Author's Note: Others own the Hogan's Heroes and Doctor Who characters. All others are my creations. Please don't use them without my permission.
Who Goes There? Part 5
By Diane Maher
Inside the Rani's TARDIS, Hogan listened as the Doctor tried to persuade her not to give the secret of cloning humans to the Nazis. The Rani wasn't going to change her mind; Hogan knew that just by watching her body language and listening to her.
She had the same cold, calculating look that several of the Gestapo officers who had found out about his unit had. He was fortunate that they had been more interested in either money or personal glory. Their shortcomings had allowed him to come up with plans in time to thwart their ambitions. The Rani was only interested in revenge, plain and simple. That made things different and more dangerous.
Hogan listened in amazement as these two aliens spoke and was amazed. Other thoughts began going through his mind regarding his own future and suddenly, he realized that he might not have a future if this megalomaniac woman were to pull off her insane plan.
"Compared to the technology on
Gallifrey, this equipment is in the Stone Age.
However, if Hitler's scientists are to use it, it must be made to
work. Perhaps you'll help me make it
work consistently, Doctor?"
"Never!" the Doctor exclaimed in an indignant tone.
"Too bad," the Rani said. "I was hoping that you would be more cooperative. Perhaps this will persuade you." She pressed a button on a panel and gas flowed into the Master's cell.
"What are you doing to him?" the Doctor demanded.
The Rani shrugged nonchalantly. "I thought you two were sworn enemies."
"We are enemies, but to kill him." the Doctor replied.
The Rani's eyes rolled up towards the ceiling in exasperation. "You and your petty morals, Doctor! Why do you care about the Master or this insignificant planet? Surely you want vengeance against the Time Lords who condemned you and exiled you here?"
The Doctor glared at the Rani. "Vengeance is pointless! All I ever wanted was to see the universe and learn about what's out there. The Time Lords didn't want me to interfere with other cultures. How could I travel around the universe and not see the injustice that was going on? How could I not help? They need to come out of their blasted ivory tower."
"You're a bigger fool than the Master," the Rani said, her tone condescending. She turned and left the room.
"Wait! You mustn't...!" the Doctor cried out.
"She won't listen to you, Doctor," Hogan said.
"I know, but I had to try," the Doctor replied.
The Doctor said, "No wonder the Time Lords saw this. Not even they could ignore something this disastrous!"
The look on the Doctor's face belied the seriousness of the situation to Hogan. "This is probably what you were sent here to stop?" Hogan asked.
"Yes. I do believe you're right," the Doctor replied.
"What is cloning?" Carter asked, ever the scientist.
The Doctor replied, "Cloning is a process by which an organism can be duplicated with only a small sample of the original's DNA."
"In other words, a copy," Carter said.
"Yes. An exact copy of the original," the Doctor replied. "Imagine if she was to use this machine to make clones of Hitler himself. All he would need to do then would be to have the world leaders assassinated and his clones put in their places."
Carter and Hogan stared at the Doctor. They were mystified and very concerned at the same time. This was beyond anything either of them had ever experienced. "If the Rani is able to make her instrument work," Hogan said. "And then give it to the Nazis..."
"It could give Germany the ability to win the war with sheer manpower and then they could take over the Earth," the Doctor said. "That would be a complete catastrophe for Earth's future. We must get out of here. I don't suppose either of you has a diamond?"
Carter shook his head. "All I have are these magnesium pencils."
Hogan slowly pulled out the chain with his dog tags and took it over his head. The Doctor watched as Hogan showed him a ring that was on the chain. It had a diamond in the center. He looked at the expression on Hogan's face as he gave him the chain.
"Karla will never forgive me if I don't come looking for her after the war," Hogan said. "If we don't stop the Rani from giving the Nazis the secret of cloning, I probably won't live to see Karla again."
The Doctor nodded, took the ring and began cutting their way to freedom.
What will the Rani's next move be? Hogan wondered as the Doctor slowly cut their way out with the ring that Karla had given him. More importantly, how do we stop her?
Hogan looked at his watch, saw what time it was, and then asked, "Doctor, how long do you suppose it will take for us to get out of here?"
"It'll be a few hours or so. This is slow work," the Doctor replied without looking up.
"Colonel, we'll miss the morning roll call," Carter said.
"What happens if you do miss it?" the Doctor asked.
"If Klink notices, he will set the dogs loose, and there will be Germans all over the place looking for us," Hogan replied. "With me missing, there's really no way that he won't notice."
"I'm being as quick as I can old chap," the Doctor said.
"Old chap indeed," Hogan muttered. Carter smiled at the Doctor's comment.
Back at Stalag 13, the prisoners were preparing for morning roll call. Because Hogan and Carter were missing, Kinch went to Barracks 5 to speak to Blackman.
"Commander, Colonel Hogan is missing, along with Sergeant Carter," Kinch said.
"Were they out on a mission?" Blackman asked.
"No. Carter and LeBeau were the last ones to go out on a mission," Kinch replied.
Blackman considered how to deal with the missing prisoners. As he entered Barracks 2, he saw the Brigadier and Jo Grant consuming their meals and an idea hit him.
"Kinch, what would you say if we could replace Hogan and Carter during roll call?" Blackman asked. "I've decided to bluff our way through the morning roll call."
Kinch's brow furrowed for a moment until his gaze fell upon their futuristic visitors. He looked at Jo Grant and then at the Brigadier. "It's a long shot, but it's better than the alternative," Kinch replied.
"Brigadier, we need you and Miss Grant to help us," Blackman said.
"What can we do?" the Brigadier asked, mystified.
"We need the two of you to put on uniforms and fall out for roll call with us," Kinch replied.
"Why?" the Brigadier asked.
"Because Colonel Hogan and Carter are missing," Blackman replied.
"What happens if they're found missing?" Jo asked.
"Klink will clamp security down so tight that wherever Hogan and Carter are, they won't be able to get back into camp," Blackman replied.
"Will Miss Grant be in any danger?" the Brigadier asked.
Kinch replied, "As Carter stands in the back row next to me, I don't think she'll be in any danger. You will be in the front row of the prisoners and in more danger than Miss Grant."
"I can handle it. I just don't want her harmed," the Brigadier said.
"Because I'm a woman," Jo said. "I can take care of myself, Brigadier!"
"Miss Grant, we're in Nazi Germany, not 1971 England," the Brigadier said. "This is no place for a woman."
"Break it up, you two! Kinch, take them below and find them some uniforms so they look reasonably similar to Hogan and Carter," Blackman ordered.
"If the two of you will follow me, I'll get you sorted with the uniforms," Kinch said.
The Brigadier looked at Jo and said, "Let's go, Miss Grant."
Jo nodded, stood and followed Kinch down to the tunnel below. They went to a room that contained uniforms of all kinds. Kinch looked around, selected a few items, and handed them to Jo and the Brigadier. "Do you think you can wear these?" Kinch asked.
"Yes, of course," Jo replied. "I'll change in the TARDIS."
Kinch looked at his watch and said, "Don't be too long, we only have about fifteen minutes before roll call begins."
"I'll be as quick as I can," Jo said. "Will you remind me where the TARDIS is? It's bloody confusing down here." Kinch went with her and showed her the emergency tunnel where their ship was located.
A few minutes later, Kinch returned to the uniform room where the Brigadier was, and found he had already changed. He was about to return to the barracks, when the Brigadier asked, "Are you certain this will work? I look ridiculous in this antiquated uniform!"
A few minutes later, Jo returned and took in the Brigadier's appearance. "Brigadier, you look smashing!"
"Miss Grant, if you say one word about this to anyone," the Brigadier threatened.
"Never mind that now. We have to go back to the barracks," Kinch said.
Kinch brought the Brigadier and Jo Grant above dressed in uniforms such that they could pass for Hogan and Carter and they went into Hogan's quarters where Blackman was waiting.
"Commander, there's one more thing that has to be done before roll call," Kinch said, indicating his mustache.
"Oh yes, we have to shave off his mustache," Blackman said.
The Brigadier's eyes were wide as he protested, "I will not allow you to shave off my mustache!"
Blackman motioned for several of the men to sit the Brigadier in a chair, while LeBeau had some shaving cream all ready.
"Look here, mate, I understand that you don't want to lose your mustache, but we need to cover up the fact that Colonel Hogan is missing and Hogan doesn't have a mustache," Blackman said. "I will pull rank on you to save our skins."
"Oh come on Brigadier! It'll be fun. Besides, I've always wondered what you look like without the mustache!" Jo said with a conspiratorial wink.
"This isn't Halloween, Miss Grant!" the Brigadier replied. Any further conversation was not to be as one of the prisoners lathered his face with shaving cream. A few minutes later, the Brigadier was without a mustache.
Blackman said, "I guess that will have to do. What do you think, Kinch?"
Kinch replied, "I think that unless Klink wants to talk to him, that he will pass for Hogan at a glance. If Schultz says anything, I can handle him and laryngitis is a good excuse for Hogan not talking."
"What do we have to do?" the Brigadier asked.
"All you have to do is stand in front of Kinch and keep your mouth shut," Blackman replied.
"What happens if someone asks to speak to Hogan?" the Brigadier asked.
"Pray that it doesn't happen, or Kinch can say that you have laryngitis," Blackman replied. "Are you both clear about what you're to do?"
"We're to go out there, stand where Kinch tells us to and keep quiet," Jo replied.
"Right. Good luck," Blackman said.
A few minutes later, the prisoners fell out for the morning roll call. Kinch indicated where the Brigadier and Jo were to stand. He was glad that they were close to him. He watched as Schultz walked between the rows of men and counted.
Schultz paused and looked at him with a quizzical expression. "Kinch, what is going on here? That's neither Colonel Hogan nor Carter standing there."
"Take it easy, Schultz," Kinch said.
"I have to report this," Schultz said.
"It's your fault if there's anyone missing," Kinch said in an undertone.
Schultz closed his eyes and said, "Oohh! But I have to make a report."
"I guess you're all packed for the Russian front?" Kinch asked.
"Kinch!" Schultz whined quietly.
"REPORT!!!" Klink bellowed.
Schultz hastily moved in front of 'Hogan', saluted and reported, "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for!"
"Dismissed!" Klink replied.
The prisoners returned to the barracks. When the door closed, there was a collective sigh of relief from Hogan's crew.
"I can't believe that we got away with it!" Jo exclaimed. "You did a good job with that guard, Kinch."
Kinch shrugged. "Thanks. We're not out of the woods yet."
"What do you mean?" the Brigadier asked.
Jo replied, "He means that we need to find Hogan and Carter. You don't suppose they're with the Doctor?"
"He's missing too?" Kinch asked.
"Yes," Jo replied.
The door opened and Blackman came into the barracks. "I see that you made it through the morning roll call without incident. Does anyone know where Hogan and Carter might be?"
LeBeau spoke up, "I think I might."
"Why didn't you say so before?" Kinch demanded.
"I didn't think that it was related until I heard that the Doctor was missing too," LeBeau replied. He then recounted what he and Carter had seen at the statue.
"It sounds like you found another TARDIS," Jo said.
"Carter probably told Hogan this story and they must have gone to see the Doctor," Blackman said.
"The Doctor must have wanted to see the statue and Hogan and Carter went with him," LeBeau said.
"Another TARDIS can mean only one thing," the Brigadier said.
"The Master!" Jo exclaimed. "He's probably captured them and is holding them inside his TARDIS."
"LeBeau, you said that you saw a woman, right?" Blackman asked. LeBeau nodded. "Please describe her."
"She's tall, thin, with brown hair and dark eyes," LeBeau said.
"The Master must have hypnotized her and she is being forced to do things for him," Jo said.
"She didn't seem to be hypnotized when we saw her," LeBeau commented.
"How would you know?" Blackman asked. "Have you ever seen anyone who was hypnotized?"
"No," LeBeau replied.
"Gestapo is going into Klink's office," Newkirk said.
Blackman, Hogan's crew, Jo and the Brigadier all went into Hogan's office. Kinch pulled out a coffeepot and placed it on the table.
"Surely you're not going to take a coffee break now!" the Brigadier exclaimed.
Kinch plugged in the pot, pulled out the basket and a minute later, the voice of Klink and his guest were heard.
"What can I do for you, Major Bachman?" Klink asked. "Would you care for some refreshment?"
"I need for you to arrange a demonstration of my project to Hitler," Major Bachman replied. "I will have a drink, thank you."
"The Führer?" Klink asked in awe as he poured her a drink.
"Yes. It is a top secret project and he needs to come here in person," the Major replied as she sipped the schnapps Klink handed to her.
"I'll see what I can do. Um, what is the project?" Klink asked.
"It involves the cloning of human beings," the Major replied.
"The what?" Klink asked, mystified.
"Cloning could be described as a duplicating machine for humans," Major Bachman replied.
"Where will this demonstration take place?" Klink asked.
"I will need to borrow one of your buildings here. I only have a limited amount of time in my current location and I will need to bring things here quickly," the Major replied.
"Oh, I see. I'll give you one of our barracks here," Klink said. "Will one of the barracks be large enough to accommodate your project?"
"Yes, I believe they are. I shall return to my lab and make preparations for the move. I will need to borrow a truck to get everything here," the Major said.
"That can be arranged, and I can have some men come help with the moving, if you would like," Klink replied.
"Thank you, Colonel Klink. Please have the space prepared by the day after tomorrow," the Major said.
Across the compound in Hogan's quarters, Jo and the Brigadier looked at each other and then at the faces of the assembled men who were watching them for a reaction.
Blackman asked, "I don't understand. How is this cloning done? Do either of you know?"
"No," Jo replied.
"The Doctor is our scientific advisor and would know," the Brigadier added.
"He's not here, so I suppose we're on our own," Blackman said.
"What can we do about this cloning machine?" Kinch asked.
Blackman finished putting away the coffee pot, opened the window and saw the car with the Gestapo flags drive out of camp.
"I don't know. That Gestapo major has left Stalag 13, so I presume that Klink will be making the arrangements soon." Blackman turned away from the window and said, "Kinch, I want you to intercept that call. Claim that the phone lines are down today and that they won't be repaired until tomorrow."
"Yes sir," Kinch replied.
"What happens then?" Jo asked.
"Hopefully, Colonel Hogan will be back by then. If he isn't, then we have bigger problems," Blackman replied.