Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter…this seems to be an every day chant now doesn't it? Oh well…at least I can claim to pretend I own it…
Warnings: PG-13. (Ooo…its been a while since I've had one of those, eh?) Very Mild Slash. (For those of you who didn't know, slash is pretty stuff between two guys.) OOC. Harry and Draco won't be acting like they were originally scripted. Actually…I don't think there is a single person in this story that is actually in character… School bashing. If you don't like any of that, don't read it. Thanks!
Authors Note: Heehee! I'm here again to bring you…a funny story for once! This is pure humor folks! I wrote this because of the over obsessive spirit week people in my school. I just had to mock them. Lol. It was the only thing I could think to do after getting in trouble for popping the balloons with my trusty 'this school sucks ass' pen. Yay! I'm done rambling for now! The overall point is! READ AND REVIEW!!!
(You wouldn't believe how few reviews I get from any one shot I write. --;;)
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Spirit Week
"AHH!!! The walls are closing in, the walls are closing in!" Harry screamed running down one of the many over decorated hallways of Hogwarts. The first person he ran into happened to be a freckled faced red head.
"NOO! They got you too!" Harry yelled in agony. Not only were the walls covered in yellow, black, blue, gold, silver, and green, but Ron Weasley was dressed in a bright yellow shirt and plaid striped pajama pants. "THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT HAS COME TO AN END!!!"
"No. Its just spirit week," informed Hermione him, suddenly popping out of nowhere. Harry fell on the floor and curled into a fetal position.
"What is it with you and popping out of nowhere?" Ron asked Hermione. "Look what you did to Harry now!"
"I didn't do it!" Hermione argued. "Spirit week did."
Harry was still in the fetal position babbling on to himself. Ron and Hermione stared down at their friend.
"He's got to be possessed," said Hermione.
"Want to leave him?" asked Ron.
"Okay," answered Hermione, "but what should we do?"
Ron shrugged and they left the 'possessed' Harry on the floor. Draco Malfoy, wearing lots of silver and green, caught sight of Harry on the floor and smirked to himself.
"What are you doing Potter?" asked Draco.
"The world is a happy place, the world is a happy place, the world is a happy place," muttered Harry while rocking back and forth, hugging his knees to his chest. His head turned slowly to look at the speaker.
"You're, uh, acting strange today Potter," said Draco stepping back a little.
"Draco!" Harry yelled happily, launching himself at the blonde Slytherin. "Thank God!"
"Potter? What the hell?!" yelped Draco as he pulled at the arms that were latched around his middle.
"You haven't been brought to the dark side!" yelled Harry, clinging tighter to the blonde.
"Of course not. You think I'd want to serve some half-blood?" sneered the Slytherin Seeker, still tugging at the clinging arms.
"No! I'm talking about an evil beyond that of Voldemort!" said Harry, crying tears of joy on Draco's robes. The blonde stopped tugging, and threw his hands in the air, as if to give up. Now he had a sniffly and insane Gryffindor attached to himself.
"And what would that be?" asked Draco, half not wanting to know.
"Spirit week!"
"Spirit?what?"
"Oh its horrible! A whole week of people acting like they're happy to be here! Thank God my Drakey was unaffected by it!"
"Your…? did you just call me Drakey?" asked Draco, looking astonished.
"Yes my beautiful Draco. Yes. You've shown that you are not evil not participating in spirit week."
"Potter, I dress like this every day," Draco said.
Harry seemed to ignore this. "You're going to be my best friend."
"This is going to be a long week," Draco said as he failed to pry Harry off him, again.
--
"I can't believe it! He stole my costume!"
It was Tuesday, day two of Hogwarts evil spirit week, it meant that it was costume day. This only somewhat explained why a girl had run up to Harry and slapped him.
For this all important occasion, she had dyed her hair black and drew a lightning bolt on her forehead with lipstick.
"How dare you steal my costume idea! I'm supposed to be the only Harry Potter!" She screamed at him. "Besides, I look more convincing than you!"
"But, but… I am Harry Potter," Harry defended himself feebly, his hand lightly running over his still stinging cheek.
"Sure you are. But even if you are Harry, then why would a little thing like being him make you seal my costume?"
"Um, I'm not wearing a costume. Spirit week is evil," said Harry.
"It is not! It's a wonderful week in which everyone cheers their school on! It unites us all!" She said tearfully, bottom lip quivering slightly.
"You're a cheerleader, aren't you?" Draco asked, finally sticking up for his new 'friend', and amused smile playing at his lips.
"Yes. What's it to you?" She asked.
"I'm going to make this clear. Go away or I'll be forced to use my Malfoy powers on you."
'Harry Potter' wasted no time in running off screaming. Everyone knew about the Malfoy powers. No one was quite sure what they were, but it was definite that they were bad, real bad.
"Drakey! You saved me! My hero!" Harry said happily hugged him.
Draco sighed. "Potter I'd appreciate it if you'd stop using that ridiculous nickname."
"Okay Draco. So long as you call me Harry," the Gryffindor agreed.
Draco smiled. "Anything to end that horrid nickname, Harry."
--
Harry and Draco stood close together all that day. The complete scariness of spirit week was pretty obvious by that time. A purple Koala bear walked by and a shudder ran through the both of them. How was it possible that a whole school would collectively make an ass out of themselves willingly multiple times a day for a week? How?
"Potter? I think you were right about this spirit-week-thing," Draco said finally in a quiet voice.
"Of course I'm right! This is worse than Voldemort and his lap dog combined!" Harry said nodding to agree with himself.
"Watch it Potter. That lap dog is my father," Draco defended.
"I'm sure he is my Drakey m'dear," Harry said petting Draco's arm placatingly.
"Fine. Harry," Draco rolled his eyes, "Please.Don't.Call.Me.Drakey!"
"Okay Draco. You sexy bitch you. I mean, pretty, no, nice? Friend you?" Harry stuttered attempting to cover his slip of the toungue.
"Are you sure you're alright Harry?" Draco asked moving his arm away from Harry.
"Heh-heh. yeah. Peachy. Let's get to class." A look of hurt flashed across the Gryffindor's face, but Draco didn't see it, because a kneazle walking a krupp waltzed by.
--
"EHHHHH!!!!!? Harry yelled waving his arms and running down the hallway.
Draco was sitting in a corner shivering slightly. It was now Wednesday, in other words, hat and jersey day.
"I never knew there were so many teams in existence! Why? The horror! The horror!" Draco said covering his face with his hands.
Harry quit waving his arms, ran to Draco, and hugged him. "Save me!"
"From what Pott-I mean Harry?"
"That!" Harry said, pointing to a couple holding hands and walking towards him.
"Ahh! What's that?" Draco asked, hugging Harry closer to him.
"Harry? Are you okay?" Hermione asked looking at him strangely.
The couple was decked out in matching Chuddley Cannons attire. In short, scary beyond all reason.
"The dark side stole my friends! Oh the inhumanity!" Harry cried hiding behind Draco.
"Okay Harry, we're just going to leave now," Ron said as he slowly pulled Hermione away from Harry.
"It's so terrible," Harry whispered in Draco's ear. Draco nodded, shivering a little.
"And to think he's supporting such a sorry team, I mean 'Let us cross our fingers and hope for the best'?" Draco added.
--
"OH-MY-GOD! IT'S WEASELY DAY!!!" Draco screamed as he set foot into the great hall that Thursday.
All around him was mismatched clothing, red hair and freckles, the ultimate anti-Malfoy-ism-ness. It was just plain wrong.
"HARRY!" Draco yelled falling into the arms of this week's only friend. "Why? Why is life so cruel? Why?! It used to be considered normal to wear matching clothing. And Oh my God that girls wearing to different shades of maroon!"
Harry knew that there was nothing he could say that would take his friends pain away, so Harry simply patted Draco's sobbing form with a tearful whisper of, "I know."
--
It was Friday, the final day of spirit week, but yet the most horrible. Everyone would wear as much of their house colors as they cold. And later (horror of horrors) there would be a pep assembly.
Harry and Draco strode arm fearlessly into the Great Hall where the assembly was to be held. The hall was filled to the bursting point with school spirit. Mascots, school colors, face painting, tattoos. You name it, it was there.
"Students! May I have you attention?" Dumbledore called. No one was listening.
"LISTEN!!!" Dumbledore screamed. Everyone was suddenly and immediately silent.
"This year's spirit weeks has been so successful, I've decided to make it a yearly tradition."
While the whole of Hogwarts cheered, Harry and Draco missed the statement of doom because they had found their way under the bleachers and were spending that time making out.
The End.
A/N: Yes, I know that sucked. I'm sorry. But it entertained my friends more than I think should have been possible. I'm sorry to give you five pages of crap rather than another update on a story you actually might care about, but yeah. So basically, I'm asking the flames you give me to be as less insulting as possible. Thanks!
Review for me please!