Title: Step in the Right Direction
Author: Saavira
Disclaimer: Really really don't own them
Angel pushed Spike against the wall, hand tightening around the slim throat in front of him. Spike's eyes widened and Angel waited for the snappy retort that never came. He looked up and saw Spike closed his eyes, slumping down as much as he could. The only thing holding him up was Angel's bruising grip.
"Spike?" Angel's hold loosened.
"No!" Blue eyes snapped opened and Spike quickly grabbed on to Angel's wrist. "Don't let go," he whispered.
Angel narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
Spike looked away.
Angel grasped Spike's chin with his free hand and turned until the blue eyes were facing him again.
"Why, Spike?" He asked again.
"I don't feel like I'm falling apart when you touch me," Spike admitted quietly.
Shocked at the confessions, the brunette dropped his hands abruptly. Spike stumbled slightly, surprised at the sudden loss of his support.
The silence between them was loud and awkward. Angel, who couldn't bear the longing in Spike's eyes, turned his back to the blonde vampire.
"Right," Spike nodded tersely, "I'll just be off then." He stiffly walked towards the door.
"Spike."
His hand stilled on the doorknob.
"Why did you go after the Cup of Perpetual Torment? What was in it for you?"
A bitter laugh escaped through the blonde's mouth, "You really are daft, aren't you, Angelus?" Spike turned to face Angel, "If you don't know the answer by now, then I don't know where the hell you've been this past century. All I've wanted since I could soddin' well remember was for your attention. I didn't care if I was going to be punished for disobeying you. At least while you were torturing me it got you away from that bitch sire of yours and got you to notice me. Everything I have ever done was for this very reason. The hot pokers and this soul! I can't believe you think I care about some stupid fucking cup!"
Angel flinched when Spike's voice broke on that last word. He opened his mouth to speak, but it felt like his throat was coated with sand.
He swallowed a couple of times and said quietly, "I...I didn't know that," while looking at the floor.
Spike snorted, "Yea, you never did notice what was right under your nose, must be that overhanging forehead of yours, shadowing your eyes." Spike purposely looked at Angel after saying that and surely enough one of Angel's hand had gone to his head. He shook his head and smiled sadly, "You're never going to change, Angelus, and I've waited too long already."
Just as Spike opened the door and stepped out, a hand shot out and spun him around. Flashing golden-brown eyes were the last thing Spike saw before he was drawn in to a deep kiss. He struggled a bit before relaxing in to the kiss, wrapping his arms around Angel's waist and tilting his head back.
Spike soon came to his senses and forced himself to lean away from Angel, but Angel's hand tightened against his neck. Spike cleared his throat and licked his tingling lips, they felt hot and swollen, "This isn't going to make everything okay, Angel."
"I know." Angel turned the grip on Spike's neck into a caress, he leaned down and pressed his forehead against the blonde's, " But it's a step in the right direction. Come on." He pulled Spike back into the room and shut the door.