A/N: Sorry about the wait on this chapter. Anyway, now that we're all back together, we can watch as Denethor and Boromir go...do something educational that no one really cares all that much about.

Chapter Two: Welcome to a Swamp!

In a Swamp...

We see our intrepid 2 man crew, along with Haldir and Arwen, trekking through a swamp. Denethor looks positively contented, everyone else looks upset.

"Ok, Denethor, I think you can stop walking!" Haldir says.

"Well, well, aren't we crabby!"

"Denethor, can't you just start talking? Please."

"Ok, ok, Arwen. Hey, did you and Aragorn get that divorce yet?"

"Er...should we talk about this on Public Television?"

"Maybe, Arwen. I mean, the Elvish Entertainment Station already did a whole feature on it." Haldir interjects.

"You actually watch that CRAP??" Arwen screams.

"Well, it is true, isn't it?"

"Can we please get back to the topic?" Arwen asks, looking at everyone with the Look of Death.

"Ok.... Welcome, Home Viewers and Children to A SWAMP! But this isn't any old swamp! It's a Swamp in the General Area of the Anduin Irrigation System!" Denethor beams, smiling crazilly.

"Wow. If that's not one for a Christmas Card, I don't know what is." Arwen says, snapping a photo with the Polaroid.

"Boromir! Get over here! Help me look through this murky water for anything interesting!"

They look around, with Arwen and Haldir arguing over the price of fine elvish wine at Celeborn's Discount Liquor Mart.

"Hey!!! Look at this!"

The group runs over to where Boromir is pointing in the water.

"Look! A message in a bottle! Ain't that cliche?"

"Open it!!!"

Boromir pulls the bottle out, with about 20 years worth of alge and mud on it.

"EEW! Don't let it touch me!" Haldir squeals.

"WHAT? Tickets to an Edoras Chargers football game??? This is TRULY INSANE!!"

"Aren't they expired???"

"Hmmm...seem to be still good! Hey, dad, can we go and teach the kids about how to play football? Please?" Boromir says.

"Well, sure! That'll be the next episode!"

"But I thought we were going to explore caves on our next episode??" Arwen says. "Gimli got us onto a special tour!!!" Arwen says.

"Hmm, can't we cancel??"

"Well, let me call him, maybe we can get on a tour on a later date." Arwen muses.

"Hmmm, that might work. Yep, that'll do."

"Good! I'll go get the tickets!"

"Get 8!!"

"All right!" Boromir runs off to place the order.

"Hello, is Gimli there? No, this is not his girlfriend!" Arwen says, talking in her cell phone.

Everyone else laughs.

"Hello, Gimli? Hey, it's Arwen. Yeah, about the tour...can you get us on a later date? We just realized we have a conflict.... Self guided??...you mean you leading us...No? Like, us leading ourselves? Oh, ok, not that then. Ok, so you will be leading us? Good. We'll take that. Thank you!" Arwen says, sounding very preppy.

"Dear lord.."

"Thanks, Gimli!!! You're the best!"

"No, he's not..." Haldir mutters.

After 30 minutes, back at the TV studio...

"Ok, crew, we're going to an Edoras Chargers Football game." Denethor explains.

"And whom might they be playing??" Elrond asks.

"Er, Boromir??"

"The Shire Bar-flys." Boromir says.

"Oooh, that'll be a good match!"

"Hey! Shut up! I'm watching the Dunadains Live in Concert!" Arwen screams.

"Ooh, isn't that hottie Elendil in there??"

"Oooh, yeah! I LOVE YOU!!!"

"Maybe we should go to one of their concerts next!"

"And teach the Kids how to Mosh??" Faramir says.

"And I thought my wife loved me..." Celeborn muses.

"Maybe I don't!" Galadriel says.

"This is just weird."

"That's what I said when my dad said he wanted to film this show!" Faramir says.

A/N: Yeah, weird, but...well, what else is new? Anyway, in our next episode, we shall go to the Football (American Football) game. A totally freaky experiance shall be experianced by all. Anyway, see you at chapter three!