Title: Over Rated
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): faint Dorothyx???
Word Count: 649 (whoops!)
Summary: the past was all she was, war was consuming her. A little life story of Dorothy.
AN: Enjoyable to write. I rather like this. No beta… shrugs The word count was unexpected. Strange how it just comes out of you.
It's strange to think yourself a little girl. Innocent, naïve, blond… well blonder. I can barely remember myself when I was young. When I played. Other than with someone's mind. With balls (ha!) and skipping ropes (tied up, mmm)? It just didn't seem me. Or my family. Especially my mother.
But I suppose I had to… once.
I have a photo… taken when I was young. Two years at the most. I have my arms around my father's neck, hair swinging. I'm laughing and smiling. Happy. My father stares down at me with love, joy, for me.
He died soon after that photo was taken I think. He was shot down. He perished. I don't really remember and don't feel like knowing.
My mother soon took over me. Education was strictly imposed upon me, when I had once had freedom. When I could play. And then…
I turned into myself. The person I am now. The person I was.
I wonder what would have happened had my father lived. Usually when I'm pissed out of mind and drowning my sorrows in large bottle of cheap vodka.
Otherwise I don't bother with that sentimental crap. A product of my mother's demented training. Wonderful.
She was ever so cold. Strangely so. It was like she wasn't totally there. When she did seems vaguely normal it was a mask.
One that I found myself wearing more and more.
I did worry that one day I would turn into her. The broken shell. And in the end she was that. I had outgrown her. And so… she was useless.
So…
After she committed suicide my grandfather took over my life. He introduced something that would make me burn, so I shook off my mother, and craved a new passion. Something that rages and burns! Fiery hot and painful to touch.
War.
I admit that my obsession was odd for a girl of my age. Shouldn't I be interested in horses? Or something…
But I hated my mother's coldness, her cool disdain. I wanted to sparkle. To shine! To be something she was never. A burning force of will.
That was me and yet…I was another tool for a man who quested and wanted domination. World domination.
Oh you wouldn't believe some of the Christmas's I've had when all the family is gathered. Mad, all of them, including myself. But I blended in. One of the few occasions I did. Perhaps that is why I no longer go to those gatherings… even if I did receive an invitation.
Because I choose to go alone. I want to be apart. I want to start anew. And they are simply not part of vision. They are still in the past. My past. I want to have a future. They cannot be part of that future. If I want this future.
And I do.
"I do."
My marriage is my future. With my new husband we will see great things and do wondrous things. He fulfills my bloodlust quite successfully. He is powerful and strong.
He is mine.
I am his.
But he doesn't dominate me, and I don't him.
I'm free and bound to him.
I met him when still consumed by my war passion. So long ago when I was still young. A little girl really. Playing with dolls and her toys. I never saw the future but was driven by ideals that should have been buried in the past. I wanted to win. I strive to win. It was me. I needed to win.
I'm a Winner now.
I lean forward and kiss him.
My future is assured. With him.
I smile. I don't smile much. Smirk maybe. Laugh maniacally yes. But smile?
World Domination can be so over rated, Grandfather darling.
And this is my future.
I'm happy. I can finally play. I'm sure daddy is happy too.
For I have a future.