Stuck-up Beauty, Reformed Beast, by Raberba girl

Part 4 (Motoko)

I collapse back onto the bench. Akito Sohma...he looks so much like him.

I grit my teeth in anger. I've spent the past year and a half trying to forget about Yuki, the angel who stole away my heart, my high grades, and most of my intelligence in high school.

I wasted so much of my life on him, so much time and effort and money...those two years are hazy in my memory, just a big cloud of Yuki. Trailing Yuki, organizing his fanclub, dreaming about Yuki, making and collecting every kind of Yuki-related object I could think of. Driving myself crazy-jealous over girls who seemed to get closer to Yuki than I could.

It was insane. I realized that a few months into college. One day I just looked at all my Yuki stuff, and I thought to myself, 'I am never going to see this boy again. I've spoken to him twice in my entire life. He smiles at girls like Tohru Honda and her friends, and hangs out with them constantly, and all he could ever spare for me was a few moments of sympathy.'

With those disturbing thoughts in mind, I had gotten out all my old journals, but could only make it through a few pages before I had to stop reading. It was disgusting. And heartbreaking, in a way. It was like my entire world had revolved around this boy, and it scared me when I realized that if Yuki was taken away, there wouldn't be much left.

I didn't like that feeling of being so aimless if left on my own.

I ended up burning all my journals and giving the rest of the stuff to Minami.

Now here I am. I thought I'd gotten over it. I thought I'd managed to turn Yuki into a fond high school memory, nothing more. Yet where was it I had run to when I was upset? The school where I met him. How come my heart is beating so fast, and my thoughts are racing? Because just now I met a boy, a man, who looks just like Yuki, even acts like him sometimes (that smile...so cold and yet so alluring). And what are the odds that he had to be related to my Yuki Sohma...

I rub at my face, trying to erode the image in my head of soft hair, dark eyes. Come on, Motoko, get over this. Don't start a new obsession. You'll just break your heart again.

'I've got to find out where he lives, at least. I can catch him if I hurry!'

O traitorous thoughts. I'm up and running before I can hesitate. There he is, just past the gate. I'd better slow down, I don't want him to see me.

He stops and watches a man cross the street, along with two boys that I recognize as Yuki's cousins. The four of them stand together and talk for a few minutes, and then they move away.

I follow at a distance.

to be continued...