As I Watch You From Above
Chapter III: My Hate For Your Blood
By: Black Demon Myst
As I watch you from above,
I feel all love, regret, and hate.
Strange, but true.
I would gladly point out all the reasons why
I feel these things
As I watch you from above.
As I watch you from above,
I feel love.
I feel love for you are my son.
I feel love for you are my kin.
I feel love for you are my skin and blood.
Well,
Half of it, at least.
You may not think I love you,
But truly, I do.
I know you loved and still love me,
Yet I could not show any of mine to you.
Which is why I feel regret.
As I watch you from above,
I feel regret.
I feel regret due to my actions.
I feel regret due to my irresponsibility.
I feel regret due to my favoritism.
I feel regret due to my cruelty,
And how I am now covered in my own blood,
The blood which was shed by my blood.
It was the one I favored who did this,
And yet you continued to love me.
But why do I feel hate?
Why am I to hate you?
I am unaware of why I hate you,
Yet I still feel it.
Maybe it is that I do not hate you.
Maybe it is that I really loved you.
I loved you with all my heart.
But you were that woman,
That woman who was with my man.
When I saw you,
I saw her.
Which is why I hated you.
I loved you,
But hated what was your blood.
Do you wish my happiness?
Do you wish my good?
I watch you from above,
And I see no grudge.
And I did so much.
I had a grudge against you,
Yet you did nothing at all.
I cannot turn back the hands of time.
I cannot pick up the flowers' petals;
I cannot wipe your wounds;
I cannot heal your bruises;
Now, that I can only watch you from above.
I pick up this flower,
It is a lotus.
It is red,
Yet is also white.
And I get pink.
It is soft, its hue and its feel.
When I see it,
I think of you, for you are blood,
Yet also so pure.
When I feel it,
I think of you, for you are so soft,
Yet so beautiful.
I cannot see why I failed to recognize such obvious details
When I still had my eyes.
Was it that the salt water blurred these?
Was it that I refused to see these?
Or was it that I could only see myself?
I could only see the false good I was doing.
How cruel.
For these I am truly sorry, my son.
For these I cry.
For that I wipe my eyes.
I know you wouldn't want me to cry
Even though your tears were what I wished for.
Now, I wish for eyes of joy
As I watch you from above.
It's obviously Gojyo's mother, whose name was never revealed.