Summary: Sakura was a bright woman who carefully planned out her life. When Sasuke suddenly breaks off their engagement, she struggles to change the only life she's ever known and begins to act unlike her modest self. Now pregnant by a man she doesn't even know, she barely sees the surface of the trouble she's gotten herself into. GaaSaku Modern AU
Rating: T for now, rating is subject to increase.
Pairing: Primarily Gaara/Sakura
Content warning: Drug use, swearing, sexual content, mentions of abortion.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series.
Important A/N: Hello everyone. I am a returning FF writer. The previous username I used to post under was "bonghitswithmileycyrus." About 7 years ago, I wrote a GaaSaku story titled "False Virtue." I lost my login information and the e-mail address linked to the account, so I never finished it and didn't have the motivation to rewrite it at the time. It's still on this site because I can't log in to delete it. I wanted to make note of this in case anyone happens to find this story familiar or locates that old fanfiction. This fanfic is a revision of that story. Also, this is one of my oldest accounts that I managed to log into, hence why it says I joined in 2012. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy :)
It had been two and a half months since Sasuke left Sakura and the life they were building together. Being a nurse, she always thought she'd be able to tolerate whatever life threw at her, so as long as she was able to understand even the darkest thoughts in her mind. She had watched grief through the eyes of others all her life, both in and outside the medical field. But, she had never truly had to live with grief herself.
She constantly reminded herself that Sasuke wasn't dead, and she should be grateful for that; however, the day he left, it was as if a key component of her soul had left with him. She had loved him since they were children. They were together since they were young teenagers, and now as adults in their mid-20s, they had been engaged and were talking about plans for their shared future. Sakura had quite literally built her entire life around Sasuke Uchiha. Now, he had moved on, and she was left with a hole in her heart that she wasn't sure how to fill.
Perhaps as a pathetic attempt to ease the blow, Sasuke had given her the classic 'it's not you, it's me' speech. He had to go 'find himself' and could only do it 'on his own.' 'Maybe we'll find our way back to each other,' he had said. His words rang hollow, with too little emotion or reason to be true, only lending further credence to Sakura's suspicions.
xxx
Sakura had always been the type that preferred to stay in on the weekends, but the thought of continuing this habit alone was eating at her. On a Friday night only one week after Sasuke had left, Naruto asked her to come out to the bars with him and some of their other friends to cheer her up. It worked at first; she was glad she agreed to leave her depressing abode. She laughed, danced, and felt genuinely happy for the first time all week. This is exactly what she needed: quality time with the people that loved her.
However, this euphoria would prove to be fleeting. When breaking apart from her group of friends to go use the restroom, she spotted Sasuke entering the front door of the bar. They made eye contact and she smiled immediately. Despite it being a week since they'd last seen each other and there had been no plans to meet up with him tonight, the positive feelings from the mere sight of him were almost reflexive. She took a step in his direction intending to greet him but was stopped in her tracks when a woman with long, red hair and black-rimmed glasses swiftly approached him. She linked one of her arms with his.
"K-Karin...?" Sakura whispered to herself. She couldn't understand what she was witnessing. 'What's she doing here with...' Then, her eyes widened and she couldn't help but let out an audible gasp when Karin reached up to kiss Sasuke on the cheek. She instantly welled up with tears when she looked back at Sasuke whose expression was that of someone who had just been caught in the act of betrayal. Slowly, her hands curled into fists.
Ino, spotting this situation from their group, quickly made her way over to Sakura. "Let's get out of here," she said, placing a hand on Sakura's shoulder. Sakura's demeanor changed instantly. She shrugged off Ino's hand, spun around, and stormed towards Naruto.
"Naruto!" she growled through clenched teeth.
Turning to the angry pink-haired woman stomping in his direction, Naruto's smile faded to a look of drunken concern, "W-what's wrong Sak-"
"How long?!"
"W...wh- what?" he stuttered.
"How. Long." Sakura repeated. "How long have you known about Sasuke and Karin?" She grabbed his collar and wrenched him off the bar stool, shaking him like a bobblehead. The bar went quiet. Sakura chose to ignore that all attention was now on her.
"Sakura! Calm down! What are you talking about?"
"Is this some sort of sick joke?" she insisted, "you three are all coworkers, and you had no idea THIS-" she released one of her hands to point in Sasuke and Karin's direction, "THIS, was going on?!" At this point, all the overlapping chatter in the bar had ceased. "It's only been a WEEK, Naruto. There's no way he just happened to move on that quickly. So I'm going to ask you one more time: HOW. LONG. How long did Sasuke cheat on me before he finally left me?"
"Sakura..." Naruto spoke calmly, "I promise you. I didn't know."
She let go of his collar but preserved her furious expression. "You didn't know," she mocked, "he's your coworker and your best friend, but you didn't know."
"Sakura, you're drunk - please, just calm dow-"
It took Naruto a moment to realize why his sentence had been cut off, and he was stumbling backward. Sakura had slapped him with so much force that he was knocked off his feet, caught only by the quick intervention of his friends from crashing to the floor.
Naruto cupped his stinging cheek and stared back at Sakura, fear in his eyes. He chose to remain silent this time. Sakura, breathing heavily from all the rage, turned around. She noticed that every pair of eyes in the bar, including Sasuke's, were on her. She ignored the overlapping comments coming from the crowd about "what a crazy bitch" she was and made her way to the exit, staring at Sasuke the entire time. If looks could kill, this would have been Sasuke's last moment.
"Ino," Naruto sniffled, fighting back tears, "I swear, I didn't-"
"I believe you," said Ino, inspecting the red handprint on his face. "Even if she hadn't been drinking, she's not herself right now." Naruto frowned and replied with an understanding nod.
"I'm going to make sure she gets home safely," said Lee. He followed after her and nobody stopped him. He was a worthy opponent of Sakura's drunken super strength and would surely be okay.
Since that night, the days and weeks that followed would not be any easier for Sakura. She quickly returned to isolation and buried herself in her work. Every day would begin the same. She'd wake up somewhere random in her apartment, eyes still red and puffy from crying herself to sleep. She'd allow herself a quick shower before work if she wasn't too hungover. At the end of her shift, she'd stop by a liquor store to purchase a cheap bottle of wine to drown out her thoughts - though, this would only bring them and her feelings out. Nobody was around to witness though, and she rarely had any recollection of anything that occurred within the hours before she fell asleep.
xxx
Two whole months since Sasuke left, Sakura woke up sometime in the late afternoon. Fortunately, she had slept through the hangover this time. She could feel the heat from the sun on her face, its rays beaming through the window and preventing her from opening her eyes right away. As she struggled to sit up, she blindly moved her hands around to get a sense of her surroundings.
'What is that awful smell?' she thought. She rubbed her sensitive eyes and blinked rapidly until her vision came into focus. She finally sat up and discovered she had fallen asleep on top of a large pile of dirty laundry that she had been neglecting and allowing to accumulate. She glanced around at the many wine bottles, food wrappers, dirty dishes, dried vomit, and other articles of clothing strewn about her bedroom. Sakura had always been very tidy, organized, so seeing the mess before her left her feeling deeply mortified. For a moment, she was certain this couldn't be her apartment but rather, the apartment belonging to some random, scummy frat boy that had never been taught proper hygiene and cleanliness.
She rolled off the laundry pile and rose to her feet, pinching her nose to save herself from taking in the smell any longer. She had to get out of this room. With her legs still stiff and in need of a nice, long stretch, she hobbled towards the door and pushed it open.
Outside of her bedroom, conditions were not much better. She stumbled over even more piles of dirty clothes as she made her way down the hall. She could only scan her kitchen briefly before the sight made her feel physically ill. While the living room didn't have any dirty dishes or rotten food, some of the furniture was randomly moved around as if Sakura had tried to drunkenly rearrange it and there was a lot of broken glass - some of which was from busted alcohol bottles, the rest from picture frames that had been punched or thrown. Sakura reached down to pick up one of these picture frames, flipping it over to reveal a photo of her and Sasuke. She carried the photo with her into the kitchen. Taking one last look at it, she gave a deep sigh before placing it in the overflowing garbage can.
"Fuck," she couldn't help but say aloud. 'What a wake-up call. How did I let it get this bad?' she thought. She had the day off of work, but today was going to be a long day. She rummaged around in her cupboards for gloves and cleaning supplies, tied her hair back, threw on an apron, put on some shoes to protect her feet from the broken glass, and got to work.
By the time she had started cleaning, it had already been so late in the afternoon. The sun had long set, but she was almost finished. The only thing left to do was to wash the mountain of laundry that stood taller than herself. Using multiple large garbage bags to hold all the clothes, she loaded them up into her tiny car and drove off to a 24-hour laundromat.
It had been sometime after midnight by the time she arrived. To her relief, there was only one other car in the parking lot. 'At least it will be quiet,' she thought. Typically, her trips to the laundromat were done during busier hours when there were the overwhelming sounds of loud chatter, screaming children, and dozens of washers and dryers operating simultaneously. She hauled the laundry bags in and began unloading all the clothes into multiple washing machines. Once finished, she realized she had not brought any detergent inside. She quickly went back out to the car to discover that not only had she forgotten the detergent, but her wallet as well when she dug around in her purse.
"Damn it," she whispered sharply, "no wallet, but...there is this." She pulled out a bottle of wine. 'What's one more drink for a while?' she thought. Waking up to the utter disaster that she had created in her apartment should have been enough for her to realize alcohol wasn't doing her any good. But, since this was already in her hands, why not? She had the day off tomorrow as well and besides, it would make waiting for her laundry to finish a little more bearable. All she could find within her center console was enough change to operate the washers and dryers and maybe purchase a single box of detergent from the vending machine inside.
At the vending machine, she inserted the change and pressed the button for the type of detergent she wanted. But, nothing came out. "What the fuck? Hello?" She smacked and shook the machine repeatedly, but this was to no avail. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I have some you can use," a voice behind Sakura said. She gasped and spun around to find an eyebrowless, unfamiliar man standing behind her. She had completely forgotten there was another person in the laundromat and hadn't even heard him creep up on her. His hair was short, shaggy, and a striking bright red color stood out compared to his dark clothing. He bore a similar contrast with his jade-colored eyes, though Sakura couldn't tell if he was wearing eyeliner or hadn't slept in a very long time. "...That machine eats my change every time, so I always bring my own stuff now."
"Uh- yeah," she breathed nervously, "yeah. I knew that. But I didn't realize I left all of my things at home until now."
"Well," the man handed her his bottle of detergent, "use as much as you need."
"T-thanks..." she took the offer. She added some detergent to each load and set the bottle on the table the man was sitting at. "So, I've uh... never seen you around here before. Are you new to Konoha?"
"Nope... I just pass through sometimes," he said, "for work."
"I see," said Sakura, pulling the bottle of wine out of her purse and setting it on the table. She reached back in her purse for a corkscrew.
The man silently watched as Sakura set about removing the cork from the bottle. It was almost impressive how quickly she was able to remove it with a manual corkscrew. "You know this... is a laundromat... right?" he questioned.
"Mmhmm," Sakura nodded, not hesitating to take a generous sip from the bottle. She set it back down. "Are you going to tell on me?"
"No," he replied.
"Good," she said, and then gently nudged the bottle in his direction. "It's rosé."
He eyed the bottle cautiously before looking back at her. "It matches your hair," he said, then accepted the bottle. Sakura smiled softly and brushed a few stray hairs out of her face.
"So... where are you from?" she asked, taking another sip.
"Sunagakure,"
"And what kind of work brings you all the way to this area?"
"Chatty, aren't you?" he asked.
Sakura frowned before downing another sip. "I'm sorry," she sighed, "not usually, especially not with someone I've only just met. I haven't left my house in quite a while now, besides to go to work. I guess it's just nice to talk to somebody who doesn't know about all my problems."
"You came in here after midnight with a mountain of laundry, no detergent to clean it with, and a bottle of wine that you were prepared to open," he stated plainly, "I think it's pretty obvious you've got some problems."
Sakura scowled, but nodded as if to say, 'That's fair.'
"I've never been much of a drinker," she said, "but lately... it's the only thing that's helped me forget." She wrapped her fingers around the neck of the bottle and gently swirled it, watching the tiny whirlpool inside. "Have you ever been in love?"
His lack of eyebrows didn't interfere with his ability to manifest a confused expression. Without a second thought, he said: "No."
"Hm..." she hummed, locking eyes with him. "Perhaps I should consider you lucky. I always thought that it was the most important thing in the world. It can bring so much joy, security, and meaning to one's self... Real love, anyways. Or so, I used to think. I never imagined what the other side of the coin looked like until I was living it."
"Sounds like a waste of time," he said.
Sakura couldn't help but giggle at his response. "Perhaps you're right about that," she said. "Heartbreak can make you do some pretty crazy things... like beat up your best friend and then ignore their calls and texts for several weeks, isolate even though being alone is the reason you feel this way..." her words trailed off for a moment as she took another swig and pushed the bottle in his direction again. "...Waltz into a 24-hour laundromat in the early morning hours of the day and share a bottle of wine with a stranger..."
BUZZ!
The sound of the washing machines going off jerked Sakura from her drunk thoughts.
"Ah, about time," she said. She removed her clothes from the washing machines and placed them in the dryers. "Hopefully I had enough change to dry them completely."
"My stuff is done and I'm going to get going now, but I have some change to spare if you need," he said. He was a few feet away loading his dry clothes into a laundry basket. A single sock fell from his grip and onto the floor. Sakura approached him to pick it up, but just as she bent down, so did he, and their heads collided.
"Ouch!" they both wailed, rubbing their foreheads with their sock-free hands.
"I'm- I'm so sorry," apologized Sakura.
"It's okay, thank you," he said. He looked down at the sock that Sakura was still holding onto.
"Oh- right," she let go of it, almost apologizing again.
He added the sock to the basket and lifted it, ready to head out.
"Um, wait... I... uh..." Sakura fumbled over her words.
"Yes?" he noticed that her face was bright red. "Did you have too much to drink?"
"No- I mean, yes, I've had enough, but..." her heart was racing faster with each word that came out of her mouth. She didn't know why- maybe it was the alcohol, but she didn't want him to leave yet. She reached for his hand. "Don't... don't go yet, please." She had been longing for some type of intimate connection since Sasuke left. She hadn't wanted it to be anybody else except for Sasuke, but at this moment, she was feeling like trying something spontaneous that would help her forget about him. At least just once.
Sensing what she was after, the man leaned down and kissed her. She was quick to wrap her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He gently pushed her up against one of the dryers. This kiss felt so much different from Sasuke's, though certainly not unpleasant. It was vigorous and almost combative, mixed with the sweet taste of the wine they had both been drinking. The feeling of both of their hearts pounding had butterflies dancing in her stomach. He had one hand tangled in her hair and allowed the other to start wondering, lifting her shirt.
"Wait- wait," she gasped and pressed a hand to his chest, "aren't there cameras in here?" They both looked around, spotting cameras in basically every corner.
"Not in the bathroom," he said with a smirk before leaning in to kiss her again. With that, he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around him, and he carried her towards the bathroom. Drunk on a powerful combination of alcohol and dopamine, Sakura had no other thoughts, let alone thoughts about how this night was going to change the trajectory of her entire life.
xxx
Two and a half months. Sakura almost thought she wouldn't make it this far. Since her drunk escapade with the handsome stranger at the laundromat 4 weeks ago, she hadn't had a drop of alcohol and was finally starting to get a grasp on her life again. However, despite things working out she had developed a very suspicious illness during the last few days. One moment she'd feel perfectly fine, the next, she was racing to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth. The smell of her favorite foods made her feel sick, her breasts were unusually sensitive, and her menstrual cycle was a couple of days late. There was a nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her what was wrong, but she told herself that there was no way. Life had already been so cruel to her and things were only just starting to improve.
But she had to know for sure. Leaving work early, she hopped in her car and drove to the nearest store to purchase a pregnancy test. At home, she set the box on her bathroom sink and took a deep breath.
"There's no way," she said aloud, "I just have the flu. Stress can interfere with period cycles. It's just...stress..."
She stared at the box for about 5 whole minutes before finally working up the courage to open it and take the test. Setting it face down on the sink, she backed up against the wall and slid down to the floor, shaking with anxiety and spewing random curse words. Why did she allow herself to do something so risky? She knew better and had always been so careful with Sasuke. Why, the only time she had ever decided to have sex with a stranger, did she not take the proper precautions?
'Idiot,'
She swore she had never waited this long for anything else in her life, yet she hoped time would freeze forever and she wouldn't have to check the results. But alas, the time had come. Still sitting on the floor, she slid over to the sink and reached for the test. Covering the results with one hand, she took a final deep breath and braced herself.
"What the fuck?"
Two very clear, solid lines stared back at her. She was pregnant. She stood up and slammed the test on the sink.
"What... the... fuck?" she said again, quieter this time. 'How?' she asked herself despite knowing very well "how." She stormed out of the bathroom. This had to be a mistake. The test had to be wrong. There was no way she got pregnant by a complete stranger at a fucking laundromat. She threw herself onto her bed and wrapped her arms around one of her pillows, holding on as if it was the only thing keeping her from floating away. She stared at the wall with wide eyes and would remain this way for the rest of the day.
'I didn't even ask his name,' she thought.