Hello There. I'm new to posting stories but I do have a number of fan fictions written and saved to my computer. I thought I might as well start off with one of my favoured pairings. I also have a number of Harry Potter/Remus Lupin werewolf stories and a SS/HG pairing. Others I have are some WR/SS pairings and CC/AD pairings. Lots more are in construction.

This starts in a first person point of view and will continue every few chapters in this manner. I've also written most rest of it in the third person.

Also if you'd like to chat about stories or help with beta-ing, my e-mail and msn messenger is pastlingers I'd love to chat.

Chapter 1:

I wanted to hurt her. Hurt her like she hurt me. Tie a rope around her throat and hurdle her over a cliff. I'd leave her hanging there, too. Not the most graceful death. She would surely not approve if she had a say. Hmm…maybe I'd do better with less…drastic measures. No matter how much she may deserve it.

I leave tomorrow. I'm not going to tell anyone. They'll either see me out with smiling faces or beg me to stay. I'm not quite sure which would be worse…it'd just be a distraction anyway. I'll be better off once I'm away from this hellhole. I won't have to think of any of them anymore.

I think a part of me wants them to care. Wants them to beg. That's why I'm leaving. They've weakened me. Weakened me to a point where I do care about them. About their opinions of me. It's a horrible feeling. Like a part of me wants to beg them. Beg them to give a shit. It won't matter though. Not anymore.

I've found myself a companion. A companion for this search for belonging. I was looking through his phonebook and found a number. I called it and was met by the most beautiful sounding girl. We talked for hours. I've since come to know her as Dawn. It's quite ironic that my father holds the number of such an angel with the same name as the thing he despises most. We're good friends now. It's been months that we've been corresponding. I've never met her in person, though. That's okay. I don't need to meet her to know that she's an angel. I used to feel so strongly about her. I thought I had fallen in love. Since then we've come to be the closest of friends…and I think that's all I want. I've never had a real friend. Someone who won't share your secrets. She's so nice.

She wants to come with me. That amazes me the most. I told her I was leaving and she begged me to bring her. She said it was because she didn't want me to get killed. I don't believe her. I know there's more to it than that. It doesn't matter, though. If she wants to start over as well, who am I to disagree? I believe that would make me a hypocrite.

I drive down to her town to pick her up in the morning. Now I have to pack. I can't believe that tomorrow I finally meet the person who helped me make sense of life. Though she's denied it many times over, she is an angel. My guardian angel.

…………

I can't believe it! Tomorrow! He comes tomorrow! I meet him tomorrow. I meet the person who helped me through this…this time of perpetual darkness.

Perpetual? I've been hanging around Willow too much. In fact, I've been hanging around them all too much. I feel like they expect me to be this…understanding little…sideliner. I'm not strong to them! They all have all this power and I'm just this little…pest. I know I am. I've seen the way Buffy looks at me. Like I'm this big chore…another mess to clean or demon to kill.

It doesn't matter now, though. I'm going to go with Connor. He's not going to treat me like a pest. He'll treat me like an equal. I know I can trust him. Trust his word. He's so nice to me. Not like any of them. They've long since become bored of me. I'm nothing anymore. That's why I'm going with Connor. I want to be something again. Anything. I think Connor can help me with that.

He's called me he's guardian angel. That's not true. If anything, he's my guardian angel. Everything he's helped me with over the last few months…I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe…are we each other's guardian angels, in a sense? We've helped each other conquer our inner demons.

What a phase for me to use, huh? Inner demons? It's the outer ones you'd think I'd have more trouble with. Not a chance. I couldn't possibly be that lucky. You know you've lost it when you want to be ambushed by demons. I think I have lost it.

I hope morning comes soon. The sooner Connor gets me and we leave this town the better. I don't think I can stand to hear that bitch of a sister mutter my name one more time.

I wish the sun would rise already…

………

Well it's short but I'll update soon. It's my knowledge that reviews are good so if you would I'd love to hear what you think I could do to improve it or if you like it this way.