I OWN NOTHING

September 12, 2022.

It just had to be Monday. And of course, it had to be a rainy day.

David Rossi twisted his face. He certainly was someone else. Even the day of his funeral had to be something out of the ordinary.

He had always been very Catholic, despite what people thought about him. His grandfather read the Bible to him every night of every summer day. When Vittorio died, his son Luca took over the baton.

His grandmother was a typical Italian lady, she was just as burly as loving. And she was just as loving as she was shouty, too.

How could he forget when every Sunday she woke him up for Mass. And although the teenage David remembered it as a nuisance, Agent David Rossi was grateful that his family had instilled so much faith in him.

At times, his faith was what made him think that justice existed. You could dodge earthly justice, but there would always be a divine justice from which it was impossible to escape.

He had tried to be a honest righteous man, collaborating so that evil people would get what they deserved.

His life had not been the most exemplary but nevertheless, he sincerely believed that he had earned heaven.

Apparently, he was dead wrong.

Or maybe his life had been much more honorable than he thought. And that was why he was witnessing his own funeral.

He walked among the guests.

What Dave really wanted to do it was to see himself. But coffin was closed and that annoying guy kept following him around, making sure he didn't communicate with anyone or change anything at all.

"Mr. Rossi, you should stop gossiping about who has come to your funeral and who hasn't."

"Shut up" he interrupted, in a curt voice "This is my grandson talking."

The other man put his black glasses on tightly as he slowly shook his head.

That man was too stubborn for his own good.

"I don't know if you are really aware of what is going on." he pointed, placing himself next to the recently buried "You have a few tasks to complete before you receive your wings."

Dave looked him up and down with a slight sneer.

"Listen, I don't think my life has been exemplary but-"

"It wasn't."

He narrowed his eyes, annoyed at the man who seemed to look at him with moral superiority. That kid didn't know how much it bothered David Rossi when someone interrupted him.

"Who in the hell are you?"

"No swear words, please" He whispered, holding back a smile. "I'm Chidi. My soul mate is on the good side by mistake. I knew it and yet, I helped her to stay there. Now I need to bring a soul to the good side so she can stay with me."

Dave looked at him dumbfounded. What kind of craziness was that all about? Maybe he wasn't really dead. Maybe he was just in a coma and it was all just a transitory hallucination.

He looked back at the cemetery. Everyone had already left.

Maybe that was the result of a high dose of medicine, but it felt too real.

"I don't even remember how I died."

"You had a heart attack."

That didn't surprise him at all. His heart had been delicate for years and his diet was as unbalanced as ever. Well, at least he always lived the way he wanted to.

Chidi placed a comforting hand on his back. He was beginning to feel bad for that sarcastic grumbling man. Deep down, he seemed like a very nice person.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"You have to balance your mistakes. You had three divorces. You broke three hearts, so you have to fix three others. You were an absent father-"

"I didn't know I had a daughter. And as soon as I found out, I fixed it" he interrupted offended "What kind of mistake is that?"

Chidi shrugged.

"If you had been a good husband, that wouldn't have happened to you. It's your mistake."

"What a nonsense" he whispered between his teeth "And what am I supposed to do? Have another child?"

The other man's face twisted as he shook his head. "That's physically impossible. What you have to do is mediate between a dad and his teenage son. They have a pretty major problem."

"Can you give me any more hints?"

Chidi nodded as he made a small notebook appear with a snap of his fingers.

He read for a few seconds about those lives that needed a path to happiness.

"Here's a divorced father sinking into misery, a woman unhappy with her marriage and a boy with a drug addiction problem. They all need a talk from you."

"What a joy..."

Chidi put his hands on the man's shoulders.

"It's not that hard. You just have to teach them that life goes by too fast. It's an obligation to be happy."

Dave let out a big sigh. Things were looking bad. But his brain was still functioning at 100% and his profiling skills were still intact. Yes, maybe it was a difficult job. But not impossible. And that would be an epic farewell.

"Can we start now?"

Chidi smiled broadly and snapped his fingers. "Good luck, gentleman."