Disclaimer: Have you ever seen a disclaimer dance? Trust me, it's not a pretty sight. Excuse me while I go and gouge my eyes out...

A/N: Thanks to everyone who offered their 'Get Well' wishes in my time of nose-burning need! : )

~ Makura Koneko, Tsukinoko, Taineyah, Flamingo, Angel of Darkness, Chaotic Boredom, Mag Carter, Kiki Cabou - The Fanfiction Mafia is running a little low on funds this month. Therefore, we're only raffling off one company plane today. I know... it's unfair, but we all must make our share of sacrifices...

~ ishandahalf - 1) Your nose probably fell asleep because you didn't set its alarm clock properly. No doubt it keep hitting the snooze button. 2) Taunting the Lucky Charms kid in your school... tsk tsk... How cruel... What'd he say? ; ) 3) Hey, don't knock the complicated process that is going-to-the-bathroom. There are perils abound, you know - the crocodiles in the sewers that can come out of the toilet when you least expect it... Evil, pink ooze seeping out of the bathtub faucet to come and suffocate you while your back is turned... I'm telling you, it's not safe in there. 4) Keep an eye out, you'll see something familiar, I'm sure... : )

~ Kanshisha Tenshi - Oh my gosh, I can't believe you noticed that 6 and 9! Even I didn't catch that. It was completely unconscious! (Which gives you an idea how naughty my mind is. ; ) Honestly, I was just keeping track of how many items they'd found, and how many were still left. I was using an actual Highlights issue for reference, you see. But damn are you sharp for having caught that! ; )

~ Jen1703 - You know it's funny. Just knowing that at least one Scott/Jean fan is reading makes me want to write them well for you. Albeit, I'm still trying to get them down properly. : )

~ Leina - As a diehard Rogue/Remy fanatic myself, you can be sure that stuff with them will pop up sooner or later!

~ Disturbed Courtney - Ooh, you got in some brother-annoying time while innocently not meaning to! How incredibly sly and genius-like of you! I personally stay in the room doing whatever I can until my brother admits he's getting annoyed. I then make my exit with a crisp and emphatic "Thank you! That's all I wanted to hear." ; )

~ Panther Nesmith - Ooh, those magic picture books are straight from Hades! It's a rare thing for me to see any kind of image in them.

~ Eileen Blazer - I used to be a Highlights kid, too. I didn't have a subscription, but I'd read them in the library. They were a lot of fun, but I'd always miss a few things on the Hidden Pictures. And I was just too damn stubborn to give up on them, resulting in my staring at the page for hours on end! ; )

~ ladyoftherings - Ahh, X2... Right after I got out of the theater, I wanted them to get to work on X3! : )

~ Carla - Thanks for the two reviews! I hope you dealt with that spider like Scott did with the rat! ... Oh wait, you do have the benefit of optic blasts, don't you? : )

~ Ning Ning - Wow... You are brave. Are you sure you want to print out this story? I mean, then the Madness would spread. Is the world ready for that yet?

~ Wishful Thinking - I think we all went insane a long, long time ago, my friend! : )

~ Thanx4reading - "Screw this up its annoying nostril"? Ouch... that's gotta hurt! ; ) ... Ooh! Spontaneous public insanity outburst, you say? That's like the ultimate confirmation of the insane! Congratulations! ; )

~ Marie - Hmm... Note to self: Madness induces severe instances of procrastination... Fascinating... ; ) You have a spinal injury? Were you reading this fic while tightrope walking, bungee jumping or cliff hanging? 'Cause that's just asking for trouble. Maybe we should think about attaching one of those hazardous-to-your-health warnings... Anyway, I hope you get better! : )

~ Alwaysright - Remy leaving town? That sounds familiar... Where did I read that...? ; ) ... What exactly do you have in your tent that you feel the need to drag it everywhere? *pokes head into entrance and gawks at satellite TV, state-of-the-art entertainment unit and high-tech computer system with broadband Internet connection* Damn! No wonder you never leave here! : )

CHAPTER 6
Movie Madness
Part I

"Man, if they're not here in two seconds, I'm gonna spike their carcasses to the wall!" Evan bit out, tapping his foot impatiently on the carpet.

Kitty looked up from where she was sitting on an armchair. "I still don't see why we can't, like, start without them and then just rewind or something."

Scott sighed. They'd been having the same debate for the better part of the past hour. "I thought the whole purpose of this 'Movie Day' was to spend it together?"

"Forget 'together,' dude! I just got out of ze furry doctor's fortress of solitude! We can do 'together' once zey get back."

Rogue snorted. "Which will prob'ly be three days from never," she informed her brother, shifting in her spot on the carpet. "Y'all sent Remy an' Bobby on th' munchie run... you seriously expectin' them ta come back at all? They prob'ly got lost in th' Rockies or somethin'."

"Rogue, the Rocky Mountains are clear across the country."

"Exactly mah point, Jean." She returned to her task of flipping through their potential movie selection. "'Sides y'all entrusted them with money. How smart was it ta give money ta a thief?"

"Girl, they wouldn't do that to us... would they?"

Rogue favored Evan with a shrug.

"Look they haven't even been gone that long," Scott reasoned, consulting his watch. "Maybe they got stuck in traffic or something."

Rolling her eyes, Rogue commented dryly, "Right... Stuck in traffic... in Bayville... on a Sunday..."

"Why don't we decide which movies we'll be watching?" proposed Jean, cutting into the conversation. "That way we can start as soon as they get home."

Kurt brightened at the suggestion. "Great idea!" He turned to Rogue and asked, "Vat have you got so far?"

"Well, Ah tried ta pick out a li'l somethin' fo' ev'ryone..." She started picking up the cases one by one, readying them for display. "Titanic, My Best Friend's Wedding, When Harry Met Sally, Pretty Woman..." At those choices, both Kitty's and Jean's faces lit up, while all three guys groaned loudly. "... which we won't be seein' since Ah got control ovah what we watch, an' Ah'm not in th' mood fo' them right now..."

"Hey, like, who let you have control?"

"Ah did," Rogue stated simply, as if that was all that needed to be said. "So that leaves us with Nightmare Before Christmas, the Lethal Weapon series, Top Gun - "

"Ooh, great aerial fight scenes on that one, man."

" - Braveheart - "

"I don't like watching movies with funny accents."

"Kurt, you have a German accent."

"And your point is...?"

" - Forrest Gump - "

"Do you know how long that movie is?!"

"Yeah! Last time I watched that, I had to hold off going to the bathroom for half of the movie - a whole hour and a half! Do you know what that does to your bladder?!"

" - Grease - "

"Classic, musical fun."

"Betcha ten bucks, Kurt and Evan will be up in their seats singing and dancing with that one."

"Ve vill not!" Kurt cried indignantly "... not until ze second or third song..."

" - Speed - "

"Keanu Reeves!" both Jean and Kitty squealed.

" - Almost Famous - "

"Kate Hudson!"

Kitty looked disgusted. "You three are pathetic."

"So says the boy-toy, drool freak from three seconds ago."

" - Aliens - "

"Just zat one? Vat about ze other three installments?"

"Dude, everyone knows the second one is the best."

" - Independence Day - "

"You know, Bill Pullman is really cute in that one."

"Forget Pullman, my man Will kicks some serious alien ass!"

" - True Lies, th' Indiana Jones trilogy - "

"Action, comedy and romance... really, what else is there in life?

" - Star Wars - "

"Krrrr... Luke, I am your father."

"An' o' course..." Rogue lowered her voice to a reverent whisper. "... The Lords of the Rings."

"Ooooohhh." Both Kurt and Evan bowed down in worship before the upheld casing.

Jean began counting off mentally. "That's twenty-four movies, you guys."

"I know!" Kitty agreed. "We're, like, losing our touch."

Scott stared at her in shock. "You all realize that there's only twenty-four hours in a day, and at an average of two hours per movie..."

Kurt nodded. "You're right, Scott. Ve better call Remy on his cell and tell zem to get more food." He quickly teleported to the nearest phone.

"No, seriously. There is no way we can - "

" - go without watching While You Were Sleeping. Rogue! How could you, like, forget that one? You love Sandra Bullock."

"Oh, right. Then that makes th' count twenty-five." She glanced around the rec room. "Ah think we should bring down our sleepin' bags an' pillows an' stuff. We're gonna be here a while."

"Hey, wait a minute," Jean said, directing her attention to Kitty and Rogue. "Aren't you two banned from watching too much TV?"

"Yeah - TV... These are DVDs, Jeannie. That's a whole two letters diff'rence."

"What kind of logic is that?!"

"Th' kind that gets me an' Kit-Kat inta Movie Day."

"Right, Remy..." they heard Kurt say into the phone. "Maybe twice as much food... Twenty-four movies..."

"Twenty-five!" Evan called helpfully.

"Make zat twenty-five... Yeah, zat's vat Kitty said... not even half of vat ve did ze last time..."

"Kurt!" Scott admonished, twisting around to look over the back of the sofa. "You're not making them buy out the entire store, are you?"

The young German put his hand over the receiver and answered, "Of course not... only ze junk food section."

Scott shot out of his seat and stalked over to Kurt's side. "Give me that phone. Hello? Remy? ... Hello?" He was met with complete silence. "Either you've already hung up or you're purposely ignoring me!" He heard a familiar chuckle in his ear.

"What gave me away, homme?"

"I could hear you toying with me over the phone."

"I beg ya pardon, mon ami!" Remy cried out in disgust. "What kind o' pervert do you t'ink I am? Dat's what ya girlfriend is for!"

"Huh?" It took Scott a few seconds to realize that Remy had changed the direction of the conversation. "Is that all you think about?"

"Not all. No, wait... yeah, pretty much all."

"You're pathetic."

"T'ank you," Remy responded without missing a beat. "Now, was dere a purpose t'dis phone call, or did you jus' want t'hear de husky timbre o' my voice?"

"Are you insane?"

"Don' play innocent wit' me, M'sieu Summers! I've seen de way you check out my backside when you t'ink I ain't lookin'!"

"Wha- ? I'm not into you!" His outburst caused more than one snicker to ripple throughout the rec room. "I'm not! And I have never 'checked out your backside.'"

"Denial ain't jus' a river in Ethiopia."

"Egypt."

"Dere too."

"Goodbye, Gambit," Scott said pointedly.

"So we're back t'codenames now, eh? Tryin' t'distance yaself from what ya feelin' f'r me..."

"I'm hanging up now."

"I'm a one-woman kind o' guy, homme. Roguey's more dan enough t'satisfy - "

Click.

Evan called out to Scott from across the room, "Dude, you do realize that you didn't tell them to cancel the gargantuan-sized food order, right?"

The older boy's face fell. "Damn..."

"Whoo-hoo! More food!" Kurt rejoiced, waving his fist into the air. "Let ze pig-out begin!"

"Well, now what?" Rogue asked, placing her palms onto the couch cushion behind her and hoisting herself onto the seat. "It's gonna take them at least anothah hour ta pick up all th' extras, an' then drive back here. What are we gonna do 'til then?"

"Let's start on ze food fiesta!"

Kitty made a face. "With what? Mothballs and dust bunnies? That was, like, the whole point of the munchie run."

"Start a movie already!" Evan complained, shifting through Rogue's films-to-watch pile. He picked up a case. "Come on, The Raiders of the Lost Ark anyone?"

Jean looked at Scott in concern. "Are you all right?" she asked as he settled down next to her once again. "You look a little sick."

He shook his head. "I'm fine. I think I'm just getting a headache from all their arguing." He gestured to where the other four teens were loudly discussing their pre-movie plans.

"Here, why don't you lean back?" She gently pushed him towards the couch's backrest. "There you go... Now just close your eyes and relax..."

Reluctantly, Scott followed her instructions. He soon felt her cool hands against his temples, slowly and methodically easing the throbbing pain away.

"See? Now doesn't that help?" she whispered lightly into his ear. Her breath was warm against his skin. The only possible response he could muster at that moment was a content moan.

After a few blissful minutes of sensing nothing but Jean's touch on his body, he heard her ask tentatively, "Scott?"

"Hmmm?"

"Have you been checking out Remy's ass?"

He opened his eyes to see the twitch of a teasing smile pulling at the corner of her lips. With a groan, he said, "Not you, too."

The Madness continues in Part II...

*sigh*
... and you thought we were safe...