A/N: Hello! I'm back with this story!! No I didn't forget it! Anyway, as promised, we're going to an American Football Game. A truly enlightening experiance will be experianced by all!

Chapter/Episode 3: How to Get Lost in a Football Stadium

At the Studios aka Denethor's Basement aka Faramir's House...

"All right, group, are we all present?" Denethor asks.

"Well, I mean, why are we here?" Galadriel drawls.

"Honey, don't stress, you might hurt yourself again. Remember what happened when Frodo came over?" Celeborn says.

"You mean the fact that I got preg----" Galadriel says, but Celeborn covers her mouth.

"YOU WHAT? GRANDMA!!" Arwen screams.

"WHAT?" Elrond screams.

"I mean, haha, forget I even said anything. I'm intoxicated." Galadriel says.

"Well, we're all here." Haldir says.

"Hey, why is Boromir not here? I mean, it is his football game." Faramir says.

"Good point, kiddo. Maybe you should look for him." Denethor says.

"But don't ditch me like you did when you and mom and Boromir went to see the Dunadains in concert."

"You did WHAT?" Arwen screams, pulling herself away from her copy of Teen ME Elf and looking at Denethor and Faramir.

"Yeah, you saw who in concert?" Galadriel asks, getting that dreamy look in her eyes.

"Well, Dad and Mom and Boromir went to see the Dunadains. Mom liked that drummer, Arathorn, and Boromir just liked the music and dad just went because mom went." Faramir says.

"Well, run along now and get your brother." Denethor says.

Faramir runs up the stairs to Boromir's room and knocks loudly.

"BOROMIR! OPEN UP!"

"What?" Boromir asks, opening the door.

"Well, we're leaving..."

"Leaving? Er, hold on a moment..." Boromir says, ducking back inside.

"What on Earth are you doing?"

"I was watching a re-cap of the Charger's last game against the Valinor Vala." Boromir says. "I got in the betting pool at work."

"But this is our work. We have a betting pool?" Faramir asks.

"Well, yeah. Can I put you down for a bet?" Boromir asks.

"Er, no thanks. I think we're gonna be late if you don't hurry up!" Faramir screams.

"Fine, fine, don't have a freakin' cow or anything." Boromir says, as they walk down the stairs.

They walk back to the main area thing where everyone else is. They all start to head out, when...

"FARAMIR OF GONDOR!! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING UNTIL YOU CLEAN UP THIS MESS!!!" Eowyn screams down the stairs.

"Whoa...what's her problem?" Denethor asks.

"I hate this...CLEAN IT YOURSELF!!! IT'S AS MUCH YOUR HOUSE AS IT IS MINE!!!" Faramir says.

"YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT!!" Eowyn screams.

"Are you guys married yet? Because if Aragorn is gonna be free, you can just hitch her up with him and get Arwen." Elrond says.

"I HEARD THAT!" Arwen says.

"What? Dearest, it's best for you!"

"So, I'm supposed to marry someone 5,000 years younger than me?? For Eru's Sake, he's only 36!" Arwen yells.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Faramir moans.

"Well, I mean, at least Aragorn was 87!"

"Oi vay..." Boromir says.

"Look, can we just go? You guys can start the car, and I'll climb out the window and I'll get in the car and then we'll drive off." Faramir whispers.

"You have to leave your house this way every day??" Arwen asks in shock.

"Well, I figure that Eowyn's too busy trying to cook upstaris, and the smoke from the stove is really black, so yeah, I get out alright." Faramir says.

The rest of the Crew leaves, Arwen putting new film in her Polaroid and Elrond reading a 5,000 year-old-plus joke book. Boromir has his Chargers jersey on and Galadriel and Celeborn are talking about something pretaining to their little Kingdom of Lorien.

They start up the car. Suddenly...

"SNEAKING OUT??? Well, DON'T EXPECT ME TO COME BACK! I'M LEAVING!!! AND I MIGHT JUST HOOK UP WITH ARAGORN, BECAUSE THAT SNOTRAG ARWEN IS GETTING DIVORCED!! MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING!!!" Eowyn screams, packing a suitcase.

"SNOTRAG? THAT SNOTTY BI----" Arwen screams.

"Arwen, control yourself!" Haldir says.

"Thank you, Haldir."

"I'M LEAVING, FARAMIR!" Eowyn says, walking out.

"Well, that made my life either a lot easier or a lot more complicated." Faramir says.

Eventually, they all start driving off to the game.

At Theoden Stadium...

"Tickets please. Tickets!" says Ticket Collector 2.

"Here." Boromir says, handing the man the 8 tickets.

"Thank ye, sir. Box seats are that way. Follow the neon sign. You can't miss them."

The group heads off.

"Wait...he did say the neon sign? Or the Xenon sign?" Boromir asks.

"Why don't you ask for directions?" Galadriel says.

"I don't need no stinkin' directions." Boromir replies.

"Men," Galadriel says.

"It's your funeral." Arwen says.

Twenty minutes later...

"I'm sure he said NEON SIGN! Are you THAT DENSE??" Haldir screams.

"Boromir, just give us our tickets and we'll find it." Faramir says.

Faramir, Galadriel, Haldir, and Arwen grab their tickets and march off, following the neon sign. (No, Faramir and Haldir are NOT being girly, they're being smart)

"Haha. We're men, we'll find our way..." Boromir says.

"Actually, I'm only half-man." Elrond says.

"What's your other half, then, girl?" Denethor says.

"NO! I'M ONLY HALF HUMAN! I'M HALF ELF!" Elrond screams.

"And I'm an Elf." Celeborn interjects.

"WHATEVER! Nitpickers will be fried and burned!"

"Burned? What's this about burning?" Denethor asks, snapping to attention.

"SHUT UP!! Look. The game is starting soon. We have to get to the seats." Boromir says. "This is a matter of life and death."

"I thought it was a matter of seeing men run around in really tight pants?" Elrond asks.

"Elrond...that was perverted." Boromir cringes.

"Shame on you, son-in-law." Celeborn says, shaking his head disgustedly.

"WHATEVER! Look, we really have to try to find the seats and stop hanging around! Let's go!"

The men (and half-elves and elves) run towards a large neon sign.

In the Box Seats with Haldir, Faramir, Galadriel, and Arwen (about 2 minutes later)...

"This is exciting!! Move over, Faramir, I wanna sit next to Haldir!" Arwen says.

"What if Aragorn heard you now?"

"Well, we may or may not be getting a divorce," Arwen says. "And besides, Haldir is cute!"

"WHAT? ARWEN! You're MARRIED!" Faramir says, nearly falling out of his chair.

"So, Faramir, I talked to your brother a few days ago." Galadriel says.

"That's...wonderful?"

"Isn't it? He's kinda cute, you know."

"GALADRIEL! You're MARRIED to CELEBORN!" Faramir says, nearly falling out of his seat (again).

15 minutes later...

Faramir is returning with 10 Hot Doggies (I own that company...) and 4 large Icees.

"Mmm, Coca-cola Icees!" Galadriel says. "Gimme!"

"Oooh, Straberry Icee!" Arwen squeals.

"Lemon Lime Cherry Icee!" Haldir says.

Faramir passes out the Icees. He then hands out 1 hot dogs to Arwen, 2 for Haldir, 2 for himself, and 5 to Galadriel.

Suddenly, Denethor, Boromir, Celeborn, and Elrond burst in.

"See? Told you we'd make it!"

"Yeah. 17 minutes late?"

"That is IRRELEVANT!"

"Sure. Just sit so we can watch the game."

A/N: In our NEXT episode, we'll have the actual Game and then some! So leave a review if you like!