A/N: * Thanks to everyone that commented on the choice of flicks. Those were some of my 'ironing movies.' (You guessed it, movies I watch when I iron!) They have to be films that I'm so familiar with that I know when to stop ironing and watch the good parts, and when to just listen to the dialogue and make sure I'm not burning a hole in something. : ) The scary thing is that I was just typing out movies from off the top of my head. Because I'm such a movie freak, had I gone any further, the team would be sitting in that rec room until they all had great-grandchildren! ; )
* As for Cajun-derriere-watching, I have it down to a science. A comfy couch, bowl of chips, and a pair of binoculars -- with a telescope for those times when the boy travels long distances from my... ahem, observation tower.
~ Chaotic Boredom, Mag Carter, IceX, Kia Purity, Rogue Worrior Spirit, rogue4eva, Suja, epona, ShadowDragon, Lemon Parade, Taineyah, nessie, Wishful Thinking -- *passes out Madness-sponsored pixie sticks* ; )
~ Makura Koneko -- To tell you the truth, I'm actually an alien. No really, I am! No one believes me when I say that... Ooh, sweet! A costume? I definitely want! But please, no fluffy ruffles, flowers, or lace. Unless it's of the leather-and-lace variety, then it'd be okay. : )
~ Jen1703; Jean, Ororo, Rogue and Kurt -- Wow, two Scott and Jean fans! Coolness... ; )
~ Eileen Blazer -- You know what I'm doing right now? I'm twiddling my thumbs and waiting for you to update something of yours. And yes, I can type and twiddle at the same time! Stop changing the subject! : )
~ Thanx4reading -- Hey, ish and I have plans of world domination, too! We've been working out the details, 'cause you know something like that needs preparation. How embarrassing would it be if you took over the world and you just weren't prepared? And no, that plot bunny is not mine. I've been thinking of banning them from existence once I have the power to do so.
~ Disturbed Courtney -- Of course I was thinking of you when I included Nightmare Before Christmas. *scribbles furiously into notebook* Lie #243,542,765... I'm going to need a another record book soon...
~ ishandahalf -- 1) Well, you could always hunt the Lucky Charms kid down and turn him into, I don't know... Coco Puffs? 2) Nice-smelling bathroom products, eh? Even if it's the nice-smelling toilet bowl cleaner that makes the water a pretty shade of Caribbean blue? 3) Uhh... okay, you're amusing... right. *holds out hand* I'd like to be paid now, if you don't mind... 4) There will be no comforting Remy on my watch unless it is done by myself, or perhaps Rogue! Be warned, I have plot bunnies! 5) OMG, I did the same thing with the "husky timbre" line -- and I wrote the damn thing! I actually had to stop for a few minutes because I was thinking and feeling what Remy's voice would sound like! *shakes head* I am such a sap... ; )
~ Ning Ning -- Wow, the Madness is spreading via word of mouth! I don't know whether to be immensely happy, or immensely scared!
~ sphinx chick -- Ending updates like what? That wasn't even a cliffhanger-y chapter! : )
~ Panther Nesmith -- Maybe Scott should wonder about that... Hmm...
~ Flamingo -- Wow, you're a brave one for even thinking about adopting the Madness.
~ Alwaysright -- Oh c'mon, like you don't have that electric fence surrounding the tent! No one could get within ten feet of you without setting off at least a dozen alarms! ... And if Mystique was going to slice anyone's throat, I would've thought it'd be Remy, seeing as he is going after her daughter. ; ) ... What were those links that you left on the Review Board? I couldn't access either one. The first one said it was for members only, and the second couldn't be found.
~ Piratess -- Yeah, guidelines are basically there to be ignored whenever possible. And if all pirates were as yummy looking as Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, well damn, I don't think I'll ever need to come ashore again!
~ Cris-X -- I'm thinking that if the boys didn't overreact as they did, it wouldn't have been as entertaining -- and we wouldn't have had a story to begin with! ; )
CHAPTER 7
Movie Madness
Part II
"We're home!" Bobby shouted as he and Remy walked into the rec room, their arms laden with grocery bags. Two seconds later, they were assaulted by six stampeding teenagers who clawed at their load like there was no tomorrow.
"Where the heck have you been?!"
"Dudes, I have a grandmother that can shop faster than the two of you -- and she's sixty-five, with a bad hip!"
"... Ah'm damn well dyin' here! Do you know how many games o' Kitty's charades we had ta go through waitin' fo' you slowpokes? Jus' enough ta turn mah brain ta vapor, that's how many!"
"I'm, like, starving already! Where are my fruit pies?"
"Did you get the root beer? Dr. Pepper?"
"I hope you didn't forget the ice cream."
"Or the microwave pizza."
"And popcorn! We can't have Movie Day without popcorn!"
Both Remy and Bobby stood, stunned, as their teammates walked away from them without a second glance, too busy digging through the newly arrived snack selections.
"T'anks f'r de warm welcome!" Remy called out dryly, still rooted to the spot. "C'n tell how much you missed us!"
A chorus of grumbles answered him.
"Gee, ya response is overwhelmin'."
Further grumbling.
"There are more bags in the car, you know," Bobby added. "We could use a little help."
He was ignored in favor of artificial colors and flavoring.
"Especially with that fifteen-pound bag of candy corn you girls wanted us to get."
Still nothing.
He then turned to Remy. "This sucks! We already had to do the shopping, and now we have to do the unloading, too? Talk about unfair distribution of labor!"
"No worries, Ice-Cube, I got it covered." Remy cleared his throat and addressed the rest of the team. "Dere's a trunk-load o' stuff t'bring in, mes amis... an' a fistful o' change you won't be seein' if you don' -- " He hadn't even finished his sentence before all six occupants shot out of their seats and were out the door.
"Damn," murmured the younger boy in awe. "That was amazing."
"You should see me when I'm actually tryin'." Remy grinned, slowly following the others out into the foyer. Catching up with Kitty, he pulled her aside. "Need t'see you f'r a bit, petite."
She shifted slightly under the weight of the bags in her arms. "These are kind of heavy, Remy. Can't it, like, wait?"
"Non." He easily lifted the packages and deposited them into Kurt's already full hands. The extra load caused the young German's knees to buckle in protest. "Merci, homme." He yanked Kitty into the kitchen before either she or Kurt could protest.
"What's, like, so important?"
Remy opened a cabinet and began pulling out plates, bowls and glasses, setting them down on the countertop. "T'ought you might like dis back," he stated, pulling out something from within the recesses of his trench coat.
She squealed in delight. "You got me another camera! Wow, Remy, that was so nice of you! I have to admit, I thought you were just, like, pulling my leg when you said you'd get me a new one, but I should have known better than to doubt you. Though I'm not really sure I want to know how you got this. It's not like you have a paying job or anything, do you? Did you steal it? Maybe I shouldn't even ask that -- "
Remy could only blink as the words tumbled out of her mouth. At the rate she was going, he wouldn't be able to get a word in edgewise until they were both dead and buried -- and even then his chances didn't look so good.
" -- and it's even the same model! I, like, can't believe you remembered the mod-- "
Holding up his hands, Remy said, "Slow down an' take a breath, petite. You turn any bluer, we're gonna have t'pin a tail on you an' start callin' you 'Kurt.'" He reached over and tapped the object in her hands. "'Sides, it ain't new. It's de same camera you lent me."
"But..." She stared at him with confusion in her eyes. "I thought you charged it."
"Do I look dat stupid, petite?" He cut her off when she was about to respond with a resounding 'yes.' "Somet'in' as attention-grabbin' as dat picture ain't gettin' destroyed in my hands dat easy."
"So why did you tell Rogue and Kurt that you charred it to ashes?"
"T'ought dat much would've been clear as day. Dey ain't so mad at us now, n'est-ce pas?"
Kitty had to admit that was true. Ever since Rogue learned of the camera's demise, she had been a little more lenient towards her roommate. Not one-hundred-percent, going-out-of-her-way-to-be-nice, but still... at least it wasn't the homicidal tendencies of the previous day.
"I guess so..." She glanced down at the device. "Did you make a copy of it already?"
"Copies, petite," he corrected with a satisfied grin. "Copies."
She made a face. "You do realize that the more copies you have of that picture, the greater the chance Rogue'll find out that you still have it -- and the less likely she'll agree to go out with you."
"I'm hurt, mademoiselle. You have so very li'l faith in jus' how charmin' I c'n be."
"I don't exactly see Rogue falling at your feet," she pointed out.
"An' I don' see her pushin' me off a cliff either."
"Oh, is that what it takes to make you go away? I'll have to, like, ask the Professor to build a really steep one right outside your bedroom door."
He smirked. "Looks like de kitty cat's been sharpenin' her claws." Walking toward the far counter, he called over his shoulder, "I went shoppin' t'day, remember? Picked up a li'l somet'in'..."
Kitty mouth dropped open slightly before she squealed in delight once again. "You did it! You actually took my advice and got her a -- "
"Not so loud, petite!" he hissed, throwing a cursory glance at the doorway to make sure no one was there. "Don' wanna ruin de surprise."
The grin on her face couldn't be helped. "It's nice to know you're finally listening to someone who actually knows what Rogue likes." She smiled even wider. "She is, like, so gonna love this!"
"Love what?"
Remy whipped around to come face to face with Jean. His quick reflexes were the only thing that hide his recently purchased package from her view.
"Rien [Nothing]."
"Oh c'mon, Remy! We can, like, tell Jean! The one you should really be worrying about is Bobby. Everyone knows Bobby can't keep his mouth shut."
"Ice-Boy's under de threat o' a kinetically charged atomic wedgie."
"Well, then it must be serious," Jean decided, moving closer. "What's up?"
Kitty was practically bouncing from foot to foot with excitement. "Can I tell her, Remy? Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?"
"Non."
"Like, pleeeaaase...?"
Jean easily slid onto the countertop. "You obviously underestimate Kitty's ability to whine like a four-year-old."
"Yup, state champion," the young brunette declared proudly. "Three years in a row." She emphasized her point with the appropriate number of fingers thrust in his direction.
Remy sighed. He never could win arguments with women. Sidestep and charm, yes, but actually win? 'A cold day in hell' sounded about right. "Dis is jus' 'tween de three o' us. No one else hears."
Both Kitty and Jean held up their right hands, and then crossed their hearts. "Woman's honor," they chorused.
"Dat's what I'm afraid of." He shook his head and waved lethargically in Jean's direction. "Go ahead an' tell her, petite."
Giggling, Kitty turned to the redhead. She didn't say a word, but her face was full of expression. It took Remy a second to realize that Kitty was relying the information via Jean's telepathic powers.
"You're kidding!" the older girl gushed when the story was finished. She turned bright green eyes on Remy. "You really like her, don't you?"
"He probably loves her by now," Kitty answered before he had a chance to. "It's so sweet!"
"Who would have thought that our resident Cajun charmer would fall in love?"
"Isn't it, like, straight out of a fairy tale?"
Remy raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Fairy tale?"
"Yeah, you know -- notorious playboy falls for the beautiful yet aloof princess, overcomes some difficult struggle, and then rides into the sunset on a white stallion to live happily ever after in a castle in the sky." Both girls sighed blissfully at the thought.
"Okay, one," Remy pointed out, counting off on his fingers, "de 'difficult struggle' o' her powers hasn't been 'overcome' yet. Two, if I'm ridin' anyt'in' inta de sunset it's gon' be my Harley, an' not some white stallion dat I'm gon' have t'clean up after when he's t'rough wit' lunch. An' three, where am I gon' get a castle in de sky? Can't 'sactly find dose on de real estate market nowadays."
Ignoring him completely, Jean commented, "I bet you two will have beautiful children."
"Oh, without question! They'd be so cute running around the mansion! Little versions of Remy and Rogue." Kitty's eyes lit up suddenly. "I call godmother!"
"What? Kitty, you can't call godmother," Jean protested.
"Why can't I?"
"Because that's not how it goes."
"So? What do I care how it goes? As long as I get to be their kids' godmother."
"Well, if you call godmother then I call maid of honor."
"Hey, no way!"
"You called godmother."
Remy looked from Jean to Kitty in utter disbelief. "Don' you two t'ink ya gettin' jus' a li'l ahead o' yaselves?" He might as well have been in another state for all the attention they were paying him.
"I can't believe you called maid of honor!"
"What, you get to be godmother and maid of honor? I don't think so."
"I wanted to be maid of honor!"
"Then I get godmother."
"No!"
Remy tried one last time. "Really t'ink ya goin' off de deep end here. Pretty sure dat One-Eye an' Jeannie would go first -- "
"Kitty, it's either one or the other. Choose."
"Why can't I have both?"
"So I get none? That's not fair."
"I'll pay you."
"You'll pay me so you can have both?" Jean asked dryly.
"Yes."
"Kitty, you don't have enough money to buy me off."
"I will when I'm filthy, stinking rich."
"I'm afraid I can't wait that long -- Mother Theresa wouldn't have been able to wait that long and she had the patience of a saint! So unless you have anything better, you're just gonna have to choose one."
Kitty grudgingly mumbled, "I guess we could always share maid of honor."
"And godmother?"
"That too."
"Good." Jean slid off the counter and smiled in satisfaction. "Now that that's decided, we should get started on the wedding."
Remy's eyes widened even further than they already were. "De weddin'?"
"Yes," Jean nodded matter-of-factly, opening a drawer and pulling out the pad and pencil they used for listing down groceries. "It's never too early to start planning. Do you know how hard it is to book a half-decent venue? It's near impossible." She poised the pencil over the paper. "Now, Remy, be honest... how do you feel about coattails and a top hat?"
The Madness continues in Part III...