14th Chapter

"Please forget what happened earlier."

I stopped in my tracks when I heard him say those words. I'm not really surprised that he said that. Between the two of us, he's the most affected one since it was his former girlfriend.

He's in agonizing pain and it's tormenting him even before she came back to both auntie and Shinsuke. Now, his pain doubled. I know that despite of wanting to forget about her, he just can't. In that hurting heart of his, within that hate, there's still love for Suzuha.

Gathering my confidence, I ran in front of him and decided to confront him. He stopped in his tracks too.

"Shinsuke. What made you hate that woman so much?"

He glared straight at me, clearly telling me that I am about to tread on thin ice. He didn't say anything and proceeded to walk past me.

I have a hunch that somehow, she's the one that he was pertaining to back then when we were talking about that guy who's in charge of detention. She is the girl that he really cares for that when he describes what happened to her, a new side of him that is unknown to me emerged. A side of him full of negative emotions. Hate. Fury. Disgust. Both for that creep and for that woman.

"Is it because she was broken by that man that you can't see yourself loving her anymore?"

He stopped "Fuu, don't even go there."

I shook my head and stood firm. "No? If so, why? That is not enough reason for you to hate her! If anything, isn't it your job to be beside her?! To help her heal? To help her feel whole?!"

"Why does it matter to you?!"

His voice nearly shook my legs and turn into jelly. The last thing I want before I say my farewells to this world is to anger Shinsuke. However, the situation has changed. Him being angry at me for questioning him is the least of my problems now. I have always thought that Shinsuke and I don't have any barriers or boundaries between us because we treat each other as a family but, I was wrong. Even if what auntie said was true, that we are practically inseparable ever since we've met, Shinsuke has built an impenetrable wall around him that even strengthened after the two of us has created a strong bond.

I want to demolish that barrier. I want him to be honest with me. But, for what reason?

He was right. Why does it matter to me? It made me think for a moment. We were strangers to each other but up until he stole my wallet that day, that changed. Ever since that day his mother had mistakenly made an assumption I am his girlfriend, we've become friends- no, I've become his sister. Always looking out for him, scolding him whenever he resorted to pickpocketing again and taking care of him whenever I had the chance like what an older sibling would do to their younger sibling. It was the same for him, he had assumed the role of being a brother that I never and always wanted to have. We both assumed the roles of being an older sibling to each other unconsciously.

It mattered because I'm both his friend and his family. I don't want my family to have such a painful expression on their face. It's a risk to take but, I just can't leave him alone, in constant pain. It's gonna be painful but, this is my method of how I would discipline my younger sibling and to show how much I care that I am ready to meddle with his affairs!

"Because I'm a member of your family! You said it yourself! I can't just stand and look at you while you're internally tormented by those feelings!"

"Shut up!"

I stomped my feet. "No! I won't! Listen to me, you persistent little brat! Do you know how much it hurt both auntie and me to see you like that?! She's your mother. No matter how hard you try to hide it, she has a hunch that something is bothering you, that something is eating you inside. No matter how hard you conceal it with a smile, she knows it. I know it. Now that that woman is back and has shown her face to you again after all these years, I'm scared of what you'll do to yourself just to cope with that pain."

"F-fuu..."

With all my anger, I didn't realize that tears have already fallen out of my eyes. The strangest thing was, I don't know who am I crying for. Was it because of my words towards Shinsuke or maybe because, in the deepest part of my consciousness, those words were also directed at myself.

That speech was completely useless. I just unconsciously made myself sound like a hypocrite because maybe, I was the one who has an invincible barrier around me instead of him. It was his own life and his own affair. Even if I were indeed his family, it is still wrong of me to force him and to meddle with his life in that manner.

I am nothing but a hypocrite.

I didn't dare to say another word after learning my own mistake. I was wrong. If I am his family, I shouldn't force him to tell me about that issue and just let him make his own decision if he's going to tell me or not. Because, I, myself, know how it feels when someone is forcing themselves into my personal bubble.

"I'm sorry. I went out of line." I said, conceding defeat.

He sighed and patted my head like what a big brother would do to his saddened younger sibling. "You're right. You are my family. If I should've known better, you are my most trusted confidant." A pained but at the same time, a relieved smile formed in his lips. "I should have told you about her sooner since I know in my heart that you are ready to listen to me more than everybody else in this world."

More tears have fallen unlike earlier. Not because of I am elated by what he said, it was because of envy. Envious that he can actually say the words I've always wanted to say to my remaining 'family' like Jin with ease. Sometimes I wonder, did I really leave that deep dark abyss?

"Please don't cry anymore Fuu." He said as he wiped the tears that kept falling on my cheeks.

Shinsuke is far too kind to me. Is that why I'm feeling that hate towards that woman? I hated her because she can see through me. Because she knew what I feel with just a glance and decided that I do not deserve this man's kindness?

My tears slowly stopped and he waited until I could just sniff and let out hiccups. He smiled at me. The smile he would always use to reassure both me and his mother. The smile I've always loved and enjoyed seeing. With that smile of his, he started to tell his story.

They were both in grade school when they met. He was in third grade and she was a sixth grader. Both have become best of friends because of one common thing between them, they are troublemakers and are constant visitors of detention. Both remained friends until they are in Middle school where he decided to tell her his feelings towards her, which she gladly accepted. Despite of her being a troublemaker, there are countless reasons why he loved her.

From being friends to being lovers.

They've become completely inseparable and the difference between their age and their year level in high school never became an obstacle for them. But, everything changed the moment she took a step inside that accursed detention three years ago.

She came out of it with bruises on her body but it was only minor. The real problematic one was the internal wounds that that man has inflicted upon her. She was no longer herself. The one he once loved has never left that room.

The strangest part of that case was that man wasn't put on trial for sexual harassment or anything. The man just went on with his life like how it was every day as if nothing bad happened at all. Before her reappearance today, the last thing that was heard about was that she migrated to the States.

"Why do you think that it only turned into a cold memory?"

Shinsuke looked up to the stars after taking a sip from his canned beer. "I have a hunch. The very reason why my love turned into hate."

I gulped the building saliva in my mouth and sipped some cola that he bought for me earlier as I wait for his revelation. There's that pained look again. He still loves her yet he hates her at the same time.

"It was because she loved it." I heard him crunch the can in his hand. "She didn't regret being touched by his slimy hands. She started to crave for it. I'm guessing that Suzuha didn't stay in America for too long, went back here again to be with him, and hid up until today."

Is he referring that she enjoyed that slimy man's company so much that she was more than ready to turn a blind eye to what he has done to her body? To add more insult to injury is that she flew back all the way from the west because she wanted him to do her more than ever. She sounded worse than the women in the Red Light District.

Wait a minute...

"AH!"

That makes sense! No wonder she seemed so familiar to me! I now know why I started to hate her the moment I found out she has some kind of relationship with Shinsuke. That woman was the same woman I'd seen when Mugen rescued my ass from being towed to detention. No, it's not only that one time. She felt familiar that time too. It was...

"W-what's wrong Fuu? You nearly scared me when you screamed out of the blue like that."

With shock and epiphany evident on my face, I looked at my friend. Those assumptions he said were not just gut feelings of his. They're true. In fact, I can attest to that, twice.

"It's all made sense Shinsuke." He arched an eyebrow, looking more confused than ever. I crouched down and held his hand into mine. "You're not wrong. You were right."

"Tell me Fuu."

I took a deep breath and started rummaging inside my chest of memories. A memory that I've nearly forgotten. Thanks to her, it resurfaced once more when needed.

"I saw her two years ago."

That's right. I was still a freshman at that time and I haven't met Shinsuke at that time.

I was a new transfer to the school so I was unfamiliar with the environment and didn't know my way within the school. I got lost on my way when I accidentally stumbled upon the infamous detention. There was an eerie aura that the room was emitting. I was about to turn my heels and forget that I ever accidentally went near that place when I bumped into a woman. She has a strange look on her face but the real one that caught my attention was her eyes. It's like her eyes were staring down the abyss. We stared at each other for a few minutes when a voice called out to her and she went inside without looking back at me.

That was the first time I heard her name and it was buried within my memories.

"After that two years, she still looked the same."

Silence dawned between the two of us after I told Shinsuke the memory that was buried within the recesses of my mind. That revelation might have shocked him. All that he has guessed is that his former girlfriend just returned to Japan and just hid, nothing else. He didn't expect her to be still meeting with him after that 'faithful' day.

"So that's why you hated her. Why you said that she's broken."

He just nodded at what I said. "Suzuha's beyond repair. My hate for her still outweighs my love. She didn't even do anything that will bring that man to justice instead she..."

I bit my lower lip. I feel sorry for Shinsuke. He had done nothing wrong to deserve all this pain he was feeling right now. He had never hurt her or anything and loved her, giving himself to her yet she betrayed that love in exchange for the pleasure she got from that disgusting human being.

I took his hand and held it again once more. "Shinsuke. I know that this isn't enough to fill the hole that Suzuha-san has left in your heart but please always remember that no matter what happens, auntie and I will always love you and will always be there for you."

He shook his and smiled at me. "Thanks. After you've told me all of that, I've decided that I should move on from her. It's about time I bury the love I've felt for her six feet below the ground."

"If that is your decision, then I will support you wholeheartedly and I'll be with you along the way."

With a resolve like that, I doubt that letting go of his previous feelings, such as love, for Suzuha will take long. I believe in Shinsuke.

There's just one thing that bothers me. If she was here, in Japan, all this time, why did she show up only now? What made her do that? As much as I want to ask my friend with me for an opinion regarding that, I won't. I think Shinsuke had enough of her for today.