attempt smothering the swear that escaped her lips. Mikey now standing in her room, looking and gently touching a few of the trinkets that had managed to come along to her new home-away-from-home.
April: Holy Shit! Why didn't anyone come to get me?
Mikey: Well honestly we thought maybe you needed the rest? In fact I wasn't even meant to come see you now. Leo and Donnie said you "needed to recuperate" or whatever.
April didn't even try to stop the scowl she shot in the direction of the living room. Sure her psychic abilities did have a tendency to take it out of her, and sure it wasn't uncommon after one of those dreams to sleep in a little later than originally intended but this late with not even a little bit of interference was uncalled for. Shooting Mikey a smile with a well meaning hand on his head, she felt his eyes lock in on her exposed midriff and began to feel her cheeks get hot.
Mikey: Yo dude, you totally have abs now. That's so tight!
April: Oh man! Uh yeah haha, It definitely comes from working out as much as I do now. But listen Mikey can you do me a solid? I am like, so hungry now, think you can whip me up some lunch?
The excitement of the youngest Hamato son was emanating out of him like a lightbulb, and with a snap of his fingers and a sly little wink, the turtle was out her door to the kitchen to start the process. April was thankful for Michelangelo and his way of caring for his brothers and friends, without him and his way of thinking and problem solving they would all have bit the dust long ago. Changing her clothes and quickly fixing her face and hair to try and attempt a somewhat well rested look, She found herself in the den of the lair where Leonardo was watching an episode of Space Hero's intently, Raphael beating up the dummy in the corner of the room and sneaking a few peeks at the television from time to time. Crossing the room silently, cheering to herself as clearing her throat to announce herself to the room not only warranted a startling noise from Leo, but also from the more hot headed brother.
Raph: Jesus christ April! When did you get there?
April: Oh you know just now. Not like I missed anything important today, right?
The snark in her voice was on full blast, Raph looking to their leader in blue who by the look on his face was already attempting to formulate some kind of damage controlling statement in his mind. Rolling her eyes and holding her hand up to him indicating they just needed to move on from it. Throwing herself down into the pit and on a beanbag chair, Raph not too far behind her.
Leo: Well at least your stealth has improved. I didn't even hear you come into the room April.
Raph: Yeah but that's because you're focused on ya TV boyfriend captain whatever his name is.
Leo: His name is Captain Ryan.
Raph: Well his name should be Captain Dingus.
April let out a groan, shaking her head at the two of them bickering, trying to hide her smile at the extremely teenage brother bickering occurring before her. Oftentimes it was hard for her to believe that these four brothers weren't normal humans by just listening to them talk. They were all so alike yet different from one another, truly brothers in their own regards. It often in the past made April really sad how normal they all were, the fact that their world was so small and contained to this abandoned subway station in the sewers of New York City. The idea of a companion of any kind aside from one another was so impossible and yet there was April. Being pulled from her thoughts by the sudden plate of food before her, giving Mikey who was standing above her proudly at his creation of a sandwich and chips for her, accepting it graciously. April already itching to get to business.
April: Thank you Mikey! This looks dynamite.
Mikey: Anything for you dude!
April: So Leo, are we going on patrol again tonight? I actually managed to snag a few pictures the other day…
Leo: Uh..well April. Maybe you should sit tonight out…
April chewed her food slower, looking at Leonardo and then the other two brothers in a puzzled way. Had she done something wrong? She thought that with what went down the other day she had kept up and done really well. Not wanting to sound too desperate for answers, she took a breath through her nose, attempting to pace herself.
April: Okay…can I inquire as to why you think that?
Leo: uh…well you see after you left us last night with Donnie…Which was fine to do! Honestly I really do prefer you speak up about your limitations with us-
Raph: Oh for fuck…April, after ya left last night we ran into FootBots and Karai. Even though we, well I should say Mikey and I beat them, Leo doesn't want ya to get hurt.
Mikey: It's not that you can't keep up though dude, you were killer last night. Just that even for US,Karai is tough to fight. Hard to fight someone like her and protect you, ya know if need be.
April could feel the frustration within her starting to build to a boiling point. She had done everything that Leo and Donnie had asked of her and she was still being benched after a sliver of a taste of freedom? Not fair wasn't even the half of it on this one. She glared angrily at her sandwich before taking an aggressive bite, looking between the three brothers and losing her edge. At the end of the day they were right and it wasn't their fault at the circumstances. Giving Leo an icy stare that she could tell made him tense under her watchful eye, her voice commanding the space.
April: Alright. Here is my proposal. Two days, if nothing happens in the next two days while on patrol, I get to come back off the bench. If something happens, we deal with it and then I come back out. Got it?
Leo: April…I don't know, I mean what if on that third day something does happen?
April: Then I guess the five of us will handle it huh? Anyway now that that's settled.
April hopped to her feet, taking her now empty plate of food towards the kitchen, giving herself a smile as Leo called back to her begrudgingly.
Leo: Fine! Two days.
Wandering into the Lab was something of a habit for April, it always had been since she began to hang out with the Hamato family in their home. It was something of a second home for her in many ways. A refuge for her and Donatello to be themselves in more ways than one. Seeing the intelligent turtle standing over his makeshift chemistry table deep in through, she almost didn't want to bother him but just to keep watching him as he worked. Leaning against the Shell Razer and getting lost in her own head for a moment, recalling the first time she ever saw the lab. Smiling fondly at the way Donatello anxiously yet excitedly showed off the wonderland workshop of science and discovery to her. Her genuine impressed awe at the sheer amount of innovation and drive. Honestly it was something that all four brothers had that made her want to work harder in general, their drive in their own respective ways was infectious.
Pulling herself out of her winding cavern of memories, April mustered the energy to pull herself to approach Donnie. Gently calling out to him as to not cause an explosion or some other catastrophic disaster that honestly could occur any time Donatello was in his lab, his welcoming gap-toothed grin causing an explosion in April's heart and mind sending her into her gushing teenage girl mode in her mind. Keeping herself cool and composed, stealing his computer chair and scooting it to the side of his workstation, looking at the folder of pictures from last night on her T-Phone.
Donnie: April! Good Morning! Or I suppose it would be past noon now…how are you feeling by the way?
April: I am okay, I have some files I am going to link to you from the other day, I wanted to get your input on them. Uh but yeah, thanks for waking me up by the way! I wasn't meant to sleep till past two ya know!
Donnie: Oh shell, was it really that late? Sorry April, I actually slipped off before any of the guys woke up…I uh d-didn't think coming out of your room late at night was the b-best idea…
April pursed her lips, thinking about what kind of reaction that would get out of the family, considering she was living with them and their relationship no longer on the path of 'just friends', there would have definitely been some kind of conversation with Master Splinter that she probably would have preferred not to get into. Looking at Donatello who was nervously playing with his leather Bo strap across his chest, April couldn't help but press what was on his mind. Giving him a sweet smile, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them.
April: That was definitely a good call on your part then, one of many if I may say so. But D, you look troubled. Lay it on me.
Donnie: Oh! Oh gosh April I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…ya know I just struggle from time to time with…ugh I just wanna find a way to say it without…WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR ME?
April winced at the shrill in his voice, the loud slap of his hands hitting his face, hiding him from the world and her. Bolting to his side and taking one of his wrists, gently tugging his hand from his face.
April: Hey hey hey, woah Don chill a little! Deep breathing, remember in through the nose and out through the mouth…just like that, yeah! Take a moment and collect yourself…
Donatello closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before allowing his eyes to flutter open, peeking down at her and smiling nervously. Shooting her own reassuring little smile at him, she picked up on the spark of determination within his eyes, gesturing to him to speak when he was ready.
Donnie: Oh shell April…I just…I just wanna start by saying I appreciate you and everything you've given me…I just am sca-scared I suppose in…asking for too much of you?
April: Wha-
Donnie: Hold on! If I stop now I-I'll lose momentum! I…I've adored every kiss, every hug..everything you allow me to take in of you. Shell, sleeping last night next to you for the time that I did, I-I was on cloud nine April! I just…I am a man of science, of answers and KNOWING! A-And I guess I am saying I need to know what…we…what we exactly are?
April looked at Donatello with wide eyes, seeing the fear on his face at expressing himself to her, exposing himself to her in this way. She knew in her core this was not easy for him and every moment that passed where she was silently looking at him was another twist of the overthinking knife in his being. Twisting her words and motives into something that they were not, adding malice in place of her love. Smiling and looking deep into his eyes, cupping his cheek softly with one of her hands, she said something to him that made his jaw drop.
April: Well Donnie…I am your girl, aren't I? Unless you don't want me to be of course…
Donnie:...by darwin's beard…I'm dreaming aren't I? I am still fast asleep right next to you in your bed aren't I?
April couldn't help but laugh, shaking her head no to try and bring Donatello back to reality. Letting out a small yelp through her laughter as he scooped her up into him, nuzzling her against his cheek, stopping every few rubs to kiss her enthusiastically on the cheek.
April: Y-You're awake D! This is real!
Donnie: You're joking! You're pulling my leg, you have to be! Y-You're telling me that April O'Neil, the most beautiful, intelligent, courageous girl is MY girl? I have just won the FREAKIN' LOTTERY! WHOOHOO!
April gasped, laughing even harder as Donatello threw her in the air, catching her in a big hug, peppering her face in kisses. The two not even noticing the orange masked face peeking in through the doorway, smiling wide at the display before them.