Elizabeth gave Jack a kiss on the cheek and put him in his crib. She told him that he was getting big and will soon need a big boy bed. Jack smiled. Elizabeth watched as Jack closed his eyes. Elizabeth smiled and stroked the side of his face. He was getting to be a big boy. He was going to start growing up and have more definite features. Elizabeth wondered who he would look like more; her or Jack. It didn't matter to her as long as he had his father's smile.
After putting Jack to bed, Elizabeth went downstairs and put a kettle on the stove for tea. When the water was ready, she poured the water into a cup and put her tea bag in the water. Elizabeth brought the cup of tea over to the desk. She decided that she would write in her journal while the tea cooled. Elizabeth pulled the journal out of her desk drawer and looked at it. For the past several months, she had not written in her journal. Elizabeth brought out a pen and began to write.
"I don't know where to begin. It has several months since I have written in my journal. So much has happened that I guess I'll start at the beginning. After Lucas came to my house and ended our courtship, it made me realized that I wasn't ready to be in a relationship with any man. I realized it was because I was still grieving Jack. I decided not to court with either Lucas or Nathan. I was confused about my feelings and did not want to hurt anyone else than I already had.
I told both men not to wait for me. Lucas must have taken the hint as a letter was waiting for me one day after school that he would be taking a long overdue vacation. Henry Gowen would be running the saloon in his absence.
Nathan on the other hand, could not leave. But our friendship has never been the same. As I was telling him why I did could not court with him, I made the regrettable mistake of saying that I was trying to find Jack in him. It was cruel to Nathan and to the memory of Jack. Elizabeth knew that Nathan wasn't Jack.
Nathan left with Allie and went to his mother's for Christmas. Lee and Rosmary went to Rosemary's parents house for Christmas. For that Christmas, it was just myself and Jack. Of course, we had visitors for his birthday but for the most part, it was just the two of them. I enjoyed spending Christmas with my son alone. While courting with Lucas, it felt like all my time was spent with him and not Jack. Just another regrettable act to a long list of regrettable.
But during that Christmas, God endowed a wonderful gift to me. He gave me wisdom. Elizabeth realized that what attracted her to Lucas was the attention he gave me. After Jack died, I thought that no man would want a widow with a child. Lucas made me feel special. Although he made me feel special, there was no substance to their relationship.
I also realized that I was cruel to Nathan and Allie. Allie wanted a mother after all this time and all I did was give her false hope. As for Nathan, I treated him cruelly on many occasions but by saying that I was only try to find Jack in him was the cruelest thing I have ever said. I realized that the reason I did not want to court with Nathan was because I was scared to lose him. I could easily fall in love with Nathan. But if I lost him the way I lost Jack, I don't think my heart would recover. And even though he said he would quit the Mountie's; he shouldn't have to. But I guess I am not as courageous as I think I am.
There have been many times that I wanted to apologize to Nathan and Allie, but the words just don't come out. Nathan has been distant. When he picks up Allie, Allie runs to him where he is standing at a distance. They are cordial to each other in town. But the days of stopping at the Mountie office for a chat were gone. For now, I am focusing on my son and teaching.
About a month ago, I watched as the children left for the day. As I watched them leave, I thought about the time I started teaching in Hope Valley. The children did not have a school. They hardly had any school supplies. But through perseverance and help with a certain Mountie, their education became enriched. That is when I went to Bill to ask him if there were any other towns nearby that needed a teacher. It was a few weeks until Bill let her know that the town of Maple Creek was looking for someone to train a woman who wanted to be a teacher for the town. Maple Creek was a 2 hour walk from Hope Valley. I decided that I would go on Saturday's and help train the teacher and educate the children. Teaching is my heart's calling and I'm excited to start that journey of education tomorrow.
Elizabeth took a sip of her tea. She was looking forward to teaching the children of Maple Creek. She was going to bring books for them to read. She had pencils and paper ready for them. Elizabeth finished her tea and went to bed.
The next morning, Elizabeth woke up early. Laura came while Jack was still asleep. Elizabeth said goodbye to Laura and walked over to the livery. She took Sargent out of his stable. She put his saddle on him and tied the bag with books in it to the saddle. Elizabeth mounted Sargent and started off on her journey.
Bill told Elizabet the most difficult part to get to Maple Creek was the hill just outside of town. When Elizabeth reached the hill, Elizabeth saw that the hill was steep. Elizabeth carefully rode Sargent up the hill. When Elizabeth reached the top with Sargent, she turned around and looked at the view. It looked like a painting. The sun was bright and it reflected off the trees and the creeks.
Elizabeth trotted along smiling and looking at nature. Suddenly, three men came out of the bushes on horses. Elizabeth stopped Sargent.
"Hello there pretty lady" one of the men on horses said.
"Hello" Elizabeth said nervously.
"What are you doing out here?" one of the other men asked.
"Making my way to Maple Creek." Elizabeth answered.
One of the men came closer to Elizabeth.
"Goodness gracious you are pretty." The man said smiling. He was missing teeth.
"Thank you. But I must be going." Elizabeth said.
"What's your rush?" one of the men said blocking her from leaving.
"We just want to talk." One of the men said pulling out his gun.
"Please don't hurt me. I have a son." Elizabeth said.
"I don't mind another man's seconds" The man who was blocking her way out said. The man came closer to Elizabeth.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A voice said as it came closer. Elizabeth looked over and saw a red serge. It was Nathan.
The man backed away from Elizabeth. Nathan took out his gun.
"You better put that away." Nathan said to the man with his gun out. The man put his gun back into its holster.
"We were just talking with her." One of the men said.
"Uh huh. Well, talking is over, you men better get or we'll have trouble" Nathan said sternly.
The men grumbled and left.
Elizabeth let out a sigh and looked at Nathan.
"Nathan? What are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked.
What was he doing here. Nathan thought to himself.