Disclaimer: So far, only Rina Ito is my own original character, all the other yummy men in this
story all belong to Yoko Matsushita.
WARNINGS: Same warning as before, the rating will go up maybe later, but for right now it's all
thanks to violence and language. Flying OOC'ness in characters, but it's an AU, so that can't
be helped right?...hehe..heh...*cough*!
PAIRINGS: TsuxSoka, and I finally get to dabble a little more in this area (hehe!)
POV warnings, the point of view will change sometimes at the scene changes, hope it's not too
confusing, but it's hard to use a Tsuzuki first person when he's not even in the scene, ne?
Also, '..' is thoughts and /../ is a memory, okay?
..........................................................................................
My World of Strawberries and Cream.
When I was a Child, I Spoke as Child
We made it to Nagasaki.
I'm more shocked That I made it in one piece. My head was still pounding, well, at least
the ringing has stopped in my ears. Did I mention that Hisoka's empathy is enhanced by touch?
Well, that's probably because I didn't know! Did I also mention that Hisoka has a good right hook
as well? I rub my hand over the sore spot on my head.
It wasn't such a big thing, just me trying to be friendly.
"Would you stop moping already?" Hisoka's voice was it's usual cold tone, with just a hint
of irritation mixed in. Hmm, that sounds like baking...
"What's with you??" Hisoka does a complete turn to stop right in front of me. I back
step once, just so I don't bump into him. His eye's are fierce, and seem to be burning with an
unasked question.
"With me? What do you mean?" His finger flys to the center of my forehead, stopping
just a few centimeters short of touching me. This is making me feel cross eyed right now.
"You, in here. You're thoughts...They're all over the place! Can't you get it a little
bit more together up there?"
"That's an odd request."
'Did I just say that out loud?'
"F-O-C-U-S, or, are you unable to do that?"
"Uhh...Maybe." My smile out in full force, and he just lookes at me like I'm a-
"Baka!" Whipping back around, he continues the trek to the hotel Tatsumi set us up in.
I can't help but chuckle. What I said, it's true. I can't focus my thoughts, to do so would
mean that I would have to start thinking about them. That's what I can't do. The only reason
I can smile like this now, the only reason I've been able to stay with the NSF, is that I haven't
let myself think about anything for too long. If I thought about anything, then I'd have to think
about everything eventually. But, as I've already said, there's no way I'm going to start any
kind of thinking that will bring up memories from before. I won't do it. Unfortunately, this job
isn't quite one that has things that don't constantly relate to back then. Maybe that's why I
come off as such an air head...
Oh well, best not to dwell on it.
Hisoka has stopped in front of me again. I give my questioning smile, but the look he is
giving me, isn't softened by my fake smile. He just stares at me, with a look... I truly can't
read. As if he finally has reached a conclusion, his look becomes a distant one, he turns away
from me again. I barely here the words pass from his lips, which is a feat considering my
enhanced hearing.
"How odd..."
I blink at him a few times before I place the words off as just having been my imagination.
We arrive at the hotel, and I handle the work at the front desk. I smile at the lady there, and
she blushes and begins to flirt with me. Well, at least my smile hasn't lost it's power! Hisoka
just seems to be immune to it... hmm, must work on that. Actually, I just want to see that blush
again.
I turn around with the hotel key's in hand, and am greeted by a fist to my face. Falling
down and clutching my jaw, my eye's fall onto my aggressor. Hisoka is shaking out his hand, his
face stuck in that same scowl as before, except, much to my delight, crimson is staining his
cheeks.
'Oh yeah, he can read thoughts...' I give a nervous laugh. Well, it looks like I'm going
to have to work on keeping that mental shield up better.
"Oh, SIR!!" The woman rushes out from behind the desk to give me a hand up. "Are you
okay?! What's the matter with you?!" She turns from concerned to angry in less then five seconds,
her questions directed at Hisoka who just looks more pissed then before.
"No, no!" I place a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Really, I had that coming. Thank you
for your concern, but really it's okay!"
"Oh...," She looks down then at Hisoka, then back at me, then at Hisoka again. It looks
like the wheels in her head must have been turning, because now her face is beet red and her jaw
has dropped. I was kind of shocked thought when her next statement wasn't directed at me, but at
my partner.
"I'm SO sorry!"
"Huh??" Hisoka has backed up a few steps to keep the distance between him and the advancing
desk clerk. "Wha-what are you talking about?"
"Well, it's just," Her blush deepens a little as she looks at Hisoka, who is now doing
his best to make sure she doesn't touch him. "If I had known, that he was, that you were... Oh,
well I never would have..." She does a quick bow to Hisoka, then quickly turns back on me.
Reflexively my arms jump up. She reaches out and snatches the key to our room back from my hand.
"I'll make it up to you," She goes back behind the desk and gives me a new key and room number.
"Here, don't worry about a thing, just enjoy your stay. I'm giving you the same rate, okay?"
There's an odd smile that is pushing on her lips and I have to say...It's kind of scary!
"Wait, just what-"
"Thank you very much miss," I bow and cut off Hisoka. Quickly I pull him out of the
lobby, and away from the crowd we were attracting. Upon turning down the hall and entering the
elevator I heave a sigh of relief.
"What's the big idea?!" Hisoka glares at me, or more like the hand I still have on his
arm. I quickly realize my folly and remove said offending hand.
"We were attracting a crowd," I calmly try to explain to him. "We need to work discretely,
and, incase you didn't notice, that was NOT discrete."
"B-but she--!!" I raise my hand to cut him off.
"Look, we're partners, but I'm also the one who is calling the shots here. After all,
this is your first mission, isn't it?" He looks like he's about to protest, then he looks away,
anger fully permeating the air around him.
Personal note of things not to do, do NOT make Hisoka angry.
We make our way to the room and I open the door, and my jaw drops. The room is lavishly
decorated, deep red curtains, embroidered rugs, and beautifully engraved wood furniture. That was
all well and good, but the thing that made me choke was the bed. A single heart shaped bed.
"It's the honeymoon suite..."
"That's what I was TRYING to tell you. Baka!"
"Wait, then that means... She thought...and..." I can feel heat rising to my face.
Ohhh, this is going to be the biggest joke at HQ! We'll never live this down! However, I move
into the room, finding a strange heart shaped red box on the bed. 'Belgian Chocolates' Compliments
of the staff. "This might not be so bad, after all with a bed like this...," I smile as I look
down at the treats in fornt of me, dropping the luggage down on the floor.
"WHAT?!?" Hisoka looks like he's having a coronary at my words. I lift up the chocolates
and smile fully at him.
"Look! They're free!!"
"...."
"What?"
"...."
"What?? Hey, you can't go out alone. Hey WAIT!!" Snatching up my coat and the case file,
I chase after my partner.
'Really, what's so bad about chocolates?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hontoni baka," Hisoka quickly made his way out of the lobby doors, ignoring the grin
the lady at the front desk was directing his way. So, she thought him and that baka were...
an 'item'?? Shoving his hands into his pockets he trudged up the street. It wasn't like Tsuzuki
was an bad guy or anything, but... he was such an IDIOT! Hisoka hadn't barley even met the man
and already formed this opinion of his unwanted 'partner'. He breathed out, releasing a breath
he didn't know he was holding. There was also something different about this guy too. There was
something that set him out from every person he'd ever met. It was so ODD, and for all his
abilities he couldn't put his finger quite on what it was, and that was bugging him. There was
something almost so...innocent about the guy. Yet, he was working for an organization like this?
Hisoka new what the NSF was all about. When they came for him, he hadn't fought, but listened and
agreed to join them. His reasons for such were, well, his reasons were his reasons. He knew why
he was here, but someone who had that pure look in their eyes? Such a sad and troubled soul, too.
He had thought his partner would have been someone more like that man he had met earlier, what was
his name, 'Tatsumi'? He was thrown for a new one when he realized his partner was more of an
idiotic child, then a cool professional.
"Hisoka!"
"And he's so DENSE!"
"Hey, Hisoka, where are you going?" The annoying man came running up to him. Hisoka hoped
to distance himself from this guy, but it didn't seem to be working, now did it?
"Well I WAS going someplace where you weren't, but I guess I can't do that now, can I?"
Hisoka took inventory of the harsh words effects on the other man. He stopped. Looked puzzled,
maybe even a little hurt, but then, he smiled at him. He SMILED. Hisoka was an empath. He could
feel the effects his harsh words and glares had on the man. Tsuzuki was hurt by each one, then,
instead of looking hurt, instead of getting angry, he just smiled at Hisoka, as if it was okay
that he was a jerk to him.
Yes, Hisoka knew he was being a jerk to the older man. Yet taking others feelings into
account was never something he did before. Why bother? Everyone either turned to disliking him,
or leaving him alone. His personality sure didn't leave much middle ground. This Tsuzuki though,
somehow FOUND that middle ground, because, here he was again, smiling at him again. Hisoka reached
out with his empathy, just enough to graze the top of his mind. There was confusion, anxiety,
and even... what? was that fondness? Is that what that was? This man wasn't frustrated, irritated,
didn't hate him yet?! He was trying really hard to be cold to this guy, which wasn't such a far
from normal treatment most of the time to people in general, but this guy was immune to it!!
Hisoka's brow twisted slightly. It was irritating.
Time to redouble the efforts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally! I stop in front of Hisoka, catching my breath. He walks pretty fast.
"Hey, Hisoka, where are you going?"
"Well I WAS going someplace where you weren't, but I guess I can't do that now, can I?"
Well, how can one reply to something like that? Hisoka is looking at me as if he's trying to
decide something. He's been doing that a lot. I smile at him, it's kinda nice to see him when
he's trying so hard to figure out something. He's eye's turn hard with resolution and he quickly
turns away from me.
"We're only partners for this one case," his eye's are cold as jade as he turns his face
to me, "I want to finish this case as soon as possible. I have no interest in working with such
a fool longer then I have to." Those last words, he spits them out, like they were bitter on his
tongue. That was harsh. It makes sense though, he doesn't want to work with me at all anyway,
so, of course he wants to end this case, and get away from such a baka partner.
'Of course no one wants an idiot for a partner.'
A smile. A nod. Words from me to him. Yes, it's fine. He turns to head toward the
murder site, I think that's where we are going, right? It's fine. My hand is in my pocket, there's
something there. I pull out a package of the taffies, strawberries and cream. I pop one of the
candies in my mouth. Yes it's fine, it's okay, no one ever stays. I didn't expect him to either.
So, why does it seem to hurt?
When did I start to hope he would stay?
My tongue rolls the candy over in my mouth. The flavors are all there, strawberries and
heavy milk, a rich cream. It's all there. The warm flavor. Something's wrong though.
Why won't it work?
The flavors are bland on my tongue, the warm leaves a cold trail. I spite the
candy out, it's starting to make me feel more nauseous then good. That's never happened before,
has it? No, that's no good! Don't think about before now. Don't think about anything.
It's fine.
It's okay if I'm not needed.
After all, 'the world doesn't need a monster like me'.
So, I'll smile, then no one will ask what's wrong. I'll smile, and everyone will ignore
me. I'll smile, and fade into nothing. I'll smile, until I die. Yes, that's a good plan. I
wonder when that will be?
I wonder how much longer I'll have to wait, till my body stops betraying me. Till it stops
forcing me to live.
Oh, Hisoka has stopped. It's the ally I guess, there's police tape everywhere. To die...
I wonder what that's like? This was no way for any human to die. It's too sad. Her blood, you
can still see where the circle was drawn using her blood. It's not right. For any human to die
in such a way....
Life is cruel.
"What?" Hisoka turns to me. I smile as I check my mental shielding. It's still going
strong. Getting used to having it up all the time, not so hard. Hisoka looks to the side a
little, his expression softens for the first time since I first met him.
"What?" He repeats himself again, his tone is softer, almost...what?
"It's just... it's not right, for any human to die this way." I run my hand over one
of the red marks left in the ground. I can feel the hum as the energy left there responds to my
touch. It glows just a little, flickering a red light. "It's not right."
"How did you...?" His gaze is fixed on the dissipating light that fades when I remove my
hand.
"What?" I sound like a parrot, imitating his question before.
"Just now, how did you...?" He finally looks up to my eyes, he almost looks...scared?
"Oh," I give my signature smile. "They didn't tell you about me?" I keep my smile on,
keep up the face. He really doesn't know? Well, I guess no one felt he needed to know, but, he
seems smart enough. Looks like he could have figured it out, given time. Oh well, it's our
'only case together' isn't it? He can't possible hate me more than he does now, but even if he
did, it's fine.
"I'm a monster."
Yes, it's fine.
"Monster?" There's that unreadable expression on his face again. I can't take this any
more. Diversionary tactic; the case.
"Can you tell me anything?"
"Huh?" Bull's eye.
"Well, with you're empathy. I really don't know how it works too well," I look around
the scene, taking in the whole layout of the area. "Can you get anything that might help from
this area?"
"Ye-...y-yes, I might be able to," He stutters a little, "the area is projecting strongly.
It shouldn't be hard to pick-up something from here." He's eye's are nervously skittering over
the ally.
"What's wrong?"
"NOTHING!" O~kay, so I don't know a lot, but it defiantly doesn't seem like nothing.
He looks frightened, and failing at trying to hide it. It's kinda hard to miss it when someone
is shaking like a leaf.
Is it what I said?
"I can do it..." He seems to whisper slightly to himself. It's taking all his will to
do... Whatever he's trying to do!
"Hey, Hisoka, it's okay," Well, I don't know what's okay, but it seems like he's scared
to use his powers. If THAT'S the problem, then it's fine if he doesn't, especially if it's going
to shake him up this bad! I get up to move toward him, but I feel a light surge of energy pushing
at me. The wind in the ally picks up a bit, or it seems to at first. That is, till I realize
that the source seems to be Hisoka. His eye's seem to glow slightly, and then he's mouth opens.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!"
Scream, a blood chilling scream. I try and push through the wind to him, but the force
only seems to grow stronger the more I press forward. I think I'm calling his name, but I can't
hear anything but that scream now. I push forward again, using all my strength. The ground gives
way a little underneath my feet, but I keep pressing forward. Hisoka's hands have gone up to his
head, cradling it, but he's still screaming. He falls to his knees, but he still keeps screaming.
Somehow I reach him. I try calling him again, but I can't even hear my own voice. I
hesitantly place my hands on him. He doesn't stop screaming, he won't even look at me. His face
is twisted in horror, on his face is the visage of fear it's self. I try shaking him, but it's
like I'm not even here. I don't know what to do!
/I'm here.../
I don't know what to do. The only thing I know, is that someone did this for me once.
/I'll be here... always/
Slowly my arms wrap around his small frame. I place my head over his, I can smell the
sent of his blond hair. 'Sunflowers'.
/Even if you never return, I'll wait... I promise I'll wait.../
The scream's stop, and he collapses into my arms. I keep him held tightly. I look into
his face, he's passed out, but at least his face isn't twisted in that expression anymore.
/I'll wait, till after forever..../
Slowly, I carefully pick him up in my arms. I need to get him to a hospital. I take off,
running to the only hospital in the area I know of.
/Till the end of time..../
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ITHURTSITHURTS!PLEASESTOPEIT!!PLEASEWHYAREYOUDOINGTHISTOME?IHAVEN'TDONEANYTHINGWRONG!NODON'T
PLEASEDON'TDOTHAT!!NOTTHAT!!NONONONONONONONONONONO!GODPLEASEHELPME!GODPLEASE!PLEASE!PLEASE!!GOD
HELPME!!!!/
'It's hurts, it hurts! Please stope it!!'
/A small blade, slicing easily through my skin/
'Please why are you doing this to me? I haven't done anything wrong!'
/I can't move and blood is poring from my wounds. A hand. His hand is covered in
my blood. He's carving into my skin, he's carving into my flesh!!/
'Carving, he's carving into my body. Not again, not again!'
/I can't move, am I dead? So cold. What? Did he stop? What? N-no, not that...!
Please, not that!! Please God, HELP ME!!!/
'Why, why are you doing this to me? My life isn't enough? IT WASN'T ENOUGH?!?'
/GOD PLEASE! PLEASE!...please...!!/
'Please God, please...please... let it end. Let it end, please? Please, just let it end.
Please... no more...
/Please God, please...Let it end, GOD HELP ME!!/
'/Please God, LET ME DIE!!!/'
'It won't end, it won't end.....'
'Life is cruel.'
Hisoka curled in on himself, he felt his body fall, yet he was barely aware of even that.
It was the same as before. It was like watching it all over again. Was god deaf? Why? Couldn't
he hear them crying? Couldn't he hear them screaming?!?
'So cold...,' His body felt like it was being chilled by the very blood that ran through
his vains, like ice had replaced it. It was getting harder to breath. Feelings not his own,
mixed with his.
/I'm here.../
Hisoka thought he heard a distant sound, but he couldn't make it out. Emotions of fear,
pain, hate, anger, despair, and shame, pushed up against his mind, threatening to engulf him, deep
into their dark cores.
/I'll be here... always/
There was another sound, not so distant now. A new feeling besides pain, and despair broke
through. It was desperate at first, then it softened.
/Even if you never return, I'll wait... I promise I'll wait.../
Warm. There was a warm light that pushed into him, chasing away the dark shadows. It
was so very warm, Hisoka relaxed into it, and closed his eyes.
/I'll wait, till after forever..../
It was so very warm, Hisoka felt like he was melting into it. He welcomed it, and all
that it was. He grasped onto the warmth and held on tight. The light also seemed to embrace him
in kind, it was soothing. Was this what being held in the arms of a mother felt like, safe and
warm?
/Till the end of time..../
Hisoka let the light engulf him, letting himself slip away into it's warm soft embrace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rina flipped the page in her book. The sky had clouded suddenly today. That meant that
there would be no one outside to watch. It made her sad, and happy at the same time. She wanted
to see other peoples happiness, yet, she was starting to get very jealousy of that same happiness
that she enjoyed to see in others. It was okay though, the book was good. It was about god's of
death who took people's souls when their time came. She lay her head on her hand and sighed.
'When will my god of death come for me?'
Rina was ripped from her thought's as a the nurse was having a raised argument with a man
outside of the room. She strained her ear's at first to hear, but that wasn't nessisary, as the
door was soon thrown open. A tall man with chocolate hair stood tall in it's frame. He had
the most beautiful purple eyes...
'that's an odd color.'
"Hisoka?!" The man's rich voice was filled with worry as he rushed to the bed across from
Rina's own. The boy, 'Hisoka'?, who lay there, had been brought in earlier this morning. He
hadn't stirred since then though. One Nurse said that it was just exhaustion, and he should
be fine in a few hours. They placed him on an IV drip to keep him hydrogenated, but that was all.
"Wa~hhh!! Hisoka, you gotta wake up!!" The man was practically shaking the blond, or
would have been had the nurse not pulled him off the boy.
"Sir! I TOLD you, you can't come in here till he's rested properly!"
"B-but, I--!!"
"Are you family?"
"Well, no but..."
"Then you can't come in here yet. I'll get you when he wakes up, but till' then, you
can't stay in here!" They're eyes locked, and they seem to be doing a staring contest, or some
test of wills. To Rina, this was entertaining, but...
"Michiko-san?"
"Huh?" Both of their eye's turn to Rina, and she wanted to laugh at their blank
expressions. Neither one of them had noticed her till now.
"Michiko-san," She begin again, giving the nurse her most sad smile, one she'd gotten
good with when it meant not eating that horrid green jell-o they serve, "is it okay if he stays
to talk with me then? I'm lonely, and that way, when his friend wakes, he can see him... right?"
"Huh... Well," Rina could tell she was trying to come up with a reason to deny the
request, so she just turn up the sad look a few notches.
"Please...?" Big pleading eye's always worked really well.
"Well, okay, fine. It's better then him making that racket all day long!" The nurse gives
the man one last good glare, then turns and leaves the room.
"Ahh, Thank you so much miss." The man bowed to Rina, who only laughed lightly at his
actions.
"No it's all right. I was starting to think I'd be board to death in this place." That
wasn't too far from the truth, she indulged that silent thought dryly. She carefully lifted her
hand and indicated to the chair next to her. "Would it be okay, if I talked with you a little
bit?"
"Oh! Sure, of course!" The man smiled warmly as he took the offered seat. "My name is
Tsuzuki, Asato, pleased to meet you." He did a slight bow, to his very formal greeting. It had
been so long since Rina had meet someone new, someone who didn't have their name pinned to their
uniform, it took her a little by surprise.
"O-oh," Returning a greeting was also something she had not done in a very long time. It
made her feel like a child again, learning the basics all over. "My name is Ito, Rina. Pleased
to meet you." She nervously returned the same greeting to him.
"So... what are you reading?"
"Oh, this? It's a manga a friend lent me,"
"Is it good?"
"Yes, it's very interesting." She showed the cover to him and let him read the title.
"I'm not so great at reading." He gave her a sheepish, but true reply.
"I wasn't either, but not much else I can do now." Rina's eye's turned downward. Sadness
filling in their inky depths. Tsuzuki must have seen this because his smile went up a few watts
as he changed the subject.
"Do you want to know what I'm good at though?"
"Yes, what?"
"COOKING!! I LOVE to cook! I love food, but most of all, I love sweet things."
"Like candy?"
"Yeah! All kinds of candies, cookies, pie, pastries, cakes, puddings..." Tsuzuki was
now using his fingers to count off the different confections he liked, and the list just kept on
growing.
It was... exciting for some reason. Like learning to speak for a second time. She
talked with this man Tsuzuki for nearly over an hour. Basic questions, ones that she would
return to him. It was so simple, but it was so much more then that. It made her smile. It made
her laugh. It made her feel more in that short talk then she had felt in all of five years.
She felt like she was alive again. A feeling she had forgotten a long time ago.
..............TBC
*********************************
My little note's-you-can-skip-over-if-you-don't-wanna-read-this-crappy-kinda-stuff....
Oh, a cliff hanger?? Not really... well, Hisoka IS unconscious, and Rina, the OC is
having a grand ol' talk with Tsuzuki...
(even I'M glaring at her. Paws off kid, he's Hisoka's, WHETHER HISOKA LIKES IT OR NOT!!)
Tenshiamanda, I know you wanted to know how I was going to do the GuShoShin, and....
hehe, well, next chapter you find out ^_-# I've planned to put almost EVERY cast member into
this story.
Poor Tsuzuki!!! Sorry folks, but happy Tsuzuki was just a facade. Like the description
says, he's dyeing inside. I'm sorry I'm doing this to him, really!!
so far, everyone is quoting EVERYONE!! hehe, yeah I ment to do that. Also, did anyone
else think Tsuzuki was like the rabbit from 'Alice in Wonderland' in the last chapter? I kept
thinking that over and over again.
The title for this story was taken from a poem I really like, and it fit with the last
part so, what the heck, right?
And we all know what manga Rina is reading, right? RIGHT?? I hope so, if not, take a wild
guess and I'll be you'll be right. (just WHY did I put that in there?)
AGAIN PLZ TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK #^_^#
All C&C welcome and help me update as fast as I can type!
story all belong to Yoko Matsushita.
WARNINGS: Same warning as before, the rating will go up maybe later, but for right now it's all
thanks to violence and language. Flying OOC'ness in characters, but it's an AU, so that can't
be helped right?...hehe..heh...*cough*!
PAIRINGS: TsuxSoka, and I finally get to dabble a little more in this area (hehe!)
POV warnings, the point of view will change sometimes at the scene changes, hope it's not too
confusing, but it's hard to use a Tsuzuki first person when he's not even in the scene, ne?
Also, '..' is thoughts and /../ is a memory, okay?
..........................................................................................
My World of Strawberries and Cream.
When I was a Child, I Spoke as Child
We made it to Nagasaki.
I'm more shocked That I made it in one piece. My head was still pounding, well, at least
the ringing has stopped in my ears. Did I mention that Hisoka's empathy is enhanced by touch?
Well, that's probably because I didn't know! Did I also mention that Hisoka has a good right hook
as well? I rub my hand over the sore spot on my head.
It wasn't such a big thing, just me trying to be friendly.
"Would you stop moping already?" Hisoka's voice was it's usual cold tone, with just a hint
of irritation mixed in. Hmm, that sounds like baking...
"What's with you??" Hisoka does a complete turn to stop right in front of me. I back
step once, just so I don't bump into him. His eye's are fierce, and seem to be burning with an
unasked question.
"With me? What do you mean?" His finger flys to the center of my forehead, stopping
just a few centimeters short of touching me. This is making me feel cross eyed right now.
"You, in here. You're thoughts...They're all over the place! Can't you get it a little
bit more together up there?"
"That's an odd request."
'Did I just say that out loud?'
"F-O-C-U-S, or, are you unable to do that?"
"Uhh...Maybe." My smile out in full force, and he just lookes at me like I'm a-
"Baka!" Whipping back around, he continues the trek to the hotel Tatsumi set us up in.
I can't help but chuckle. What I said, it's true. I can't focus my thoughts, to do so would
mean that I would have to start thinking about them. That's what I can't do. The only reason
I can smile like this now, the only reason I've been able to stay with the NSF, is that I haven't
let myself think about anything for too long. If I thought about anything, then I'd have to think
about everything eventually. But, as I've already said, there's no way I'm going to start any
kind of thinking that will bring up memories from before. I won't do it. Unfortunately, this job
isn't quite one that has things that don't constantly relate to back then. Maybe that's why I
come off as such an air head...
Oh well, best not to dwell on it.
Hisoka has stopped in front of me again. I give my questioning smile, but the look he is
giving me, isn't softened by my fake smile. He just stares at me, with a look... I truly can't
read. As if he finally has reached a conclusion, his look becomes a distant one, he turns away
from me again. I barely here the words pass from his lips, which is a feat considering my
enhanced hearing.
"How odd..."
I blink at him a few times before I place the words off as just having been my imagination.
We arrive at the hotel, and I handle the work at the front desk. I smile at the lady there, and
she blushes and begins to flirt with me. Well, at least my smile hasn't lost it's power! Hisoka
just seems to be immune to it... hmm, must work on that. Actually, I just want to see that blush
again.
I turn around with the hotel key's in hand, and am greeted by a fist to my face. Falling
down and clutching my jaw, my eye's fall onto my aggressor. Hisoka is shaking out his hand, his
face stuck in that same scowl as before, except, much to my delight, crimson is staining his
cheeks.
'Oh yeah, he can read thoughts...' I give a nervous laugh. Well, it looks like I'm going
to have to work on keeping that mental shield up better.
"Oh, SIR!!" The woman rushes out from behind the desk to give me a hand up. "Are you
okay?! What's the matter with you?!" She turns from concerned to angry in less then five seconds,
her questions directed at Hisoka who just looks more pissed then before.
"No, no!" I place a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Really, I had that coming. Thank you
for your concern, but really it's okay!"
"Oh...," She looks down then at Hisoka, then back at me, then at Hisoka again. It looks
like the wheels in her head must have been turning, because now her face is beet red and her jaw
has dropped. I was kind of shocked thought when her next statement wasn't directed at me, but at
my partner.
"I'm SO sorry!"
"Huh??" Hisoka has backed up a few steps to keep the distance between him and the advancing
desk clerk. "Wha-what are you talking about?"
"Well, it's just," Her blush deepens a little as she looks at Hisoka, who is now doing
his best to make sure she doesn't touch him. "If I had known, that he was, that you were... Oh,
well I never would have..." She does a quick bow to Hisoka, then quickly turns back on me.
Reflexively my arms jump up. She reaches out and snatches the key to our room back from my hand.
"I'll make it up to you," She goes back behind the desk and gives me a new key and room number.
"Here, don't worry about a thing, just enjoy your stay. I'm giving you the same rate, okay?"
There's an odd smile that is pushing on her lips and I have to say...It's kind of scary!
"Wait, just what-"
"Thank you very much miss," I bow and cut off Hisoka. Quickly I pull him out of the
lobby, and away from the crowd we were attracting. Upon turning down the hall and entering the
elevator I heave a sigh of relief.
"What's the big idea?!" Hisoka glares at me, or more like the hand I still have on his
arm. I quickly realize my folly and remove said offending hand.
"We were attracting a crowd," I calmly try to explain to him. "We need to work discretely,
and, incase you didn't notice, that was NOT discrete."
"B-but she--!!" I raise my hand to cut him off.
"Look, we're partners, but I'm also the one who is calling the shots here. After all,
this is your first mission, isn't it?" He looks like he's about to protest, then he looks away,
anger fully permeating the air around him.
Personal note of things not to do, do NOT make Hisoka angry.
We make our way to the room and I open the door, and my jaw drops. The room is lavishly
decorated, deep red curtains, embroidered rugs, and beautifully engraved wood furniture. That was
all well and good, but the thing that made me choke was the bed. A single heart shaped bed.
"It's the honeymoon suite..."
"That's what I was TRYING to tell you. Baka!"
"Wait, then that means... She thought...and..." I can feel heat rising to my face.
Ohhh, this is going to be the biggest joke at HQ! We'll never live this down! However, I move
into the room, finding a strange heart shaped red box on the bed. 'Belgian Chocolates' Compliments
of the staff. "This might not be so bad, after all with a bed like this...," I smile as I look
down at the treats in fornt of me, dropping the luggage down on the floor.
"WHAT?!?" Hisoka looks like he's having a coronary at my words. I lift up the chocolates
and smile fully at him.
"Look! They're free!!"
"...."
"What?"
"...."
"What?? Hey, you can't go out alone. Hey WAIT!!" Snatching up my coat and the case file,
I chase after my partner.
'Really, what's so bad about chocolates?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hontoni baka," Hisoka quickly made his way out of the lobby doors, ignoring the grin
the lady at the front desk was directing his way. So, she thought him and that baka were...
an 'item'?? Shoving his hands into his pockets he trudged up the street. It wasn't like Tsuzuki
was an bad guy or anything, but... he was such an IDIOT! Hisoka hadn't barley even met the man
and already formed this opinion of his unwanted 'partner'. He breathed out, releasing a breath
he didn't know he was holding. There was also something different about this guy too. There was
something that set him out from every person he'd ever met. It was so ODD, and for all his
abilities he couldn't put his finger quite on what it was, and that was bugging him. There was
something almost so...innocent about the guy. Yet, he was working for an organization like this?
Hisoka new what the NSF was all about. When they came for him, he hadn't fought, but listened and
agreed to join them. His reasons for such were, well, his reasons were his reasons. He knew why
he was here, but someone who had that pure look in their eyes? Such a sad and troubled soul, too.
He had thought his partner would have been someone more like that man he had met earlier, what was
his name, 'Tatsumi'? He was thrown for a new one when he realized his partner was more of an
idiotic child, then a cool professional.
"Hisoka!"
"And he's so DENSE!"
"Hey, Hisoka, where are you going?" The annoying man came running up to him. Hisoka hoped
to distance himself from this guy, but it didn't seem to be working, now did it?
"Well I WAS going someplace where you weren't, but I guess I can't do that now, can I?"
Hisoka took inventory of the harsh words effects on the other man. He stopped. Looked puzzled,
maybe even a little hurt, but then, he smiled at him. He SMILED. Hisoka was an empath. He could
feel the effects his harsh words and glares had on the man. Tsuzuki was hurt by each one, then,
instead of looking hurt, instead of getting angry, he just smiled at Hisoka, as if it was okay
that he was a jerk to him.
Yes, Hisoka knew he was being a jerk to the older man. Yet taking others feelings into
account was never something he did before. Why bother? Everyone either turned to disliking him,
or leaving him alone. His personality sure didn't leave much middle ground. This Tsuzuki though,
somehow FOUND that middle ground, because, here he was again, smiling at him again. Hisoka reached
out with his empathy, just enough to graze the top of his mind. There was confusion, anxiety,
and even... what? was that fondness? Is that what that was? This man wasn't frustrated, irritated,
didn't hate him yet?! He was trying really hard to be cold to this guy, which wasn't such a far
from normal treatment most of the time to people in general, but this guy was immune to it!!
Hisoka's brow twisted slightly. It was irritating.
Time to redouble the efforts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally! I stop in front of Hisoka, catching my breath. He walks pretty fast.
"Hey, Hisoka, where are you going?"
"Well I WAS going someplace where you weren't, but I guess I can't do that now, can I?"
Well, how can one reply to something like that? Hisoka is looking at me as if he's trying to
decide something. He's been doing that a lot. I smile at him, it's kinda nice to see him when
he's trying so hard to figure out something. He's eye's turn hard with resolution and he quickly
turns away from me.
"We're only partners for this one case," his eye's are cold as jade as he turns his face
to me, "I want to finish this case as soon as possible. I have no interest in working with such
a fool longer then I have to." Those last words, he spits them out, like they were bitter on his
tongue. That was harsh. It makes sense though, he doesn't want to work with me at all anyway,
so, of course he wants to end this case, and get away from such a baka partner.
'Of course no one wants an idiot for a partner.'
A smile. A nod. Words from me to him. Yes, it's fine. He turns to head toward the
murder site, I think that's where we are going, right? It's fine. My hand is in my pocket, there's
something there. I pull out a package of the taffies, strawberries and cream. I pop one of the
candies in my mouth. Yes it's fine, it's okay, no one ever stays. I didn't expect him to either.
So, why does it seem to hurt?
When did I start to hope he would stay?
My tongue rolls the candy over in my mouth. The flavors are all there, strawberries and
heavy milk, a rich cream. It's all there. The warm flavor. Something's wrong though.
Why won't it work?
The flavors are bland on my tongue, the warm leaves a cold trail. I spite the
candy out, it's starting to make me feel more nauseous then good. That's never happened before,
has it? No, that's no good! Don't think about before now. Don't think about anything.
It's fine.
It's okay if I'm not needed.
After all, 'the world doesn't need a monster like me'.
So, I'll smile, then no one will ask what's wrong. I'll smile, and everyone will ignore
me. I'll smile, and fade into nothing. I'll smile, until I die. Yes, that's a good plan. I
wonder when that will be?
I wonder how much longer I'll have to wait, till my body stops betraying me. Till it stops
forcing me to live.
Oh, Hisoka has stopped. It's the ally I guess, there's police tape everywhere. To die...
I wonder what that's like? This was no way for any human to die. It's too sad. Her blood, you
can still see where the circle was drawn using her blood. It's not right. For any human to die
in such a way....
Life is cruel.
"What?" Hisoka turns to me. I smile as I check my mental shielding. It's still going
strong. Getting used to having it up all the time, not so hard. Hisoka looks to the side a
little, his expression softens for the first time since I first met him.
"What?" He repeats himself again, his tone is softer, almost...what?
"It's just... it's not right, for any human to die this way." I run my hand over one
of the red marks left in the ground. I can feel the hum as the energy left there responds to my
touch. It glows just a little, flickering a red light. "It's not right."
"How did you...?" His gaze is fixed on the dissipating light that fades when I remove my
hand.
"What?" I sound like a parrot, imitating his question before.
"Just now, how did you...?" He finally looks up to my eyes, he almost looks...scared?
"Oh," I give my signature smile. "They didn't tell you about me?" I keep my smile on,
keep up the face. He really doesn't know? Well, I guess no one felt he needed to know, but, he
seems smart enough. Looks like he could have figured it out, given time. Oh well, it's our
'only case together' isn't it? He can't possible hate me more than he does now, but even if he
did, it's fine.
"I'm a monster."
Yes, it's fine.
"Monster?" There's that unreadable expression on his face again. I can't take this any
more. Diversionary tactic; the case.
"Can you tell me anything?"
"Huh?" Bull's eye.
"Well, with you're empathy. I really don't know how it works too well," I look around
the scene, taking in the whole layout of the area. "Can you get anything that might help from
this area?"
"Ye-...y-yes, I might be able to," He stutters a little, "the area is projecting strongly.
It shouldn't be hard to pick-up something from here." He's eye's are nervously skittering over
the ally.
"What's wrong?"
"NOTHING!" O~kay, so I don't know a lot, but it defiantly doesn't seem like nothing.
He looks frightened, and failing at trying to hide it. It's kinda hard to miss it when someone
is shaking like a leaf.
Is it what I said?
"I can do it..." He seems to whisper slightly to himself. It's taking all his will to
do... Whatever he's trying to do!
"Hey, Hisoka, it's okay," Well, I don't know what's okay, but it seems like he's scared
to use his powers. If THAT'S the problem, then it's fine if he doesn't, especially if it's going
to shake him up this bad! I get up to move toward him, but I feel a light surge of energy pushing
at me. The wind in the ally picks up a bit, or it seems to at first. That is, till I realize
that the source seems to be Hisoka. His eye's seem to glow slightly, and then he's mouth opens.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!"
Scream, a blood chilling scream. I try and push through the wind to him, but the force
only seems to grow stronger the more I press forward. I think I'm calling his name, but I can't
hear anything but that scream now. I push forward again, using all my strength. The ground gives
way a little underneath my feet, but I keep pressing forward. Hisoka's hands have gone up to his
head, cradling it, but he's still screaming. He falls to his knees, but he still keeps screaming.
Somehow I reach him. I try calling him again, but I can't even hear my own voice. I
hesitantly place my hands on him. He doesn't stop screaming, he won't even look at me. His face
is twisted in horror, on his face is the visage of fear it's self. I try shaking him, but it's
like I'm not even here. I don't know what to do!
/I'm here.../
I don't know what to do. The only thing I know, is that someone did this for me once.
/I'll be here... always/
Slowly my arms wrap around his small frame. I place my head over his, I can smell the
sent of his blond hair. 'Sunflowers'.
/Even if you never return, I'll wait... I promise I'll wait.../
The scream's stop, and he collapses into my arms. I keep him held tightly. I look into
his face, he's passed out, but at least his face isn't twisted in that expression anymore.
/I'll wait, till after forever..../
Slowly, I carefully pick him up in my arms. I need to get him to a hospital. I take off,
running to the only hospital in the area I know of.
/Till the end of time..../
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ITHURTSITHURTS!PLEASESTOPEIT!!PLEASEWHYAREYOUDOINGTHISTOME?IHAVEN'TDONEANYTHINGWRONG!NODON'T
PLEASEDON'TDOTHAT!!NOTTHAT!!NONONONONONONONONONONO!GODPLEASEHELPME!GODPLEASE!PLEASE!PLEASE!!GOD
HELPME!!!!/
'It's hurts, it hurts! Please stope it!!'
/A small blade, slicing easily through my skin/
'Please why are you doing this to me? I haven't done anything wrong!'
/I can't move and blood is poring from my wounds. A hand. His hand is covered in
my blood. He's carving into my skin, he's carving into my flesh!!/
'Carving, he's carving into my body. Not again, not again!'
/I can't move, am I dead? So cold. What? Did he stop? What? N-no, not that...!
Please, not that!! Please God, HELP ME!!!/
'Why, why are you doing this to me? My life isn't enough? IT WASN'T ENOUGH?!?'
/GOD PLEASE! PLEASE!...please...!!/
'Please God, please...please... let it end. Let it end, please? Please, just let it end.
Please... no more...
/Please God, please...Let it end, GOD HELP ME!!/
'/Please God, LET ME DIE!!!/'
'It won't end, it won't end.....'
'Life is cruel.'
Hisoka curled in on himself, he felt his body fall, yet he was barely aware of even that.
It was the same as before. It was like watching it all over again. Was god deaf? Why? Couldn't
he hear them crying? Couldn't he hear them screaming?!?
'So cold...,' His body felt like it was being chilled by the very blood that ran through
his vains, like ice had replaced it. It was getting harder to breath. Feelings not his own,
mixed with his.
/I'm here.../
Hisoka thought he heard a distant sound, but he couldn't make it out. Emotions of fear,
pain, hate, anger, despair, and shame, pushed up against his mind, threatening to engulf him, deep
into their dark cores.
/I'll be here... always/
There was another sound, not so distant now. A new feeling besides pain, and despair broke
through. It was desperate at first, then it softened.
/Even if you never return, I'll wait... I promise I'll wait.../
Warm. There was a warm light that pushed into him, chasing away the dark shadows. It
was so very warm, Hisoka relaxed into it, and closed his eyes.
/I'll wait, till after forever..../
It was so very warm, Hisoka felt like he was melting into it. He welcomed it, and all
that it was. He grasped onto the warmth and held on tight. The light also seemed to embrace him
in kind, it was soothing. Was this what being held in the arms of a mother felt like, safe and
warm?
/Till the end of time..../
Hisoka let the light engulf him, letting himself slip away into it's warm soft embrace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rina flipped the page in her book. The sky had clouded suddenly today. That meant that
there would be no one outside to watch. It made her sad, and happy at the same time. She wanted
to see other peoples happiness, yet, she was starting to get very jealousy of that same happiness
that she enjoyed to see in others. It was okay though, the book was good. It was about god's of
death who took people's souls when their time came. She lay her head on her hand and sighed.
'When will my god of death come for me?'
Rina was ripped from her thought's as a the nurse was having a raised argument with a man
outside of the room. She strained her ear's at first to hear, but that wasn't nessisary, as the
door was soon thrown open. A tall man with chocolate hair stood tall in it's frame. He had
the most beautiful purple eyes...
'that's an odd color.'
"Hisoka?!" The man's rich voice was filled with worry as he rushed to the bed across from
Rina's own. The boy, 'Hisoka'?, who lay there, had been brought in earlier this morning. He
hadn't stirred since then though. One Nurse said that it was just exhaustion, and he should
be fine in a few hours. They placed him on an IV drip to keep him hydrogenated, but that was all.
"Wa~hhh!! Hisoka, you gotta wake up!!" The man was practically shaking the blond, or
would have been had the nurse not pulled him off the boy.
"Sir! I TOLD you, you can't come in here till he's rested properly!"
"B-but, I--!!"
"Are you family?"
"Well, no but..."
"Then you can't come in here yet. I'll get you when he wakes up, but till' then, you
can't stay in here!" They're eyes locked, and they seem to be doing a staring contest, or some
test of wills. To Rina, this was entertaining, but...
"Michiko-san?"
"Huh?" Both of their eye's turn to Rina, and she wanted to laugh at their blank
expressions. Neither one of them had noticed her till now.
"Michiko-san," She begin again, giving the nurse her most sad smile, one she'd gotten
good with when it meant not eating that horrid green jell-o they serve, "is it okay if he stays
to talk with me then? I'm lonely, and that way, when his friend wakes, he can see him... right?"
"Huh... Well," Rina could tell she was trying to come up with a reason to deny the
request, so she just turn up the sad look a few notches.
"Please...?" Big pleading eye's always worked really well.
"Well, okay, fine. It's better then him making that racket all day long!" The nurse gives
the man one last good glare, then turns and leaves the room.
"Ahh, Thank you so much miss." The man bowed to Rina, who only laughed lightly at his
actions.
"No it's all right. I was starting to think I'd be board to death in this place." That
wasn't too far from the truth, she indulged that silent thought dryly. She carefully lifted her
hand and indicated to the chair next to her. "Would it be okay, if I talked with you a little
bit?"
"Oh! Sure, of course!" The man smiled warmly as he took the offered seat. "My name is
Tsuzuki, Asato, pleased to meet you." He did a slight bow, to his very formal greeting. It had
been so long since Rina had meet someone new, someone who didn't have their name pinned to their
uniform, it took her a little by surprise.
"O-oh," Returning a greeting was also something she had not done in a very long time. It
made her feel like a child again, learning the basics all over. "My name is Ito, Rina. Pleased
to meet you." She nervously returned the same greeting to him.
"So... what are you reading?"
"Oh, this? It's a manga a friend lent me,"
"Is it good?"
"Yes, it's very interesting." She showed the cover to him and let him read the title.
"I'm not so great at reading." He gave her a sheepish, but true reply.
"I wasn't either, but not much else I can do now." Rina's eye's turned downward. Sadness
filling in their inky depths. Tsuzuki must have seen this because his smile went up a few watts
as he changed the subject.
"Do you want to know what I'm good at though?"
"Yes, what?"
"COOKING!! I LOVE to cook! I love food, but most of all, I love sweet things."
"Like candy?"
"Yeah! All kinds of candies, cookies, pie, pastries, cakes, puddings..." Tsuzuki was
now using his fingers to count off the different confections he liked, and the list just kept on
growing.
It was... exciting for some reason. Like learning to speak for a second time. She
talked with this man Tsuzuki for nearly over an hour. Basic questions, ones that she would
return to him. It was so simple, but it was so much more then that. It made her smile. It made
her laugh. It made her feel more in that short talk then she had felt in all of five years.
She felt like she was alive again. A feeling she had forgotten a long time ago.
..............TBC
*********************************
My little note's-you-can-skip-over-if-you-don't-wanna-read-this-crappy-kinda-stuff....
Oh, a cliff hanger?? Not really... well, Hisoka IS unconscious, and Rina, the OC is
having a grand ol' talk with Tsuzuki...
(even I'M glaring at her. Paws off kid, he's Hisoka's, WHETHER HISOKA LIKES IT OR NOT!!)
Tenshiamanda, I know you wanted to know how I was going to do the GuShoShin, and....
hehe, well, next chapter you find out ^_-# I've planned to put almost EVERY cast member into
this story.
Poor Tsuzuki!!! Sorry folks, but happy Tsuzuki was just a facade. Like the description
says, he's dyeing inside. I'm sorry I'm doing this to him, really!!
so far, everyone is quoting EVERYONE!! hehe, yeah I ment to do that. Also, did anyone
else think Tsuzuki was like the rabbit from 'Alice in Wonderland' in the last chapter? I kept
thinking that over and over again.
The title for this story was taken from a poem I really like, and it fit with the last
part so, what the heck, right?
And we all know what manga Rina is reading, right? RIGHT?? I hope so, if not, take a wild
guess and I'll be you'll be right. (just WHY did I put that in there?)
AGAIN PLZ TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK #^_^#
All C&C welcome and help me update as fast as I can type!