Maybe Not

warning: don't like yuri or a dirty Pansy? don't read.

disclaimer: do not own. do not sue.

As she stepped into the shower, she let the hot water run over her. Boy, had it been a long day. That's when she realized just how much everything hurt. It just did. It hurt. Even her mouth hurt, and she didn't even have that Muggle invention called braces, because her parents had fixed her teeth magically. At Lucius' request of course. She remembered how that had gone. More pain. But she didn't want to relive the ending of her days with him. And that's when it hit her-she had shagged them all, except the one. A certain one right now that she wanted to shag. And that's when the hot water got hotter, and ran uncomfortably over her, and...

"SHIT!!!" she stepped quickly away from the almost-burning water. She breathed a sigh of relief, and then the soap slipped....

FUCK. This was not her day. Everything was pain; everything hurt. And it was all wrong.

Why was everything wrong, you ask? Because Pansy had one little HUGE problem. She was in love. She was certain-not lust, this time, but LOVE. Even worse, with Granger. Hermione Granger. ThatlittlebookishGryffindorprettypieceofassGryffindorthat- Pansy knew that even for a Slytherin she was dirty, but she had promised herself that this time, her hands would not move themselves lower than her abdomen. So she had to think of something else. She remembered back the conversation she had had with Blaise....

"Do you love this person?"

"Yes."

"Not lust, but love. You sure?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do you want to fuck this person?"

"Only if they want it."

"Wow, that's dedication." She mocked.

"Oh, fuck you." Pansy said, preoccupied.

"You know you want to."

And that was the problem. Just it. She didn't want to. She wanted that little piece of studyaholic Gryffindor ass. And she wanted it NOW.

Of course she hadn't told Blaise everything. Like what sex, what house, what name. She had been very vague that day, and luckily, the other girl had been too tired to pry.

Then there was Draco. Ah, Draco. The one she was supposed to be with. Of course they had been going out, but then it had gotten boring in her mind and she had wanted something else, something more. Like something different.

So she had told Draco she had wanted to call it quits, but the poor boy couldn't face being dumped by a girl with his ego and all, so he hung around her and she let him pretend they were still going steady until he couldn't stand it any longer and had declared it publicly that he had dumped the stupid "Slytherin whore." The rest of the Slytherin girls were of course, mighty pleased with this.

Pansy had been too caught up with thinking about Hermione to care.

Then there had been that day in Potions class where there were only two seats left, one next to Pansy, and one next to Draco. Potter and Granger had just walked in, so Hermione of course went to sit next to Pansy. Much to Harry's dismay. He looked like he wanted to kill Hermione or Pansy, or both girls, considering the fact that now he had to sit next to Draco. But Pansy thought the tall blonde wouldn't mind. She knew that Draco got horny for more than just girls, and that he had been watching Potter an aweful lot more than usual lately. But to the matter at hand.

The beautiful girl was sitting next to her. Pansy. The whore of the Slytherin House, maybe even of the whole school. But she didn't mind, and apparently neither did Granger. So when after class that day as the bell rang, and Pansy complained loudly about not understanding one bit, she surprisedly (but quite happily, I assure you) accept Granger no-less-than-merely-studious invitation to her own private one-on-one study group and help in the library that afternoon.

Pansy was ecstatic. And when she over-heard Hermione turning down and invite from Potter and Weasley to fly later that day for her study group with Pansy that afternoon, the Slytherin began to wonder. Maybe the little Gryffindor did prefer girls over boys. Maybe that day had been a lucky one.

And when the other day, Pansy had come out to most of the Slytherin House and told them that she was gay, they hadn't thought about it much except for the fact that the person she had chosen as her first victim was a no-name Hufflepuff who was now rumored around the whole school to look remarkably like Granger. Of all people.

So the rumor was in, and the cards laid out.

Pansy couldn't say that Hermione didn't look sad that day, but she knew she definitely got her attention. After that, she decided what to do. Today she had promptly dumped the poor Hufflepuff and left her in a fit of tears. That hadn't gone so well, but at least Hermione now knew. She was free, and she WANTED.

SO today hadn't gone so well, but that was okay. She supposed. Maybe tomorrow would be better and Pansy would talk to Hermione. Ask her what she thought. Take the plunge.

And so maybe it was going to be a good day, or at least she'd make it so.

And so she stepped back into the water and watched it run down her skin. The scalding hot water. So what if it burned her? She wasn't afraid of a little risk if it felt this good.