Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura.
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A/n: I do realise that it has been a long time since I wrote anything on fanfiction or even read anything from fanfiction. I have been far too busy with things and oh my good God, I swear, I will find time for everything that I want to. So, to all of you reviewers who know who I am or even remember who I am, my name is Angel-Hiragizawa32. I'd like to make a small shout out to KyteAura and Dana Daidouji! My two beautiful sisters who I have been sort of neglecting. This story goes out to you, I'm not sure how many chapters this would be but I'm sure to finish this one! This will be my first ExT, CCS written project of the year and I hope you all like it.
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Title: Mentally Disturbed
Ratings: R- due to some rather insanely disturbing chapters in the future.
Genre: Romance/ Angst
Summary: Tomoyo had always been known as the girl who is in control but one day, her world comes crumbling down when she stopped coping with life. She signed herself into a mental institute to try and sort herself out. There, she meets an old friend who helps her understand the inner problems that she is facing. Suddenly, the sane doesn't seem so sane anymore when things start going wrong. ExT.
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Tomoyo-chan! What's going on?
Daidouji-san, I believe we have a meeting later in the afternoon.
Miss Daidouji, you have an appointment with a Mr. Thompson at 3pm.
Tomoyo-chan, are you alright?
Miss Daidouji, I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Daidouji-san, your mother has just passed away.
Here you go miss, a jug of beer.
Miss, are you alright?
Tomoyo-chan, you should stop drinking.
A double shot of vodka n lime, as you have ordered miss.
~*~
My name is Tomoyo Daidouji. I'm 24 years old and I'm the CEO of the Daidouji Enterprise. I've got black shoulder length hair and dark amethyst eyes. I used to live a very happy life where everything I knew was in place. I had friends, I had family and best of all, I had a life to live for. I was always known as the organized one, the girl who had everything planned out to detail, the one who is always in control. I graduated with honours from University and I worked with for my mother, starting from the top and still at the top. I ended up taking over the company when she retired. I kept in contact with my best friend, Sakura Kinomoto who is now happily married to her childhood sweetheart, Syaoran Li. Almost every weekend; I'd see them and spend time with them at one point. Then, my schedule became more packed and my daily events started to change. I stopped seeing the people that I loved the most. I became busy with work and the Daidouji enterprise. I started traveling more often than any other corporate businessmen I know. I became a workaholic. To take away the stress, I turned to the one thing that could take it all away with just a sip or a gulp, alcohol. It went on for a while and the amount of alcohol that I took increased by the day.
My mother passed away just a month ago. That was when my alcohol intake started rising. I grew depressed, no one could help me. The moment I heard the news from the doctor that my mother had passed away, I felt like there was no one else in this world to live for. Adding the fact that Sakura and Syaoran had left for Hong Kong permanently, there was no one else for me anymore. A small glass of wine turned into a bottle of vodka every night. My life became a mess. I stopped going to work and I gave myself leave for not being able to cope. Believe it or not, I gave myself 'stress leave'.
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I knew I needed help and I got help. I signed in to a mental institute to help sort my inner demons out. Who would have thought? Tomoyo Daidouji, sensible lass of the 21st century, signing herself into a mental asylum to get a 'reality check'. Alright, I lied. I did not technically sign myself in on my own free will. My doctors were the ones who forced me into it. They threatened to get in line with my lawyers to make sure that I get myself sorted or else, I will lose my company. I am not insane or am I mentally retarded. So what if I just drank lots of alcohol? Jesus, it's not like those things can kill you. Oh well, no use arguing with my doctors. After all, they do have control of my life in some screwed up ways. So, here I am standing in front of the main entrance to the Donovan Institute, Manchester. It was apparently the best 'mental asylum' in England. I didn't care what stupid crazy house it is called or how good it was, I just knew that I had to get in and get out as soon as I can. I took my first steps into the building and straight to the administration department where a rather elderly woman asked me what I wanted and who I was.
"I'm Tomoyo Daidouji, I've been sent here by Doctor Yamasaki of St. Patrick's Hospital, New York".
She looked at her papers and picked on her files before checking with the computer. Then, she nodded her head and got back to me.
"According to my data, you have been enrolled here for help, Miss Daidouji", she said, smiling.
I stared back into her eyes, demanding that she stop pointing out the obvious.
"Oh sorry, where are my manners? My name is Jill, I'm the receptionist here. I'll be out there with you in a second", she said.
When she got out, I smiled at her, as though as I was grateful that she will bring me to wherever I was to go to. She carried my suitcase for me and took me walking into a long empty corridor before we turned left where we continued on walking to another corridor. It was a silent walk until she brought me into this odd looking room with dark doors. She opened the door and I was brought to meet Doctor Michelle Anthony. She was the head psychiatrist in the institute. She looked probably as young as I do. She was thin and she had long brown chestnut hair. She introduced herself to me and somehow, got me to sit down and talk to her. She waved off Jill, the receptionist and told her to tell a Kerri person to prepare a room for me.
"Miss Daidouji, this is the first time I've ever gotten a patient specifically from Japan", she said.
"Well, this is my first time being in a mental institute. So don't worry, you're not the only one who feels awkward", I said, smiling sweetly.
"Doctor Yamasaki had specifically told me that you are going through some problems with alcohol and depression due to your mother's death a month ago", she said, reading a piece of paper with my name on it, black n white.
"This I have already known, anything else that I don't' know about?" I asked.
"Miss Daidouji-"
Before she could continue, I held my hand up.
"Tomoyo, Miss Daidouji is a bit too formal since I'm going to be here for a while", I continued.
"Tomoyo, you are here so that we could help you get over your issues with alcohol and depression. We are not here to cause you even more stress, we are going to take that away from you so you can be a better person", Doctor Anthony said.
"Doctor Anthony, let me make something clear to you. You cannot take away stress from me. It is built in me and it is what I grew up with. Stress is nature to me. I can't be a better person if I already am a better person", I said, calmly.
"That is not true, Tomoyo and you know it. You drank so much that you went into a coma for 3 days!" she continued.
I looked straight into her eyes and laughed, bitterly.
"I didn't drink till I went into a coma. I took pills till I went into a coma. Get your facts straight, doctor", I answered.
Then, she picked up a pen and started writing on the paper with my name on it.
"You should know better than to take sleeping pills with Rum, Tomoyo. That proves to me that you are not a better person", she mentioned.
"Are you a better person, Doctor Anthony? How do you define a better person?" I asked.
She paused for a while, took a deep breath, looked at me and continued writing.
"I'm putting you on trial for a week without medications, if things do not improve, I'll give you medication. You will be staying here for a month, Miss Daidouji and you will be released when I see that you are fit enough to be released", she continued, not answering my question.
I waited for her answer but it never came. Then, she picked up her call receiver and sent for someone to come and get me.
"I shall see you tomorrow for a talk and you will be meeting your 2nd psychiatrist, Doctor Smith", she said, smiling at me.
I accepted her smile and sat there, staring into her green eyes, subconsciously taunting her intelligence of not knowing how to defend herself. I looked around her room. It had certificates hung up her wall and she had a fantastic view of the lake nearby. I started to wonder, what the hell am I doing here? I don't' need help. She knows just as much as I do that I'm perfectly healthy. We were in complete silence until someone knocked on her door and came in to get me. It was one of the nurses around, I'm assuming. Her badge said 'Emily' and she was probably 40. I couldn't help but notice how sickeningly 'pleasant' all these people looked.
Emily took me walking around the place and introduced me to many other nurses as we walked past them. She showed me around and it was strange how there was no one outside on such a beautiful spring day. Finally, she took me to the 'other side' of the institute where all the other patients were at. That was when I realized that it was a co-ed institute. There were men and women, no, girls and boys younger than I am around there. When I walked pass them, they looked at me in the strangest way. They were all doing something or rather. Some were painting, some were watching movies, some were just looking strangely at me. Emily brought me to my room where I was acquainted to my room mate by the name of Alicia.
"Alicia, this is Tomoyo. She is a new patient here. I hope you will help her fit in, Alicia", Emily, the nurse said.
Alicia looked no more than 18 years old to me. She had long black hair and the darkest blue eyes that I've ever seen in my life. She looked pleasant, slim and beautiful. She didn't seem like an 'insane' person to me. I start to wonder again, is this an insane asylum or is this a holiday home? When Emily left, Alicia introduced herself to me.
"Hey there, I'm Alicia", she said, taking her hand out.
That was when I noticed the multiple scratches on her wrist. They looked deep but not deep enough to have killed her, obviously. She sensed my awkwardness to her wrist and smiled.
"Some of us here have strange ways of coping with our 'mental illnesses. I'm here because of depression and because I'm obsessed with hurting myself. What are you here for?" she asked, as if it was a normal thing to ask.
It took me a while to recover from the shock before I answered her.
"Depression and alcoholism", I answered, trying to sound calm.
"It's alright to be 'mentally out of it' or 'insane' as most people would call it every once in a while. Everyone here is either really mad or just scraping the surface of being insane", she said, laughing bitterly.
I sat on the bed and looked around. It looked like a normal room to me. There was a dresser and 2 single beds. The windows however were a different story. It was barred and locked. Alicia continued to study me.
"You're a rich girl, aren't you? Tired of the world being too perfect, I'm assuming. Did your parents pushed you too hard to perfection that you finally snapped or is it an aftermath affect?" she started assuming.
I was getting slightly agitated with this girl.
"No, my mother died a month ago and I've never known my father. Yes, I am a rich girl, as you would like to call it", I answered.
She smiled and took my hand to check if I had any scratches on my wrists.
"You look too perfect to me, Tomoyo. You've got the perfect hair, skin, nails, looks and air but there is something strangely odd about you that makes you just as insane as I am", she said.
I was confused.
"Are you insane, Alicia?" I asked.
Then, she went to her side of the room and picked up a piece of paper and a pencil. She looked at me straight in the eye and scribbled something. That was when I realized that she drew a circle, not just any circle. She drew a perfect circle.
"They say that if you can draw a perfect circle, you are insane", she said.
She handed me the pencil and made me draw a circle. I took the pencil and drew one. I gasped, looking at what I have just drawn.
"Welcome to the Donovan Institute, Tomoyo", she said, smiling.
Good God, am I really insane? Damn, there is no alcohol here.
~*~
I got some sleep for the night but I spent most of it, getting to know Alicia. I was right, she was 18. She shared a great deal with me about how long she has been in this institute. It was quite ironic how it turns out that she was American and she was sent here by her 'rich corporate parents' to 'get better' for Harvard. She was the rich girl in school that everyone loved and wanted to be like. She had everything that could get her anyway but getting everything was what that made her depressed. Her parents were hardly at home and when they were, they expected so much from her. When she stopped coping and attempted suicide more than 3 times and did not die, her parents sent her to Donovan. Alicia has been here for 6 months and she told me that being here was better than being at home. She woke me up to take me for a 'friendly tour' of the people and the place that we were supposed to be in. We went walking around different corridors and she took me outside to the gardens where we met up with a lot of people, all odd in their own different ways.
"People! I want you guys to meet my room mate, Tomoyo", Alicia shouted out.
Within seconds, they all crowded us.
"Tomoyo, this is Dave the Fag, Bernice the druggie, Kelly the suicidal, Ben the evil and Jake the angst", she said.
She continued to introduce me to the rest but my attention was stolen by a guy who was painting at the far corner. He had dark navy blue hair and he was tall. He had rather fair skin as well and to me, he was awfully familiar. When Alicia finished introducing me to the people around, I asked her about the guy who was painting.
"Alicia, who is that?" I asked, pointing at the painter.
Alicia looked and suddenly, her face became relatively pale.
"Uh, that's erm, Eriol. No one goes near him because he's just the really weird one out of all of us. He is always on his own, quiet and always painting. For some reason, he always talks to himself and paints this lady with red hair. I heard from the nurses that it was cause he lost his girlfriend or wife to an accident or something and he was the one driving. He's been here for quite some time, 4 years I think", Alicia said.
"He is always with Gwen", Dave said.
"Who's Gwen?" I asked.
They all turned pale.
"Gwen is the nurse who looks after Eriol. She personally looks after him and is paid a high sum of money to as well. She's not what I would say a 'good nurse' would be. She is really overprotective of Eriol and she is always touching him or doing something with him that no nurse should be doing with patients", Kelly said, in a small and timid voice.
I looked at the painter again and I saw his painting. The painting and the painter was familiar to me, even the name was familiar to me but I just couldn't figure out who it was. Then, everyone around me started to hiss which made me feel quite strange.
"Speak of the devil", Alicia said.
I turned and saw an auburn haired nurse who had a really voluptuous body walking towards the painter. For some reason, I had a real bad feeling about her. I watched as she started to put her arms around the painter and whispering into his ear. I was a bit taken back to see a professional nurse acting the way she did to this guy, man, boy, whatever he was.
"She never lets any of us girls talk to him as if we would want to! Humph, she's such a whore of a bitch", Bernice said, puffing on her cigarette.
"Oh for fuck's sake people, what is up with your asses if she's giving him pleasure? Fuck, I wouldn't mind having some of that ass either", Jake said, angrily.
For some reason, I started laughing and it created some sort of a chain reaction because at the end of it, everyone but Jake was laughing and he wasn't really pleased about that. He started swearing at me for laughing at him when he is talking sense. That sort of made me laugh even more but eventually, I stopped and apologized. Jake was too angry to even accept my apology, he swore even more and walked off to a tree and started to punch it.
"As you can see, that is why we call him Jake the angst", Alicia said.
"Come on, let's get some breakfast", Kelly said.
They walked in and pulled me with them. I looked again at the painter who somehow still seemed really familiar to me and watched as the nurse had her way with him. I felt disgusted and sorry for the painter. Then, he turned around and looked at me. I saw his eyes and somehow, it was like something just hit me. I knew who he was. It was as though as he sent something to me. I could have sworn that I saw a strange blue bolt coming towards me. I knew who he was. The painter who was in the same institute that I was in was none other than the boy who appeared mysteriously in Tomoeda when I was 11. Then, it hit me who his girlfriend was in the accident. I stood there, staring back into the eyes of the painter.
Hello Daidouji-san, nice to see you again.
I gasped, hearing his voice in my head. He knew who I was.
I will come and talk to you after lunch, meet me here.
I nodded my head and turned around, walking towards the dining hall. He was still the sorcerer that he was if he had spoken to me telepathically. Either that or I'm really losing it here in this mental Asylum. I can't believe it, what a small world this is. Eriol Hiragizawa is here as a patient as well. Who would have thought that I would be here? Even more, who would have thought that Eriol would be here too?
*to be continued*
A/n: Man, this is weird, even for me. I hope you like what you have read so far and oh gosh, if you hated it, please do not flame me. I'm just experimenting. This story is going to get weirder, trust me. I think it has been done in some odd way but I'm taking it into a really dark and deep road. This story is going to be quite angst as it goes and you guys are going to find out a lot of ODD things in here. ^_^ Until next time!