Willow wasn't truly interested in Matthew. She didn't like the fact that he could take ownership of her, and that she couldn't show him how powerful she was. She despised his mother and his father made no sense to her. It was either in between meals when he played footsie or the permitting circumstances in their schedule that allowed them to meet for sex in the car. She no longer owned her body. The crevices and moist places on her body were tasted. They weren't happily tasted, but they were tasted. Suddenly Willow drew out a small dagger. The spell required Willow to kill herself. In doing so, she would be free and this 'mirage' would live her life, without her memories of Sunnydale just the lies she had been living. The blood began to leave the left wrist and Willow fell to the floor as the room went silent. All they saw, in Willow's place was nothing.
Xander knew it was wrong. He knew it hurt. But he became addicted to tattoos. He had a Mohawk now, with jeans cut by the knees and a shirt that read 'F--k me Hard'. He knew it was funny to no longer be preppy construction working Xander. He lost all sense of his own self. He now knew of only the troubles he could for see. Xander had acquired the gift to for tell the future. He wasn't any good. He just got a flash here and there. He knew Faith had been rushed to the Emergency Room dead, he knew Willow had become married to a guy. That was as much of a shock to him. He also knew of Giles settling down with a wife and a small adopted daughter. He hadn't tried nor wanted to see how Buffy was doing. Nor the A Team. He was fine where he was. Just staying at home eating pork rinds and scratching places you just don't, before eating. He was the same lethargic Xander, but now with a gift to see the lives and times of the Scoobies and beyond. What did Xander wanted more than anything? To be surprised. And with the gift he now had, he no longer knew of happiness.