Hello all! THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the reviews! I am just stunned that anyonereviewed at all, and to think you all like it! Yay! does happy dance Sorry forso much time inbetween updates, but I have hadbad writer's block and I didn't want to write any crap, so I just waited till something happened! ;-) Anyway on to the story!
Disclaimer: I still don't own much more then my computer and school books! Though Christmas was rather nice! ;-P J.K.owns all these characters as we all know.
Window to the Soul
Remus was convinced that there was something wrong with his friends. As he sat with them for breakfast in the Great Hall he listened as they talked to one another at the same time about two completely different topics. James who was beside of Remus was still excitedly talking about quidditch and Gryffindor's chances at winning the cup this year. All the while Sirius who sat across from him and James talked mischieviously about all the girls he had noticed, and all the one's that had noticed him. The two were completely disregarding what the other was saying and Remus could not help but grin at them as he quietly ate his oatmeal. By now they were used to Remus not speaking much and they enjoyed making fools of themselves in front of him to make Remus at least laugh. James and Sirius would always love an audience for their antics Remus would soon find out.
As Remus continued to eat and be amused by his friends he also watched the entire Great Hall. He liked to observe people and see how they acted and reacted to things. Remus knew that you could learn alot about people if you watched them enough. It was at that time that Remus noticed a boy that looked around his own age walking towards the Gryffindor table. He had black hair that hung in his eyes, and was below his ears, but not quite to the shoulders yet. He had a white pallor, but perhaps not from being ill, like Remus' own. The boy didn't have an ugly face really, but the ugly snarl on his face did nothing to advance it either. The boy, a slytherian as his robes identified him, walked straight toward Remus and his new friends! James also noticed the boy walking towards them and stopped talking for a moment to frown. Sirius seeing this turned around to see who James was frowning at, and saw to his dismay that little git, Severus Snape, a few feet away from them. As Severus approached his sneer became uglier and uglier and as he finally stood in front of Sirius, he gave a brief glance to James and then Remus. He seemed to look even more surly, if that was possible, when he looked at Remus. Remus immediately looked at his hands as he was very afraid that this boy had seen the werewolf and was about to tell on him. "Hello Severus, what do you want?" Sirius asked with his eyebrows slightly raised.
Severus looked at the oldest sibling of the Black family and could only think worse of him for being with Gryffindors. He didn't know what was wrong with Sirius, he had always acted odd from everyone else in his family who prided themselves on being pure-bloods. He actually liked to hang out with half-bloods and mudbloods. Severus himself, couldn't stand the sight of them, and seeing Sirius with these two only made him cringe. "Just wondering what you were doing," he gave a nasty look over at James and Remus, "with these people," Severus finished. Remus watched as his new friends lip curled up, and Sirius said with quite some venom that Remus didn't know he had, "Trying to stay where everything is nice and fresh," Sirius said with a suggestive sniff towards Severus, "So why don't you leave?" Severus' black eyes narrowed at the small cut Sirius had just delivered, and he retaliated by saying, "I suppose a half-blood would be 'fresh' for you wouldn't it Sirius? You really shouldn't mingle with such, trash, what would your family say?" Severus finished while glaring at Remus. Remus realizing that he was talking about him, looked up quickly at the glaring Severus and immediately looked down again, his eyes wide. Remus didn't really understand why this guy was being mean to him. He hadn't done anything to him, and he obviously didn't know he was a werewolf like Remus had first assumed. To tell the truth, Remus really didn't know how to interact with people at all. With his lycorapanthy he had not seen other children and his parents couldn't teach him what other children his own age could, how to stand up for himself. Remus had trouble with people being nice to him, let alone them being mean. He had no clue as to what to do or say, so he fell back on his habits and stayed silent, hoping it would go away."Well aren't you even going to say something?" Severus asked Remus. But Remus only looked at the floor.
Severus sneered more at the little half-blood who wouldn't even stand up for himself. And that's when Severus Snape felt two different things; first he felt something very heavy start to fill up the pockets of his robe, and then something wet was being poured over his head. It ended up being that James had cast a spell to fill his pockets with stones to weigh him down and Sirius had cast a spell to dump an unidentifiable bucket of green goo onto his head. As Severus shifted to wipe at his head, the stones in his pockets over balanced him and he fell making even more of a mess. The Hall was filled with laughter as Severus tried indigniantly to stand up and look normal with green goo all over him and rocks rolling about. Remus looked at the boy with wide eyes and couldn't help himself, as it always seem to be with James and Sirius doing something, he laughed. Severus shot the half-blood a look that would have dropped him dead if he had only had the power to do so. Sirius chuckled as he leaned over and whispered to Severus, "You had better go clean yourself up before all the girls die from fright-but then again they might anyway if they look at that abnormally large nose of yours." James laughed at this rude comment and Remus was still giggling as the Gryffindor boys' head of house, Professor Minerva McGonagall, came striding up looking as stern as a stone. She pursed her lips and said in a tight voice, "Mr. Snape, I suggest you take yourself back to your dormitory and clean yourself up before the first class. And as for you, Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Lupin, I will see you all in my office after your class with me today. We will get this worked out then." And with that she gave them all one last repraising look and walked back to the staff table.
Severus gave one last look at them and quickly stumbled out of the Great Hall with people still laughing at him. James and Sirius then looked at each other and grinned. Knowing that they had just figured out a new found skill, pranking. But they were more important matters to discuss first. "Remy, why didn't you take up for yourself?" James asked trying to look Remus in the face, but failing since Remus was refusing to look at anything but his hands. "Hey Remus, answer us, it's okay mate, you can tell us if something's bothering you," Sirius said. But Remus was not hearing them. All he knew was that he was in trouble. He was in trouble and he was going to have to leave the school, because his parents and Professor Dumbledore told him that he had to stay out of trouble! Remus' thoughts were getting more and more hectic and he really couldn't take it anymore, he didn't want to leave Hogwarts! With that thought, Remus jumped from his seat and ran from the Great Hall. Many people watched him go in wonder, but none were more curious then that of Sirius Blacks, James Potters, and Albus Dumbledores.
As Remus ran out of sight, James looked at Sirius, "What just happened? Why did he run away from us?" James asked Sirius. Sirius could only shrug though as he was completely baffled. Was Remus that upset over being in a little bit of trouble? At that time though it was time to go to their first class of the day, Charms. As James and Sirius entered the room they noticed that Remus wasn't there as usual. In fact they watched for Remus the entire class time and he never showed up! Even though both boys had only really known Remus for about a month, they knew that Remus never did something like this, and their worry increased ten fold. They decided to go and find Remus immediately as their next class was Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall's class.
As James and Sirius climbed the moving staircases, they asked a few of the portraits if they had seen a small, pale, brown haired boy. The old wizard that had a wand sticking through both ears and looking quite comical had said, "No Sirs I have not, can't you see I have more important worries to tend to?" as he pointed at the wand through his head. Another picture of a girl doing ballet, only looked at the boys and winked at Sirius as she stuck her tongue out at James. James rolled his eyes and asked another potrait that had a witch and a wizard stirring a nasty concotion of newt eyes, dragon claws, and brown sludge. "Ah yes, we did see a boy like that running through here a while back," said the wizard with a wide grin as he stopped stirring. The witch looked cross and snatched the wooden stirer from the wizard and began to stir the brew again, "Hmph! Yes we did see that young hooligan running through here, probably stole something of yours, didn't he? Looked like the sort of chap to do such a thing!" The wizard only rolled his eyes at the witch's presumptions and pointed in the direction Remus had fled, and waved to them a happy goodbye as the witch glared at their backs, thinking that they were probably that boy's accomplises.
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Remus ran through the corridors with no real destination in mind. He was just so upset at having to leave Hogwarts! He had just gotten here too, and now he had messed it up and was going to have to go back home! His parent's were going to be very disappointed in him and so was Professor Dumbledore! He had trusted that Remus would be good, and already Remus had broken that trust. Remus suddenly ran into something quite solid and fell down. He looked up and seen one of the people he was hoping to avoid. There was Albus Dumbledore, looking down on him. Remus quickly averted his eyes and mumbled a low, "sorry," towards his Head Master.
Albus looked down at the boy who had just gotten into his first minor scrape with another student. He had realized that young Remus might have some trouble dealing with other students, but this kind of reaction was bad. "Hello Mr. Lupin, can I help you up?" Albus asked kindly. Oh great, the Professor's being nice, he's just waiting to drop the axe! Remus thought depressingly. Remus took the Professors out stretched hand though and got up. He didn't dare look his Professor in the face and only nodded wordlessly when he asked for Remus to follow him. Albus took Remus to the gargoyle, where once he said the password, "Lemon Drops," they went up the moving staircase and into his office. "Have a seat Mr. Lupin, I think we have much to talk about." Remus sat down dejectedly and looked around the Head Master's office. It had many odd knick knacks and wonderful antiques. The Professor had bookshelves from the floor to ceiling, and were stacked with many different books of many different interests. This would of held Remus' attention well enough with his love for books except that he noticed the beautiful bird that was on it's perch behind the Professor. It was big, and had many large, shiny red and gold feathers that seemed to melt together to create such a wonderful bird. Remus marveled at it, as Albus began to speak, "That is a phoenix Mr. Lupin, his name is Fawkes. Do you know anything about phoneix's?" Remus smiled a little and rattled off his small knowledge of the birds that he had learned from his large book collection he mostly had at home. "You are a very smart young man, and being so it puzzles me that what just happened in the Great Hall upset you so much," the Professor told him.
Remus didn't know what to say really, so he just said what was already came into his mind, "I'll go ahead and pack my stuff, I know that you're going to kick me out and all. I'm really sorry and I'm sorry I wasted your time, and I know you trusted in me and I messed it up." But Remus' apology was cut short by Dumbledore holding up his hand. "Mr. Lupin, it's alright! You are not being kicked out of this school, just because of a little detention. What made you think so?" Remus was shocked by this announcement and could only grin hugely as it really hit him that he was not going to have to leave! "I, I really don't have to leave? But I thought you and Mum and Dad said that if I got in trouble that I was to go home!" Dumbledore then knew where the boy's anxiety had come from. He realized that Remus, being the nervous and serious boy he was, had taken what he and his parent's had said and made it into an ultamatem. When in truth, they had only wanted him to be careful and make sure that he didn't get into trouble to show his lycantrophy; not that he had to be perfect all the time! Dumbledore told this to Remus who actually looked at him for a few seconds. "And Remus, now we never expected that you would be good all the time, no normal boys are perfect all the time," Dumbledore said at the end of his explanation. Remus' smile disappeared at that last sentence, and Dumbledore immediately wanted to take back his last sentence. "Remus, I did not mean that to make you feel bad, I do consider you to be a normal boy. And I wish you would believe that you are too."
Remus could only look at his feet though, "But I'm not a normal boy, most normal boys aren't werewolves!" Remus said with a twist of hurt in his voice. Dumbledore looked at the boy in earnest and wanted more then anything for Remus to believe in himself. "Remus, listen to me, you do have lycantrophy, but it is only an added problem that you have to learn to deal with in your life. Other then that, you are a normal boy. You like to read, play, have friends, and fly. Just like other boys your age. You just need to realize that it's okay for you to do normal things like them," Dumbledore said. Remus stayed quiet as he thought about this. Dumbledore smiled and said, "You must think on it, and now you need to go to Professor McGonagall's class, as we have talked through your entire first period! Go on, I will tell Professor Barnes a reason as to why you missed her class." Remus smiled and glimpsed at Dumbledore, "Thank you Sir for not kicking me out!" and with that said Remus left the Head Master's office and headed towards his head of house's office.
As he rounded the corner toward Professor McGonagall's class he again ran into something solid. At least this time he didn't fall down, he glimpsed up and saw the enquiring face of James Potter. "Remy! Where did you go? Are you okay?" James asked Remus. "I'm fine, yes just fine now James, thanks for asking, I, umm, just had to sort some things out is all. But I feel much better now! So, uh, why don't we head over to Professor McGonagall's class?" Remus asked, glancing up at his friend. Sirius was suspicious but decided to keep his mouth shut for now, he could wait to figure out Remus Lupin. The boys headed towards McGonagall's class and were only a couple minutes late. She gave them a stern look that they would over the years become accoustmed to seeing in their direction. As class ended, the trio headed towards their Professor's office and were rewarded with a detention of scrubbing all the trophy's in the trophy room that night, no magic, for their shinanigans during breakfast.
The rest of the day went by and soon the sun was starting it's desent towards the other side of the Earth. The shadows grew long in the castle and so did Remus Lupin's thoughts. He still could not really wrap his mind around the fact that he was a normal boy with a particualrly bad problem. But he did understand that he wasn't expected to be perfect either. With the two months he had been to school already, the perfect routine was becoming hard to keep intact all the time. Maybe, just maybe, Remus could be less careful and more friendly toward people! It was a great thought and it kept him smiling the entire time he scrubbed trophy's with a toohbrush. James and Sirius thought Remus was being quite odd today, but they figured they would get whatever it was out of him soon enough. Maybe they could learn this secret too and learn how to be happy while scrubbing grimy trophy's.
I hope everyone liked the chapter! I'm afraid I'm going too slow, but there is just so much to get in! Please review and tell me what you think, all critisicm is taken into consideration and I am happy to get it.
Sorry for grammar problems, I just always get so excited when I finish writing a chapter that I feel that I just have to update as soon as possible! So I don't usually look over my work too well, sorry about that, and I will try to be better about it.
LupinFan227-Thank you so much for the review! A good review from a good writer makes me really happy! Ithought the gnomes might be something a lonely magical kid would play with instead of an imaginary friend!I hope you got that new laptop for Christmas! ;-)
Vilya0-Thank you for reviewing, sorry it took so long for a new chapter!
lotrox-Thank for the review! I'm glad you like it and I really hope you like this one as well!
angil10-Sorry you thought it was long, but that's just how I try to write chapters, I hope you liked this chapter!
Adnama-I'm so glad you liked it! I hope you like this chapter as much, even though I think there was less interaction between the three boys!
JustBreakUpWithMe-Thank you for reviewing and liking the story! I hope you like this chapter as well!