Disclaimer: I'm being sued for neglect by the Disclaimer. It's a bogus charge, I tell you - BOGUS! And you won't be getting a penny from me! Not one penny! Mostly because I don't even have a penny right now, but that isn't the point!

A/N: Bwah ha ha - cough Dammit! cough ... hairball... Thought you were all safe, did you? Just because it's been 10 months since this story was last updated doesn't mean that you all get off that easily! (Man, it's been 10 months already? Whew...) Well, the Madness is back. I'd be afraid if I were you - very, very afraid.

Usually, I reply to everyone's reviews before the chapter starts, but let's face facts: there are just enough to make my head explode with the effort. And besides, most of you probably don't even remember what you said in all of them anyway. But every single one is greatly appreciated... ; )

CHAPTER 9
Movie Madness Part IV

"When do you think they'll give it up?" asked Jean as she lifted a can of soda to her lips.

"Prob'ly when dey wear de carpet down inta not'in' wit' all dat dancin'," Remy tossed back from his perch atop the kitchen counter. He popped a potato chip into his mouth and crunched loudly. "Or when de Professor gets de electric bill an' kicks deir butts back t' de fifties... whichever comes first."

Scott looked up from where he was scrounging around in the refrigerator. "We should have thought of grabbing some snacks when we came in here. We left all the good stuff out there."

"Sugah, if you want ta venture back out there, by all means, be our guest. It's gonna be yoah eardrums that'll get th' beatin', not ours," Rogue said.

All fours teens turned as the kitchen door suddenly swished open, allowing Kitty to stroll in. She cradled her left hand, holding it close to her body.

Her roommate quirked an eyebrow in her direction. "What happened ta you?"

Kitty let out a loud groan before answering. She headed to the freezer to extract a handful of ice, and then dropped the cubes into the plastic bag that Jean extended to her. "I was, like, trying to save us all by rescuing the remote control from the karaoke twins out there." She raised her injured hand as proof. "Kurt's quicker than I gave him credit for. And he's got a lot of control with that tail of his."

"I don't suppose you smuggled a Twinkie in with you?" questioned Scott hopefully.

"Sorry. The snack table's, like, deep within enemy territory, you know."

"Are they still at it?" Jean nudged the door open a quarter of an inch. Blaringly loud music wailed in from the direction of the rec room, along with a duet of off-key voices. "They're not still on Grease, are they?"

"For the past hour. They, like, alternate on who gets to play Danny and who gets to be Sandy for the ending song."

Rogue stifled a sigh. "There's gotta be a way ta shut those two up."

"You mean short o' givin' dem cyanide?"

"ARGH!"

For the second time that day, the occupants of the kitchen turned toward the door to watch Bobby storm in with his hands protectively over his ears.

"For the love of everything soft and fluffy, MAKE THEM STOP!"

"What's de matter, homme? Not enjoyin' de concert? We got you such good seats too, right down in de front row."

Bobby looked up long enough to scowl at them. "You guys abandoned me to the vultures. No, no, scratch that. The vultures would have been more humane. Those two," he pointed toward the rec room, "torture you 'til your brain is whisked around like a scrambled egg."

"Eggs!" Scott cried out suddenly, moving back toward the refrigerator. "I think I saw a bunch of eggs in here. We can make omelets or something."

Kitty returned her attention back to Bobby. "Like, please tell me you at least tried to get the remote from them."

"Are you kidding me? I like having my body in one piece, thank you very much."

"Oh, fo' cryin' out loud!" Rogue exclaimed, marching toward the door. "It's jus' th' Elf an' th' Porcupine!" Without another word, she exited the kitchen.

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Think she'll be back?"

"Ten bucks says she won't be."

"Jean!" Scott called from near the stove.

"What? A little extra cash never hurt anyone," she answered guiltlessly. "And I have no problem taking it from Bobby."

"Hey!"

Looking over to Gambit, who was unusually quiet, Kitty inquired, "Aren't you even the tiniest bit concerned about her, Remy? I mean, she is all alone out there."

Remy shrugged nonchalantly. "De girl c'n take care o' herself, n'est-ce pas? Ain't like her brother's gon' kill her or not'in'."

"Not on purpose anyway," Bobby put in. "Accidentally... now that's another thing all together." He gestured with his hands. "I can see the headlines now: 'Sibling Rivalry Leads to Gruesome Tragedy: Death by Karaoke Overdose.'" Shaking his head regrettably, he continued, "I'm telling you, man, it's not going to be pretty."

"Rogue c'n take care o' herself," repeated Remy, his voice full of confidence. He popped another potato chip into his mouth.

Silence fell over the group. The only audible sounds were the ticking of the wall-hung clock and the slight hissing of Scott's cooking. Outside the kitchen window, they heard a chorus of birds cheerfully singing.

"You're just dying to go out there, aren't you?" Scott commented from over his shoulder as he transferred his omelet onto a clean plate.

"Non, I'm not." Another potato chip was crunched loudly. The Cajun's leg swung casually from side to side. "Rogue's a tough girl. She c'n handle anyt'in' dat comes her – Okay, oui, I am," he admitted, jumping down and all but rushing through the doorway that Rogue had disappeared through several minutes before.

"Hey, like, wait for us!"

One by one, they left the kitchen, only to come to a screeching halt at the entrance to the rec room. The sight that greeted them caused all of their jaws to drop like fifty-pound bags of cement. They were prepared to see Kurt and Evan dancing vigorously in front of the big-screen television while singing at the top of their out-of-tune lungs, but they were certainly not prepared to find Rogue performing right along with them, as if she had been doing it all her life.

"I don't believe it," murmured Jean in utter disbelief. "I'm seeing it with my own eyes, but I don't believe it."

Bobby nodded slowly in agreement. "First, she's all nice and smiley when Remy gives her those cupcakes. And now she's doing karaoke like it's an everyday thing." He turned to the rest of his teammates. "I don't like this. I want to go home."

"Somebody do something," Kitty whispered. "I can't watch this anymore. It's starting to scare me."

They all cringed when Rogue stood up to imitate the dance number that was on the television screen. Kurt and Evan, joining the routine, flanked her on both sides.

Scott looked to the floor in defeat. "I knew it would happen sooner or later. All those voices in her head have finally caused her to crack." He shot a concerned look towards Remy and was surprised to see the other X-Man in complete shock. "Uh-huh, looks like we're going to have to deal with Gambit, too."

Walking over to their Cajun teammate, Jean waved her hand over his face several times. She was rewarded with nothing but a blank stare. "It looks serious. We better take him to the Professor."

"And tell him what?" asked Bobby. "That Rogue broke the Cajun with her imitation of Grease?"

"I know how to fix this." Kitty took a deep breath and screamed, "Rogue!"

Standing next to her and yet again protecting his ears, Bobby stated, "Yeah, that's fixing it all right."

At the sound of her name, the southerner turned. "Oh... hi, guys." She took in their curious stares and disbelieving looks. "What?" she asked innocently. "They let me be Sandy. Ah always wanted ta be Sandy."

"Traitor," Kitty hissed as she came around the sofa to settle down. "Are you yahoos finished with your Viva-Las-Vegas-showgirls thing already? Can we, like, get on with Movie Day?"

"But ve were just getting started," complained Kurt, reluctant to let go of the hairbrush he had been using as a fake microphone. "Ve were planning to go back to ze start of ze movie and redo all ze songs X-Men style!"

"Oh, dear Lord, please give us strength," Jean whimpered.

Crossing the room, Bobby made his way to the player and declared, "Then we are definitely changing the movie. What's next on the list?"

With a sigh, Rogue picked up the next case. "It's more fun than you'd think, y'all," she defended. A number of simultaneous groans were thrown in her direction. "All right, all right! Next movie: Speed." She lifted her eyes and finally took notice of Gambit standing frozen across the room. "Hey, what's up with th' swamp rat?"

"The song and dance routine knocked him senseless," answered Scott. "Give him a few minutes. He should come around."

Evan made his way over to the Cajun. "Are you sure?" He repeated Jean's earlier gesture of waving his hand in front of Gambit's face. "Dude, he's like a statue. That can't be good, right?"

"You mean he can't move?" Kurt joined Evan. "At all? Cool..." He turned back to the snack table and picked up a few items. Returning, he carefully plugged the Cajun's nose with two marshmallows.

"Kurt Wagner!" Rogue scolded, placing her hands on her hips. "How is he s'pposed ta breathe like that?"

"Don't worry, liebling. His mouth is open. He can breathe through zere." Taking a handful of popcorn, he began to sprinkle some on top of Gambit's head.

"Dude, you do realize that he's going to kill us once he wakes up," reasoned Evan.

"I know. But until zen, ve can have all ze fun ve want."

Bobby ran over with a can of whipped cream. "Hey, I want in!" Shaking the can, he dabbed some on the tip of their victim's nose and mouth.

"You all are going to die horrible deaths," Jean told them from her place next to Scott.

"Yeah, but ze moments before zat vill be fun!"

"Leave them alone, guys. It's their funeral." Kitty turned and called over her shoulder, "No, no, no. You guys, put some of the candy corn on top of the whipped cream! It'll keep them in place. Haven't you ever done this before?" She shrugged off the odd looks Scott, Jean and Rogue were giving her. "What? I used to go to summer camp when I was a kid. You learn some stuff."

"Obviously," remarked Jean.

Settling back onto the couch, Rogue announced, "We're startin' th' next movie, y'all. Grab a seat."

"Be there in a minute." Strategically placing the last licorice stick into Remy's waistband, Evan stood back to admire their handiwork. "I actually think it's a big improvement for him."

Kurt nodded. "Definitely." Before returning to his seat, he reached down to the coffee table where Rogue had left her cupcakes.

"An' jus' what do you think yoah doin', mister?"

Stopping with the treat in midair, Kurt looked toward his sister. "Trying a cupcake?"

"Ah don' think so. You jus' go right ahead an' put that back where you found it."

Kurt held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay... putting ze cupcake back..." He made a show of returning it to its box, but then suddenly pulled it back toward his body. "On second thought, I think I'll hold ze cupcake hostage." As his sister started toward him, he held out his hand to stop her. "Ah-ah-ah... one false move and ze cupcake gets it." He turned it upside down, threatening to drop it top-first onto the carpet.

"You wouldn't dare!" Rogue hissed.

"Try me, liebling. I just might."

"Don' do anythin' stupid, Kurt. Jus' put th' cupcake back with th' others an' we can fo'get 'bout th' whole thing. Finish Movie Day with ev'rybody happy an' all their body parts intact."

He relaxed his defensive stance. "You're right. Ve shouldn't be doing this." Looking at the cupcake thoughtfully, he continued, "Ve shouldn't... but let's do it anyway!" He popped the sweet into his mouth without even blinking.

Rogue's jaw dropped in disbelief. "You... you are deader than dead, Wagner!"

Picking up a fruit pie, she hurled it at him. At the last second, Kurt teleported himself to safety. The pie, however, continued on its course, smashing into Bobby's forehead.

"Hey, I ain't even a part of this! Quit aiming for innocent bystanders!" He chucked a burrito back at Rogue. She dodged it and bit down a laugh when it hit Kitty in the shoulder.

"Like, yuck! Bobby! Now I smell like a Mexican restaurant!" She grabbed a handful of candy corn and started pelting her assaulter with them. "I can't believe you did that!"

Evan winced as a few of the candy projectiles caught him as well. "Girl, chill, will ya? You're clipping me, too!"

"Yeah, Kitty, listen to Evan... chill!" Bobby used his powers to create miniature snowballs, which he used as ammunition against his teammates.

From where she was still sitting with Scott, Jean observed, "The adults are going to kill us again, aren't they?"

"Most probably," her boyfriend responded.

"Wow... twice in the past forty-eight hours. That's got to be some kind of record."

"Actually, I think that's normal in this household."

She arched an eyebrow toward the chaos that was unfolding before them. "Wanna join them?"

"I don't know... I don't think we should be encouraging this kind of behavior."

"You're right." She telekinetically stopped a cream puff from landing in her lap. "But then, we're probably already considered accomplices for just being in the same room as them." She sent the pastry flying into Scott's face. "Might as well have some fun while we can, right?" She laughed at the surprise on his face, and then shrieked when he caught her by the waist and used his free hand to spray her with whipped cream.

The sounds of the food fight were slowly waking Remy from his stupor. He shook his head slightly to clear it. Noticing the battle raging on, he started to join in when he suddenly stopped. Curiously, he looked down at himself.

Dieu, he thought menacingly. Dey're gon' pay f'r dis. A squishy sensation was coming from the general area of his pants. Oh, are dey ever gon' pay f'r dis. Without hesitation, he threw himself into the fray.

"Hey, like, no fair! Kurt's got his hands and his tail to use! I call disqualification!"

"Stop bein' such a baby, Kit-Kat! Here, have some chocolate cake!"

"Evan, stop throwing pickles! That's going to stink up the house!"

"Right, Jean, like the rest of this food mixed together is going to make it smelling like roses."

"Let me borrow one o' ya snowballs, Ice-Cube."

"Here you go, Cajun. What're you going to use it for?"

"Watch an' learn, mon ami."

"Rogue, that's not – Crap! GAMBIT!"

"Whoa... I don't think I've ever seen Fearless Leader jump that high."

"Any higher an' he'd've cracked his skull open on de chandelier. Now, let's see what happens when we slip one down de Elf's pants..."

"Let us not, Gambit."

All movement in the rec room ceased. Very slowly, the eight teenagers turned toward the doorway. Ororo stood with her hands sternly positioned on her hips, with an expression that was anything but happy.

"Vell, there goes Movie Day..."

- oOo -

I thought I'd dedicate this chapter to ishandahalf, who I've been lucky enough to have as an email buddy for more than a year now. (I've known you longer than my boyfriend! ; ) Thanks for letting me vent about Red, and for keeping me entertained with all the drama on your end. ; ) And for subtly suggesting that I start up these fics again. Here's to our plans of world domination! : )