Disclaimer: Advisory: If you dangle a piece of string in front of a disclaimer's face, it will come at you with a hacksaw. Just thought you all would like to know.

A/N: Well, this overnight fic has now evolved into a full-fledged series. Apparently it doesn't want to go quietly into the proverbial fanfiction night. Now we're stuck with. We'll just have to deal...

~ merlyn, heartstar, jebrylla, chacreed, Rupeshwari, Ryoko Subaru, Lizzie4707, MazzaRedd, i forgot my name, , Raistlin Mage, Zelda123 – *sniff, sniff* Oh man, you really know how to make an writer's day. *sniff* That's so nice of you all. *grabs tissue and blows nose rather loudly* I'll never forget it as long as I – Ooh, look! A twinkie! ... *looks up blankly* I'm sorry, what was I saying? ;)

~ TrinityC – What?! You want me to be sleep-deprived? Are you trying to turn me into some kind of zombie? :)

~ Goddess Evie – I had exactly the same conversation with my friends, too! Though that was a couple of years ago. And as much as I wanted Remy to be completely devoted to Rogue and her feminine needs, I couldn't let the guys off that easy! ;)

~ Disturbed Courtney – In case I hadn't noticed? Are you kidding me? Of course I've noticed Street Livin's lack of updated-ness! Everybody's noticed! And everybody's not happy about it! In fact, I'm organizing a protest group right now! ... All right, so it's just me at the moment, but I could get people!

~ ishandahalf – 1) I'm guessing you have issues with Evan and the moo juice. Are you seeking professional help? 'Cause I can recommend somebody. :) 2) Well, a story written by me without any Rogue/Remy goodness is... probably not written by me! One way or another they're gonna find their way in, dammit! Even if I have to squish them through an opening the size of a dot! 3) Hmm... Scott issues too, huh? Seriously, I know somebody. ;)

~ missy42 – You know, I asked my brother what he would do if his girlfriend wanted him to pick up some pads and I am proud to say that he has no problem with it. In his own words, "They're obviously not for me." There's hope for their gender yet... ;) I wonder what the dragons would do if we asked them...

~ Eileen Blazer – Tell the librarian that it's a study on human behavior. ;) Well, it technically is... in a way. ;)

CHAPTER 2
Spring Cleaning Madness
Part I

"Vatever it was, I didn't do it!" Kurt automatically declared as the smoke from his teleportation power dissipated. He quickly scanned the room and noted that everyone was already present.

Professor Xavier hid a smile. "It's all right, Kurt, no one is in trouble here."

"Not today at least," grunted Logan.

Kitty straightened in her seat. "So, like, why are we here?"

"Well, the three of us," the Professor indicated himself, Logan and Ororo, "know that all of you have been complaining about the apparent lack of closet space in your rooms."

"Yeah," Rogue put in. "'Specially me an' Kit-Kat over there. Try sharin' a closet with a teenybopper wannabe."

Kitty stuck her tongue out in her roommate's direction.

"Hey, you two can't complain," Evan interjected. "Your closet is almost three times the size of the rest of ours."

"And then some." Scott squirmed in his seat from the icy glares both girls were shooting in his direction. "Uhhh... you were saying, Professor?"

"Yes, well, we've come up with a solution to this particular problem – "

"Ve're renovating?"

Bobby looked up from where he was freezing the items in the fruit basket. "Cool. Can we use one of those really big wrecking balls?"

"Dude, I don't think ve're trying to level ze entire mansion."

"Then what's the fun in renovating?"

Jean spoke up. "What about extra bathrooms? We could use a few more."

"Oh! There was, like, this cool bathtub I saw in a magazine once. It, like, had a mini waterfall instead of a showerhead. Could we get one of those?"

"Why don' you jus' move th' lake inta th' mansion while yoah at it?" Unlike Scott, Rogue wasn't fazed by Kitty's glaring features.

Ororo raised her hands in supplication. "Children, please..."

"What if we put in ramps, connecting all the rooms? That way I can 'board even when the weather's bad," suggested Evan.

Scott shook his head. "No, we should extend the Danger Room some more. It gets a little crowded sometimes when all of us are in there."

"Way to go, Scott," Bobby muttered. "Give them even more reason to make us train."

"Maybe we could add a sauna."

"Are you kidding me? Do you know vat a sauna does to fur?"

"Well then, like, duh Kurt, don't go in there."

"What about an indoor roller coaster?"

"Man, I was serious about my skateboard-ramp idea."

"You know, bumper cars are always a lot of fun."

"I want an elephant."

"After that, we could add a big top an' a ringmaster, an' start chargin' admission."

A sharp whistle halted their jumbled conversation.

Logan looked around the quieted room. "Good. Now that I've got yer attention... How the hell do you kids go from 'We got a solution ta yer closet problem' ta 'We're installin' a waterfall, a sauna, an' an elephant'?"

"Don' forget my ramp, dude."

Bobby snickered. "How do you install an elephant?"

"With a really big hole and a sledgehammer?" Kurt grinned in return.

"You two, like, must've forgotten about the extra sensitive hearing, huh?"

Both Kurt and Bobby turned to Kitty in confusion.

"Vat are you talking about, Kit– " He caught the snarl of displeasure on Logan's face. Quickly facing the Professor, Kurt said, "So closet solution, ja?"

The Professor once again took control of the meeting. "Yes. We've decided that in order to maximize the available closet space, you all will need to minimize the amount of possessions you have."

Silence fell across the room.

"Uhh... what was that again?"

"We should what?"

"Is he thinking what I think he's thinking?"

"Not if he's thinking what I think you're thinking he's thinking... I think."

"Would it be possible for me to get a translator? For both you and the Professor?"

"No, seriously. What was that?"

"You heard the Professor," Ororo said firmly. "You will all be cleaning out your rooms."

Another silence fell.

Followed by seven pairs of eyes blinking in disbelief.

"Professor..." Scott began slowly. "Have you, by any chance, been possessed by an alien entity bent on world domination through cleanliness and healthy living?"

Rogue whispered loudly, "Is that even possible?"

"Which? The possession or the world domination?" Evan asked.

"Th' first one."

He nodded.

"Really?"

"Jus' ask Jean."

She turned to the redhead. "Well?"

"Yeah, it is." Jean looked at the younger girl. "We think it's happened before, but we aren't really sure."

"Why not?"

"Well, to be honest, my memory's kind of hazy, but I think I remember the Professor talking for the better part of a week with a French accent once. A woman's French accent."

Scott joined in. "That's not all. I caught him wearing a French maid's outfit while speaking with the French accent." He shuddered.

Kurt laid a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "Dude... I don't know vat to say..."

"Thanks, man."

"In my own defense," the Professor interrupted, "that was an isolated incident. I assure you that I am not being possessed by anyone or anything at this particular point in time."

"Yeah, right. If you were being possessed, would you really, like, confess to it?"

Bobby nodded. "I have to agree with her."

"I don' know what you kids are gripin' about," Logan half-growled. "It's not like yer rooms couldn't stand a good shovelin' out."

"Vat are we going to do with all ze stuff we want to get rid of? Have a garage sale?" asked Kurt, somewhat dryly.

Rogue snickered along with her brother. "Yeah, that'll be somethin' people 'round here haven't seen before, big ol' fancy mansion havin' a garage sale."

Ororo stated simply, "We will be donating everything to various charities around Bayville. I'm sure there are a number of orphanages that could make good use of them."

"I think I like the garage sale idea better," Bobby said, frowning. "At least then we could make a little money out of it."

"Robert..."

"Oh, like you guys weren't thinking the same thing."

"Monetary gain is not the issue here," the Professor informed them. "Clearing out your rooms and removing any unnecessary items is. At the same time, we'll be helping others in need." He looked at each teen earnestly. "Now, Logan, Ororo and I have some business to attend to, so we will be gone for most of the day. When we return, we'll expect to see everything you want to be given away in the living room."

Evan snorted. "Good luck, Kurt. With all that junk in your room, you'll be lucky to finish within a month."

"An' no slackin' off either," warned Logan, as Ororo and the Professor left the room ahead of him. "If I come home an' someone's room ain't clean, heads are gonna roll."

Once he was gone, Kitty commented, "Boy, Mr. Logan sure likes being dramatic."

"Do you think zey were serious?" inquired Kurt.

Scott rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Did Logan look like he was joking?"

"They've never made us clean our rooms before," Jean put in. "I wonder what pushed them to do this."

"Probably the smell coming from Bobby's room."

"Shut up, Evan."

"So, how did ya meetin' go?"

The occupants of the room looked up at the sound of the new voice. Remy stood in the doorway of the dining room, casually leaning against the frame.

"How come you weren't, like, forced to attend?"

He shrugged as he made his way across the room. Settling in the vacant seat next to Rogue, he said, "Maybe 'cause I jus' moved here an' don' have dat much junk in de first place." He smiled charmingly at Rogue, who scowled in return.

"You mean they're not makin' you do anythin' t'day? While th' rest o' us have ta work on a Saturday?"

"If you want, chère, I could help you wit' ya room."

"No thanks, swamp rat. Ah know th' kind o' 'help' you like givin'."

"Eww." Kitty made a face. "I, like, so don't want to know what you're talking about."

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Remy. "Neither do I."

"Maybe we should get started," Scott suggested, breaking into their discussion and standing. "We need to be finished by the time they get back."

Reluctantly, the rest of them stood and began filing out of the room.

"What do you think Logan's gonna do if we don't clean up?" Bobby asked Evan as they made their way up the stairs.

"I think 'heads are gonna roll' was a pretty accurate description."

They heard a crash from the now-vacant dining room.

Evan turned to Bobby. "The fruit basket?"

The other teen had the decency to look sheepish. "Yeah."

"Looks like your head is gonna be first, dude."

The madness continues in Part II... ;)

This has absolutely nothing to do with anything but... I JUST GOT HOME FROM WATCHING X2! (It opened two days earlier in my area, you see... :) And how pathetic am I for being all excited at the mere sight of Remy's name on a computer screen. Just his name and I'm happy... Pathetic, I tell you. Just pathetic. You'll have to forgive me if I am really, really giddy at the moment. So giddy in fact, I just had to update this and another old story – both of which, ironically, were only supposed to be one-shots. That's the power of the X-Men for you, making me so sickeningly cheerful that I just had to write something... I'll get to work on the next chapter of Hazard once this little movie-high dies down. I figure that'll be in a month or so... :)