The Intergalactic Social Event of the Decade

Part 3

Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c stepped out of the Stargate and surveyed the barren landscape.

"What is it with these guys and sand?" Jack asked no one in particular.

"Are we certain the Tok'ra an indeed on this planet?"

"Oh, I think we can be fairly certain, Teal'c," Daniel replied as they were in fact suddenly surrounded by armed Tok'ra.

Malek climbed the stairs to approach them. "Colonel O'Neill, Dr. Jackson, Teal'c."

"Actually, it's General O'Neill, now." Jack replied with a little grin.

"My apologies. What are you doing here?"

"We came for the waters."

"Waters?" Malek looked confused. "We're on a desert planet. There are no waters."

"We were misinformed."

Daniel rolled his eyes and stepped forward. "We have a message for Jacob and Selmak."

"Major Carter is not ill, is she?"

"No, but she needs him."

"She's a Colonel now by the way." Jack put in as they followed Malek to the rings.

---

"Hey, Dad."

Jacob spun around to see Jack, Daniel and Teal'c standing in his doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"We came for the wa-" Jack began before Daniel cut him off. "Give up the Bogart, Jack. Once was enough."

"Fine, " he replied slightly miffed, but he slung his pack from his back and pulled out a case of Butterfingers. "Thought you might be missing these," he said to Jacob.

Jacob practically ripped the box from his hands. "Selmak has actually considered leaving the Tok'ra for these."

"We'll always have a place for you at the SGC."

They watched as Jacob hurriedly ate one Butterfinger. Then as he thoughtfully savored his second one he asked them, "How'd you find us?"

"Thor located you at General O'Neill's request," Teal'c told him.

"General O'Neill? Have the Joint Chiefs lost their minds?"

"Apparently," Jack's lips twitched trying to hold back a smile. "I'm in charge of the SGC too."

"Is George dead?"

"I'm sure he wishes he was. He's at the Pentagon."

"I bet he does." Jacob finished the Butterfinger. "Why are you here? And where's Sam?"

"That's kind of why we're here-" Daniel began before he was cut off.

"Oh, God, what happened to her?"

"No. No. She's fine, Jacob," Daniel corrected him quickly. "See the thing is… well, she doesn't really know we're here… but she's been so upset because you wouldn't be there and we knew you'd be upset and-"

Teal'c irritated with Daniel's rambling explanation put it succinctly. "Colonel Carter is getting married."

Jacob blinked for half a second then clapped Jack hard on the back. "It's about goddamn time. What happened? You get a special dispensation?"

Jack winced. "Ah, no."

"You retiring?"

Jack shook his head wearily, before Daniel spoke up, "Sam's not marrying Jack."

Jacob looked shocked and then glared at Daniel. "You?"

"No. Pete."

"Who the FUCK is Pete?" Jacob exploded.

"Her fiancé."

Jacob turned to Jack anger thundering across his face. "I gathered that, Jack, you idiot. What did you do to her? "

"Jack didn't do anything, Jacob. Which is probably part of the problem, but that's beside the point." Daniel continued as Jack glared at him. "She was dating Pete before you left. She didn't tell you?"

"No." Jacob sighed heavily and sat down. "I don't suppose you brought any beer?"

"Nope. Something better." Jack dug into the pocket of his BDUs and pulled out a flask and tossed it to him. "Jack Daniel's."

Jacob took a big gulp.

"Uh, Jacob, does that really work with Selmak," Daniel asked curiously.

"I wish." he handed the flask back to Jack who took a long sip. "How're you handling this?"

"I'm her CO, Jake. It's none of my business."

"Bullshit, Jack. You love her."

"I'm still her CO."

"That can change."

"She's made her choice. She wanted a real life outside the SGC," he told the older man quietly. "She's happy. Be happy for her."

Jacob huffed. "So tell me about this man that makes her happy."

"He's a cop," Daniel began. "Her brother set her up with him."

"Mark's an idiot."

"He knows about the Stargate." Daniel continued.

"How?"

An irritated look flashed across Jack's face. "He followed her and got mixed up in the Osiris op. I asked General Hammond to let him to know the basics. She seemed to think he could handle knowing."

"And can he?"

Jack shrugged.

"Actually, we really don't know much about him," Daniel explained. "He seems to be a nice guy other than a mild stalker complex which I supposed could be attributed to a cop's curious nature. He did help clear Teal'c when he was accused of murder. So that's a plus."

"Colonel Carter has seen fit to have him in our company on very few occasions," Teal'c said.

"She probably thought the three of you would scare him off."

"If he is so easily frightened he is not worthy of her affections."

Jacob rubbed his forehead trying to ease the tension headache building. "Do any of you approve of him?"

"I don't think he's that bad," Daniel tried diplomatically "But not right for Sam."

"And his name is Pete?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It just reminds me of a joke Dean Martin used to tell."

"Yeah, how'd it go?" Jack asked.

"He would sing this song that had the line 'I dream in the john' and Sinatra would break in with some comment that I don't remember. Then Dino replies with 'What do you want me to say I dream in the pete?'"

The three men stare at Jacob.

"I guess it loses something in the retelling."

"Ya think?"

"It's just every time I hear the name Pete, I think 'I dream in the pete'."

---

TBC