Chapter 14

I skip the evening entertainment and get in a huge packing frenzy. Thankfully, I don't have too many things I planned on taking with me. My diaries (of course), necessary clothes, and correspondence, pretty much sum it all up.

The next morning passes in a whirl, I give instructions to the house staff for my absence, and with a teary farewell to Kitty and Lydia, I'm packed into the carriage along with Mr Darcy, Lizzie and Mr Gregory.

Lizzie and Mr Gregory sit next to each other, which means Mr Darcy and I are side by side. It's a bit uncomfortable at first (a carriage is not as large as a modern car, even though we aren't too cramped it's a bit of a squeeze), but eventually I get used to the fact our knees jostle each other from time to time.

Lizzie and Mr Gregory are whispering to each other, and despite the close quarters, the noise of the road means we have no hope of hearing them, unless they purposefully raise their voices.

So I'm left with Mr Darcy, who is resolutely looking out of his window. I'm reminded of our last conversation.

"Thank you for bringing me to London, Mr Darcy, despite our last conversation."

He turns to look at me, visibly startled I chose to speak.

"The horses were out already; it was no great effort on my part."

A pause. Mr Darcy's eyes dart to look out his window from time to time.

"How have you been? I hope you have enjoyed your Yule celebrations."

Another surprised look. "I have," he replies curtly. "My sister and her companion joined me in London. She is still there, in fact. She is not yet out, but would like to start getting a feel for a London season."

"That is a good idea. Does she have a friend or a cousin who could tell her what to expect?"

"I'm afraid not. Our family is well furnished in men, but sadly lacking in young women."

"It must be very different from my own," I snark.

I detect a hint of a smile from Mr Darcy's customary frown. Success!

"I would not venture a comment."

"Very politic of you, Mr Darcy."

Another pause. I guess we should address the elephant in the room.

"Mr Darcy, I wish to apologize for my behaviour last we met. I was… out of sorts. I remember you offering the hand of friendship, which I rebuffed. If you are still willing, I would be happy to count us friendly acquaintances."

Because, duh, once my head was cooled, of course I kicked myself for rejecting Mr Darcy's friendship. Maybe if I had he would have stayed and fallen for Lizzie. Or not. Probably not – I don't have that much influence. But I could have scratched the surface of the abrasive Mr Darcy, to see what lay beneath. Either way, I might as well get to know him now. It may have taken me a bit over a month to recover from the various slights (insulting me, telling me that I don't play well, generally frowning at everyone and everything), but after a while I got over it. He is proud, and certainly doesn't consider other's feelings enough when speaking, but the hard "Lizzie Bennet" way is perhaps a bit too harsh on the poor man. He did express interest in being my friend, despite (or maybe because of) my intention not to marry, and my general strangeness. That's a point for Mr Darcy, which Mr Gregory did not score. I realize now that I had set Mr Darcy up on a pedestal – no man could compete, so naturally the real Darcy disappointed me. And since my expectations were so high, I was only more disappointed. The last month might have been hard, but at least now I have let go of most of my preconceived notions from Pride and Prejudice.

Back to Mr Darcy, who is looking at me with an awkward smile. He's cute when he does that, almost boyish, despite how tall he is.

"Oh. Well, I must say – upon reflection, my own attitude was far from exemplary. I do not remember that first comment I made at you, but I know it was beneath me. I apologize. In my defense, I was somewhat out of sorts, myself, at the time. But I would like to be friends, yes."

"You have already apologized, and I forgive you. Let us agree we were both very rude to each other, but that we have moved on, and now we can forget that, and be civil."

"Very well. Thank you. Let us move to a lighter subject – your sister's wedding, yesterday. I thought it a very dignified affair, and between you and me, I have never seen Charles quite so happy."

"Oh, quite dignified. I'm glad the Misses Bingley were there – they rather raised the general stylishness of the event. And Jane was radiant. She is more reserved than my other sisters, so I was glad to see her so at ease in the crowd."

A whole discussion on weddings, matrimony, and naturally, my own wish not to marry, ensues.

"It's not that I am unable to form romantic attachments," I explain. "But more that I am unwilling to sacrifice my independence for what could be a passing fancy. What if I fall out of love with my husband? I'm stuck. And men in general do not want a wife such as I. I am too outspoken, too opinionated. I think too highly of myself to defer to any future husband always, as is asked in a marriage in this era. It is probably better for all concerned that I do not marry."

"It seems your mother is angry because your younger sisters have decided to follow in your footsteps. I confess I am surprised. They have never… behaved quite like you."

"Oh, I am pretty sure they do not wish to emulate me. They have found out on their own that young men are generally disappointing, although they do still enjoy fun as much as they ever did. They are still very young, and I cannot fault them their joyfulness. I would be sad if they were as staid and proper as their older sisters, I think."

"You Bennet girls are all very harsh upon men, I think. Besides, you cannot be not much older than them, surely. But you have always behaved perfectly."

"Your fishing will not get you my age; with two sisters married I really should not tell you. And your flattery shall get you nowhere – I can think of many times I have not behaved as I should, so I know it is insincere."

"I was in earnest – when have you behaved improperly?"

"Oh, I don't know – the episode at the Netherfield ball comes to mind."

"Who wouldn't have been upset? I have had time to think upon it, and it was quite a natural reaction. You were very proper about it, also – if I had not followed you to the garden, nobody would have witnessed it."

"You cannot say my attitude in general is exactly proper. My Mama always complains I am a bluestocking."

"You are somewhat of a bluestocking, but that does not make you improper. It is soon obvious that despite your ease in company, you do not necessarily wish for too much of it. You often take breaks or play the piano during parties."

I eye Darcy suspiciously. "How do you know that? I thought I was being discreet."

"It is quite noticeable, once you start looking – and that is what I was addressing, mostly, when I told you your own attitude with your neighbours was not better than my own. I have tried to improve myself, lately."

Huh. Funny that Darcy has observed me navigating the social scene at Meryton. I guess he saw some of his own awkwardness in me.

The rest of the carriage ride passes surprisingly quickly – Mr Darcy and I mostly discuss evasion tactics from people we don't get along with. He mostly relies on the "Darcy glower" as he calls it, and he makes me practice it, too. It's good fun – I spot Mr Gregory shooting Darcy and I curious looks, but I'm proud I've managed to coax a proper laugh from Mr Darcy by the end of the trip. He was really making an effort, I think.

We arrive at the Gardiner household in very good time. Mr Darcy escorts me out, and I'm surprised when I see that he doesn't move to enter the carriage again once my things are unloaded.

"Would you mind if I went in to introduce myself to your aunt and uncle? Mr and Mrs Gregory will be going on to Woolwich without me. I shall hire a cab to return home."

"Oh, of course not! Come in."

We are greeted by a very excited Isabella, who hugs me on sight. "Oh, Mary, I'm so glad you have come early! George is being positively boorish, and refuses to go play because he has 'homework'. And mama doesn't want to go out in the cold. Oh – there's someone with you."

"Yes. This is Mr Darcy, Isabella. Mr Darcy, this is my cousin, Isabella Gardiner."

Isabella is busy watching her feet.

"Come on, let's go to the parlour, we must greet your mother, who must have been expecting me."

If Mrs Gardiner is surprised when Mr Darcy follows me in her home, she certainly doesn't express it. Instead, she is the perfect hostess, and when they both catch on to the fact that they grew up around Lambton, their enthusiasm is so great that they can barely wait for the other to finish their sentence to start talking again.

Mr Gardiner interrupts the scene, with his classic good cheer. Thirteen years after my arrival in this time, and he is still really good looking. I hope I get those good genes. He hears that Mr Darcy escorted me to their house, and tries to invite him for dinner. Mr Darcy, however, has noticed the time, and has a prior engagement.

It is agreed that Mr Darcy shall come dine with us in a few days. It is to be a family dinner, so he even asks if his sister can come, also.

I'm excited about meeting Georgiana. I didn't expect to, after Lizzie's wedding to Mr Gregory, but now that Mr Darcy and I are "friends", I guess I might even get to know her. I would really like to play a duet with her, depending on her skill at the piano. If she's better than me, that could be a treat.

I'm glad Mr Darcy and I got a chance to try a "take two". He was perfectly pleasant during the ride, and I can feel my old animosity, which had mostly faded away, turn to tentative friendliness.