Disclaimer: Is it possible for the disclaimer to pass on germs? 'Cause I think it has... to me, unfortunately...

A/N: I've been 'on the verge' of being sick for the past couple of days. Not that any of you care all that much, but I thought I'd share. : ) Anyone else had that feeling where you have a slight fever and the only part of your body that was hot was your nose? What the heck is that?! Not my forehead, not my neck -- where people seem to have an impulse to check after they've placed their hand on my forehead -- but my nose, for crying out loud! As far as I know, I'm not related to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer... ; )

~ sylvester, JADEOBLUE, keebler-elmo, Juuhachigou, prplebunnie, darkwing_duck1a, Taineyah, pepperstar, Ning Ning, Sailor Leo -- Like I said, I'm sick... I would offer you pizza, candy, chocolate or the like, but seeing as how I have "coodies" at the moment I don't really think you'd accept them. Unless you were really brave, with an impeccable immune system...? : )

~ Goddess Evie -- Umm... *pulls at links chained to computer* ... this is not going to be a very pretty sight when I have to go to the bathroom, you know...

~ ishandahalf -- 1) "Washed up celebrities" -- isn't that sad? Infomercials are like the unspoken lands of banishment for stars... 2) When we take over the planet, you can have our evil minions shop for you to fill up your new walk-in closet! After all, what else are they there for? But remember -- no flowers, fluff or ruffles... 3) You didn't know your living room was pink? What did you think it was? 4) I bashed Scott? How did that happen? I like Scott! Albeit, he's really easy to make fun of... but I still like him!

~ Jen1703 -- I know... I wasn't all that happy with my Jean portrayal either. I mean, I love her and Scott -- after Rogue and Gambit, they're my favorite couple -- but I just didn't know what to do with them. Scott's leader qualities are easy to poke fun at, but Jean... she's a little harder to crack. But I'm not giving up on her! By the end of this series I'm gonna make her have some kind of quirk, or so help me... I'll stop writing altogether! (Yeah, as if that was a threat! : )

~ Eileen Blazer -- Just that scene with Scott and Remy moving things into the boathouse is enough to make me believe in katt's theory about the great friendship possibility between those two. I mean, they're opposites and yet they compliment one another, y'know? ... Argh! Damn katt and her infectious theories! : )

~ Disturbed Courtney -- I hope that whatever happened in those "... last few days [you've] endured" is over and done with. : ) And thanks for the kind words. You know I'm blushing my cheeks off since they came from you! ; )

~ Lcsaf -- It is not our place to question what that thing was. It's only our place to run like hell if it comes back from the dead to haunt us! ; )

~ Panther Nesmith -- You think like I do! (What a scary thought, actually... ; ) But I had an idea along those lines... not exactly like it, but close... ; )

~ gambitgirl -- So your reviews didn't actually make it onto the Review Board -- some people may tell you that the site was malfunctioning, but don't believe them. It was the plot bunnies, no question! -- but I still got them through email, which unfortunately for you means that you now have to hear me rant annoyingly! : )

~ Alwaysright -- Where will you pitch your tent now that Hazard is done? ; )

~ Threnody -- I'm sure your insurance will cover any of your doctor bills. Unless it's like my insurance which has such limited coverage on account of my "insanity." (I'm not insane... really I'm not! That term is so relative anyway...)

~ -- Isn't it so nice being a girl? I don't know... maybe I'm just biased, but damn do I like being my gender! ; )

~ Makura Koneko -- *police come with handcuffs* I didn't kill her, I swear! I was set up! It was the bunnies, I tell you! The bunnies!

~ Wishful Thinking -- Isn't that weird? I'm working two ends of the spectrum here -- one story is all romance and angst, and the other is... what the heck is this anyway? Pure insanity? I must be bipolar or something... : )

~ Marie -- You were joking about the changing pants thing, right? 'Cause that alone gave me nightmares... ; )

~ Thanx4reading -- Okay, who made that law, when was it passed, and why wasn't I informed? Sheesh... I should start thinking of making my own laws...

CHAPTER 5
Med Bay Madness

~ Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change. ~

"It's not his fault!"

"Well, then tell me whose fault it is, Kit-Kat," Rogue snapped. "Th' li'l leprechaun from th' Lucky Charms cereal?"

"It was, like, a total accident and you know it!"

"Accident, mah southern butt!" She pointed an accusing finger in Remy's direction. "He broke mah brother!"

"Chère, I didn' -- "

A sharp moan brought their attention to the bed in the Med Bay. "If you don't mind," Kurt all but whimpered, "could you keep ze noise level down? Zere is a cute little fuzzy elf over here in a lot of pain."

Rogue shot another hot glare in Remy and Kitty's direction before venturing to her brother's side. "You all right, Kurt? Anythin' Ah can getcha? 'Sides th' Cajun's head on a platter?"

"Honestly, it wasn't like Remy made Kurt land on his foot wrong." Kitty gingerly settled onto one of the chairs in the room. "You'd think he'd know how to, like, teleport properly by now."

"Oh, so zis is all my fault?"

Kitty threw her hands up in exasperation. "It's nobody's fault! It was an accident!"

"Quit yer yappin', all o' you," Logan ordered as he walked in through the door. "Yer in enough trouble as it is."

Kurt winced as he tried to sit up. "So vat's ze prognosis, 'doctor'?"

"Stop squirmin', Elf, you'll do yerself more damage. We don' think you broke anythin', but jus' ta be sure we're goin' ta wait an' see what yer x-ray shows."

"Shouldn't we, like, call Mr. McCoy?"

"We're not takin' him out o' his conference jus' fer a sprained ankle."

Rogue frowned. "What if it's more than that? What if he needs brain surgery or somethin'?"

"He's already too screwed up f'r dat," Remy muttered under his breath.

"Stop bein' so dramatic, Stripes." He ruffled Kurt's hair and then looked towards the other teens. "The three o' you get out o' here an' let him have some peace an' quiet fer a change."

"What, we're not, like, being loud or anything."

Logan grimaced as his sensitive hearing picked up on her less-than-sensitive pitch.

"It's okay," Kurt interjected. "I don't mind ze company."

"Fine. But no rough-housin' in here. You four caused enough mayhem already."

"Is th' Professor really mad?"

"What do you think? Scorch marks in the kitchen don' come out with spit, y'know." Logan sighed and then shook his head, moving toward the door. "But you know Chuck; he'll fergive you in no time."

After he'd left, Rogue turned to Gambit and hissed, "You didn' have ta use yoah powers, swamp rat."

"What was I gon' do, let ya brother pound me inta bacon?"

"Yes!"

"And don't think I forgot about zat picture, Remy," Kurt added. "Hand it over."

The New Orleans native looked almost sheepish. "I would, mon ami, but I don' have it."

"Vat do you mean you don't have it?"

"I mean I don't have it." He shrugged. "It's more or less one o' dose scorch marks dat Logan was talkin' 'bout."

"What?!" screeched Kitty, shooting up from her chair. "Remy, that was my camera!"

"Don' worry, petite, I'll stea-- er, get you a new one."

"Why am Ah not surprised?" Rogue shook her head in disgust. "Messin' with things you have no business messin' with in th' first place."

"Yeah!"

"Zip it, Kit. Yoah still on mah list."

Kurt tried to adjust into a more comfortable position. "I don't think zis is what Logan meant by giving me some peace and quiet."

Scowling one last time, Rogue turned to survey the room. For the time being she was willing to let their little war come to an end for the sake of her brother. "Where's th' TV? We could at least do somethin' productive while we're down here."

After a quick scan himself, Remy concluded, "Looks like de good doctor doesn't have a TV, chère."

Both Rogue and Kitty stared at him in shock.

"No TV?"

"You're kidding, right? 'Cause if you are, that's, like, so not funny."

Rogue started to fidget from one foot to the other. "Ah... Ah think Ah have ta go upstairs..."

Beside her, Kitty's eyes were shifting back and forth across the room. "Yeah, me too... you know, the rec room's probably free..."

They were almost to the door when Kurt called out, "Get back here, you two. You can do zis. One step at a time, remember? Now sit."

"But, Kurt..." Kitty whined.

"Sit!" As they shot into their respective chairs, Kurt caught the questioning look in Remy's eyes. "Television withdrawal," he explained. "Ze Professor found out one day zat zey were spending almost twenty-four hours straight in front of ze TV. Zey looked like a pair of zombies. He made zem quit cold turkey. Zey've gotten better since zen -- we can leave zem in a room with a television set and not worry zey'll overdo it, but every now and zen..."

"We're fine," Rogue declared, though she was bouncing her leg up and down with the speed of a jackhammer. She looked around the Med Bay in desperation. "Maybe we can ask Logan ta bring down a TV fo' us..."

"No," Kurt said sternly. "No TV. We'll find something else to do."

"Like what, play with Mr. McCoy's chemistry set? We, like, get enough of that in school."

Remy reached into his pocket and brought out a deck of cards. "We could -- "

"No!" the other teens simultaneously shouted.

"Quoi?"

"You cheat, that's what." Rogue snatched the deck away from him. "What about music?"

Kitty made a face. "No stereo."

"Food?" asked Kurt hopefully.

"Ah'm too tired ta go all th' way up ta th' kitchen."

"What about dose?" Remy pointed to a stack of magazines on the far counter.

"Well, will wonders never cease. Ah didn' even know you could read, swamp rat."

"Dat's cold, chère, real cold." Moving over to the pile, he quickly thumbed through them. A smirk suddenly made its way onto his face.

"Vat did you find?"

Remy turned to face them. "You'll never guess."

"A subscription ta We Know Science?"

"Non."

"Hair loss programs for blue furry doctors?" offered Kitty.

"Try again."

"Playboy?"

Rogue swatted her brother on the leg.

"Hey!" he cried out, reaching to protect his right ankle. "Injured mutant cheesecake over here! Vhere's your sisterly concern?"

"It got pushed out th' window. There ain't enough space fo' it since you an' th' Cajun are thinkin' with yoah second brains."

Before the other male in the room could protest his innocence, Kitty jumped in. "So, like, what is it already?"

Remy pulled out the periodical from the middle of the stack and showed it to them.

"Highlights?" Rogue asked in disbelief. "Mr. McCoy reads Highlights?"

"Not only dat, chèrie, but M'sieu McCoy has a subscription t' Highlights." He pointed to the address label on the front cover.

"Ah don' believe it."

Kurt looked at them in question. "I don't get it."

"It's a children's magazine, Kurt," Kitty informed him, walking over to Remy and taking the issue from his hands. Quickly scanning the pages, she continued. "The 'educational fun' kind. I, like, used to read them when I was a kid."

"Now there's a shocker," Rogue put in dryly.

"Oh come on, Rogue. Are you telling me you've never picked up a copy before in your life?"

The young southerner yielded with a small scowl. "Maybe once or twice," she muttered. "When anothah kid put a gun ta mah head."

Kitty returned to her seat at Kurt's bedside, bringing the magazine with her. "This was my favorite part." After checking the table of contents, she flipped open to the appropriate page.

"Hidden Pictures?" Kurt asked. He stared down at the image of a young girl and her mother gardening in a fenced-off yard. "Zey didn't do a very good job," he commented. "Zat picture's in plain sight. It takes up ze whole page, even."

Remy snickered as he pulled up a chair alongside Kitty's.

"No, you big elf. They, like, draw out-of-place objects into the picture and you're supposed to find them. Here, this is what we have to find." She pointed to the opposite page where a list of drawings was included. "That's how each item looks like in the bigger picture," she explained. She turned to her roommate, who hadn't moved from her spot a few feet away. "Aren't you going to join, Rogue?"

"This is really how we're goin' ta spend th' rest o' th' night?" she demanded, reluctantly coming closer. "Readin' kiddie magazines?"

"You ask me, chère, it's better dan bein' upstairs an' gettin' it from de Prof."

"All right," she conceded. "Scoot a li'l, Kurt." She waited for her brother to roll carefully onto his right side, facing Kitty and Remy, before taking a seat on the bed behind him. "We'll prob'ly be done with this in five minutes anyway."

"I found ze spoon!" Kurt shouted in triumph, pointing to the center of the page. "Ze long end is a part of ze fence and zen ze other end is part of zis butterfly's wing."

Kitty smiled at his enthusiasm. "See, I knew you would like this."

Leaning forward, Remy tapped his finger against the paper. "Lollipop," he said, outlining the image hidden in the vines and berries.

"Ah can't believe yoah participatin' in this, Cajun," Rogue stated from over Kurt's shoulder.

Remy shrugged. "What c'n I say? Could never resist a challenge."

"Which this clearly is." Sarcasm dripped from her voice.

Kitty glanced in her direction. "Okay, smarty pants. Let's, like, see if you can find the slice of pizza."

"No problem." Rogue pulled an extra pillow from the bed, set it against Kurt's arm, and leaned into the soft cushion. Her eyes roamed over the page, trying to find her target.

After a short time, Kurt exclaimed, "There it is! Between the tree branches!"

"Kurt! That was mine!"

"I'm sorry, but it was food. You know how I am with food."

Kitty ended the argument with a wave of her hand. "There's the domino piece."

"Where?" inquired Remy.

"In that building's window. The one with the three black dots."

"Are you sure? Maybe de people dat live in dat apartment jus' had a food fight an' some o' it got stuck on de glass. Or maybe de baby o' de house was havin' a li'l fun wit' his diaper an' -- "

"Gross! Don't even think of finishing that sentence!"

"Should we even ask what you guys are up to?" a voice called from the doorway.

The occupants of the room turned to see Evan and Bobby enter the Med Bay.

Kitty, after glaring at Gambit, held up the magazine. "We're working on a Hidden Picture."

"Hey, I remember those," Bobby said, coming around the bed to stand over her chair. "There's the spoon."

"We already got de spoon, homme."

"Well, how come it isn't marked? You guys know how to do this or what?" He moved to search through the drawers, and came back with a pencil. When he tried to encircle the drawing of the spoon, Kitty slapped his hand away.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I'm plotting to take over the world with a few strokes of this pencil -- what does it look like I'm doing? I'm marking the spoon so we know we found it already."

"You can't do that! It's, like, Mr. McCoy's book."

Evan started. "That's Mr. McCoy's?"

"Ah know what yoah thinkin', an' yoah right -- hell is freezin' ovah," Rogue informed him.

Kitty snatched the pencil away from Bobby. "We can mark the list on the other page, and then erase them when we're done."

"Who would've thought zat Kitty was such a neat-freak?"

"Or obsessive-compulsive," Remy put in. "Dat's a disorder, isn't it? Dey throw people in de looney bin f'r dat."

"They, like, do not."

"Denial... dat's another symptom. Watch yaself, petite."

"You're so full of crap, Remy."

Evan pointed to the bottom of the page. "Dude, there's the pushpin, posing as a flower pot."

"Are you sure that ain't a top hat?"

"There isn't a top hat on the list, Rogue."

"Well, it looks like a top hat. An' if that's a pushpin then where's th' pointy end? Ah don' see it."

"It's shaded, see?" Kitty explained. "They made it look like the dirt, but that plant's branches form its shape."

Rogue's eyebrows knitted together. "Are you sure this book's fo' kids? Sounds awfully complicated ta be fo' kids."

"You're just mad because you haven't found anything yet."

"Well, Ah would've found that slice o' pizza if you hadn't stolen it from me!"

Bobby cut in. "Children, please. Act your age."

"Oh, that's rich, Drake, comin' from you," snarled Rogue, turning back to the list. "What's next?"

"Hoe."

Both Remy and Kurt snapped to attention.

"Vat did you say?!" Despite his injury, Kurt was attempting to get up from the bed.

Remy, on the other hand, was in Bobby's face in no time. "You wan' repeat dat, mon ami?" Three cards slipped into his hand.

"What?" Bobby asked bewildered, his eyes darting between his two angry teammates. "What'd I do? What'd I do?"

"I think you just called Rogue a hoe, man."

"I did not!" he declared, though his two aggressors didn't look the least bit appeased. "She asked what the next thing was. There's a hoe on the list, I swear!"

"He's, like, telling the truth, you guys." Kitty lifted the magazine off the bed and directed their attention to it. "See?"

Rogue laid a hand on Kurt's shoulder and forced him back onto the mattress. "Ease up, Elf. Remember what Logan said. Don' wanna hurt yoahself more. 'Sides, Ice-Pick may be dense but Ah don' think even he's that dumb." Though her brother relaxed his tense stance, she noticed that Remy hadn't at all. "Down, Cajun. Th' Professor won't be so fo'givin' if we killed him, much as we'd like to."

Remy relented at her words. But not before glaring threateningly at Bobby. "I'm watchin' you, Snow-Cone."

The door to the Med Bay swished open, and a new voice greeted them. "Well, I think we arrived just in time."

Six sets of eyes turned at the sound and saw both Jean and Scott standing in the doorway. Several moments passed and no one said a word.

"Guys?" Jean called, slightly wary of their curious stares. "Are you okay? We aren't pod people, if that's what you're thinking."

Kitty was the first to speak up. "Umm, Jean... your blouse is, like, inside out."

The older girl looked down at her shirt and almost blushed as bright as her hair. "Uh, excuse me a second." She hurriedly made her way into the nearby bathroom.

Scott, for his part, was left standing with his friends' knowing glances. "It's not what you think," he offered immediately.

The corners of Remy's mouth rose into a snicker. "What exactly would we have been t'inkin', Scottie?"

Leaning in closer to Rogue, Kitty whispered, "Since when have those two been so hot and heavy?"

The southerner shrugged. "Ah don' know. Since they officially got t'gether?"

"Yeah, but they've never been the kind of couple that, like, fools around, you know."

"Dammit, Kit-Kat! What did Ah tell you about puttin' images like that in mah brain? Now Ah'm gonna have ta pour acid down mah ear jus' ta wash that thought out!"

Scott cleared his throat. Hoping to take all the attention off of himself and Jean, he asked, "What were you guys doing before we came?"

Another snicker from Remy.

"What is your problem, Gambit?"

Remy held up his hands in defense. "Hey, mon ami, I'm not de one throwin' out de sexual references."

"I didn't -- " Scott's back stiffened, realizing how his question had been taken. "That's not what I meant."

"'Course it ain't." Another maddening smirk.

"I meant arrived."

"Arrived... came... Gotcha."

"Have all the spices you've been eating turned your brain completely into gumbo?"

"No, Scott, Ah think he was born like that."

"Hey, I found the hoe," Evan interrupted, pointing to the top portion of the drawing. "Six down, nine to go."

Leaning over Rogue, Scott caught sight of the magazine. "Aren't you guys just a little too old for that?"

"Too old for what?" asked Jean, stepping out of the bathroom with her clothes properly adjusted.

"Highlights."

Jean smiled. "My sister and I used to read that when we were little." Positioning herself next to Scott, she stated, "There's the ring, bell, needle and candle." A chorus of grumbling erupted from across the bed. "What?"

"You just took out four items in one hit," Bobby complained. "That's not fair."

"Sorry. Can I help it if telepaths are observant people?" She leaned in more to get a better look at the page.

"Hey, hey. It's gettin' jus' a li'l bit crowded 'round here," Rogue complained, moving closer to Kurt's headboard and away from Scott and Jean, who were trying to study the open page.

"Homme, get ya shoulder out o' my face," Remy said to Evan.

"Tilt the book this way, man. I can't see."

"If you do that then we won't be able to see."

"Lay it flat against the bed so the light doesn't glare off it like that."

"No, try about two degrees to the north..."

"Do I look like I have a compass on me? I don't even know which way north is, much less how many degrees to go in that direction!"

"I said, get ya shoulder out o' my face!"

"Dudes, make up your minds! My arm's getting tired from holding it like zis!"

"Jean, could you...?"

Telekinetically taking hold of the issue, Jean let it hover a few inches above Kurt's feet where everyone would have a fairly good angle.

"Could you float some food over from ze kitchen while you're at it?" Kurt requested hopefully.

"Where the heck is that damn ant? I can't find it anywhere!"

"Maybe they forgot it. Maybe they put it on the list but then forgot to include it in the final picture."

"Can they do that?"

Evan shrugged at Bobby. "Hey, anything's possible, man."

"No, it's in here. They, like, never put stuff on the list that aren't in the drawing."

"How can you be so sure, Kitty? Maybe they goofed this time."

"It's in here somewhere," Jean assured them. "We just have to look a little."

"I'm telling you, dudes, they forgot -- "

"Found it!" Kitty exclaimed triumphantly. "It's in the vines! I, like, told you they wouldn't forget!"

"Yeah, you're a regular teen genius," Bobby said dryly. "Four more to go."

"Pencil," Scott said.

"Bobby has it."

"No, I got the pencil."

"Dude, Kitty already told you -- Bobby has it."

"No! I found the pencil."

"Mon ami, why would you have t'go an' find another pencil when we've got one already? Jus' use de one Bobby has."

Scott glared at them in frustration. With strained patience, he bit out, "There is a pencil on the list. I. Found. It."

"Well geez, Scott, why didn't you just say so?" Jean telekinetically plucked the actual pencil from Bobby's grip and used it to mark its two-dimensional counterpart on their list.

Exasperated, Scott threw up his hands.

"Man, you'd think he'd be a little more relaxed after getting some action from his girlfriend," Bobby whispered to Evan. Three seconds later, he felt the pain of a rolled-up magazine hitting him upside the head. "Hey! How the heck did you hear that?"

"Whispering is supposed to be done softly, Bobby Drake," explained Jean, returning the periodical back to its place over Kurt's bed. "You might want to try it like that from now on. You'll probably live longer."

Bobby was about to open his mouth to retort when a hand on his arm silenced him.

"Not dat I'm fond o' you or not'in', homme, but if you value ya life -- don't. Redheads have de worst tempers." He tilted his head discreetly in Jean's direction. "Dis one's got mutant powers t'boot. Be smart an' back away while you still have de right body parts t'have children."

"What, so we just back down 'cause they're girls?"

"Oui. An' life's a lot sweeter 'cause o' it."

"But we're guys! We're got our pride."

"Yeah, but that doesn't always mean much, man."

Bobby looked surprised. "You too, Evan?"

"Hey, dude, I know better than getting on my mom's or Auntie O's bad side. I like being able to breathe, you know."

"You don' have t'take our word f'r it, mon ami. You wan' test ya footin' out, den you go right ahead. But don' say we didn' warn you."

Rogue, finally noticing the small impromptu meeting the trio was quietly engrossed in, asked, "What're you boys all hush-hush about ovah there?"

Remy raised his eyebrow at Bobby, as if to challenge him into trying his newly found machismo out on Rogue.

"Umm..." the younger boy mumbled, looking between the three females in the room. What was stronger, his urge to stand up and be a man like his father had taught him or his more basic sense of survival? Shaking his head, he slowly breathed, "... nothing."

"C'mon, you guys, get serious already! We, like, only have three more to go."

"Yeah, this kind o' stuff needs th' serious, full-attention, don'-even-blink-fo'-a-second kind o' concentration," Rogue quipped, resting her cheek onto her palm. Suddenly she perked up and pointed excitedly. "Ah found th' hummingbird!"

Looking over his shoulder, Kurt told her, "Talk about doing a one-eighty, liebling."

"Hush up an' be happy fo' me, Elf." She grinned. "Ah finally found somethin' on that stupid game."

Scott looked over the remaining items on their list. "So that leaves the cherries and the pennant."

"Dude, what's a pennant?"

"It's like a flag."

"So why can't they just say flag?"

"'Cause it isn't a flag, Evan."

"But Scott just said -- "

"It's like a flag, but isn't."

"Well gee, when you put it like that then I understand perfectly!"

"Here, look at the picture," instructed Kitty. "See how the pennant kind of tapers at the end? And how its length is longer than its width? That's what makes it different from a flag."

A collective "ahh" rang throughout the Med Bay.

"Well, what d'ya know," commented Rogue, "you do learn somethin' from these things."

Kitty smiled. "Glad to see that I, like, converted you from the Dark Side."

"Ah wouldn't be too sure o' that, Kit-Kat. It's not like Ah'm gonna get a subscription or nothin'."

"'Course not, chère. You could always borrow M'sieu McCoy's copy." After Remy dodged a particularly lethal glare sent in his direction, he whispered to Bobby, "See what I mean, homme? Dat dere look's gonna cost me at least half a day."

"Half a day?"

"Half a day o' de silent treatment, an' anyt'in' else her beautifully twisted mind c'n come up wit'."

"Then why'd you...?"

"T'prove a point, Drake. Don' go messin' wit' nature. It's been dis way f'r thousands o' years. Let it be."

Bobby nodded thoughtfully, comprehension finally seeping into his brain.

"Dude, I'm beginning to think zat Evan was right." Kurt tilted his head to the side, trying to look at the drawing from another angle. "Maybe zey forgot to include ze pennant and ze cherries. I vote we give up. Turn to ze answers page."

Kitty glanced in his direction. "There is no answers page."

"Zen I say we give up. Thirteen out of fifteen isn't bad."

"C'mon, we're X-Men; we just don't give up. We don't know how to quit!"

"Uh-oh. Scottie's slippin' inta Fearless-Leader mode. He's givin' us th' 'We're X-Men' speech already."

"I didn't know we needed our powers and skills as X-Men to solve something like this," Jean teased, smiling saccharinely at Scott. "Maybe we should stop and devise a proper battle plan before going any further."

"Or we could stop acting like babies and finish what we started." Scott gestured to the magazine. "Two items left. Between the eight of us that shouldn't take long."

Evan crossed his arms over his chest, staring at him questioningly. "It shouldn't? Dude, we've been at this for almost a half hour."

"Quit yapping and start looking," ordered Scott.

Remy grinned mischievously. "How 'bout we make dis a li'l interestin', mes braves? De four o' us," he indicated Bobby, Evan, Kitty and himself, who were all sitting on one side of the bed, "versus de four o' you. Losers take whatever punishment de adults dish out f'r what we did earlier."

"Hey, no way, man!" protested Evan. "That was your mess, not ours!"

"Relax, Daniels, we ain't gonna lose."

Rogue scoffed. "Pretty cocky there, Cajun, considerin' who you got on yoah team -- a skater boy, a smarty kat and an ice pick. Doesn't seem like much o' a challenge ta me."

Narrowing his eyes at her words, Evan hissed, "Ooh, sister, you are going down!"

"Bring it on, Porcupine!" Rogue was all but climbing over her brother in her attempt to out-stare her teammate.

"Okay, okay. Let's do this fairly." Scott reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter. "Call it."

"Heads," Remy said.

Deftly catching the coin in his fist, Scott flipped it onto the back of his left hand. "Heads it is."

Evan snorted. "We haven't even started yet and you're already losing, Rogue."

Turning to Remy, Bobby asked, "What happened to letting the girls win?"

"Minor lapse in judgment. He'll regret it when she jams one o' his spikes inta a place where it has no right t'be."

"You mean...?"

Remy nodded.

"Ouch."

"So what's your team going for?" inquired Scott.

Kitty's response was immediate. "The cherries."

"What? Girl, are you sure? Why the cherries?"

"Because, Evan, there are only so many places they could hide two small circular objects, right? We'll only be looking in the vines, which isn't even a fourth of the page!"

"All right, ready... set... Bobby, what are you doing?"

Bobby uncurled himself from his crouching position on the floor. "Oh sorry, Jean. For a second there I thought we were making like the Olympics and doing the gunshot-start thing."

"Real thin ice, mon ami -- real thin. Ya gon' be joinin' Evan in no time."

"Ready? And... Go!"

Eight sets of eyes glued themselves onto the page, barely taking a second to blink.

"Where the heck are those damn cherries?"

"Okay, team, look for the straight edge of the pennant first. That's the more obvious piece and it'll lead us to the rest of it."

"Why'm Ah not surprised that Scott's got a strategy?"

"Liebling, Scott has a strategy when he goes to ze bathroom. Why wouldn't he have one for zis?"

"Is that it? Right there, those two circles?"

"No, Evan, that's the end of the lollipop that Remy found earlier."

"Are you sure it can't overlap with another picture?"

"No."

"No, that can't happen -- or no, you're not sure?

Kitty looked at him confused. "What?"

"I say Evan's right. Those are our cherries. We won! We won!"

"Are you kidding me?" Jean exclaimed. "That's not even the same size, Bobby. And where's the second circle?"

Taking the pencil in his hand, Bobby made his own addition to the page. "There's your second circle! We won! We won!"

"You'll win mah fist in yoah face if you don' get outta th' way, you walkin' case o' frostbite." Rogue pointed to the top half of the drawing. "Is that ours?"

"No, zat's a square. We're looking for a wavy, triangular flag."

"Well, if we stare at it long enough it'll turn inta a wavy, triangular flag!" Throwing up her hands, Rogue cried, "This is stupid! We're a bunch o' grown people pullin' our hair out 'cause we can't find th' last pieces in a kiddie game?!"

"Does dat mean ya team forfeits, chère?"

"Of course not," Scott answered for her, catching Rogue's attention. "Focus," he ordered.

"Focus? Focus?! We ain't savin' th' world here, you know! We're killin' time on a Saturday night, hidin' out from th' adults 'cause o' what Kit-Kat an' th' Cajun ovah there started!"

"I can't believe you're, like, going back to that!"

"What, did you think Ah was gonna let it go? Yoah lucky yoah partner in crime charged th' camera inta ashes 'cause Ah would've skinned you alive otherwise!"

"You're impossible! I didn't see you doing anything to try and get that rat out of -- "

"Hey! What's goin' on in here?" Logan demanded gruffly, stepping into the room. "Thought I told you ta leave the Elf alone. Why all o' sudden yer havin' a team convention that could wake the dead?"

"We were just trying to solve this," explained Jean, levitating the periodical over to the older man. "There are two items left and we didn't want to give up until we found them."

Logan snorted. "Is that all?" Ten seconds later, he yanked the pencil out of Bobby's hands, making two quick, clean circles. He flipped the magazine over to show them. "Cherries. Pennant. Now, quit makin' a ruckus before I really get mad." Without another word, he exited the room.

Stunned into silence, the teens could only stare down at the circles he had made. Sure enough, he'd found the last two items on their list with all the effort it took him to blink. For several minutes no one spoke.

Eventually, Jean ventured cautiously, "I have a Where's Waldo? book that my cousin sent me as a gag gift last Christmas. Any takers?"

She was met with seven bewildered stares, before Rogue shrugged and said, "Okay."

- oOo -

"So what were they up to?" inquired Ororo, as Logan made his way back into the living room.

Taking a swig from his beer, he replied, "They were tryin' ta figure out the Hidden Picture in Hank's Highlights."

The Professor raised an eyebrow while sipping his tea. "And?"

"Was a lot easier findin' that stuff this time around than it was when you, Hank an' I were lookin' fer them."

----

* Sad to say, this is actually a semi-true story. My mom, a former kindergarten teacher, got her hands on some old issues of Highlights, and for some reason felt the need to read through them completely. She got my dad into it and then she eventually sucked me into it as well -- though I have no idea how. (My mother's a sneaky wench... ; ) I swear, it was utterly stupid! Instead of concentrating on watching my beloved TV programs one evening, she and I were sitting there, straining our not-so-much-20/20 vision, trying to find those damn hidden pictures! It was so pathetic! And I was reacting exactly like Evan was -- "Maybe they forgot to put it in... It could happen, you know." (Which I later discovered was also my father's reaction... I now have confirmation that I was not adopted. : ) And so, in the midst of this incredibly idiotic night of beating my brain into the ground because my mother and I couldn't find the damn pennant, I thought, "This is definitely Madness material." And thus, the chapter was born. (Hey, I never said I was proud of that moment. Logic kind of flies out the window when you're attempting to salvage your pride and avoid getting done in by a children's magazine... ; )