Okay, before I get yelled at for posting this instead of updating my other stories, this was a Biology project, so I had to do it anyway. Flames welcomed, but please be tactful! R&R please!
Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl © 2004 by Eoin Colfer. Basically, I don't own Artemis, Holly or Butler. Or Jon Spiro, or Mulch Diggums, or Madame Ko. I'm just borrowing them because they made this project a lot easier. I no own, you no sue. But I do own the guy who broke into Fowl Manor! And Ebony is mine, too, as well as Artemis' middle name. Oh, and Q-tips aren't mine, either.
Chapter One: The Break In
The masked figure expertly switched off the final security alarm and slipped into the room. Eyes darting around in search of security cameras, he drew his pistol and took out three before rounding the last one. "Sorry, Fowl," he said, his voice deep, "but you'll have to do better than that."
He held up his gun.
He pulled the trigger.
And the screen went blank.
Artemis Fowl the Second sighed as he finished watching the tape for the seventh time. "Is that all we have to go on, Butler?"
"I'm afraid so, Master Artemis. Can you think of anyone who would be after you because of your previous… Illegal enterprises?"
Artemis sighed and steepled his fingers thoughtfully. "More than I can count, Butler, but as you very well know I have done nothing of the sort in nearly a decade. No, I believe it was merely the allure of the diamond that attracted this criminal's attention. The question is: who was it? No one besides Mulch Diggums has ever penetrated this manor, and that was years ago. The security is much more advanced now." Artemis sighed once more. "Whoever he is, he is not one to be underestimated."
Domovoi Butler gave a curt nod. "I took the liberty of cross-referencing possible culprits on the Interpol site while you were viewing the video stream."
Artemis nodded. "And?"
"I'm afraid the results were most inconclusive."
Artemis raised his eyebrows questioningly, in a manner that clearly said, "explain".
"There were over two thousand results," Butler clarified.
Artemis sighed again and rested his head in his hands. He allowed his mind to drift a moment before returning to his usual demeanor.
"Very well. We have work to do, Butler. Lead on."
The two stood and walked in the direction of the violated room, content in amiable silence.
When they reached the room in question, Artemis pulled two pairs of latex gloves from his pocket, donning one and handing the other to Butler. He then carefully extracted a few plastic bags and a pair of tweezers.
Butler raised his eyebrows, a gesture that his old friend knew to mean, 'why on earth do you have all this in your pockets?!?!?'
Artemis smirked. "Really, Butler," came the light reprimand, "you should know by now that I am always prepared."
Butler sighed and shook his head. Always one step ahead, Master Artemis. His expression darkened. Except for last night. He almost pitied the thief; you don't cross a Fowl, most especially this particular one, and expect to get away with it. Everyone knew of Artemis' not-so-lawful endeavors, and for all anyone knew he was still a cold-hearted criminal. Butler had to scoff at that one, hardened criminal indeed. The man had always possessed a strong sense of conscience, and he had been but a child when he committed the crimes everyone held him responsible for! But that was beside the point. That was everyone's impression of Master Fowl, so why did anyone dare break into the manor? How they managed to do so was an entire other matter in itself.
Artemis' not-so-discreet clearing of his throat awakened Butler from his reverie. Butler blinked, the world coming back into focus, and smiled mentally at the man's raised eyebrow. "Earth to Butler," he said, great amusement in his tone, "Anybody home?"
"My apologies, Master Artemis. I was… thinking."
He nodded. "And have you come to any profitable conclusions?" he asked the manservant.
He sighed in response. "I'm afraid I've only unearthed more questions."
Artemis gave a heavy sigh, the sigh of one who had borne many grievances in their lifetime. "An unfortunate by-product of such an endeavor, I'm afraid." He quickly regained his composure. "Come, Butler. We have detective work to do."
As they stepped to the case the diamond had previously inhabited, Butler placed a halting hand on his employer's shoulder. He was sure Artemis would have already considered it, but he still felt compelled to say something…
"Artemis, wait. If you are the one to examine the clues left by the perpetrator, isn't it quite likely that the police will merely pass the evidence off as fabricated?"
"And what course of action do you suggest, Butler? Ought I to call in the police, say a diamond was stolen from me and ask them to come examine the evidence? Really, Butler, they know all too well of my 'criminal record'. How much do you really think this will hurt the family funds, my friend? Not at all. It won't put even the tiniest dent in the sums I gained from any of the more… unsavory conquests I previously engaged in. They won't bother to send anyone over, as you very well know. No, it is best if we examine the evidence ourselves, and then trick the perpetrator into revealing himself. This is a personal matter, Butler, and commands to be handled as such."
The manservant nodded and stood in silence as Artemis brushed fingerprint powder over the glass cases, but frowned when nothing appeared. Artemis, however, was undaunted, nodding in understanding.
"Master Artemis?" he inquired quizzically.
"It is to be expected," he said, half speaking to himself. He then turned to Butler. "Think about it. If this criminal was skilled enough to break into the manor, do you really think he would have been daft enough to leave fingerprints?"
Butler nodded. It made sense.
"However," said Artemis, a little of the old scheming spark in his eyes, "the nature of the diamond's encasement makes it impossible to remove it while wearing gloves or any other type of protective clothing.
"The added bulk would greatly decrease maneuverability and, consequently, set off the alarms," Butler contributed, beginning to understand his charge's plan.
Artemis smiled. "Exactly. In order to remove the diamond, the culprit must have first removed his gloves. A criminal of this magnitude would not have been foolish enough to allow any fingerprints to land anywhere besides the diamond, but there is a part of the human anatomy that even masterminds cannot get around." Artemis pulled a Petri dish from the seemingly bottomless pockets of his suit and scraped something from the bottom of the container with a Q-tip, smiling happily.
Yes, the old glint was back in his eyes, the look he got whenever he was solving a particularly difficult, to normal people, anyway, puzzle. Despite the fact that he no longer engaged in criminal enterprises, he enjoyed solving problems such as this. He had, until recently, planned dastardly acts, not to execute them, but for the challenge it presented. Holly, however, had discovered them a few weeks before, and a giant misunderstanding had occurred, one that caused a lot of tears on the woman's part and a couple migraines on Artemis'. Eventually his wife had made him promise to stop planning, just in case the police ever found them and misunderstood them, and since then the man had found himself quite bored, especially as Holly and their four year old daughter Ebony were currently on what Holly called a "long overdue and well deserved girls week out", a development that had, until now, severely depressed the former criminal mastermind.
Consequently, it pleased the manservant greatly to see this spark of life back in his employer's eyes.
"What would that be, Master Artemis?" Butler inquired, for his part thoroughly confused.
"Skin on the human body is constantly dying and separating from the upper epidermis," Artemis elaborated. "These skin cells will, hopefully, contain the perpetrator's genetic information."
Domovoi raised his eyebrows. "Hopefully?" the manservant asked. He may have been a military genius and skilled defense artist, but biology was far beyond him.
"About eighty percent of the human population carry their genetic information in all cells of their body, in which case the skin cells we collect will easily prove his guilt."
"And the other twenty percent?" Butler inquired.
Artemis sighed. "The other twenty percent carry their genetic information only in their blood. And as we obviously do not have a blood sample…" He trailed off. "Although there is undoubtedly a higher percent of secretors than non, twenty percent is a great deal of people that could have quite easily broken into the manor. We will simply have to hope, Butler." He sighed and instructed the manservant to mail the sample immediately. "I want this whole mess taken care of before Holly and Ebony get back. It would not do for them to become involved."
Butler nodded. "Very well, Master Artemis." He stood and called up the nearest hospital, asking them if they could do an analysis of the skin cell sample. Upon mentioning that he was Artemis Fowl the Second's manservant, the secretary quickly agreed, and Butler drove up to the hospital and dropped off the sample. He was told that it should be ready in two or three days, and that they would call when the analysis was complete.
Details settled, Domovoi returned to the limo and drove home to inform Artemis of the time table. Artemis nodded once before returning to his microscope. Butler blinked. "Artemis?" he asked.
When the man turned to him, Butler continued. "Why did we give the sample to the hospital if you are going to analyze it yourself?"
"I, for one, sincerely doubt that the court will take my word for it if and when I identify the culprit. The sample was sent to the lab so that we will have scientific, certified proof. If any turns up, that is."
Butler nodded. It was like Artemis to want to do things himself, and also very much like him to be sure he would have judicially recognized proof. Always one step ahead, Master Artemis.
It was also likely that he would be able to recognize the DNA pattern. One of his more recent hobbies had been classifying and identifying the DNA of every criminal he had ever come in contact with, and then some.
He was about to go find his sister and ask her to make them both some long overdue lunch when Artemis gasped. The bodyguard knelt by his side, a worried expression on his face. Despite Madame Ko's teachings, he cared deeply for his charge, who was the closest thing he had ever had to a son.
"Artemis?" he asked hesitantly. "What's wrong?"
The haunted eyes of a frightened young child looked back at him. "It's Jon Spiro, Dom. And if I know him, this won't be his last strike."
Butler felt fear well up inside him, an unfamiliar and unwelcome feeling. It was true, Jon Spiro most likely would be back. The man was clinically insane after all, driven crazy by the incident with the LEP Recon so many years ago. Jon Spiro would be back. And he would be out for Artemis' blood.
Unable to make a court case without solid evidence, they had waited with bated breath until the test results had come in. Unable to identify the genetic code by itself, the lab scientists had done a paternity test at Artemis' suggestion, using Mary and Jacob Spiro as the prospective parents. Sure enough, just as in the Ian Simms case of '88, the coded bands on the slip of paper had matched up, and Jon Spiro was captured and sent to jail on account of theft and jailbreak.
This did nothing, however, to ease Artemis' worries. Spiro had escaped jail once, he could do it again. And with Holly and Ebony coming home soon… Artemis sighed. He would have to tell her. Holly would be upset at being left out of the action, of course, police work was her one true passion, but he knew that in the end her good judgment would win out and she would take Ebony to Haven with her for her safety.
Of course, that wasn't going to stop her from putting up a good fight first.
"Artemis Johanasen Fowl the Second!" Holly cried, her hazel eyes afire with anger, "How dare you expect me to sit back and do nothing while you take on Jon Spiro single-handedly? You know how dangerous he is!"
Artemis sighed, immensely regretting telling her what had happened, especially so soon after she had come home. "Indeed I do, Holly, which is exactly why I want you and Ebony to go stay with either Root or Foaly for a while. It is too risky to have you around, Spiro could attack you as means to get to me."
There were tears in Holly's eyes now. "I won't leave you here, Artemis," she said softly. "I won't."
"Holly," he replied, his tone just as soft, "please. I don't want to see you or Ebony get hurt, and nowhere above ground is safe. Do this for me, Holly," he pleaded. "Please."
Holly, sensing her husband's distress, decided to relent a bit and meet him in the middle, although her proposition wasn't really all that sacrificing, as it was probably something she would have done anyway.
"How about this," she began. "I'll take Ebony to Foaly and ask him to baby-sit her for a while, you know how much he loves her." At Artemis' nod, she continued. "But I'm coming back." She noticed he was about to protest and help up a hand to stop him. "Hear me out, Artemis," she requested firmly. "I can take care of myself, you know that. I'm one of the best Recon officers out there. I can hold my own in nearly any firefight, as I have proven time and again. I can help, Artemis," she reiterated. "You know I can."
"Yes, Holly, I know, but I would never forgive myself if you were hurt."
"Well I won't be, and then you wont have anything to worry about!" she exclaimed.
Artemis sighed once more. Holly wasn't described as the most stubborn elf since Frond himself for nothing. "Very well. But if things get too dangerous you are to leave immediately, understood?"
Holly nodded, well aware that he would not be able to enforce this in the midst of battle.
Artemis, knowing all to well what was running through her mind and realizing he had been fighting a loosing battle from the start, gave in, silently grateful that he wouldn't have to go through this ordeal alone. "All right, then. Let's go see Ebony."
Holly smiled as she linked arms with her husband. "I've missed you," she said softly.
"And I you," he replied. "And I you."
Midnight found the Fowl family silently driving to Tara. They reached the shuttle pod entrance, and Artemis hugged his daughter one last time. They didn't know how long it would be before Spiro was incarcerated, but it was safe to say the girl would be gone for a few months at least.
Ebony looked sadly up at her father. "You're not coming to Haven, daddy?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.
Artemis smiled. "No, baby, I'm not. Butler and I have to stay here and keep watch for a very bad man who might hurt us."
Ebony looked apprehensive at this, and Artemis quickly covered, "It's all right, sweetie. You're just going to visit Uncle Foaly for a while, while we take care of the bad man, okay?"
She nodded and hugged her father once more before climbing into the shuttle pod with her mother. Holly revved up the engine and the girl smiled, worries temporarily forgotten. Her mother was flying… This would be fun.
Two hours and a couple dozen cups of coffee later, Artemis' nerves were finally calmed as Holly walked through the front door. He had tensed for a moment, at first believing her to be Jon Spiro, but had quickly relaxed as he saw that it was his wife entering the manor.
"Okay," she said, sitting down at the dining room table, "Ebony's safe in Haven. What's the plan?
Artemis, it was true, had a plan in almost every situation, and an ingenious one at that. This, however, was one of the times when people's unwavering confidence in his abilities caused them to be disappointed… "I don't know, Holly," he said softly. "I really don't know." At that moment, he looked very much like the child he had left behind at such a very young age, lost, alone… Even afraid.
Holly laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Artemis," she said softly, although inside she was fighting the urge not to cry, as her only hope had been in his having a plan, "We'll find a way. We will. I promise."
Artemis sighed. "But what if Jon attacks before then?"
Holly steeled her expression, the determination clear in her eyes. "Trust me," she told him. "We'll be ready."
It turned out that, for security reasons, Holly had been able to talk the Council into letting them hire an entire Retrieval squad for an indefinite period of time. It would be their job to take out Spiro if he came, until a better plan was devised, of course, and they were even toying with the idea of placing him in fairy prison… Maybe even Howlers' Peak. After all, there was small likelihood he would escape from there… But then again, there was also little chance of the council agreeing to such a thing. They were miffed enough that Artemis, Juliet, and Butler knew of the People, they weren't going to let Jon down there by a long shot, incarcerated or not.
The question was, then, where could he go? He had already proved he could escape from human prison, and as fairy prison was clearly out of the question…
Artemis was drawn from his reverie by the beeping of his laptop. He lifted the screen and clicked "accept video transmission", curious. Who would wish to speak with him at such a late hour?
He waited a moment for the visualization screen to appear, and then did a double-take. "Foaly?" he exclaimed. "Why-"
"No time, Fowl," Foaly interrupted, "just listen. I'm sending Corporal Kelp up with some prototype technology. You'll have to return it once Spiro is caught, mind, but it ought to aid you in your plans."
Artemis winced mentally and allowed Foaly to keep talking, skating over the fact that he didn't have a plan.
"He should be there in fifteen minutes or so. Just take the stuff and send him right back, he won't be able to explain any of it to you, trust me. I think you'll be able to figure out most of it on your own, and what you can't, Holly will probably recognize. I'll check back in about an hour to see how everything is coming along. Or will you have decided to sleep tonight by then?"
Artemis laughed. "I think that's out of the question tonight, Foaly. Although you never know, Holly might order me to bed in a couple of hours. She's normally a lot more adamant about sleeping, she lectures me a lot on how bad for you it is to not sleep at least eight hours a night, and it's fairly obvious I'm not going to get that tonight. I was a night owl as a child, sometimes I still am, I can handle a night or two without sleep. But you know how Holly is."
Foaly laughed. "Yea… Well, sorry Mud Boy, but I have to go now. I would actually like to sleep for once…"
Artemis chuckled as well. "Very well, Foaly. It was nice talking to you. Until next time…"
"Yes, until then. Over and out, Fowl."
Artemis went downstairs and retrieved the equipment from Grub Kelp and placed it in his store room for closer examination the next morning. It was better to sleep now and not get reamed out by Holly the next morning… He laid down, pulled the covers over his head, and fell into the blissful oblivion that was sleep.
Several hours later, Artemis, Holly, Butler, Juliet, and the Retrieval squad were awakened by a deafening blast.
They raced downstairs, and were startled to see a fire burning in the room under Holly and Artemis'. The worst part, however, was the state of the room- it was in shambles. All the furniture was blown to pieces, the coffee table was charred black, and the draperies were still burning intensely.
Artemis slowly walked over to the couch, where the explosion seemed to have originated from, while Butler doused the fire with an extinguisher. He picked up the small blasting cap, confirming his suspicions. He had thought the fire to be too small to be caused by a homemade explosive device, it had most likely been caused by a much larger explosive, such as TNT or RDX, and now he was certain. Primer charges weren't necessary for small scale bombs. That meant Jon was getting some serious money from somewhere. But how? He was on the run- he couldn't just walk into a bank and make a withdrawal. But then where was his money coming from? And, more importantly, who?
This train of thought was leading him nowhere. He needed to compile a mental list of all the people he knew who held a grudge against him and had the funds to supply Jon' madness. He could think of quite a few actually, but he doubted Jon would have approached them. They, therefore, much have approached Jon himself… But if the police had been unable to find him, how had this mysterious supplier? Who on earth had the technology to find an escaped criminal such as Jon without the police knowing?
His mental listing suddenly got much shorter, and he looked at the last two people there, a feeling of dread growing in the pit of his stomach. One of the names on the list was of a man who had been dead for quite some time, and the other a woman prison. Neither capable of assisting Spiro. But the woman…
Artemis gulped audibly and prepared himself, for he knew the worst was yet to come. He had a feeling that he knew exactly who on, or rather under, the earth was responsible for assisting Jon.
Okay, what does everyone think? Remember, I had to do this, so no one say I shouldn't have started another story! Working on chapter two now, this project is due in a week and a half! Ack! Bye! Please review!
Torina