You Needed Me

It was autumn in New York, that season that changed from feeling like late summer to winter in the blink of an eye and back again, as if it couldn't make up it's mind what it wanted to be. Brown leaves were on the ground symbolising the plants that were dying. Samantha Spade walked along slowly, kicking the leaves in the path ahead of her, so they sprayed up and all around. The park was the only place where she could think. It was a place that had not ties to anybody or anything. A place that was as personal or as impersonal as you wished it to be, a place of solitude or company, where you could think in peace. Sam had first discovered it years ago when she'd just moved to New York, it had become her secret haven, that got her up when she was down and rang with joy when she was happy. Right now in the evening light she wasn't thinking anything very much, trying to forget about the case they had just completed. Sam glanced across the park and saw an impromptu football game, in which there were far too many players and consequently nobody knew whose team they were on. Smiling Sam leaned against the nearest tree and stopped to watch them. They looked so happy and innocent, despite the dangers that went hand in hand with living in a big city. It reminded Sam of her childhood, back when she'd been happy living in a small town nobody had ever heard of. Sam's trip down memory lane was cut short by the shrill ringing of her cell phone.

"Spade." Sam answered, checking the caller ID, it was the bureau. Sam frowned more than slightly annoyed. She hadn't got more than five hours sleep in the past forty-eight hours, she'd been given the rest of today and tomorrow off, she'd come to the park to unwind because she couldn't sleep. What did they want?

"Hey Sam." Jack greeted her.

"Jack, what are you doing calling me from the bureau?" Sam asked, "You know they monitor the calls."

"Just the numbers Sam. Besides what's wrong with me calling an agent on my team, after a hard case?" Jack pointed out, in his office propping his head up on his hands.

"Nothing, I guess I'm just paranoid. What are you still doing at the office anyway? Van Doren gave us the rest of the day off."

"I know. I wanted to get the paperwork done . . you know see if we missed anything." Jack explained, Sam bit her lip, Jack never could accept it when they lost one until he'd made sure there was nothing else they could have done, and not even then sometimes.

"What are you calling me for then?" Sam asked tiredly, leaving the tree and starting the walk back towards her apartment.

"I don't know. I guess I wanted to hear your voice." It was then that Sam knew how hard this case had hit him personally. Every agent had cases that affected them more than others, but why had this one hurt Jack so bad?

"Do you want to come over?" Jack winced silently, he needed to go so badly, he needed just to feel Sam's presence nearby. Marie however expected him home already, how would he explain being another few hours, or even not coming home at all. Jack thought hard for a moment, listening to Sam's breathing on the phone.

"I'll see you soon." Jack replied suddenly making the decision. He put the receiver back down and pulled his jacket on, before picking up his keys and heading out of his office. Sam checked her watch, it would take him about twenty minutes to get to her apartment, just enough time for her to get back there if she hurried. All the time she was walking she was thinking about Jack, he'd paused way too long for it to be a yes, something was seriously bothering him.

Sam got back to her apartment a minute before Jack arrived. Hearing the now familiar knock on the door she let him in. As soon as he walked in the door he shed his coat, draping it over the back of the couch. He then stood there, undecided as what to do next. Sam solved the problem for him, by sitting down on the couch.

"You want to talk about it?" Sam asked, studying Jack's face, seeing the sorrow in his eyes.

"It's a . . a . . I . . My mother . . some cases er . ." Jack didn't know how to say it Sam realised, that was odd, Jack always knew how to say everything. "You know that some cases, hit you particularly hard because they relate to a part of your life." Sam nodded, not knowing where he was going with this but knowing she'd be there for him at the end. "This case hit me the same way." Jack then turned away, unable to meet her gaze any longer. He'd never talked to anybody about this, he didn't think he ever could. Sam thought hard, they'd just had a suicide case of a mother, who had a teenage boy. Sam knew that Jack's mother was dead, but not much else because he never talked about her. Sam closed her eyes realising and understanding in an instant. Wordlessly she leaned against Jack and they shared an embrace. Nobody knows how long they would have stayed like that if they hadn't been interrupted, by the shrill ring of Jack's cell phone.

"Malone." Jack answered it wearily. "Yeah . . yeah I understand." Jack turned to Sam. "That was Van Doren. Tomorrows one day vacation is off." Sam nodded, she'd been expecting that. "And she wants to see me in her office tomorrow. Could be nothing of course, except for the fact she said she'd tried my home number first." Sam's breath caught in her throat, she could see that Jack was going to continue, perhaps outline some strategies, but she didn't want to hear it right now, it had been a bad enough day already. Sam leaned in and started to kiss Jack, after a second he responded.

Later after Jack had left Sam realised it was the beginning of the end.